How do you get close to a girl who doesn't let people get close to her?

[pikachu_69]

One of my plates is quite a closed person, I spoke to her friends recently and I found out that not only I have been having probs getting close to her. I think she has trust issues, what would cause a girl to not let people get close to her?

From what I felt interacting with her on dates, I realised that she guards her private life with her life. She lets noone in, I just thought it was cause she was trying to cover all the guys she's having 'coffee' with so won't look like a slvt for seeing so many guys. Her friends don't like her as much because 1 day she arranged to have tea with 1 of them and she just forgot and her friend said she's just 1 of those people who is busy doing so many things that she just 'forgets' I don't know if i buy it, but it's interesting hearing others interactions with her. They mentioned that she's the sort of person they couldn't get close to because she'll always say something like 'oh i have stuff to do' in a i'm so busy playful way when they ask her where she's going.. sometimes she's just having coffee with a girl but they think it's cos she's pretending to be busy and important. I know better cause I have been closer to her and I reckon it's because she'll get found out for seeing so many guys for coffee. I mentioned this to her friends, but they weren't convinced about that notion so I dropped it.

I also know that she has no friends growing up, as in friends she's had since childhood, it seems as if friends are just temporary and she told me that she expects to make her closest friends with people you work with because you spend so long together everyday. I don't understand this theory but she also mentioned how last year she hated her time studying at a different language college in another part of the country because she had no friends. She also has a tendency to attract 'crazys' as in her former boss tried to come onto her and marry her, also her language partner tried to marry her after only 2 meetings! WTF?! LOL

What kind of girl does this sound like?

I really like her and I'm trying to figure out the best tactics to counter this trust issue. I told her I'd never abandon her and never give up on her, some element of me feels sorry for her and another part makes me want to take care of her. I don't know if she's a child abuse victim or has daddy issues with abandonment.

 

[f283000]

pikachu_69, shes too busy to see YOU for coffee but this same girl that is not close to anyone would suck the ___ of a guy minutes after meeting him if he's the right guy. She is nothing special no girl is.

What you have to understand is that girls with mental baggage:
1. Just like any other girl they will be more than happy to have a guy in their lives but it has to be the right guy. You are not the right guy. She will put mountains for you to climb before you can get close to her. If you were the right guy she would f___ you in an instant just like any other girl would if you were the right guy. If you were the right guy she would drop her protective wall in an instant to make sure things work out.
2. You only live once. Focus your energy on girls that either choose you up or don't put mountains for you to climb. Life is too short to be chasing such girls considering the vast supply of them. It only makes you look bad and as a guy with no options to be chasing such women. The time and energy you are wasting on this girl could be spent on a girl that greets you with nothing but smiles, open arms and makes you feel like a man.

 

[theunflushables]

How do you get close to a girl like that? You don't.

 

[pikachu69]

But that's my point she did open up to me much more than she did anyone else especially after speaking to her friends, she's naturally guarded and I didn't understand why. Some things I noticed she'd tell me but would only tell me about 50% of, I just thought she was trying to be 'honest' about something by saying a 'friend' did this etc like if a guy came onto her the night before she wanted to be honest and admit it happened but at the same time didn't want to look guilty letting some guy try to pick her up. At this time I thought she was just giving me half truths.

IF the girl is more open to me than other people, but still is guarded, how do I open her up so I can get closer to her?

 

[Desert Fox]

yeah she tends to attract crazies alright. esp guys who pick pikachu 69 as their screen name lmao

but seriously, she probably doesn't like you man. or is a stuck up b1atch.

answer me this, if you liked a girl, and she wanted to have coffee w/u. would u make time for her? or be like "ahh no. i'm too busy"

p.s. why did u make 2 screen names? lol

 

[pikachu69]

Cos there's only a 10post limit so I can keep posting but she does make time to see me that's the point what I'm saying is how do I get closer to a closed girl? Read the last 2 paragraphs of my 1st post in this thread please, it gives a better insight into her mindset which I can't decode. For instance if I NC her she may feel I've abandoned her like her father did many years ago, I'm spinning platess but this 1 really intrigues me.

yeah she tends to attract crazies alright. esp guys who pick pikachu 69 as their screen name lmao

but seriously, she probably doesn't like you man. or is a stuck up b1atch.

answer me this, if you liked a girl, and she wanted t
o have coffee w/u. would u make time for her? or be like "ahh no. i'm too busy"

p.s. why did u make 2 screen names? lol

 

[sodbuster]

There's a reason she has no friends-HER personality. The biggest red flag I've ever seen. Even bar girls have friends,cluster B's have friends,hoes have friends. SHE doesn't?

 

[pikachu69]

There's a reason she has no friends-HER personality. The biggest red flag I've ever seen. Even bar girls have friends,cluster B's have friends,hoes have friends. SHE doesn't?

She does have friends, I think everyone is missing the point of my thread and what I've written, what I'm saying is that it's hard for anyone to get CLOSE to her because she's a closed person, how do I open her up?

I need to know because I don't think my usual tactics are working and maybe I need to gain her trust.

 

[horaholic]

Everyone understands your point completely. You dont understand that you CANT MAKE someone open up. Either she does, or doesnt, but you'd be better off focusing your energies on someone who is more open to begin with.

 

[nismo-4]

Pikachu, use your Thunderbolt and hope the girl gets paralyzed in the knees! LOL, JK!!

Seriously, you'd have to be Mr. Right to get this girl. Since you aren't, you'll be swimming the oceans and climbing mountains for this girl.

Spin more plates.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Tongue more ass while you're at it.

 

[pikachu69]

Pikachu, use your Thunderbolt and hope the girl gets paralyzed in the knees! LOL, JK!!

Seriously, you'd have to be Mr. Right to get this girl. Since you aren't, you'll be swimming the oceans and climbing mountains for this girl.

Spin more plates.

LOL I already used my thunderbot hahaha.

The thing is... She did let me get close to her, when things were going well I felt she was opening up to me but I don't know if it's a test to see what I do with her information whether I keep it private or I spread it like gossip. What if I am Mr Right for her and she felt that at 1 point?

Would I need to come back and try again at a later stage like say in 2 months?

 

[nismo-4]

LOL I already used my thunderbot hahaha.

The thing is... She did let me get close to her, when things were going well I felt she was opening up to me but I don't know if it's a test to see what I do with her information whether I keep it private or I spread it like gossip. What if I am Mr Right for her and she felt that at 1 point?

Would I need to come back and try again at a later stage like say in 2 months?

This girl must be a ground type who is immune to electricity.

This is not a video game where you get 3 lives. You only get 1 first impression.

I should have used Charizard as my name instead of nismo-4.

As you are reading this the girl is probably getting railed by some muscleman.

FWIW just stay cool.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Well, your first problem is that you like to call yourself Pikachu on a men's dating forum.

By plates, you're talking about dinnerware right?

 

[pikachu69]

I think this girl might be trying to get back at me, my friend she tried to get his number through another friend of hers, do u think this is done on purpose? My friend told me he was in a caf wither and she was upset cos her mum is really ill in hospital and went back home or booked a flight at the time. She wasn't really flirting with him cos she was obviousky upset but wrote her number down for him and text him yesterday asking why he didn't tect her baCk. He's not that close of a friend but he's loyal enough not to try anything with her. Do you think she's genuinely interested?

 

[sodbuster]

In him,not you. YOU lose, give him your blessing-maybe someone will get laid. Might as well be a friend of yours-cause it won't be you.

 

[pikachu69]

My issue is whether I should be p1ssed at him for not telling me sooner, cos he said they exchanged numbers on wednesday, well she wrote her number down for him. I asked him for advice about her before so he knew I really liked her, they're from the same country so have similar culture, I think the fact he didn't try it before or not as much has helped him because he's become more of a challenge for her, he already has great social proof he's rich he has game, I knew he had skills when I met him. I don't know if he tried it with her before but when I mentioned him to her on 1 of our dates she seemed to act a bit uncomfortable which makes me think he tried it or she liked him then. I debating whether I should go talk to her cos her mom is really ill and in hospital that's why she went home. He obviously didn't flirt with her on weds when she wrote down her number cos it be a bit sh1tty on his part cos of her mom but that shows she has hi I'll in him. Right now is a crappy time for her and I promised her I'd always

In him,not you. YOU lose, give him your blessing-maybe someone will get laid. Might as well be a friend of yours-cause it won't be you.

 

[pikachu69]

Be there for her. I made the mistake of catching feelings for her but if she's really vulnerable right now and I don't want to take advantage of the situation but when she's back she may want someone to concole her, is it unlikely that she'd seek solace with me if I'm around? I'm very wary I need to be there when she's back before he sees her, which is unlikely. She'd probably want to seek solace with him even though they don't know each other very well and knowing him if she's vulnerable and wants to sleep with someone I rather it be him than me. Is there anyway I can make sure I'm the 1 she needs to console her? I don't want to take advantage of the situation but I really care about her and if her mom dies she's lost both her parents. If she just doesn't want to see me anymore even in sucha vulnerable state would she not even consider seeking solace with me?

 

[horaholic]

Dont you know anything? Stay away from girls when they are going through rough times or they will associate you with negative emotions. You are volunteering to be her emotional tampon. You're stuck deep in the freindzone. I can tell by the way you 'care' about her. You need to be the guy she feels good with, not her shoulder to cry on.Guess who she'll come cryin' to when the next guy fvcks her and chucks her. Man the fvck up, grow a dyck, and read the DJ bible. You are here asking for some kind of magic pill that doesnt exist.

Sorry for the tough love, but you need to wake up, and smell the reality. You cant make anyone attracted to you. There is nothing you can say or do,
to make someone feel something for you. You can only BE an attractive man, and I aint talkin' about looks.

How can you BE an attractive man, you ask? By not being a needy wuss-bag, for starters. You're a fvcking man, now act like one. You say you 'care ' about this chick. I call bvllshyt. You only care cuz shes a chick, and you're attracted to her. Do you 'care' that much about your guy friends? I didnt think so. I know you want to be there for this girl, and help her through her shyt, but it is a very bad idea if you are interested in her. Im telling you honestly, that the best thing you can do for yourself is improve yourself, and meet many other women. Forget this chick. She's damaged goods. She has a ton of emotional baggage, that she will dump on your shoulders, and only give you friendship in return. you can be her friend, but forget about hooking up with her. Even if you did get her, she is most likely gonna be a roller coaster of drama. All hurt girls are. Its best to find one that isnt. She aint Snow White, and you aint Prince Charming, so dont try to save her. Go save a bunch of other hors from the absence of your penis between their legs. Be sexual, not supportive.

One more question: What do you have to offer this girl? And... more importantly, what does she have to offer you? What are your expectations out of her, and what do you think a relationship, or whatever you want from her is going to be like?

 

[pikachu69]

Dont you know anything? Stay away from girls when they are going through rough times or they will associate you with negative emotions. You are volunteering to be her emotional tampon. You're stuck deep in the freindzone. I can tell by the way you 'care' about her. You need to be the guy she feels good with, not her shoulder to cry on.Guess who she'll come cryin' to when the next guy fvcks her and chucks her. Man the fvck up, grow a dyck, and read the DJ bible. You are here asking for some kind of magic pill that doesnt exist.

Sorry for the tough love, but you need to wake up, and smell the reality. You cant make anyone attracted to you. There is nothing you can say or do,
to make someone feel something for you. You can only BE an attractive man, and I aint talkin' about looks.

How can you BE an attractive man, you ask? By not being a needy wuss-bag, for starters. You're a fvcking man, now act like one. You say you 'care ' about this chick. I call bvllshyt. You only care cuz shes a chick, and you're attracted to her. Do you 'care' that much about your guy friends? I didnt think so. I know you want to be there for this girl, and help her through her shyt, but it is a very bad idea if you are interested in her. Im telling you honestly, that the best thing you can do for yourself is improve yourself, and meet many other women. Forget this chick. She's damaged goods. She has a ton of emotional baggage, that she will dump on your shoulders, and only give you friendship in return. you can be her friend, but forget about hooking up with her. Even if you did get her, she is most likely gonna be a roller coaster of drama. All hurt girls are. Its best to find one that isnt. She aint Snow White, and you aint Prince Charming, so dont try to save her. Go save a bunch of other hors from the absence of your penis between their legs. Be sexual, not supportive.

One more question: What do you have to offer this girl? And... more importantly, what does she have to offer you? What are your expectations out of her, and what do you think a relationship, or whatever you want from her is going to be like?

It's not what I have to offer her, she's hard to get close to but I did get closer to her than anyone else or even her friends have managed to. It's not her fault that her mom may die, I do care about my guy friends just as much if their mother was about to die.

I think a relationship with her would be fine once we're actually together, the issue seems to be she doesn't like me anymore and wants my friend which I find confusing if her mom is really ill, why is she looking for a new guy?

Is he the guy who gives her good feelings cos he's a challenge or just her next challenger target?

Because there was a break down in trust between me and her where she felt she couldn't trust me with her private life I feel I have to be there for her during tough times like bereavement. I told her I'd always be there for her no matter what so I should deliver, if she still doesn't want me around anymore then i'll leave but I have to at least offer my self to console her.