How do you genuinely get friendzoned?

[infinitism]

Most guys I believe would ask the other way around.



But unfortunately, it seems for me that I've been having some trouble being able to make a woman truly just a friend. I do have a couple, but one is from high school, and the other from the very beginning of college. I am now beginning my sophomore year of college.



I don't mean this in any other way than just revealing the facts. Most of the women I have encountered in my life have hit on me over long periods of time, or have played games with me to try to get my attention (jealousy, hard to get, etc). I have tried getting closer - nonsexually - to the girls I meet in my social groups in college, but all to no avail. This even just leads some of them to straight-up asking me out, kino-ing, etc.



I even know exactly what patterns ensue, and the variations of them, of a women's behavior if they are attracted to you. If trying to "get me" doesn't work for them, it seems like they then don't have much incentive to talk to me from then on, other than being polite.



I don't understand what's going on here. Does anyone else who's in the game have this problem? I'd like at least a few close girl/friends (not girlfriends) that can have my back. I'd really appreciate it if someone would explain to me what is going on, or at least how to improve the situation...




Thanks

 

[infinitism]

I do admit to having really good looks (don't know how to say that without sounding sort of like a douchebag, but...) I'm not really doing much else than just standing there! And I thought looks were not that important when it comes to women wanting to date you?

 

[bigneil]

Women are RARELY genuine friends! That's the whole reason "LJBF" is BS. In general, women do not make good friends - especially those who lead you on, dump you and/or are not sexually attracted to you to begin with. That is why when a woman says LJBF you should go NC.

This also goes for women who are highly attracted to you. Why? Because such women are ticking time bombs that will eventually go off once the reality of your disinterest sets in. Their love will negate and become hate and you will feel their wrath.

 

[thevilittletroll]

i have the perfect solution for you.....tell the girl that you think you might be gay. chicks love to be friends with gay guys

 

[jammy1257]

Damn maybe you can help me then since I get friendzoned all the time. You said you knew about a woman's behaviour if they are attracted to you.

How does a woman behave if she is attracted to you?

 

[Johnny_Kage]

Hook her up with one of your friends.

 

[CuriousGirl]

Hmmm you may not be able to get completely friend-zoned, I'm in a similar position with quite a few of my male friends, but you can friend-zone yourself so they'll no longer be proactive with the coming on to you and then you can forge better non-sexual friendships. They may well still jump into bed with you if the opportunity arises but it means it's up to you if that happens.

You need to get girly, what do girls use friendships for? Sharing, bonding. When girls share things, bonds are made. If they share very personal things, stronger bonds are made. A couple of my male friends tend to come to me for advice on things they wouldn't dream of asking their male friends or if they're embarrassed about it or whatever, so actually this is a good chance for you to chat about things you wouldn't wanna chat about with the guys (obviously you've got to be able to trust the girl you're telling), while also getting a little bit of insight of girls perspectives. This also means you've got to be really honest, tell her things she won't want to hear, be your complete self, warts and all. And she should reciprocate.
(This could also backfire if she finds you the man of her dreams, which she is more likely to interpret as such and overlook things because of the influence of your looks....but you've got to keep knocking her back to reality, talk about the women you really fancy, particularly if they are different to her, yet remind her how much you value the friendship and how she's like a sister to you or whatever. In fact if you develop a brotherly-sisterly relationship then you've got it.)

If you see her without make up on you're there.

 

[PapiChulo]

Sexual tension thats not reciprocated - women dont like that. That is the reason male/female friendship does not work and women know that. You either have to be a complete pusssy and become their "girlfriend" or take it slow little by little and build a relationship over time. Women need man friends for validation and action/fun, because it offers a little insight into the guy world without all the competition and pressure that they may have with other women. And guys need somebody with whom they can actually talk and share things. I would suggest you look for somebody like this. A tomboy would be perfect.

 

[infinitism]

Sweet, thank you guys for the awesome advice! I really enjoyed reading some of the practical tips, and also found the perspective that "once she is attracted, you have to be careful not to offend/reject her, or else there won't be a friendship"


My situation is more severe than I described it originally. I get this problem from married women who even have kids (and are approaching 40!)... this isn't flattering, for I feel like I am potentially serving as a disruptive force in others' lives. I wish I can contain this, and am trying to give off a "less sexual vibe" (but seriously... I was never trying to act sexual around these ppl in the first place).

 

[BettorOffSingle]

Most guys I believe would ask the other way around.



But unfortunately, it seems for me that I've been having some trouble being able to make a woman truly just a friend. I do have a couple, but one is from high school, and the other from the very beginning of college. I am now beginning my sophomore year of college.



I don't mean this in any other way than just revealing the facts. Most of the women I have encountered in my life have hit on me over long periods of time, or have played games with me to try to get my attention (jealousy, hard to get, etc). I have tried getting closer - nonsexually - to the girls I meet in my social groups in college, but all to no avail. This even just leads some of them to straight-up asking me out, kino-ing, etc.



I even know exactly what patterns ensue, and the variations of them, of a women's behavior if they are attracted to you. If trying to "get me" doesn't work for them, it seems like they then don't have much incentive to talk to me from then on, other than being polite.



I don't understand what's going on here. Does anyone else who's in the game have this problem? I'd like at least a few close girl/friends (not girlfriends) that can have my back. I'd really appreciate it if someone would explain to me what is going on, or at least how to improve the situation...




Thanks

You prove my point that going for LJBF is the most powerful "game" of all.

You give them nothing to reject!

I should add that while doing this, I also learned how to make women approach me, and THOSE women, I would pursue aggressively from the get-go, knowing they would never take such a risk if they didn't want me.

Ray Gordon
Bettor Off Single: Why Commitment Is A Bad Gamble For Men
http://www.toosmarttofail.com/bos.pdf
FREE!