how do you deal with ONEITIS and REJECTION?

[Don Juanabbe]

Go find another chick, even one that's not so hot - go out, mingle. You won't be thinking about that chick so much if you're getting your d*ck sucked on a regular basis, in fact, you probably won't be thinking about her at all.

You gotta do it man.

Get a HB5, 6 or 7 and bone her.

You should be approaching this scientifically and not subjectively.

Do what I'm doing - improve yourself -

I went out and hit the clubs/bars alone last Friday because I want to get used to flying solo in the hardest situation I know. I got two phone numbers, not so hot, but I feel like I accomplished something - and that is, trying to conquer my biggest fear in social situations.

F*ck worrying about this broad and concentrate on improving yourself.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Oh, and I don't buy this friendszone sh*t because I've ended up in bed with more than a few girls in my time after having been acquantices/friends with them, sometimes as long as a year or two.

As long as you display detachment and don't engage them every opportunity you have, then you will always keep them wondering if they have what it takes to seduce you.

Don't want them as a friend? Then don't treat them as a friend. Treat them as an acquaintence. Like you would some guy who you don't know that well, but can have a decent convo with from time to time.

You guys are skipping the seduction part and giving them the companionship part right off the bat without making them work for it.

Unless they are giving you the nooky then they shouldn't be getting the companionship. It's that simple.

I've been absolutely flabbergasted by some of the women I thought I had no chance with - mostly because I met all these girls while I was in a 7 year relationship, and never once indicated to them that I was interested. Never flirted - nothing.

Then when my 7 year LTR ended, they were coming out of the woodwork and I fooled around with quite a few of them - and 2 or 3 even had boyfriends.

Aloof detachment is the key, and bide your time for the RIGHT opportunity. Do not hang around with them every opportunity you get.

You will have them hunting you down if you do this the right way.

And in the meantime pursue your other women possibilities, life, hobbies. Just don't give a sh*t.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I agree with Newman. You weren't rejected....how could you be when you didn't actually ask her out.

Listen, you screwed this up. You were trying too hard to play the DJ card like all this "aloof" nonsense. You can't get a girl to dig you just by showing her you don't care......ALL THE TIME. This is where you messed up. Playing the "aloof" thing IN MODERATION CAN (not will) get a girl a little more interested in you as it shows you're not desperate and adds a bit of mystery (where is this guy, what is he up to?). But you just went totally overboard and kept on being "aloof" and accomplished the reverse. You just simply confused her and frustrated her to the point where she totally lost interest and gave up.

 

[Matt Rogers]

I feel your pain.

My take on the situation is that it won't last long with her new boyfriend and he is probably just a rebound. She obviously still has feelings for her old boyfriend. wait till she breaks up with the replacement boyfriend and then make a move. Meanwhile flirt with her, be charming and try not to be too friendly, and see other girls and make sure she knows. Don't act all weird and put out because she is seeing someone else.

 

[frivolousz21]

**** this *****......

seriously you sound like a *****..you are REACTING TO HER.

if you see her say hi and walk by. I am telling you she knew you liked her...she led you on somewhat probably for the attention. now she is with a NEW GUY!!!!!

NEXT NEXT NEXT!

as for the aloof thing..I see why you do it..its can be a way to flirt..but ****...if u know what u want..and u go for it..and you have your INNER GAME..you dont have to be aloof..you will be PIMP!

good luck

 

[pimpin' reloaded>>]

listen son....you sound like yu are sufferin from a bad case of love...this **** happened to me before...yu know what i regret??....actin ""aloof"....if you continue doin that the AMOG is hittin points and burrowin deeper in her heart..you already have some deep connection with her and thats a plus...for real...me a would lay ma cards on table for her....if **** dont work ..at least i tried...trust me, anything less than that will leave you with a sore heart for a long time to come..start punchin the damn numbers on your phone right now...

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Oh for the love of God,..

SPIN MORE PLATES!

You can ask for all the help in the DJ universe and you'll never be able to implement any of it effectively until you can kill the lie that is ONEitis.

You want a technique? Repeat after me,..

There are some good Ones and there are some bad Ones,.. but there is no ONE.
Say this to yourself 10 times a day for a month.

You are self-defeating when you apply all of your resouces towards one prospect. Spin more plates. Any guy under the age of 30 should always have at least 2 women warming up int the bullpen while theres a batter at the plate.

You need to write this one off and learn from the experience. Like DON JUANNABE stated, you've skipped over the attraction/seduction phase and gone right into relationship mode - a glaring sign of AFCness and ONEitis.

Just for the sake of example, lets take your situation with this girl to its logical conclusion. What if you got exactly what you think you want? Let's say that miraculously she does go out with you and becomes intimate with you. What do you want from her? Think about it in terms of everything going your way, you're still screwed because you've got ONEitis and she'll see this. Why do you think she broke up with the previous boyfriend? She knows her intimacy is a commodity that guys want and will give her attention for. Why should your exclusive attention be worth any more than these other guy's? She hasn't shown any appreciation for your 'friendship' now, what makes you think she'll appreciate it more if she gives up her intimacy to you? Eventually she'll get bored with you too and seek alternatives to your attention. Only then you'll come back to the DJ forum and start a thread about how fvcked up chicks are for not appreciating your pathetic attempts to embody the perfect boyfriend for her.

Time to DTB - Dump That B!tch

This ones not worth the effort, grow a pair and work on a few others simultaneously.



Oh, and for the record, men and women cannot be friends before intimacy has been resolved. Anything else is just negotiating intimacy. Stop kidding yourself.

 

[blue17]

I think she WAS interested in you at one point. She was wondering why you were acting aloof, so she was very curious. This shows interest because for me personally, if someone I don't care about starts acting this way I usually just 'next' them, but if I am interested then I am desperate to find out why they are responding in this manner. She also wanted to do the piano+singing thing...and she obviously wanted to do it with someone she cared for (since she ended up going w/ her new bf).

Bottom line you overplayed the 'aloof' card. The only time I find that works is when you are actually busy or generally don't care either way. When you are interested....but you pretend to be aloof it usually doesn't work as good. I'm sure many of us can relate to this.