On disrespect by a woman:
-There's no one size fits all.
-Is it a first date or a 5-year LTR?
-Has this been a pattern or a one-off outburst?
-Taking an OBJECTIVE view, did you contribute to her response? We all f*uck up and act like ass*holes sometimes.
That said, generally speaking, here's how I handle it:
First date or first few dates: Confront the disrespect then and there head-on so she knows you don't take s*hit from anyone and then gauge her reaction. Be cool. Most will back down and get all sweet. The real b*itches will keep at it, which is fine, because then I check out and fire back for my entertainment because I'll never see her again.
Her: "Wow, you seem really wrapped up in yourself."
Me: (Looking at menu or my beer) "How would you know. You don't even really know me." (Spin it) "Sounds like all you date are sycophants and guys who kiss your ass." (Me still looking at menu).
LTR/wife/committed relationship: A bit more tricky because of more moving parts. Also depends on the level of the infraction. Is it a 5, 10, or 15-yard penalty (NFL term for all you non-US guys)? Generally, I don't react immediately. But, the second we're alone, I will calmly explain that I didn't care for the behavior and tell her not to do it again. If she says I'm overacting, being silly, etc., I hold my ground, remain calm, and repeat what I said. Then I drop it and change the subject. I will escalate my reaction if it happens again and if it keeps happening, may call a "timeout" on the relationship or dump her altogether. Again, a few moving parts here.
Everyone has a bad day, week, or says something stupid. You do it all the time. Look for repeated patterns of behavior with elevating reactions and responses on your end.
You deserve respect no matter who you are. If you're not getting it from one person, another one likely will. JUST DON'T (regularly) ALLOW IT.
And always, ALWAYS, be willing to walk. That’s you’re #1 weapon in all things relationships; women, men, business, family, etc.
Good luck.
Dash