How Do You Build A Social Circle?

dadmonson

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I'm in College and I'm having trouble making friends. There are people in my class but while in class everyone seems to be so focused on learning that I hate to bother people by saying "Hey I don't have any friends do you want to hang out?"

Because I don't have any friends I don't go anywhere and I feel like my youth is slipping away from me...

How can I build up my social circle? Is there anyone who was in my situation before? How did you build your social circle?
 

dadmonson

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Here was my plan...

I was going to add acquaintances from High School to my facebook and say " The next time you go to such and such place(The movies club etc), shoot me an invite" is that good? Keep in mind I don't know these people.
 

RedLibra

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Hey man, I was in your shoes when I started college not too many years ago. I didn't know a soul to begin with, never really had to "work" to build a social life before this and was still a little nervous about the newness of it all. I felt like I had social anxiety or something, but that didn't outweigh the feeling of "my youth is slipping away from me."

Do you have any roommates? That would be a decent place to start. I wasn't too crazy about my roommates, but still they were networks to meeting friends and people I actually liked.

If you have spare time, another good way is joining intramural sports teams. Or if you see people playing sports like ultimate frisbee, which is pretty common in college, ask if you can join. Even though I sucked ass at frisbee, I'm glad I took the risk and asked to play anyway.

Another way I met people was through study groups. We had some tough classes, and there were rooms designated for outside studying and homework where people would meet up and share notes. If you have anything like that, not only is it helpful for meeting friends, but it will help your grades and take some of the boredom out of studying/homework.

Other than that, you'll just have to make the dive and meet people. You might be surprised how many people are in your same boat. The more people you know, the more people you'll meet. You just have to get over that initial hurdle before things flow naturally. With tools like cell phones and FB, it's easier to do than you think. Just take the plunge and go for it, you'll thank yourself later.
 

Bossman90

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Slowly start talking to people-then hangout-then have multiple groups and invite people from both groups out and introduce people.
 

powpow

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join a club or something

talk to one person, make them feel special, then get invited to parties. make friends at a party, exchange numbers, and make plans to do something outside of school. friends beget friends beget friends.

trust me Ive done this ever since I started moving around when I was young... about 7 years worth of this bull****. any questions you can pm me
 

Quiksilver

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making friends at parties is lame, unless its just to get invited to more parties ..

make friends in your life, related to your goals.

ie.

your in college, depending on your major hopefully you're looking for relevant work experience?

make some friends at work

you have any hobbies? pick 3 things you like to do or want to start doing ... those are your three hobbies for 2013. meet others who have interest in the same hobbies.

study group? sounds great, hopefully not a sausagefest though.



best acquaintances to meet are the ones you're compelled to meet through your goals.

ie. if you collect stamps :D, network with other stamp collectors.

ie. if you like dirtbiking, meet dirt bikers.

---

pretty much the only way you can fail to meet people and network, is if you sit at home in your room for the majority of your waking hours.
 

PackDaddy

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Dude, that is downright terrible! Dadmonson, listen to me on this.

It is extremely awkward to hit up acquaintances from high school asking to go do something. In fact, it is downright desperate. That is a big time AFC move - don't discount yourself.

The cure to your problem is being Alpha. You are the prize! At the end of the day, people should be more than happy and lucky to have the opportunity to meet you, and if they don't want to be friends with you, then it's their loss. This type of mentality would be highly beneficial to you.

Another recommendation of mine is to read The Social Animal by David Brooks. That book will open your eyes!

Practice man. Go out and try to befriend people. Fail. Learn from your mistakes. Modify your behavior. Successfully make friends.
 
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