how do you avoid taking high maintenance HB for dinner before you've slept with her?

[pete_101]

as per my other thread this is more a general question i have which i've been stumped on for years.

how do you avoid taking some high maintenance chick (you know the sex and the city type of women) you start dating to dinner if she makes the suggestion?

the main reason is these women expect to be wined and dined and are used to that lifestyle so expect that and you aren't willing to comply you have to find some other way to get around it.

note: the option of taking somewhere cheap OR splitting the bill are not options. Reason: they'll refuse to go somewhere cheap and suggest elsewhere and they'll pull the i have no cash line to make you pay or they'll split it and never speak to you again after.

yes a lot of guys say 'they're not worth it' or 'next' etc but that isn't the point.. im not looking for a gf with these women. i just want to get laid.

 

[seethehoop]

Coffee shop, picnic, walk in the park, funfair...don't do dinner until you got laid or you've established your not just a meal ticket. If all she wants it's an expensive meal then she is using you, which is fine if you get what you want first! If she says she wants romance then romance isn't about what you buy, it's about how you make her feel.

Do not fall for that expensive dinner sh!t unless you are rewarding her for giving you what you want.

 

[seethehoop]

Coffee shop, picnic, walk in the park, funfair...don't do dinner until you got laid or you've established your not just a meal ticket. If all she wants it's an expensive meal then she is using you, which is fine if you get what you want first! If she says she wants romance then romance isn't about what you buy, it's about how you make her feel.

Do not fall for that expensive dinner sh!t unless you are rewarding her for giving you what you want.

 

[pete_101]

Coffee shop, picnic, walk in the park, funfair...don't do dinner until you got laid or you've established your not just a meal ticket. If all she wants it's an expensive meal then she is using you, which is fine if you get what you want first! If she says she wants romance then romance isn't about what you buy, it's about how you make her feel.

Do not fall for that expensive dinner sh!t unless you are rewarding her for giving you what you want.

yes i know, my point is you cant do those things with these high maintenance sex and the city type chicks.. they're used to being expensively wined and dined and accustomed to it and expect it.. i know you should avoid these women cos they only want some financier but my point is how does one get around taking them for expensive dinner?

they definitely will not go for a walk in the park or funfair. nexting isn't the point. you just want to get laid.

 

[Purefilth]

yes i know, my point is you cant do those things with these high maintenance sex and the city type chicks.. they're used to being expensively wined and dined and accustomed to it and expect it.. i know you should avoid these women cos they only want some financier but my point is how does one get around taking them for expensive dinner?

they definitely will not go for a walk in the park or funfair. nexting isn't the point. you just want to get laid.

In bold- that would be the point of Nexting right there.
She wants an expensive meal when all she's done is a few texts and a couple of conversations face 2 face? - She hasn't earned it, NEXT.

There are plenty of other girls who will put out without so much as you buying them a drink - How have you been here a year and not figured this out?

 

[Mike32ct]

Schedule your dates for later, say 8pm or 8:30 pm or 9pm. She already ate dinner by then . You can meet her Tuesday night, but you "don't get out of work until later."

At most, you have to buy her a drink and maybe an appetizer as a snack. You can still take her to a decent place, just without the cost of a full dinner.

On the other hand, if your date is at 6:30 pm, you gotta buy her dinner lol.

 

[pete_101]

In bold- that would be the point of Nexting right there.
She wants an expensive meal when all she's done is a few texts and a couple of conversations face 2 face? - She hasn't earned it, NEXT.

There are plenty of other girls who will put out without so much as you buying them a drink - How have you been here a year and not figured this out?

my point is where i live is a rich area, it's full of sex and the city type high maintenance girls expecting expensive dinners.. they are super hot.. much hotter than the regular girls on the treet who will put out after buying them a drink as you say.

my point is.. nexting doesn't get you to sleep with them, how do you get around this without paying for the dinner?

now im talking specifically about these types of women, the super super hot ones.

yes i can also go for the regular HBs who put out more easily which i do but they're not nearly as hot as these ones. nexting is giving up. there must be away around it.

 

[pete_101]

Pete,

I cosign with the others.

Do you honestly think these women are only having sex with men who spend gobs of money on them?

What makes you think this?

If you want to get laid with a hot prostitute, go find one. At least then you know you will get the sex you paid for.

they sleep with guys with loads of money spoiling them AND they sleep with really good looking guys. i'm neither.

they're just high maintenance women.. they may be attracted to you.. but they wont let themself give themselves away cheaply.. the lure of getting expensive meals supercedes her atttraction for you.. and they're super sneaky too, turning drinks into ordering food at the table.. you suggest to split the bill they think you're a loser and that's the end of it.. some other next rich guy will take your place.

there has to be a way around it?

realistically it has to be the DJ's on here who live in upper east side or west side manhattan who have dealt with these types of chicks on a regular basis. they surely have some tricks up their sleeves how to get around this dinner issue.

 

[pete_101]

Schedule your dates for later, say 8pm or 8:30 pm or 9pm. She already ate dinner by then . You can meet her Tuesday night, but you "don't get out of work until later."

At most, you have to buy her a drink and maybe an appetizer as a snack. You can still take her to a decent place, just without the cost of a full dinner.

On the other hand, if your date is at 6:30 pm, you gotta buy her dinner lol.

haha mike i already tried this! i said i had a business dinner prior and scheduled the date for after 8.30.. you know what they do?

they postpone eating to much later so you go for dinner. they're really sneaky in these rich areas. splitting a bill is not an option either.

it's not just this chick i was with, it's some of the other dates i went on in the past 2 years i notice the patterns and manipulation and pressure.

it seems the action dates of tennis or golf, art museums, drinks at expensive bar or dessert somewhere nice or coffee somewhere nice you can only do so much before they drop the dinner bomb on you.

is there anyway to communicate to them that you only buy dinner once you've slept with them?

unfortunately my text from last night i thought communicated this but everyone says i come across cheap

if i ignore her comment about going for dinner and rearrange a date for somethign else and if she keeps suggesting dinner and ignore her, she'll get the msg i wont take her to dinner but that may just make me look cheap not actually communicate i only take girls i've slept with to dinner.

 

[Aristippus]

Mike said:
"Schedule your dates for later, say 8pm or 8:30 pm or 9pm. She already ate dinner by then . You can meet her Tuesday night, but you "don't get out of work until later."

At most, you have to buy her a drink and maybe an appetizer as a snack."

What Mike said is a good idea. Also you can say "Let's meet up for drinks at .......", so she understands this isn't a dinner date. Or you can arrange to meet her for coffee. Just arrange it at a time after lunch and before dinner or after dinner. Most people have lunch from 12-1. You can arrange the coffee date after then. Like 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Again, state what you're meeting up for. "Let's meet up for coffee at........".

Also, make arrangements to do the things you think high maintenance women won't do. If you think she wouldn't like a walk in the park, take her for a walk in the park anyway. This way you can test her interest level.

Pete:
"....they'll refuse to go somewhere cheap and suggest elsewhere and they'll pull the i have no cash line to make you pay or they'll split it and never speak to you again after."

I say if this is the case, then good riddance. I had a woman try this garbage on me once. I had chosen the place. When we meet, she suggests we go somewhere else after already agreeing to meet at the place I had chosen (she had been to the place we both agreed on before). Strike 1. Then at the second place, after I buy her a drink and pay for our first game of pool. She wants to play a second game. It was 50 cents. So I figured I'd test her. She says "I want to play another game but I don't want to pay for it!". That's strikes 2 and 3 in my book. A friend we ran into there was nice and paid for the second game.

It wasn't about the measly 50 cents. It was about an attitude that I didn't like. I just simply heard what she said, ignored it, and continued drinking my drink. Then my friend offered to pay for the game. So we played a second game, then as we left I gave her a platonic hug and never called her again.

The place she had chosen wasn't more expensive than the first. The problem was, we had already agreed on a place, and I was the one paying, so like the old saying goes, beggars can't be choosers. If we make an agreement, don't think all of a sudden you're going to call the shots when I'M the one who's paying. And if you're unwilling to spend 50 cents on me after I buy you a drink and pay for our first game, then you're just a taker. I DISLIKE takers.

Anyway, if a woman is going to be difficult or inflexible (she feels everything has to be her way and is not flexible when it comes to your suggestions) then you're better off dropping her. Don't buy into the b.s. that you have to wine and dine her, etc etc. Quit putting her on a pedestal.

 

[dj_inprogress]

Let me get this straight. You dont have the looks neither the money but you want to accomplish what the others with looks and money do? What's this dating socialism?

The only way I see to accomplish what you want is by treating them like crap because everyone else is not.

Just my opinion.

 

[Aristippus]

I just noticed your reply. Don't ever fall for that "You're cheap." b.s. THEY are the ones that are cheap. THEY are the ones who want to act like freeloaders. Let me ask you a question, if you had a male friend who never paid his way and when you and him went out for drinks or to grab a bite to eat, tried to weasel his way out of paying his fair share or tried to weasel you into spending more money on him, what would you and other people call him?

You'd call him a loser and a freeloader. If you're really that worried about having sex with high-maintenance women without falling for their con, then don't go on dates with them. Go out with them as friends. Get into their social circle, AS FRIENDS, and then do this. Either use them to meet other women, and make a self-imposed rule where you don't sleep with your immediate circle of female friends, but will sleep with women who they introduce you to, or you can be as manipulative as they are, and flirt with them, and start sleeping with one of them. Not dating, just sleeping.

If anyone in the circle suspects, there will probably be at least one back-stabber in the group who will try to "steal" you from the other woman. Be prepared for lots of drama and b.s. and to see one "friend" blatantly betray the other. Personally, not the route I would want to go. You don't have to go for these high-maintenance b*tches. You can find women who are equally attractive who are not high-maintenance, shallow, "Sex-In-The-City type" (as you put it) slVts. Just my two cents.

 

[5string]

You suggest the place or the activity. If she says no, replace and reload.

 

[Bible_Belt]

how do you avoid taking high maintenance HB for dinner

Let another chump do it for you. Then just wait until he drops her home and gets his good night smooch. A lot of women will let one guy spend money on them all night while they text another guy the whole time, and then later ditch the first guy to have sex with the second.

 

[pete_101]

The trick is to have social status. Be dominant. That makes you hot. Yes, looks matter. But I assume you are not hideous.

I think your description of the problem is too vauge though. You clearly have a problem bedding these attractive women and you have already assumed your problem is that you are not spending money on them. I challenge that assumption.

Give us real-life examples of what you have done so far that ended up in failure with some of these women.

it's more that because they are high maintenance sex and the city type women who live on the upper east side west side of new york they're accustomed to guys taking them expensive dinners drinks weekends away etc etc.. thus they become spoiled and get used to a lifestyle they no longer can provide for themselves so they get themselves into debt to buy the latest fashions and hang out in expensive places looking for the rich guys to pick up them up.. yes many are gold diggers but some are less gold diggerish than others and justify it that she just wants to trade up blah blah.. yes you should avoid these women but i only want to sleep with them till they get annoying and excessively demanding mainly cos they're much hotter than the regular hot girls in other cities. tough but still.

my only issue is though i project value, i dont have as much value as some of the rich guys who live here. i have my wit and charm which gets me so far but when i make date suggestions i try to be clever i.e. having coffee or dessert or museums in the rich area i live (coffee can only be so expensive and overall cheaper than going for a drink) or going for a drink in an expensive ****tail bar getting one drink then going for a romantic walk after.. ie looks classy and is classy but spend relativelty little not more than 20 bucks.

my problem i have is when they start to suggest dinner and drinks, like if i make a suggestion for drinks they'll try to weasel in dinner as well (i guess them side ordering some bar food isn't so bad) but the issue is that because i need to take them to some nice ****tail bar that's expensive (though i dont spend more than 20$ overall) im trying my best to keep the cost down tryna improve rapport date to date and escalate.

REMEMBER it's only with these TYPES of women, not other more low maintenance women elsewhere in other cities or towns. so the usual tactics wont work. i guess you could say it's more of a trophy bang more than anything else cos they're quite stuck up and full of themselves but very hot.

is there any other ways to get around this dinner issue? cos as we know buying dinner doesnt equate to them sleeping with you. it's almost as if you have to play insecurity games where they think they're losing you.

i was thinking about making her qualify herself during a date early on suggesting you were taken advantage or used before by women so you're very careful.. i.e. use reverse psychology to make them prove to you they are NOT like one of those previous women.. but for this to work i guess you need to exude value in the first place.

 

[thevilittletroll]

you dont have to take girls out to fancy resturants to get laid. as a matter of fact its actually counter-intuative. dont be one of her orbiters who provides some sort of service for her that she doesnt pay for. i'm not necessarily calling them gold diggers, but there are a lot of socially intelligent females out there that take advantage. they are very attractive women who have a very high social status that have a lot of male orbiters. these are guys that she has no interest in sexually but these men have no idea. these men think that the girl likes them and they can take her to expensive dinners, pay for drinks and covers for exclusive night clubs, buy her jewlery, clothes, take her on vacations, pays her rent etc...and they think they are getting laid. they're not! women are not attracted to guys she can push over and take advantage of. the guy that she is having sex with, is the guy that does not put up with this type of behavior. he doesnt even really set up dates at all. he says i have an extra steak from the grocery store and i cant eat both of them so you should come over. she comes over and you dont even cook the steak. he takes her straight to the bedroom.

first and foremost you should never take a girl your trying to sleep with to dinner for one simple reason. dinner dates are boring, un-original, and no fun. every other guy asks girls out for dinner. you want to stand out, so ask her to do something different.

 

[backbreaker]

the problem here is that you think your situation is unique and it isn't.

I live in southern California. when i was single you think legit hb 8's and 9's don't automatically want to go to the nicest restaurants around town? and i actually do have a little money and I drive/drove a nice luxury car so women automatically assume i have funds to blow on them


you are looking at the entire situation ass backwards lol. not taking a girl out to eat on the first date isn't how you get laid, it's how you weed out women with low interest level in you and furthermore it's how you weed out women who see nothing but a talking ATM machine.

I don't know about you but i want that level of security. I'm not saying every girl i ever talked to was cool with me not taking them out to eat in fact quite a few girls would flake on me, but what you dont' seem to comprehend is that these are girls, that weren't interested in me in the first place. they just wanted me to spend money on them. even if i did have sex with them, which i am sure in some of the cases i veryw ell could, by the time i am done wining and dining them im' better off going to the club and making it rain lol with all the money i've blown on them just to get laid.

simply put, have a definetive first date lined up. stick to your guns. if she doesn't like it or is hell bent on doing something traditional like going to dinner, bye. bye 10 out of 10 times. there is no way around this and frankely there isn't supposed to be a way around it

 

[pete_101]

you dont have to take girls out to fancy resturants to get laid. as a matter of fact its actually counter-intuative. dont be one of her orbiters who provides some sort of service for her that she doesnt pay for. i'm not necessarily calling them gold diggers, but there are a lot of socially intelligent females out there that take advantage. they are very attractive women who have a very high social status that have a lot of male orbiters. these are guys that she has no interest in sexually but these men have no idea. these men think that the girl likes them and they can take her to expensive dinners, pay for drinks and covers for exclusive night clubs, buy her jewlery, clothes, take her on vacations, pays her rent etc...and they think they are getting laid. they're not! women are not attracted to guys she can push over and take advantage of. the guy that she is having sex with, is the guy that does not put up with this type of behavior. he doesnt even really set up dates at all. he says i have an extra steak from the grocery store and i cant eat both of them so you should come over. she comes over and you dont even cook the steak. he takes her straight to the bedroom.

first and foremost you should never take a girl your trying to sleep with to dinner for one simple reason. dinner dates are boring, un-original, and no fun. every other guy asks girls out for dinner. you want to stand out, so ask her to do something different.

i agree with you, the problem im having like with the HB from yesterday is that they try to switch plans to dinner instead of drinks etc.. i thought i was being dominant saying i dont pay for dinner till they're gf's but i just came across cheap in my text and got next'd by her.

yes she was trying to take advantage of me and i saw through it early (ive only spent 10$ on her in total)

i made the suggestion several times i go round to hers to cook her dinner or bring food (i dont have my own place, she does) but she brought that up in the phone call yesterday that i keep suggesting to come round and that she doesnt invite strange men over she doesnt know.. so i countered with 'well that's why we're going for drink tonight so we can get to know each other better.' it was a good comeback given the circumstances but it's quite clear she's testing me to see if im gona be the provider bf she wants and whether im gona take her these places in general.. which im not.. but i just gave off impression im after the quick bang.

 

[pete_101]

the problem here is that you think your situation is unique and it isn't.

I live in southern California. when i was single you think legit hb 8's and 9's don't automatically want to go to the nicest restaurants around town? and i actually do have a little money and I drive/drove a nice luxury car so women automatically assume i have funds to blow on them


you are looking at the entire situation ass backwards lol. not taking a girl out to eat on the first date isn't how you get laid, it's how you weed out women with low interest level in you and furthermore it's how you weed out women who see nothing but a talking ATM machine.

I don't know about you but i want that level of security. I'm not saying every girl i ever talked to was cool with me not taking them out to eat in fact quite a few girls would flake on me, but what you dont' seem to comprehend is that these are girls, that weren't interested in me in the first place. they just wanted me to spend money on them. even if i did have sex with them, which i am sure in some of the cases i veryw ell could, by the time i am done wining and dining them im' better off going to the club and making it rain lol with all the money i've blown on them just to get laid.

simply put, have a definetive first date lined up. stick to your guns. if she doesn't like it or is hell bent on doing something traditional like going to dinner, bye. bye 10 out of 10 times. there is no way around this and frankely there isn't supposed to be a way around it

yes i agree southern california has beautiful women maybe more so than new york however they'rre not as stuck up as the new york women types.. thats why i didnt mention them.. i generally find the equivalent sex and the city type cali girls are more easy going than the new york types.. i.e. if i make a suggestion to go surfing they're down whereas the new york upper east side manhatttan type chick will decline. just my 2 cents.

but what happens after the 1st date.. she didn't make suggestions to go to dinner until after the first date.. yes i think she was trying to take me for a ride and yes maybe i would have slept with her eventually but i wasn't going to be taken advantage of over 5 dates before she gave it up.

i guess the main answer is to next these types of women and make sure i dont on initial pick up come across as if im trying to 'buy' her attention which i must be coming across as when i get nervous. i.e. supplicating.

 

[Aristippus]

Yeah, like the other guys here said, if she's interested in YOU, then you don't have to spend lots of money. You could have some groceries ready, invite her over, give her an apron, have her cook for you, and then when she's done cooking for you, reward her by f*cking her brains out.

Or invite her to watch a movie at your place, have a few laughs or a few scares (if she likes scary movies), and then f*ck her brains out. Or you could meet her for coffee, bring her back to your place to look at your "stamp collection", and then f*ck her brains out. If she wants you, she'll find an excuse for the 2 of you to be in a situation where you eventually wind up doing the horizontal lambada.