How do you all dump someone?

[SkrooU]

Once I decide that I no longer want to be with someone, plate or exclusive, I've pretty much lost all respect for someone. I've been hearing lately that I have a flaky anti social personality disorder by the people I dump. Generally I text them or break it off in the middle of a call when I've had enough of what they're saying. And I'm pretty calloused.

Here's what I generally do.

"We're not compatible; it's been fun; good luck".
"Let's just break it off ok? No hard feelings".
"I gotta go".....then text a few minutes later "It's over. Time for you to start fvcking someone else".

Or I just ghost them if I feel they've disrespected me or tried to emasculate me or make me jealous.

I don't like talking it out because I feel I've already mentioned something a few times and given them warnings.

Do you guys sit them down and talk to them and answer questions and all that?

 

[Glassguy]

If the fwb or relationship is done, she has done something I strongly disagreed with, doesn't like something I do or she has realized that she is only chasing me and I'm not giving in (plate).

If she doesn't like something I've done or she realizes she's a plate/fwb, it normally is brought up in convo. I just say "this isn't working. I'm not going to stop (playing golf, fishing trips, etc) and you seem to not be able to handle me as I am. We need to move on. Good luck".

"Im just not ready to fully commit to anyone and obviously that's what you're looking for. Time to move on. Good luck".

If she has done something to me (disrespect, lying, etc) I just say "This isn't working. We need to end this and move on." Then I would go ghost.

I normally ALWAYS turn it around on them and I NEVER answer questions. Clean breaks are the best.

I also tend to be a monkey brancher. If I have 3 plates I just move one up and search for another to replace in the lineup. It's important to have at least 2 and always be on the prowl for a 3rd. Options are great.....always.

In a LTR I won't monkey branch for cheating. That's an immediate dump. If it's something lesser in a LTR, I might keep her around for a very short time for secks until she's replaced.

Breaking up is for me, not her. So what I do is best for myself and I really never care how she handles my approach to it.

Always be the dumper and not the dumpee.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Message them. I do use crappy platitudes, to be honest. I never enjoy dumping decent people. After that, I don't reply to any other messages or calls.

If It's someone that hasn't given me good behaviour, then just ghost.



Hell no. Though I did that when I was younger. It's stupid and unnecessary.

Someone that's not decent wouldn't even build up enough time with you to worry about, huh?

 

[Paul_FR]

It really depends on the relationship you had with that woman and the reason why you wish to dump her.

If the relationship you had deserves for her to be "let go" with respect, do it nice and easily, perhaps even give an plausible explanation (the truth). That way She will lose you but will still respect you and not indirectly harm your social circle by telling everyone what a c*** you are.

If on the other hand, you can't stand the BS anymore or an abusive situation, do it the hard way in order to make her realize what she has lost and then just cut the ties, don't answer any texts or whatsoever...

Women on the other hand, tend to go around the block before telling you that it's over and therefore make you suffer in between....like they'll go NC for days and then try to tell u its over but then say it's obvious and that it was a mutual agreement... (my recent story....).

 

[YawataNoKami]

Most of the time in public places. Restaurant,bar,coffee shop,etc.

 

[yuppaz]

If she's been good, I'll meet with her somewhere semi public and buy her a bite and tell her she's awesome but that the two of us aren't going to work out. That way she can be a little emotional and I can listen and try to help her out, look out for her best interests amd not make her jaded.

If she repeatedly acts disrespectful and I've given warning and she continues then I'll text her or call her.

If it's been a very short time then I'll ghost

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Scroo,
I have found it is best all round to socially Engineer a situation in which she Dumps You!

 

[Desdinova]

Do you guys sit them down and talk to them and answer questions and all that?

I did that once at my house. She flipped out and made a mess in my living room. From that day forward, I decided that I would never dump women in person ever again. Let them destroy their own 5hit in their own house.

Text messaging, email and Facebook are all convenient ways to get the job done quickly. No setting a day to sit down in public, no watching her cry, nothing. Just "I'm done with you" and it's finished. Some people say that this isn't a "manly" way to break up with a woman. What isn't manly about it? It's quick and efficient, just the way a man should do it.

 

[Roober]

I would think with plates, they naturally just "fall off" and you put another one in it's place. I am new to this and currently have one plate... yep, finally one plate... I am willing to bet I will get the BF/GF talk at some point, and just give the "I am not ready" approach. If in an LTR, you just have to man up and do it.

Agree with most here that it depends on the status of the relationship. With my ex, I should have sat her down months ago and told her that seeing her every two weeks wasn't going to work. If the relationship is good, I see no harm in meeting her somewhere public to do it. Just stay strong and be brief. State your reasons and leave...

The key is when your gut says "DO IT", then DO IT! Listen to your gut. Don't just wait to gut dumped because you won't MAN UP! (i.e. my experience)

 

[Roober]

Depends on the sort of relationship that you have with that plate.

You know that you can have a plate cooking for you, and staying over her place regular? Sort of like a girlfriend and drag it out.

Doesn't have to be a 'booty-call'.

Good stuff! Unfortunately, I don't think this one cooks much, but I do have to say she is pretty fun to hang out with... just have to watch the feels... I can feel it lingering there... I got another potential on Friday and another on Saturday, so maybe that helps with the feels?

the bolded reminded me of clockwork orange.. weird

My advice: deflect, deflect, deflect.

I have noticed that a lot of women won't ask for it outright until they are at their limit. It's become sort of like a marriage proposal, she expects the man to ask for exclusivity, so she will nudge you in that direction.

It's a hilarious state of affairs. Why the fvck would I ask for something that compromises myself?

Even better, is that it gives you more power over the situation.

This is when the sh*t-tests really start though. Expect her to test your frame bigtime. Trying to make you jealous with orbiters, starting to make little snarky digs at you, trying to stay longer at your place on a weekend, trying to monopolize your energy, etc etc.

Like I said, deflect everything and force her into coming out with everything herself. When she does, just deflect some more by asking lots of questions. Will buy you lots of time.

If it's a more masculine 'no bullsh*t' type of woman, then you might be forced into playing it differently though. Any woman that attempts to boss the frame from the off like that should just be nexted anyway IMO.

Not sure exactly how to deflect... so if she goes "What are we?" or "Am I your girlfriend?" or anything else... not sure how to dodge that bullet, especially if she is right in front of me...

 

[speed dawg]

I understand why girls do what they do, they have to break up with guys all the time. It isn't easy (assuming you are a good person). It's hard to tell someone the truth, which is that they aren't good enough for you.

Anyways, I slowly pull back contact, at first. If it's just a plate, this is very easy, and no need to have any conversation about it. With LTRs, it's usually ugly, no matter what you do. In that case, out of respect for someone YOU have spent tons of time with, I usually just give it to them straight.

I have only dumped a few LTRs. If I hadn't, then there would be no reason for me to come to this site over 11 years ago.

 

[nismo-4]

Dropping is easy. Just text that it's not gonna work and you decided it's best to pursue other interested women at this time.

It's different for LTR's but in the initial stages, just drop her. She's not that attractive, and you can do better anyway.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Message them. I do use crappy platitudes, to be honest. I never enjoy dumping decent people. After that, I don't reply to any other messages or calls.

If It's someone that hasn't given me good behaviour, then just ghost.

Probably the best way. Get it over quickly, but no need to be a **** or overly callous about it.

I made the mistake of talking it out, explaining myself with my first gf in HS. She cried for weeks. Horrible, horrible experience.

 

[logicallefty]

I do it the way most people probably won't agree with: I text them (or FB, something written).

One I did about a year ago was similar to this:

LL: " You are obviously used to being the one calling the shots in your relationships and that's fine. You are who you are, but after thinking on it last night I do not think you are going to be a good fit for me; way too much *dejavu. And I have told you what that means. I told you I will not tolerate X, Y, Z that you did it anyway. I know most men would put up with that but that's another problem we have; you have failed to understand how I operate. No harm no fowel. I do wish you the absolute best. I will drop your item-X off at location-Y next week. Take care"

Whenever I get with a woman at first I always tell them that if I say "there is too much dejavu here" to something they do that means they are reminding me of one of my exes from the past and the behavior needs to stop NOW.

I like to text them because if they go psycho on me and I have to get a restraining order, I have a written record that I pulled the plug!