How do regular dudes who aren't manly in the SoSuave/DonJuan fashion maintain relationships?

[Herb]

Let's be real the vast majority of men out there are not players or slayers or red pillers, and most are not even aware of this kind of material on sites like this, and even if they are they often blatantly reject it. I see a lot of average or even relatively feminine men who still manage to maintain relationships with decent women.

It seems like the average guy can still get by without adopting this kind of philosophy towards women. Sure they may not get the quantity and quality that some here do, but I guess a lot of women are still able to put up with men not being ideal in this regard?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Let's be real the vast majority of men out there are not players or slayers or red pillers, and most are not even aware of this kind of material on sites like this, and even if they are they often blatantly reject it. I see a lot of average or even relatively feminine men who still manage to maintain relationships with decent women.

It seems like the average guy can still get by without adopting this kind of philosophy towards women. Sure they may not get the quantity and quality that some here do, but I guess a lot of women are still able to put up with men not being ideal in this regard?

No matter if red pillers and Alpha know the game thus are able to not be controlled by women a large percentage want men they control. Thus the non game aware.

 

[Music_czar]

P

Its even easier because the women are less attractive in most cases. The more attractive the women the more difficult the Game.

^ this. Plus the vast majority of relationships eventually fail, and as much as 70% of marrriages end in divorce. And how many of the rest are truly happy or remain together for financial reasons..

Guys are just starting to wake up to the fact that most women aren’t relationship/marriage worthy. Smash n dash is the only way to go for most men, long term relationships with hot/quality women are extremely rare, and dudes are starting to learn to be happy on their own and use women the way they’ve been using us for generations. Slowly, but surely. White knights are a dying breed, examples such as the Gillette commercial is a last ditch effort on the part of female-oriented intellectuals to stem the tide.

The guys on this website have a head start, because they have realistic support and knowledge spelt out for them in clear black and white.

 

[flowtheory]

They have relationships, sure. But they aren’t fulfilled, they are pacifying each other while secretly wishing they were better themselves or more tapped in to something more meaningful. Most couples are not satisfied. It’s mostly about companionship and comfortability.

Couples usually go to a job, get home, watch tv and eat, then hit they hay. Maybe they have sex, but it’s not connecting.

Depends what an individual is seeking. Most just want easy street

 

[lamath]

They have relationships, sure. But they aren’t fulfilled, they are pacifying each other while secretly wishing they were better themselves or more tapped in to something more meaningful. Most couples are not satisfied. It’s mostly about companionship and comfortability.

Couples usually go to a job, get home, watch tv and eat, then hit they hay. Maybe they have sex, but it’s not connecting.

Depends what an individual is seeking. Most just want easy street

Reflection of my LTR, loss all motivation became lazy/unhappy

 

[Serenity]

I'll deliver a point of view that has been left unmentioned. According to what's presented it seems like guys are either a part of communities like this or they're just complacent in an unfulfilling relationship. But there are the guys who aren't quite like the red pilled guy we promote, but also isn't in a relationship out of his control heading nowhere. They might be unaware of the things we talk about, but have parts of it as a naturally developed habit. It's the naturals, the guys who just get it but aren't aware of what they're doing right.

They stand a better chance of having a fulfilling relationship because they maintain control and they aren't hindered by the cynicism that typical red pill thought can bring. In red pill communities I see more negativity and hopelessness than I do in dudes who remain blissfully unaware, yet have healthy personal habits. They don't focus on blaming women in general when a problem arises, they rather just think that particular woman wasn't right for them and move on.

The red pill knowledge was never supposed to make men cynical, but sadly that's often what it leads to. It was intended to warn guys about the possible pitfalls in order to avoid them, guys who weren't aware of what they should look out for in women and how to handle it. This doesn't mean women are generally bad as it seems many express, it means some are bad and here's how to avoid it so you save yourself some grief. This in order to identify women who do not possess these bad traits, yet many seem hung up on the bad ones and remain blind to the good ones.

That's the burden of red pill knowledge. A burden which some men don't carry, while also having the good traits that it's supposed to give. So they kinda have the philosophy, but in a purer sense without being aware of it enough to define it as precisely as we do on this forum.

But of course, there is also a not insignificant amount of men who just settle in bad unfulfilling relationships and/or end up as doormats. So to be clear, I'm not denying that, just adding a bit of nuance.

 

[Trump]

It seems like the average guy can still get by without adopting this kind of philosophy towards women. Sure they may not get the quantity and quality that some here do, but I guess a lot of women are still able to put up with men not being ideal in this regard?

Great point. I think it comes down what’s important to the individual man and his end goal.

If he is looking to legally, emotionally, physically commit to one woman for the rest of his life, start a family and have kids, sites likes this or red pill awareness doesn’t matter. If he is not, then he takes it all in.

But you are right, a lot of men out there are married to very good looking women and have kids with them without any thought of red pill or alpha qualities. Are they happy? Very possible. Bottom line is you have to decide what is right for you.

I just don’t think you can be married and committed to your wife, an asset that decreases in value and costs you more to maintain over time + be red pill aware.

Could you imagine Hitler or Stalin or Mao giving up their plans for world domination because they “had to” have a certain girl? But I digress....

 

[Spaz]

I'll deliver a point of view that has been left unmentioned. According to what's presented it seems like guys are either a part of communities like this or they're just complacent in an unfulfilling relationship. But there are the guys who aren't quite like the red pilled guy we promote, but also isn't in a relationship out of his control heading nowhere. They might be unaware of the things we talk about, but have parts of it as a naturally developed habit. It's the naturals, the guys who just get it but aren't aware of what they're doing right.

They stand a better chance of having a fulfilling relationship because they maintain control and they aren't hindered by the cynicism that typical red pill thought can bring. In red pill communities I see more negativity and hopelessness than I do in dudes who remain blissfully unaware, yet have healthy personal habits. They don't focus on blaming women in general when a problem arises, they rather just think that particular woman wasn't right for them and move on.

The red pill knowledge was never supposed to make men cynical, but sadly that's often what it leads to. It was intended to warn guys about the possible pitfalls in order to avoid them, guys who weren't aware of what they should look out for in women and how to handle it. This doesn't mean women are generally bad as it seems many express, it means some are bad and here's how to avoid it so you save yourself some grief. This in order to identify women who do not possess these bad traits, yet many seem hung up on the bad ones and remain blind to the good ones.

That's the burden of red pill knowledge. A burden which some men don't carry, while also having the good traits that it's supposed to give. So they kinda have the philosophy, but in a purer sense without being aware of it enough to define it as precisely as we do on this forum.

But of course, there is also a not insignificant amount of men who just settle in bad unfulfilling relationships and/or end up as doormats. So to be clear, I'm not denying that, just adding a bit of nuance.

While I generally agree with you I however feel you're left out an important point.

And that's leadership.

Focusing on women's traits (bad vs good) is unwise. You might get a good woman but she'll turn bad with a bad leader or you might get a bad woman but she'll turn into a good woman when she's with a good leader.

Thus it all boils down to leadership.

Know that a woman's level of femininity comes from the presence of masculinity and the level she's been exposed towards it.

The less feminine she is the more you as a man will fail with her. The man fails because he doesn't display sufficient masculine traits - of which leadership is part and parcel.

A man can be passive such as intellectuals or expressives and more inclined to be less "natural" as you put it but masculine traits is a learned trait.

The "naturals" are those men born with the inherent traits of a dominant personality such as motivators or doers, even those needs mentoring from young.

Yes they have the added advantage by virtually being born into it but it's no guarantee.

 

[Infern0]

I know a guy who doesn't really have much game but is happy in his relationship

his version of "happy" is being with a 6/10 and sitting on the couch watching netflix with her every night and getting fat.

But hey, she doesn't cheat on him and they don't argue that much, it works for him.

But i think most of us on here set our sights a lot higher than that

 

[Serenity]

While I generally agree with you I however feel you're left out an important point.

And that's leadership.

Focusing on women's traits (bad vs good) is unwise. You might get a good woman but she'll turn bad with a bad leader or you might get a bad woman but she'll turn into a good woman when she's with a good leader.

Thus it all boils down to leadership.

Know that a woman's level of femininity comes from the presence of masculinity and the level she's been exposed towards it.

The less feminine she is the more you as a man will fail with her. The man fails because he doesn't display sufficient masculine traits - of which leadership is part and parcel.

Thanks for adding that. Both personal leadership skills and selecting a good woman is important. He may also fail because the woman is a bad choice and no amount of leadership will help it or be worth the effort though. Your post makes it a bit easier for some guys to only blame themselves, while it's important to explore that option it's not always the case.

A man can be passive such as intellectuals or expressives and more inclined to be less "natural" as you put it but masculine traits is a learned trait.

I don't get what you're saying with this. Both expressives and intellectuals can be naturals in their way and project masculinity in different forms. Being masculine isn't one specific set of behaviors, it can be showed in many different ways.

The "naturals" are those men born with the inherent traits of a dominant personality such as motivators or doers, even those needs mentoring from young.

Yes they have the added advantage by virtually being born into it but it's no guarantee.

Honestly I think genes play a less significant role in this. What I meant was that they get their traits as they develop, through the people that surround them and the environment they're in. So they aren't born with it as much as they're born into it, they get a good set of parents and their social environment shapes them with good habits. Mostly unknowingly I'd say, very few people seem to be able to precisely understand how their childhood events made them the person they are today, both for good and bad. Sure, we have different personality traits, but that affects more the ways we express than it does our belief system.

 

[Serenity]

I think most normal people would never get cynical or even adopt the red pill mentality unless the majority of their experiences affirmed it.

Exactly! Which is why a large part of red pillers are cynical. The type of guy attracted to the red pill isn't exactly the guy who's already slaying pvssy left and right or just your average guy who's having just some success with women without much problems. The guys who come have often been rejected countless times because they do it wrong, have been unfortunate enough to be fvcked over by a BPD or otherwise had negative experiences with women. Of course many of these guys are bitter, some heal and some get lost in this stuff. I think many of those who heal simply move on and don't attach to the community, those who don't heal attach and stick around in the community and essentially make up a large part of it.

 

[Trump]

Thus it all boils down to leadership.

Know that a woman's level of femininity comes from the presence of masculinity and the level she's been exposed towards it.

The less feminine she is the more you as a man will fail with her. The man fails because he doesn't display sufficient masculine traits - of which leadership is part and parcel.

I don’t know about that. As Grewd said, you are blaming the man here.

Woman only care about a man’s utility. If the woman sees no use out of being associated with the man, his leadership will fall on deaf ears.

 

[Spaz]

Rather then quote both @Trump and @Grewd I'll just address it in this one post.

While you think my post is essentially blaming or shaming the man.

I on the other hand think my post would make a man greater should he accept it.

This is the difference in how we think.

There's always going to be this tension within a man, between what is and what it could be.

That's our nature and it's why civilizations exist as we know today.

Whilst you might think you are normal, that ur life now is normal but when confronted with another version of your life, one will erase the other.

It's inevitable.

The problem is for most men, diving into it, he has not been that other version to know the difference.

Side note: I've spoken at some length on just one of the passive personality (expressives) and not of the other yet (intellectuals). I will do so in another of my post.

As for the validity of it, I've correctly profiled not 1 but 3 people of which 2 has agreed to its accuracy and here are their names @Murkserious @flowtheory @LARaiders85 feel free to check with them.

I'll not write about the dominants as there's only 3 active motivators and no more then 5 doers.

 

[Serenity]

While you think my post is essentially blaming or shaming the man.

Well, I tried not framing it that way... I said some guys will take it that way, guys who would probably benefit from balancing their view in the other direction a bit. From my point of view you're right, you're just talking about one side of it.

I on the other hand think my post would make a man greater should he accept it.

Yes, unless excessive self-blame is his problem. To the types who blame too much on things they can't control, then absolutely.

The problem is for most men, diving into it, he has not been that other version to know the difference.

You're probably right about that. Isn't the case for me though, I've been through many versions and delved into some freaky corners of my mind. Brought me experiences I couldn't have imagined before all of it and wouldn't believe could happen had anyone told me. I do know that "normal" isn't a permanently defined state. I have absolutely no clue who I'll be in 10 years, just like I had no clue who I'd be today 10 years ago. I have forced a change, but it took years to bring the results I was looking for. Turns out it's a bit of a hassle when you deconstruct your entire identity and start over. I get why most men don't go anywhere near it, because it's scary as fvck.

 

[IKO69]

Because the situation isn't as bad as you've been led to believe by crooks who sell fear and make money off other men's insecurities...or just plain losers who can't hack it and want others to be in the same company. Misery loves company.

This is evidently clear when most guys as you mentioned never been on a forum like this/never heard of pua, yet still go out and pull. If you are normal, take pride in your appearance and aren't completely ugly, have things going on in your life, becoming successful isn't a terribly difficult ordeal so long as you put yourself out there.