How do non DJs get girls?

[trd323]

So a 1 in 2 chance to lose half your sh1t and pay some chick for sleeping with her?

And just because some one is married, doesn't mean they're happy.

YEah, 1 in 2 chance you lose your sh1t and 1 in 2 chance you dont. is that a bad statistic? Nothing in life is for certain and having an exactly 1 in 2 chance of success or failure seems normal to me. I live or die, girl is a b1tch or not a b1itch, i get the job or I dont, etc

Pay some chick to sleep with her? but we all do that. If you never pay and get sex i would like to know your secret. the only sure pay=lay is a hooker.

happy marriage is 1 in 2 chance. unhappy is 1 in 2 chance. I am just curious what a good statistic is for people to be happy to get married? just curious

 

[GQ_Confidence_1]

From my own experience, social skills, social awareness is what pulls girls.

-Big difference between an 18 year old guy, who lives in a screen based life (whether video games, tv, internet), with little to no outside social world or social awareness..

-And a 22 or 23 year old guy, who is much more socially aware, with more social cognition. Even if he only has 1 or 2 friends. As long as he's outside more...women pick up on that.

There's a "freshness" that women pick up on. It's more attractive. They intuitively know your social skills/confidence. That's worth more than a line or games if you dont have social skills/confidence.

When I was 18 or 20, I was definitely in the first camp. Say, you meet a girl from instant messenger for a coffee date. You dont really know the outside world very much, you dont have much confidence in the world...let alone a girl.

Like if she suddenly asked you to go to a concert afterwards, you wouldnt know what to do. You wouldn't know how to park, how to go there, you wouldnt have much confidence even buying the tickets. You wouldnt understand the crowd, you just dont have an ease. The fear of the girl is secondary to the fear of the "world".

Before I got into this stuff, I had no idea what I was doing. Would have stuttered, blushed, mind going blank, confusion.

My social skills have gotten vastly improved, and even if you dont have many friends, it doesnt really matter...you're on her level. Shes not attracted to you because of your friends...shes attracted because she finds you attractive.

Middle school, highschool really screws you up. I went to some junk schools. How you recover from bullying, school stress, teachers not caring about you...thats really the difference.

For me, I had to stop thinking there was something "wrong" all the time. Thats a horrible way to interact or meet with women. When I was around more outgoing/socially aware people...nothing was "wrong". Or when you go out to the beach or the mall, everyone is "normal" and theres nothing wrong.

-I think the issue for many guys is they just arent comfortable with the world/with going out by themselves.

I remember in the early 00's (maybe 01 or 02) before I got into this, Madonna was in concert, and I was thinking...man, wouldnt it be cool to take a girl there. But I wouldnt have known what to do. Or what was "Cool". Or, what if I liked a song that my date didnt? Or, what if she danced, and I didnt dance? Or, what if something happens, and we have to leave early. Or, what if there's no parking, and we have to walk 4 blocks. And a million questions. Of, course I never went.

But now, I'd be a million times more comfortable. None of that stuff matters. Shes not there because of your parking. There's not all these obstacles in your way.

 

[BlakeW5]

Straight-up? Because most average guys have no problem putting themselves out there and trying. I have a friend that anyone on this site would classify AFC yet he gets more a$$ (and from good looking chicks) than most on this site. Why? Just because he tries. I've seen him crash-and-burn when I called him out yet he still kept plodding along, and eventually he strikes gold.

I've been very successful with women yet for the life of me I can't bring myself to "cold" approach women. If you put me in a one-on-one (or close to one on one) situation with a girl I can promise she'll fall for me within 15 minutes. I've had extremely hot chicks fall for me. The problem is I can't initiate the interaction. If it's a chick at a party I get introduced to I can have sex with her in hours. If it's a hot chick, one I don't know, at Walmart or anywhere out in public I have a hard as hell time talking to her. The worst part..... I'm a good looking guy with game. I'm also a genius who can talk about anything and understand anything, yet I can't bring myself to approach unknown women.

The worst part of it is that I know it's only ME that's holding me back. There's no one or nothing else I can blame my problem on. I actually remember the first time I put myself out there and hit on a chick.... she digged it. Yet even still I have a hard time repeating that same behaviour.

UGGGGHHH, I've gotta get out and solve this problem before it drives me crazy. So yeah, my problem's social. I have the few shining moments when I can be an outgoing person, but 90% of the time I can't

 

[FutureSpartan]

trd323, jitterbug, and blake all have it down pat...average guys that get laid simply put themselves out there.

They don't care if they are not perfect looking or posses perfect seduction/DJ skills. Plenty of attractive women just want a normal laid back guy that will treat her decently. Average guys that get laid know this, and yeah they may get rejected a few times, but to them all they need is one "yes".

 

[Evzone]

So how are the remaining 90% of guys getting girlfriends/getting married? For me it's a damn near impossible task so what the hell are the other non-DJs doing that I aren't?

They lower their standards.

Don't.

 

[Apocalypse Now]

As someone else said, there are three types of dudes in the world:

Suave Guys, Average Guys, and Below Average Guys.


Suave Guys: DJs, Alphas, PUAs, whatever you want to call them. They have very good success with women because they know what women want, they know how to act, they have confidence, they're just experts at the game. Sometimes it's natural, other times they learn it. Probably 5% of the male population.

Average: They can get girlfriends, but it's inconsistent and most likely accidental. They probably aren't getting really hot girls, probably 7s and 8s, but I'm sure they do sometimes. It's mostly luck that they ever succeed with a girl, or the girl is dysfunctional and settles for him because she likes the security. The guy is usually incapable of keeping the girl happy, however, because she can only take so much nice guy before she cheats on him or leaves him. They are a majority of the guys out there.

Below Average: These are the guys with absolutely no social skills, self-esteem, or confidence. They very well may be ugly, obese, shy, etc. They are very common on the internet.

For me personally, I naturally progressed from Below Average to Average, and now I'm in between Average and Suave (I know the game, but haven't played it a lot yet).

 

[decadentdestruction]

You're talking about three totally different things :

Getting Girls
Getting Girlfriends
Getting Married

All different situations.

I'm not going to split the differences between all of them, but you should know that there are indeed more women on this planet than men, so naturally even men who 'can't get women' are getting married constantly.

Hence a small reason (but still one) why women tend to cheat on men who aren't as good as them. Women get shacked up with men who don't know jack about women, only for personal and financial security. It's sad, but it happens every day.

There's really no trick to why these guys are getting married to women; it's essential to a lot of women to have a partner, whether they are attracted to him or not.

word on that ... much agree.

 

[mothballs]

Guy sees girl, gets nervous and cant think straight, but some how some way when the planets align he gets up starts walking towards her with sweaty ass palms, and says hello
Girl: Hi
Guy: hi, blah blah blah
Girl: he seems nice, and sincere, with no BS. lets talk to him more and find out
Guy: I like your dress its pretty, blah blah blah
Girl: That seemed like a sincere compliment and not some sleazy or weak pick up line, maybe he is honest
Guy: Bla blah blah
Girl: Ok he is sincere, honest, and no BS. If he asks I will say yes
Guy: Uhhhhhmmmmm, can i have your number
Girl: Sure

They live happily ever after. Its that simple. NO BS and all sincere, but definately not weak. Its been going on ever since this "community" existed and still that have never heard of the "community" still get married everyday. Maybe at 50%, but its toss of a coin chance at a happy ending. Go out there and be yourselves, you guys already know how to be the cool as guy.

This is a pretty good summation. I can't say that I'm particularly slick, I am a former AFC and probably just a normal guy at this point... but I knew the current girl I'm seeing was something special and different from the moment I met her... so I made the decision right then and there that I was done being single. I got her number and called her up and asked her to coffee. I gave her a few compliments here and there, teased her a little, made her laugh a lot and we've been having a great time ever since. I always thought it would be awkward to go on a virtual blind date, but it was a lot easier once I sat down across from her. There were some short pauses while we collected our thoughts at first, but now, after a couple long dates (17 hrs total) conversation just flows... I'll have known her for a month this Saturday when we get together again... and judging by the makeout session last time I'd say there's a good chance my dry spell is soon to be over... but hell if we just stay where we are for a couple weeks that's cool with me. All I really had to do with this girl is be a gentleman and be myself without getting stepped on... and show her that I could take control in making the first move.

And FWIW my plans to keep her will be an unpredictable regiment of flowers, well deserving compliments and exemplary skills in kissing and in the bedroom... it's not that hard to be good, it just takes practice and willingness to read her body.

 

[Leporello]

The average American man sleeps with 7 women in his lifetime. Cut out the top 10% and it goes down to about 3 or 4. Consider that; if the average guy loses his virginity at 18, that's one girl every two or three years until he gets married.

There's a play called 'Hedda Gabler' by Henrik Ibsen in which a girl everyone was after marries an AFC guy. When someone asks her why, she says something to the effect of:

"Why not? he's devoted, faithful. He makes a good living. there's nothing really ridiculous about him. He's the picture of respectability"

(the character is fvcked up in a number of ways, but I think the above statement is true for alotffo people).

On the other end, consider that most women are relatively unattractive, directionless, no personality etc - just like guys. Sure, in the teens/20s hormones can guarantee them some attention, but not much and not for long - so they settle out of fear or because they lower their standards.

 

[BondageNick]

Hmm, I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure this is how:

1. Tell her you are a magician and ask her to put on handcuffs
2. Put her in your car
3. Drug her with chloroform
4. ???
5. SEXY TIME