How do men in LTR’s cope

[Murk]

With always wanting new/different women?

Is it just an internal battle of integrity? Can you really find a women that you only have eyes for and ignore the rest of them, forever?

I think you just have to be strong and mature, there are way too many attractive women to ever truly be content just banging one. But I believe we have to forego our carnal instincts of lust. We have to be men of morals and forthright conviction.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

People have been dealing with this issue for centuries.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I think you just have to be strong and mature, there are way too many attractive women to ever truly be content just banging one. But I believe we have to forego our carnal instincts of lust. We have to be men of morals and forthright conviction.

You answered your own post with this statement. With maturity and discipline, you learn to pick better partners to be in LTRs with and you learn that the juice is not worth the squeeze if you are already in a good relationship. The urge to try new women will ALWAYS be there, but it is not that bad because you will rarely be in situations where hot women just offer to fvck you right then and there for little work & investment. When you can turn down those situations easily then please make a topic for us on how you did so lol. Otherwise, unless you are pursuing low quality women or constantly in atmospheres where casual hookups are an occurrence, most women are going to require some money and time investment before they offer sex to you. Unless you are looking to monkey branch out of the relationship, most men aren't going to put up with this mess. When you can turn down those situations easily then please make a topic for us on how you did so lol.

 

[Hal9000]

You deal with it the same way you deal with not eating doughnuts every day or driving 100 mph. Self control.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Mistresses

Its crazy but its actually EASIER to get girls when you are in a relationship / married

I think its a bit of a female fetish seducing another woman's man and " winning him" off her

If you look back at the 50's 60's and 70's it was VERY common for a married man to have several mistresses whom would satisfy him whilst the wife was at home looking after the kids

It was all hush hush and strictly business no social media to expose

everyones happy

its no secret that once you marry a woman she loses a bit of her sexual allure , once she bears children it tends to go off a cliff and after the menopause you will be lucky to get it once a year

No man can honestly say he is content with that haha

Most of the simping and pay to play that goes on today comes from SEX STARVED MIDDLE AGED MARRIED MEN

 

[The Duke]

When you date enough hot girls and realize most are messed up but you get lucky with one that's solid. This was it for me. Do you want to go back and deal with the drama or stick with a solid one. Those solid hot girls are super rare. The goal is to find the hottest girl with the best brain. You need to have perspective to help you realize what you have and help keep you on the straight and narrow path.

You also need to have nothing left to prove to yourself.

 

[CornbreadFed]

When you date enough hot girls and realize most are messed up but you get lucky with one that's solid. This was it for me. Do you want to go back and deal with the drama or stick with a solid one. Those solid hot girls are super rare. The goal is to find the hottest girl with the best brain. You need to have perspective to help you realize what you have and help keep you on the straight and narrow path.

You also need to have nothing left to prove to yourself.

this

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

If you find an attractive girl with these qualities you won't want to look elsewhere. Good luck finding them though, they're rare.

feminine
submissive
agreeable
kind, supportive, encouraging
willing to make sacrifices and compromises
respects boundaries
doesn't test you and play mind games
comes from a good family with good values
doesn't stay in contact with exes and male friends
doesn't have single hoe friends
low body count

 

[Serenity]

So, I've been in a relationship for 8 years now, married half that time. Attraction just occurs, that never goes away I think. So how do I cope?

Well, what I have cannot be easily or quickly replaced and I really appreciate what I have. A deep level of intimacy, trust and companionship built over 8 years. Would I want to lose it all just for some novel pvssy? Would it be worth it to abandon all of that? If I'd want it back I would be back at square one, doing the dating stuff all over again, hoping to find a good woman and then spend another 8 years bulding up the relationship to the same level.

Getting pvssy is easy, give me a couple of nights out and I'll get it. Having a really good relationship to a woman who meets my demands doesn't come so easy.

Whenever the temptation arises I remind myself of the price and every time it's far from worth it. So it's not really coping as much as it's weighing my options, understanding the consequences and choosing the best one.

If this marriage was bad or ever turned bad it would be a different story. Fvck morals and forthright conviction, many men have stayed in painful relationships for decades because of such reasoning. If it's good, you're a fool to trade that long term happiness for short term pleasure. If it's persistently bad, you're a fool for staying instead of cutting your losses and finding something better.

To me it's not so much a battle of integrity, it's just about continuously making the rational choice.

 

[parabellum]

Morals are flexible. For me, keeping the good girl, provide it you found it in your early 20s, check the boxes and had/will soon have your children, and being faithful to her, is nothing more than a convenient everyday choice.

The 99% of the rest of women, I’d say meh, have sex on the side if you don’t feel satisfied. Or leave and find something else. Whatever is more convenient.

 

[Gamisch]

The interesting thing is that the man who dgaf about these moral viewpoints, still get the most play.

Whenever I hear something like this I think about the 63% of men who didn't date last year. That means your question is somewhat aimed at the other 37% . Plenty of men from this group who'd actually give in to temptation. Makes sense, if women " don't mind "sharing a top tier man. Or I'd say, prefer such a man over the other 63% who're available.

Basically, if we're being honest, a lot of men are sincerely content whenever the feel like the kind of hit the lottery. Unfortunately the opposite sex has different ways of looking at life, hence why it's mostly women losing feelings and initiating the break up.

A man needs to have this urge to get and /or be attractive to other women in order to keep his current woman on her toes. The man who is "completely happy and never wants to have another woman " ironically is also the man who will lose his woman. We see it happening all the time..

 

[CornbreadFed]

Long but relatable video

 

[Westminster]

Mistresses

Its crazy but its actually EASIER to get girls when you are in a relationship / married

I think its a bit of a female fetish seducing another woman's man and " winning him" off her

If you look back at the 50's 60's and 70's it was VERY common for a married man to have several mistresses whom would satisfy him whilst the wife was at home looking after the kids

It was all hush hush and strictly business no social media to expose

everyones happy

its no secret that once you marry a woman she loses a bit of her sexual allure , once she bears children it tends to go off a cliff and after the menopause you will be lucky to get it once a year

No man can honestly say he is content with that haha

Most of the simping and pay to play that goes on today comes from SEX STARVED MIDDLE AGED MARRIED MEN

Great post, spot on.

Its much more difficult to have a traditional 'Mistress' nowadays. In the 70s and 80s, maybe up to the 90s you could run almost parallel lives but social media, mobile phones and technology has stymied that sort of lifestyle for most married guys.

Yet another way that social media has worked against men. But changes in the labor market are also to blame as well.

 

[Serenity]

Long but relatable video

I just bothered to watch 10 mins, but I couldn't agree more with this guy. Very relatable.

 

[Learning Curve]

With always wanting new/different women?

Is it just an internal battle of integrity? Can you really find a women that you only have eyes for and ignore the rest of them, forever?

I think you just have to be strong and mature, there are way too many attractive women to ever truly be content just banging one. But I believe we have to forego our carnal instincts of lust. We have to be men of morals and forthright conviction.

This always falls into your integrity and the women you have around you.

If your woman fully satisfies you in bed and makes all your crazy wishes come true you have no reason to look around. Especially if you have chemistry and you respect her.

Personally i would never risk a good woman for a quick s3x of looking around. Because finding one again takes time and research.

That's when your inner self-discipline as a man comes in and your overview of the world.

Good woman that supports you, your kids, and your family is hard to find. If you do find her keep her.

That's my personal core belief. And it's not that I'm into LTR like a maniac.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Great post, spot on.

Its much more difficult to have a traditional 'Mistress' nowadays. In the 70s and 80s, maybe up to the 90s you could run almost parallel lives but social media, mobile phones and technology has stymied that sort of lifestyle for most married guys.

Yet another way that social media has worked against men. But changes in the labor market are also to blame as well.

Now your traditional mistress can easily blackmail you through social media.

 

[CornbreadFed]

A man needs to have this urge to get and /or be attractive to other women in order to keep his current woman on her toes. The man who is "completely happy and never wants to have another woman " ironically is also the man who will lose his woman. We see it happening all the time..

scarcity mindset is the worst thing a man can have. The difference between us and scarcity guys is that we know we can eventually replace her, but don’t want to go through the effort while the other guy views her as a unicorn. Also, when you invest more resources and experiences with your woman, she feels the same way too.

 

[Barrister]

With always wanting new/different women?

Is it just an internal battle of integrity? Can you really find a women that you only have eyes for and ignore the rest of them, forever?

I think you just have to be strong and mature, there are way too many attractive women to ever truly be content just banging one. But I believe we have to forego our carnal instincts of lust. We have to be men of morals and forthright conviction.

Howie already nailed this so I am just repeating what he said, but once you realize that all women, and especially the hottest ones, are crazy to some extent, you realize that the grass isn't always greener. Once you get into a relationship that checks enough boxes (never all the boxes because that just doesn't happen), you realize that you likely aren't going to have a better situation. Minimums for me is she maintains her physical looks, gives frequent sex, and overall wants to take care of me and my children.

Biologically, we are programmed to WANT more pvssy than just one. And yes, when you are in an LTR and you have even a slightly attractive woman (HB 6+) making it clear she wants to hop into bed with you, it can be difficult to resist that. But it is easily doable with a little bit of self-control. This isn't something that is going to keep you up at night.

 

[SW15]

Biologically, we are programmed to WANT more pvssy than just one. And yes, when you are in an LTR and you have even a slightly attractive woman (HB 6+) making it clear she wants to hop into bed with you, it can be difficult to resist that. But it is easily doable with a little bit of self-control. This isn't something that is going to keep you up at night.

If a man can get multiple pussies, then he's going to feel confined by his LTR. A good portion of men in LTRs would go without sex for an extended period of time without an LTR. These aren't the types of men who feel confined in an LTR. Many men are pussie beggars and will accept any LTR, even with subpar women, just to avoid incel status.

 

[CornbreadFed]

If a man can get multiple pussies, then he's going to feel confined by his LTR. A good portion of men in LTRs would go without sex for an extended period of time without an LTR. These aren't the types of men who feel confined in an LTR. Many men are pussie beggars and will accept any LTR, even with subpar women, just to avoid incel status.

Depends on the stage and maturity of the guy. In my twenties, I wouldn't know what a good relationship or bad relationship was, but I knew what fresh pvssy was. Now that I have been through enough toxic relationships and burned out of the dating scene, I know the juice is not worth the squeeze.