How do I tell her without being a d*uche?

[The LadyKiller]

There is a HB9 who I work with (yes, I know the workplace risks, that isn't relevant for the thread). While she has a great personality, kinos heavily and tells me a lot of very personal details about herself, she is starting to annoy me.

On some days, she is great and we hang out. On other days, she'll only contact me when she is curious about something she already knows the answer to (ex. she asks me what her work schedule for that day). It gets old quickly because I think she just wants attention in these cases.

Anyway, to the point of the thread. How do I tell her that I'm not putting up with the stupid games anymore without sounding like a complete d*uche? I know she will be contacting me again soon for some made-up reason. However, she recently went through a family tragedy and somehow I've become one of the only people she can trust, which is a rapid promotion from, as I'll put it, "guy she recently met".

When she's being normal, she's great. She gives me some nice social proof in a workplace that has hundreds of 20-somethings. But when this other version of her shows up, I get irked because I feel she just wants the attention.

 

[XY.]

There is a HB9 who tells me a lot of very personal details about herself, she is starting to annoy me.

Strike while the iron is hot. If she continues to unload all her emotional baggage onto you w/o giving you any play(think baseball) then you will inevitably become her emotional tampon

O On other days, she'll only contact me when she is curious about something she already knows the answer to (ex. she asks me what her work schedule for that day). It gets old quickly because I think she just wants attention in these cases.

Wrong. She is providing you with the opportunity to lead

How do I tell her that I'm not putting up with the stupid games anymore without sounding like a complete d*uche?

Smirk

But when this other version of her shows up, I get irked because I feel she just wants the attention.

The more you bang, the less you have to put up with

 

[TheException]

On other days, she'll only contact me when she is curious about something she already knows the answer to (ex. she asks me what her work schedule for that day). It gets old quickly because I think she just wants attention in these cases.

On my first read through I thought it was a typical AW case....but ive changed my mind. Sounds like she is contacting you "just to talk to you". If you find it annoying, quit treating her texts so serious. Respond with humor and change the subject and get to setting up dates.

HB: Whats my work schedule for the week?
Me: You mean they let women out of the kitchen these days?

Defining factor in this case: Your sexual escalation. If you guys have been physically involved with one another then she is interested in just randomly talking to you which is normal. Take these opportunities to set up dates. IF YOU HAVENT sexually escalated with her....could very well be AW just seeking your attention.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Either start f*cking her or stop giving a sh!t.

That is the solution to 99% of new relationship "problems" men have. If you want to f*ck her then do it. If you don't then why are to talking to her? :crackup: :crackup:

Giving women the option of a relationship/friendship with you WITHOUT making it clear she will need to spread her legs in the near future to keep you around is an easy ticket to the friend zone.

 

[TheGambino]

I think PlayHer Man is 100% right in this case. follow that up, dont change drasticly but in a week so you don't confuse her and make it too clear that all you want is sex, but begin solid and show her in a time period of a week or two weeks that you have sexual interest by flirting more often using more kino, pushpull and asking her to date. if u get the green light to take any actions GO for it without hesitation.

 

[Bizzle13]

I might be wrong here but I think the OP is looking to this girl as a friend, so the advice of escalating etc probably isn't what he's looking for (just my interpretation lol). If you are looking for advice for dealing with this girl as a friend, for social proof amongst other things, then simply let her know you've got your own sh*t going on as politely as possible; "I'll get back to you a little later, got some family stuff to sort right now", "kind of busy right now, meet up later? 'I' could use some advice" etc switch the emphasis to you sometimes, just not all the time. Friends can be the most annoying people in your life at times but if they're good friends it's worth putting up with their sh*t occasionally

 

[The LadyKiller]

Interesting. Maybe she's not only looking for attention after all. I haven't known her for very long, so it will be a good chance to escalate things.

Bizzle - she is a HB I'd want to date. The reason I am "annoyed" is because I did not want her to be another AW.

 

[Uncharted]

she is a HB I'd want to date.

You work together, so usual warnings apply.

Have you asked her out? If not you need to ask her out, get her alone, escalate.

Also start dating other girls. You're worrying too much about a girl you haven't hooked up with yet.

 

[The LadyKiller]

You work together, so usual warnings apply.

Have you asked her out? If not you need to ask her out, get her alone, escalate.

Also start dating other girls. You're worrying too much about a girl you haven't hooked up with yet.

I asked her out yesterday, she was very enthused about it. Once our work schedules line up - we work some extreme hours that often vary, it's on like donkey kong.

As you said Uncharted, I'm talking to other girls as well. Good to have some plates.

 

[Uncharted]

Remember.. date, isolate, escalate, sex, repeat.

If it doesn't work with this one try with another.