How do I take my mind off a girl?

[ztas]

Hi all

in total love with a woman (long distance relationship). However I do realise that my moods are so dependent on how she has talked to me on a particular day.

If I just hear her for a minute saying that she Loves Me, or misses me, I can feel my entire spirit lift. That lasts for at least a day!

However recently, for some reason or the other (she claims she is just so busy with house-guests, and her child's studies), her calls have become far less frequent.

I keep thinking whether I should end the relationship, though I'm scared of bringing it up with her. Perhaps I'm afraid she'll readily agree :-(

WE've been together for around 18 months and I still see much life in the relationship, though that might be just my male hope!!!

Q: How do I resist ringing her or SMSing her as I know it is starting to irritate her.

Q: What are some tips to reduce my thinking of her all the time?

I'm working full-time in a primarily desk-based job so my mind often wanders towards her. This happens when I haven't heard from her for a while and/or when the conversation hasn't been 'romantic'...

Thank you in advance


cheers

Z

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Meet other women..

Sad as it is to say that to you, because I'm sure that you're infatuated with this woman...but experience has told me that in many instances...YOUR GUT FEELING IS ALWAYS CORRECT.

If you feel that she is slipping, that there's someone else in the picture, or that she's losing interest...chances are that she is.

I know its not what you want to hear...IMO...I couldn't get into a long distance relationship because there are too many outside factors that can easily ruin it. Other than military families, I rarely see long distance relationships work..

My biggest advice...for any man in a relationship, long term, short term, any type...always keep meeting new people. Whether it be potential women, friends, or the such. Often too many times we get into relationships and become sheltered from other people. The best way to get her off your mind is to keep busy with work, enjoy a new hobby (ie hit the gym), and meet new people (men, women, young, and old).

 

[CLOONEY]

Good advice. Although definately meet new woman and keep them on the side, woman do it all the time. As far as the LDR, I have had one also for a year or so, ended up in failure! I wouldnt bother if I was you. Wait until you are both finished your studies or whatever you are doing, and see if one day you can live in the same area and make things work. For now, you have to move on! That is my honest opinion.

 

[MrHarris]

For god's sake read the bible and start a personal boot camp. Jesus ********* It's really not all that hard. Come on people!

This will save questions like this from being asked!

 

[NewMan]

* Trust you instincts

* You are to needy. If a woman were calling me and acting like you are - I'd find someone else.

* you've got to use the concept of backup women. You should ALWAYS have options available to you.

* Stop calling her today.

* If your not fullfilled with your job, get another. your spending to much time daydreaming.

 

[Ricky]

This sounds just like me to a freaking tee. I never went so AFC before this long distance girl. I was DJing girls left and right. In fact the day I first visited my LDR girl several months ago I had 3 girls calling me that same day!

I fell in love with her. I like you hung on her every word and conversation.

She just broke up with me last weekend when she came to visit me (read some of my other posts)

I sincerely hope this doesn't happen to you. If you can get the spirit up to do it, talking to other girls certainly helps.

I was powerless. For once in my life, I lost interest in other girls because I loved that girl so much. It was insane.

 

[pancakepalace]

Hi,

I am in a similar situation although it hasn't been so long (3 months). I realized this week that my mood depends on her a lot and I don't like it either.

I feel a bit better now, because I basically stopped having expectations. As far as holding back the messaging and emails, I think you should try contacting her 70% of the time she contacts you. This will make you more of a challenge.

Also, one thing I noticed about us is that we had settled into a certain groove. Calling and emailing and messaging at certain times and intervals. I am working on breaking this up a bit. I think a call placed at a surprising moment can be worth 3 predicatable calls.

I should probably be on the lookout for other girls also.

Good luck.

 

[ztas]

hi guys

thanks for the advice so far...

I guess I had contemplated breaking it off with her, but at the same time am wary of losing something special.

A while back I read that article on here somewhere about the 'rubber-band' technique of push/pull. Does anyone know where it is?

I definetely won't be ringing until I hear from her!

cheers

Ztas

 

[Ricky]

Push pull kind of refers to being very nice to her than withdrawing.

It throws her for a loop and keeps the interest high!

I just wish I had done more of that with the girl that recently became my ex!

But now we talk and I'm ****y and funny with her. That **** really seems to work.

 

[penkitten]

certainly dont call her
thats a start

 

[Ricky]

Guys and Penkitten.

It just sucks to have to feel like you have to play this game with girls.

I mean it really sucks when a girl starts withdrawing.

I might be a bit AFC from time to time but I feel like this shouldn't happen to me all the time.

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

Yeah, I can identify with this one. I've had oneitis more than once, and found her whims essentially controlling my emotions. It s&cks. How I got over it was by becoming better friends with my female coworkers. When I would catch myself with tunnel vision for her, I'd find some reason to chat with one of the girls at work. This seemed to work well because I realized that the girls at work responded better to me when I was in a oneitis state of mind for some reason. I'd feel better after joking around with them, then go back to my office with a different mindset.

 

[tatlongxxx]

maybe she wants something else for you to do?

but it was different with my ex. she met a replacement that will agree with her depression experience, luckily she found one. she like his looks, i dont know why. he is a mysterious person to her because he hate God. And you know what this guy told to my ex, the reality in life is to have depression, to live with problems that he cannot accept and solved.

one more thing and truly sucks, she is ****ing her brother. she likes it. She always want to be flirt by her brother by grabbing her ass and so on..... you know why i'm telling this, because i caught them in the act

i cannot forget the experience of being cheated... so sucks i cannot believe what she has done to me. i can never forgive her.

 

[phillyb]

beat off:woo: