How do I play this best

[user252009]

We've been building energy, rapport and talking more and more over these few weeks (over socials, not so much at work), so far so good. Can't wait to ask her out and (hopefully) spend more time in a non-work environment

 

[Rainman4707]

No, don't **** where you eat. Plenty other girls out there. Just a case of waiting til one comes along. They are like buses...none for a while...then they all come at once.

 

[user252009]

No, don't **** where you eat. Plenty other girls out there. Just a case of waiting til one comes along. They are like buses...none for a while...then they all come at once.

You haven’t read anything above, did you? She’s leaving the company in a few weeks.

 

[jimwho]

She 100% already knows that you like her. A girl only has to look in your eyes to know you want to get all up in that. With that said, It's good that she has initiated contact. Tells me she already likes you and she knows your not a creeper. You already know her so just ask her to be your date and be done with it. Its a win win.

It's ok to have a office romance because you know she's leaving. She won't be there long enough for it to matter if it implodes. Or she says NO and since she's a woman will be flattered and Then there's the good chance she contacts you later after she's left "to return your sweater". Just tell her you want to go see Top-Gun and annoy her eating popcorn in her ear at the movies. Next Friday. Luck

 

[Rainman4707]

You haven’t read anything above, did you? She’s leaving the company in a few weeks.

You wrote few month

 

[MtmVaott]

We've been building energy, rapport and talking more and more over these few weeks (over socials, not so much at work), so far so good. Can't wait to ask her out and (hopefully) spend more time in a non-work environment

It's a bit early for the 'we', don't you think?
You are invested what she thinks about you (she has control over you and you react to her moods), but you are supposed to evaluate how good she fits you and be you. Or, because she leaves in some weeks anyway, heavily show sexual desire and fvck her at the toilet during a company get-together. You are doing neither, so I'm afraid this ends humiliating.

 

[user252009]

It's a bit early for the 'we', don't you think?
You are invested what she thinks about you (she has control over you and you react to her moods), but you are supposed to evaluate how good she fits you and be you. Or, because she leaves in some weeks anyway, heavily show sexual desire and fvck her at the toilet during a company get-together. You are doing neither, so I'm afraid this ends humiliating.

Except you know nothing about the circumstances of the work environment we're both in and are speculating. My work is far too important and the circle there is super small, too small for me to risk anything while she's still working there. Just a few weeks left.

 

[user252009]

You wrote few month

Have you checked when I wrote that? It's weeks now.

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

A hot coworker I kinda have a crush on is leaving in a few months and there's always energy between us; she also started following me on IG and interacts with me there sometimes, but we haven't hung out outside of work yet. If you were in my situation, would you pull any moves while she's still working at the company or you'd wait until she's out?

Because she is leaving you can push it a little. Organise a night out with coworkers.. Her and others. Then at least you can hang out outside of work and gain a better vibe.

 

[user252009]

Because she is leaving you can push it a little. Organise a night out with coworkers.. Her and others. Then at least you can hang out outside of work and gain a better vibe.

Nah, hung out with coworkers too much this past month, don’t have time as I have other obligations anyways

 

[user252009]

It’s weird, she’s lately posting a lot more on IG, usually being one of the first to watch my stories and react to them, but when we chat, she tends to give short responses and never asks me any questions. She’s leaving in a bit so I guess we’ll see then, when I ask her out, whether it’s all just attention seeking or if there’s some interest there afterall.

 

[user252009]

Well, I was shocked today to learn that she is not leaving but rather moving to a different department. Had the whole thing planned on asking her out etc, but all that is now out the window. Now what? Also, all the guys that said I should have shoot my shot, I’d be positively ****ed if I had done so, so I’m glad I didn’t listen to most of y’all’s advice and went with the rational option.

 

[The Diver]

Well, I was shocked today to learn that she is not leaving but rather moving to a different department. Had the whole thing planned on asking her out etc, but all that is now out the window. Now what? Also, all the guys that said I should have shoot my shot, I’d be positively ****ed if I had done so, so I’m glad I didn’t listen to most of y’all’s advice and went with the rational option.

Pooof, now you can breathe.
You're F ridiculous. Million excuses to justify your fear of rejection and nothing else.

I'll tell you a different scenario other than the nuclear scenario that's running in your head:

You talk with her about something, and then
straight up confidently and assertively, you say: " let's have a drink after work. "

One scenario : She: "Yes, I would love to."

Second scenario: "Sorry, but it's not a good idea" (or any other excuses). Done!

Women appreciate and respect confidence, assertiveness, and boldness, even if they reject you.
Simple, without all the drama running in your head.

F months of brain gymnastics about a simple short question.

 

[user252009]

One scenario : She: "Yes, I would love to."
Second scenario: "Sorry, but it's not a good idea" (or any other excuses). Done!

First scenario: happens more often than not (actually like 95% of the time, so statistic wise odds are against me)
Second scenario: word gets around coworkers and I have to work in that environment, where this job is pretty much the only thing keeping me in the country where I currently live

 

[MtmVaott]

3 months since you made this thread, 3 months you could have had time to focus on meeting someone outside of the job minefield.

I give you a third scenario: She hands you an opportunity to suggest a date in a casual way on a plate.
But she didn't do it yet I assume, and that means one thing: Not interested enough to risk her own a$$. You wouldn't have done yourself a favour if you would have asked her out, given the job environment.

 

[DonJuanjr]

If someone would make fun of me for asking out a girl I, couldn‘t take it seriously. At least I had the courage to do it.

I can see where he's coming from though. Get rejected by enough females around work, then all of a sudden you're, "that loser who asks out every girl"... Wouldn't this be the inverse of social proof?

 

[The Diver]

(actually like 95% of the time, so statistic wise odds are against me)

As I said, excuse and mental gymnastic.

word gets around coworkers, and I have to work in that environment,

What word gets around that you have a ball asking a girl out?

You ask, and if the answer is negative, you say, "All good, no hard feelings," and you stay friendly.

 

[bat soup]

A hot coworker I kinda have a crush on is leaving in a few months and there's always energy between us; she also started following me on IG and interacts with me there sometimes, but we haven't hung out outside of work yet. If you were in my situation, would you pull any moves while she's still working at the company or you'd wait until she's out?

I'd wait until she was at least 100m away from the company building before jumping out of a bush.

 

[Canadian_Man]

I've waited too long a few times to ask a woman out like this.

There's basically an expiration date on this.

 

[user252009]

We got a good vibe going now, will ask her out before I fly for vacation in two weeks