How do I pick up these girls in college summer semester?

[Maxtro]

you have absolutely ZERO confidence, and it shows with the way you talk about yourself in this thread!

Why do you think of yourself as some loser who could POSSIBLY get lucky and get a number, but most likely will just get rejected???

WHY do you feel this way about YOURSELF???

It's time to step up and be honest already.........when you think about a girl actually being physically attracted to you, you probly laugh it off and say "no way she likes me physically, but maybe i'll run some game and not sound like a loser and i'll have a chance".............is this how you think when it comes to trying to seduce girls??

Sadly, you're exactly right. Despite trying to look my best, I don't expect any girls to be physically attracted to me. Being white and only 5'6 has been a huge contributor. I don't know how else to think.

If I were you, I would do some serious heavy training for 6 months or so.

You need to FEEL like you are da man, before you get any positive results........trust me on that, real life experience speaks here!!!

I've been working out off and on since March of last year, and doing it seriously since January of this year. I'm keeping track of my progress and how much weight I put on.

In about 5 months I'm going to hit my bulking goal of 170 then I'm going to start cutting till I get around 12% BF. Getting 'huge' should really boost up my confidence and at least let girls think that despite me being short, I'm at least strong an can 'protect them.'

Right now, the ****y mentally seems like an impossibility.

 

[Rescue Mission]

Sadly, you're exactly right. Despite trying to look my best, I don't expect any girls to be physically attracted to me. Being white and only 5'6 has been a huge contributor. I don't know how else to think.



I've been working out off and on since March of last year, and doing it seriously since January of this year. I'm keeping track of my progress and how much weight I put on.

In about 5 months I'm going to hit my bulking goal of 170 then I'm going to start cutting till I get around 12% BF. Getting 'huge' should really boost up my confidence and at least let girls think that despite me being short, I'm at least strong an can 'protect them.'

Right now, the ****y mentally seems like an impossibility.

Just so you know, we just figured out your EXACT problem.........you don't think girls will find you physically attractive.....and OF COURSE your confidence will be close to zero if that's the case!!

You need to make your improvement in appearance a #1 priority.........stop talking to friends, stop talking to girls, stop EVERYTHING and focus every ounce of energy you have on having a good lean body that YOU KNOW girls would get turned on by if they were to ever see u naked.........you don't get this, but this will help you ALOT when it comes to even having the confidence to try to hook up with girls.......you will start to think "I want to make this girl lucky enough to see me without my shirt on".............and at the same time, go shopping with a HOT CHICK....hire an escort if you have to

YES

An ESCORT..........escorts can be more than just about sex........they can be about blunt honest female company...........if you have some spare $$, and you can't find a hot chick, PAY some hot chick to go shopping with you and tell you how you should be dressing to attract women (don't do this till you get the body that makes you ooze with confidence though!!!)

If you don't wanna pay a hot chick for that kind of thing, then you could always just go out on your own, and take notes on guys that you see are with the hottest girls........what are they wearing? How are they wearing it? How do they walk??

And there is NOTHING wrong with copying other guys, if the end result is YOU GETTING LOTS OF PVSSY!!!!

 

[Maxtro]

The problem is that I need to bulk up before I get lean or else I'd just look small. At my height I can't look small.

Good idea about shopping with a chick. I'm pretty broke until I can get some new student loans in September so I'm stuck with what I got.

Here's a recent picture of me for the heck of it. I realized the both the shirt and the jeans are too big a while ago. 99% of the time I'm wearing shorts since it's hot in SoCal.

 

[Rescue Mission]

The problem is that I need to bulk up before I get lean or else I'd just look small. At my height I can't look small.

Good idea about shopping with a chick. I'm pretty broke until I can get some new student loans in September so I'm stuck with what I got.

Here's a recent picture of me for the heck of it. I realized the both the shirt and the jeans are too big a while ago. 99% of the time I'm wearing shorts since it's hot in SoCal.

you need to get those shoulders much bigger.........I actually like your fashion sense in that photo, but its hart to pull it off with your CURRENT body.

I want you to be able to wear that same exact outfit and look like THIS:

http://www.sojones.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/vinny.jpg

You are wearing practically the same shirt as the pic I showed you, but the guy in it has bigger arms, and wider shoulders........and you can also tell that he's confident despite that stupid looking smile on his face......i mean, that is Vinny from the Jersey Shore, an italian guy who dresses well and looks good overall body-wise............get your body to his form, and your confidence will rise SIGNIFICANTLY.

 

[Scion]

I can personally understand why maxtro has no confidence. There's no way in hell you can build confidence at something you suck at. Let's say you were a quarterback and you couldn't throw a ball 10 feet, would you be confident about your football skills? Oh course not. Well if you've failed with women your entire life you won't be confident with women. You could always try and fake it, but we all know ppl can see through it. I'm not sure how I became more confident with women, I think it happened after I hit rock bottom. Hasn't helped me too much so far but I've noticed women have stopped taking advantage of me.

 

[Kailex]

Thanks for the posts guys.

I've basically had what amounted to one 5 minute conversation with each girl. I really don't see how anybody can get a phone number in a situation like that. I will work on doing that soon.

Max... look through a LOT of approach journals here in SoSuave, I think tihash is one of them with a LOT of cold approaches. Yes, it's a cold approach and he won't have to see her again, but you approach with reckless abandon. You don't need 45 minutes of total face time to THEN get a number. There is NO correct template for this.

In fact, the sooner you ask for the number, the sooner you KNOW whether they are attracted to you or not.

And remember, we ALWAYS assume attraction at first glance.

You need to get over this mentality of:

Step #1 - Do this first
Step #2 - Do this second

There is no set template for this. You move in... and as Judge Nismo's signature says: Strike while the iron is hot.

The longer you take to try to establish a conversation, is the more time you are building comfort and NOTHING ELSE.

My whole point of talking to them is to get to the point where I can ask them out. If I pull the trigger so to speak, too soon and without enough preparation, I'll miss my one and only shot. Three targets, three shots.

These are NOT the last women in the universe. You say this like the world depended on it. If you miss three times, then you miss.

That's all there is to it.

The problem with you is that the longer you take... the more I'll begin to see this from you:

"I only have a week left, what do I DO!?!?"

In your mind you'll build up scenarios where they accept you or reject you without actually putting in any work.

All it takes is to say:

"Hey, I was thinking I'd like to grab a quick coffee with you some time, you should give me your number."

That's it. There are of course simpler ways, but it lays it all out there. I would love to say that you should just ask them to your apartment but I don't want to skip logical steps because of who you are and at what point you are at.

One thing for sure is that I'm moving a hell of a lot quicker with these girls then I have ever done before. Last time I got rejected it took me three months, where I saw the girl 4 times a week. Now this time, we've had only 4 class meetings. It's a completely new pace from me.

And you're still not going fast enough. You have to train yourself to act IMMEDIATELY. The sooner you act, the sooner you'll know whether they are into you or not. The sooner you act, the sooner they will get to see the Maxtro OUT OF THE CLASS. The sooner you act, the less of a chance someone else has to swoop in.

I know that very well. But like baseball, there is a right way and time to swing. Any fool can swing at a pitch and strike out.

The problem with this analogy is that you are trynig to swing for a homerun, to get the perfect pitch. Theoritically, the perfect pitch doesn't exist, the sweet spot is different for everyone.

Plus, many baseball players will tell you that sometimes it's better to hit a single and get someone on base than to strike out while trying to hit a homerun.

You don't always have to swing for the homerun.

OK, I know that taking a class with a girl who rejected me isn't that bad. The less invested I am in them, the easier it is for me. Frankly I really don't care about any of these girls, they are just a means to an end, heh an end to my freaking dry spell.

This is EXACTLY why you have to ask their numbers NOW. The longer you let this delay, the more emotionally invested you will become with each one. You'll over exert your mind with desired outcomes and then not be able to follow through. You think if you asked for all 3 numbers now and got rejected 3 times, it would be just as bad as if you waited 3 more weeks and then got rejected?

Logic indicates (we are men) that getting rejected now would be a HELL of a lot better than getting rejected later.

One thing though is that I really do care if a crash and burn. I have never gotten a lay and words alone cannot describe how I feel about that.

The problem is that you can't go from "Being rejected" to "Getting Laid". It doesn't work like that Maxtro. You can't just go from social misfit to sexual god all in one day. You have to put the groundwork in before doing so.

BOTTOM LINE: Get the numbers. The more you delay, the more emotionally invested you become and the harder it'll become for you. What once took you 3 months, shouldn't take you more than 3 meetings. Stop overthinking, stop lacking confidence in yourself. CRASH AND BURN NOW if you have to, but STOP waiting.

 

[vatoloco]

with women, like with baseball, "you have to swing to hit."

I know that very well. But like baseball, there is a right way and time to swing. Any fool can swing at a pitch and strike out.

But unless they're Naturals, all kids begin by swinging at everything! And, while I don't mean disrespect, that's what you currently are: a kid in regards to your experience with women. You need to take as many swings as possible until you get the right feel of swinging your bat at just the right time to connect with the ball.

Are you gonna strike out? Yep. Will it hurt? Oh yeah. (I know what it feels like as I was an AFC back in my 20s) But it's that pain that makes you stronger! It's that feeling of "I don't want to feel like this. I'm gonna better myself!"

Eventually, with time and practice, you will become good with women. But you're gonna C&B initially. I guarantee it. If you don't ever want to feel pain, then give up women now.

That's where I think you are wrong. There are tons of variables that can be manipulated that can affect if a girl is interested in a guy or not.

No. A woman will know within a few seconds of meeting you your potential: having sex with, having an LTR with, making out with, going out on dates with, potential orbiter, LJBF-candidate or chump to be used. You may not agree with me but, that's just the way I think.

How do you find out if she might be interested in you? By asking for the number!

I know what what I say and how I say it is the deciding factor. Not knowing what to say makes me feel like a retard.

Can you say "Hi. What's your name?" Just start with that. If a girl likes you, she will help you with conversation. If she doesn't, well, you'll have your answer right there!

One thing though is that I really do care if a crash and burn. I have never gotten a lay and words alone cannot describe how I feel about that.

This is why you fail my friend. Your defeatist attitude is being picked up by women (yes, they can do that) and you're immediately labeled in their minds as LJBF candidate as you don't inspire attraction in these girls. You need to think like and be a winner.

P.S. I looked at your pic and you're certainly at a disadvantage. You can't be short and tubby and be good with women (unless you have a killer personality and/or tons of money). Get some muscle on top and get rid of the fat in the middle.

Your dating options will be much limited at 5'6" but I see it all the time: tiny, short girl with a slightly taller BF but, the guy is always in great shape. They're not that good-looking but they're always in great shape and usually dressing well.

 

[vatoloco]

I can personally understand why maxtro has no confidence. There's no way in hell you can build confidence at something you suck at. Let's say you were a quarterback and you couldn't throw a ball 10 feet, would you be confident about your football skills?

But if that QB knows what's good for him, he will practice and train his ass off to get better if he wants to be good. If he won't, he might as well go into gardening or something.

Oh course not. Well if you've failed with women your entire life you won't be confident with women. You could always try and fake it, but we all know ppl can see through it.

But you see, we're not trying to make a faker out of the guy. We're trying to get him to actually better himself so that he *IS* an actual confident guy that inspires attraction in women. How do you better yourself? With practice, time and effort. The question is, does he want to be a better person? Some guys do. Some guys don't.

I'm not sure how I became more confident with women, I think it happened after I hit rock bottom. Hasn't helped me too much so far but I've noticed women have stopped taking advantage of me.

But if you didn't have to hit bottom, wouldn't that be better? If you had a chance earlier in life to become a better person, wouldn't you do it? Unfortunately I didn't become the person I am today (happy, successful, full of a love for life and pretty girls) until my late 20s. I'm trying to get this guy to be better NOW. Of course, if he doesn't want to, that's his choice...

In fact, the sooner you ask for the number, the sooner you KNOW whether they are attracted to you or not.

And this is what a lot of guys don't understand: asking for the number is the test to see if a girl is interested.

Logic indicates (we are men) that getting rejected now would be a HELL of a lot better than getting rejected later.

It took me a while to realize this in my younger years so I can't blame the guy for not realizing this. But we're telling you right now: if she rejects you now, she's actually doing you a favor! You're not wasting time, money and effort into a girl who doesn't dig you. You now know to move on and go for other girls.

 

[Maxtro]

Ugh, two weeks later and not much has changed.

One of the girls very recently broke up with her boyfriend of three years and I have no idea how to pursue her because of that.

Another girl is leaving to Australia in two weeks for several months. I don't know what to do with her either. For some reason, she's started giving me rides to the bus stop. But when I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch she said she was tired, and still gave me a ride.

The last girl somehow found me on Facebook when I wasn't even sure that she knew my first name. She friended me and asked me to send her the class notes for when she was absent. We've only had a couple of 10 minute conversations and we very briefly talk before class. I was going to ask for her number last week but she was absent. I was going to try again today but I didn't want to ask in class. She didn't want to leave the class for the first break saying that it was too cold outside. A few minutes later she does come outside and joins me talking to a couple of girls. The next break I try to get her to come outside with me so we can talk but she said she's tired and puts her head on the desk. 10 minutes later when the break is over, she hasn't moved at all. When class finally ends she leaves without saying anything to me and right away starts talking on her phone.

I make the mistake of going down the direction in the hall that she was going and missed the opportunity to talk to a girl that I talked after the last class. We've only had one conversation so far.

Right now I'm feeling extremely frustrated. The summer session is over in a week and a half and I haven't done shit. I hate how I keep running into weird circumstances like with the first two girls that I don't know how to handle. And with the girls that I think I have a shot with, I need to make a choice on who to pursue and then even more shit happens.

I can briefly make out the oncoming stench of failure.

 

[escaleraroyal]

If i were you i tickle them to make them laugh and the start from there.

 

[katzorange]

DJ china's tactic is soooo smoooth lol

 

[d!ckmojo]

MAAAAAAN, , ,
...........................

ur a defeatist.

get an excersise book like for writing in, and everynight before going to bed write in it over and over:

"I have intense sexual magnetism
Women are irresistibly attracted to me
I am handsome, charming and charismatic
I am a Masterful Lover"

Do it about 3 or 4 times, and put as much feeling and emotion in to it as possible. Rationally with your intellect, seek for every single scrap of evidence to support these assertions in all of your whole life experience, and completely ignore anything at all that isn't congruent with these statements. Put so much emotion into that you can feel your legs and groin Tingle when you say the intense sexual magnetism line, like you can actually feel the electro-magnetic energy pulsing through your body priming you for attraction.

When you wake up 1st thing in the morning read through it again and BELIEVE it, push any thoughts to the contrary completely out of your mind and know the total truth of what you are reading. Throughout the day, anytime a chick looks at you and lets her gaze linger for a bit, or makes a small shy smile with her mouth, Know that its because you do have intense sexual magnetism.

Failing this strategy, I would recommend hypnosis. You could probably d/l some hypnosis mp3, Steve G Jones makes some good ones.

 

[Exhumed]

OP: Aren't there college parties to go to over summer? Aren't you in California, the capital of attractive women? Sorry if this has been asked before.

 

[Cry For Love]

I say screw the cutting dude, you need to keep on bulking, keep doing big core exercises, bulk with heavy eating(always eat before even a hint of feeling hungry, 6 times a day), you need to get the mass to feel powerful. A lot of guys dont get this thing but it really means something when youre big and it generates respect from others which feeds back to your personality.

So what if a little flab is on top too, it comes with the grounds and doesnt matter much if you have the core muscle there.Girls love it when you have a nice big ass too btw.

 

[Maxtro]

Thanks for the post d!ckmojo. Unfortunately I could do all the affirmations in the world and it won't help me. There's no way I can believe that I have intense sexual magnetism when I haven't even kissed a girl in 5 years. I need tangible success.

Even now I "failed" with two girls. Even though the odds were so stacked against me, that it would have been a miracle to get anything.

OP: Aren't there college parties to go to over summer? Aren't you in California, the capital of attractive women? Sorry if this has been asked before.

I've been going to this college for two years but I don't have a social life, I don't have any real friends (just a few girls that I talk to each semester) I have zero guy friends. So I haven't been to a single party. The only thing that's going to keep my summer from completely sucking is being able to go home and visit my family.

Cry For Love, I completely agree with you. I am seeing definite muscle growth. My arms, chest, shoulders heck even legs are bigger than they were before. The last thing I want to do is stop gaining and actually risk losing the muscle I have now. So I'm going to have a bit of extra fat on my stomach for a while, who gives a shit? Once I hit my goal, I'll drop the fat.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Circumstances stand in your way because you let them.

True, you gain confidence from positive experiences and it seems like you've had a rough time with women in general, but you have to keep going, that's the only way you'll improve!

Yes improving your physical apperance as much as possible will definitely make your job easier and highly recommended if you want to pull good looking girls.

Its a Catch 22 for you in your head right now:

You need success to truly BE confident and not just fake it til you make it.

But your mentality at the moment has you out on 3 strikes before you even step up to the plate.

What are your typical conversations with women like? I know it depends on where you meet them, but for instance in these chicks that are in your class how is the conversation? I hope you don't ask them about their major, the class etc..... you have to learn to get the girl ENGAGED in the conversation by pulling her on emotional highs and lows.... non verbal communication is so key.... they know so much about you before you even say a word to them.

Your first priority should be gaining success with women one step at a time. That means:

a) # closing
b) getting a date
c) kiss closing


If you need to need to go after a girl who is not so great to average to taste this success DO IT!!! Positive experiences build confidence, and I can assure you it will make you feel infinitely better about yourself.

Think of it as a ladder, you have to start at the bottom and work your way up when your a rookie. There's no subsitute for experience; its EVERYTHING with women.

Lastly try and just go have some fun!! Your putting too much pressure on yourself and over-analyzing your lack of action.

At some point you need to change what your doing if it doesn't give you results.





PIMP

 

[Maxtro]

Good post Pimp.

Circumstances stand in your way because you let them.

True, you gain confidence from positive experiences and it seems like you've had a rough time with women in general, but you have to keep going, that's the only way you'll improve!

Yes improving your physical apperance as much as possible will definitely make your job easier and highly recommended if you want to pull good looking girls.

Its a Catch 22 for you in your head right now:

You need success to truly BE confident and not just fake it til you make it.

But your mentality at the moment has you out on 3 strikes before you even step up to the plate.

My biggest failing with women is that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm very easily confused when circumstances seem unfavorable. For example with the girl that just got of of a LTR. I had it in my head that a smooth guy would be able to get her while she's on the rebound and quickly have sex with her. Except the problem is that I don't have a clue how that is done. Trying to pursue her normally by making dates doesn't seem like it would work. With the other girl, there was only a few weeks till she left the country, and again I didn't know what to do with her. So I make these threads to try and get help but none of the advice clicks with me, so I end up getting frustrated.

Working on my physical appearance is extremely important because I know that I'm already at a negative because I'm short. I need to work out just so that I can hit zero.

The catch 22 business is killing me. The lack of confidence is keeping me from taking risks when success seems low. At least I kind of asked out one of the girls. So I'm happy I at least did that. Tomorrow I'm going to try and get the number of a different girl and odds are I'm going to get rejected. But at least I know that I tried.

What are your typical conversations with women like? I know it depends on where you meet them, but for instance in these chicks that are in your class how is the conversation? I hope you don't ask them about their major, the class etc..... you have to learn to get the girl ENGAGED in the conversation by pulling her on emotional highs and lows.... non verbal communication is so key.... they know so much about you before you even say a word to them.

Great question and point.

The first ice breaker is terrifying for me so I try to make any random comment to get a few words in. The next meeting, I ask her how her weekend was. Those eventually turn into random conversations about anything. Heck one conversation started as the weekend thing, and we ended up covering; movies, the oil spill and gay sex :crazy:

Depending on her energy level, I can easily have long fun conversations.

The problem is that I don't have a clue what to say to girls that gets them to like me. Also I'm pretty dense on recognizing queues when a girl does like me. And then if I think I figured it out, she does something weird that throws me off.

Your first priority should be gaining success with women one step at a time. That means:

a) # closing
b) getting a date
c) kiss closing

I'd say I'm getting stuck on the getting a date step. Girls give their numbers to friends and study buddies. So yeah going for a number would at least tell me that a girl was not interested but it's not enough to determine if interest exists.

So far when I've been spending time with girls, we've most likely been hanging out as friends. I need to make it obvious that it's going to be a date and not two buddies hanging.

If you need to need to go after a girl who is not so great to average to taste this success DO IT!!! Positive experiences build confidence, and I can assure you it will make you feel infinitely better about yourself.

Think of it as a ladder, you have to start at the bottom and work your way up when your a rookie. There's no subsitute for experience; its EVERYTHING with women.

The vast majority of the girls I'm pursuing are average. I've gone after nerdy girls who don't know how to dress, to girls that have a bit of fat on them. As long as she's cute, fun and the thought of having sex with her doesn't disgust me, I'll go after her.

But still things go wrong. I've realized that no matter how she looks, women are still women. If I don't know how to make a hot girl wet, I most likely don't know how to make a fat girl wet either.

Lastly try and just go have some fun!! Your putting too much pressure on yourself and over-analyzing your lack of action.

At some point you need to change what your doing if it doesn't give you results.

PIMP

I am having fun when I'm talking to the girls. Heck it's the highlight of my day. My personality is so different from when I'm around girls, to when I'm sitting at home. When I get home and realize that I haven't accomplished any of my goals and that success seems unlikely; my mood crashes and then I post here.

As for changing what I'm doing. I don't know what else to try. Sure I could ask for a girls number during the first conversation but since I know I don't make an awesome first impression, I'd just be shooting myself in the foot.