How do I make a girl feel special? HELP!!!

[Don Juanabbe]

Ok. Pay attention to her - just listening to her, try to empathise, you know, "I see" or "That must have been hard for you" but at the same time do not try to solve her problems for her.

Ask alot of questions. Find sh*t out about her, and take mental notes, because then you will know how to get into her head.

 

[SheepSter]

I was just reading the replies on this post. I didn't know I effected you and your stomache so much Don Juanabbe.

And now it's time to quote:

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
She should be feeling those things simply by being in your presence and by being fortunate enough that you are even wasting your valuable time talking to her in the first place. You must be able to stir that feeling in her without supplicating. In fact, you will not elicit those feelings in her by kissing her butt with compliments, you will likely get the opposite reaction.

Very wise words, but it can be put shorter: (my first sentence)

Originally posted by Myself
Well you don't really need that as long as she feels that YOU are special.

Let's throw in another one:

Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
You are approaching this with the wrong attitude if you are concerned one iota with making the girl feel 'special' or 'important'.

and look what I wrote:

ImSoHorny005 before I'm going into your second question, I have to say you approach this in the wrong way. You seem to be concentrating on making THEM feel special. Your words implicate that you actually care what they think.

I thought ImSoHorny005 was dealing with one girl that was special to him. What I wrote was a simple guide on complimenting with some random explaining examples. I never wrote he should compliment alot. I actually wrote "Key is not to give them much". Normally I would not take the time to explain myself to someone who doesn't seem to read thorough.

But the fact that you think complimenting a woman in a sincere way is only for chumps, gave me the incentive to write this reply. You see if you can let go of your ego and be in the right state of mind you can say anything to women (except insulting, let's be thorough for a change). I used to do a compliment opener and not give her any more, letting her work for it. It's a thing I tried out and I got good results with it. This however doesn't seem possible according to your absolute theory. I'll end with saying that it aren't your words but your actions that define you as a man.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by SheepSter
I was just reading the replies on this post. I didn't know I effected you and your stomache so much Don Juanabbe.

And now it's time to quote:



Very wise words, but it can be put shorter: (my first sentence)



Let's throw in another one:



and look what I wrote:



I thought ImSoHorny005 was dealing with one girl that was special to him. What I wrote was a simple guide on complimenting with some random explaining examples. I never wrote he should compliment alot. I actually wrote "Key is not to give them much". Normally I would not take the time to explain myself to someone who doesn't seem to read thorough.

But the fact that you think complimenting a woman in a sincere way is only for chumps, gave me the incentive to write this reply. You see if you can let go of your ego and be in the right state of mind you can say anything to women (except insulting, let's be thorough for a change). I used to do a compliment opener and not give her any more, letting her work for it. It's a thing I tried out and I got good results with it. This however doesn't seem possible according to your absolute theory. I'll end with saying that it aren't your words but your actions that define you as a man.

Fair enough. Right on, you scared me there for a minute, I see what you're saying now.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

What I've been working on is called qualifying. Basically you screen her to see if she qualifies for being with you. This can be in a subtle way, an overt way, or a ****y way but the ****y way can be overdone and not feel as sincere or serious. When she qualifies, you let her know. It's like complimenting with the frame of mind "You please me" instead of "You're so cool."


The subtle way is to talk about some cool aspect of your life. Oftentimes the girl will start qualifying herself to you by talking about how she does some similar thing. Like I tell girls about how I'm really into my art community and I love my friends because they're so creative. Soon, the girls start mentioning how they are artistic in one way or another, usually it pales in comparison but I give them props.

The overt way is to straight up ask questions like girls do on dates. "Can you cook?" "How did you treat your last boyfriend?" "Are you adventurous? I can't hang out with boring people."

Also, I've qualified girls when they just demonstrate or volunteer something about themselves that I like and that I didn't even ask them about. People in general will start talking up themselves (qualifying themselves to you) when they sense that you are cooler than them or have some sort of higher value than them.

A good related frame I've been working with is that the girl digs me and everything she does is because she digs me. In other words, I have high value so she is never motivated by repulsion for me. If she flakes, it's because she was too nervous to meet up. If she BSes around about a date, I tell her that playing hard to get is cute but isn't the best way to win me over. I'll even say, "I like you but that's kind of a turn off." If she wants to invite a friend on our date, I tell her that she doesn't need to be afraid and that I'll go easy on her. My current favorite, I told this girl that she scored fairly well on my "official first date rating scale" so I wanted to take her on a second date. She teased me that she didn't know we were on a date. I purposely misinterpreted her as being serious and teased her about how it's tough being recently single with all of the confusing categories and rituals and whatnot. It's all about reframing and misinterpreting everything she does to relate back to my high value. And the qualifying goes right along with this.

I'm not the best at qualifying, so maybe some more experienced folks can chime in. But yeah, qualifying will make her feel special. If you're high value, you've got to let her know why you're kicking it with her instead of just wanting to bang her silly. Even when I just want to screw, I still look for good qualities to qualify on. Afterall, I don't have sex with socially repulsive people.