How do I know whether just friendly or something more; Girl placed her head on my shoulder

[crosscheck1331]

Hi Brothers,

I met up with this girl the other day to catch up on our lives. I’ve known her for like two years(I know her through school)--She did good in school last semester and made dean's list so I got her a surprise gift, just like a small box of her favorite pastries. It was less than like $20 so no big deal. It made her really happy and she leaned over and put her head on my shoulder, we were sitting next to each other on a bench talking. Something like this has never happened before with her so I was a bit caught off guard. We hug when greeting and saying bye but that’s the extent of any physical stuff.

Some background: We’re not like super best friends or anything but I feel like we know each other well. There’s been times where I FELT she liked me- she’s reached out to me a few times saying we should hang out and catch up after not seeing each other for a few months and she even invited me to her apartment once during one of said hang outs, but nothing has ever happened.

Thanks for reading – I’ll check back

 

[backseatjuan]

It's easy, if you two known each for so long and nothing ever happened, you never wanted to bone her, that means she feels safe around you and to her you are a friend.

 

[jimwho]

Next hang out bring a bottle of wine. Negative, make that two bottles and cook some pasta..

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hi Brothers,

I met up with this girl the other day to catch up on our lives. I’ve known her for like two years(I know her through school)--She did good in school last semester and made dean's list so I got her a surprise gift, just like a small box of her favorite pastries. It was less than like $20 so no big deal. It made her really happy and she leaned over and put her head on my shoulder, we were sitting next to each other on a bench talking. Something like this has never happened before with her so I was a bit caught off guard. We hug when greeting and saying bye but that’s the extent of any physical stuff.

Some background: We’re not like super best friends or anything but I feel like we know each other well. There’s been times where I FELT she liked me- she’s reached out to me a few times saying we should hang out and catch up after not seeing each other for a few months and she even invited me to her apartment once during one of said hang outs, but nothing has ever happened.

Thanks for reading – I’ll check back

Nothing has ever happened because YOU haven't made anything happen. You are the man. Make a move of you want something to happen. She might be disappointed you haven't and might be really open to it. You'll never know until you try it.

 

[Desdinova]

She initiated kino. In other words, she tore down the sexual boundaries. All you need to do is progress things and your d1ck will be inside her in no time.

However, if you continue to sit around wondering if she's just a friend or not, then she will be just a friend.

 

[Mike32ct]

If she put her head on your shoulder, you could have easily put your arm around her then.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If she put her head on your shoulder, you could have easily put your arm around her then.

Put his arm around her...rub her back...run his fingers through her hair...

OP, acting timid never works to your advantage. If you want it, go for it and if she backs off, laugh it off and agree and amplify.

Could it lead to an uncomfortable situation? Yes. Could it lead to her sucking your c0ck? Yes.

But nothing is going to change until you make it change. Playing it safe is playing to lose.

 

[Mike32ct]

Put his arm around her...rub her back...run his fingers through her hair...

OP, acting timid never works to your advantage. If you want it, go for it and if she backs off, laugh it off and agree and amplify.

Could it lead to an uncomfortable situation? Yes. Could it lead to her sucking your c0ck? Yes.

But nothing is going to change until you make it change. Playing it safe is playing to lose.

Agree completely. Just meant that as a starting point. Then I would brush her hair aside and see how she reacts. If she keeps the eye contact, it’s makeout time.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Agree completely. Just meant that as a starting point. Then I would brush her hair aside and see how she reacts. If she keeps the eye contact, it’s makeout time.

Yeah exactly. Men have balls for a reason. It's to use them in situations like this and just go for it.

 

[backseatjuan]

Girlfriends have no balls and no d1ck. You're a friend OP. Now, you can try some dumb move and see where it goes, but I'm telling you, friend. Friends don't fck friends. You make a move you show her you're just like other friends she have, that means you lose her. Your choice.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Girlfriends have no balls and no d1ck. You're a friend OP. Now, you can try some dumb move and see where it goes, but I'm telling you, friend. Friends don't fck friends. You make a move you show her you're just like other friends she have, that means you lose her. Your choice.

It all depends on how he does it. Plenty of people who have been friends for a long time end up fvcking.

Or he shows her that he is now because he has the skills to make her excited about it.

 

[backseatjuan]

There is plenty of pssy out there. Let's keep friends friends, and not make moves from the perspective of pssy deficit.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There is plenty of pssy out there. Let's keep friends friends, and not make moves from the perspective of pssy deficit.

Why? If he wants to go for it then go for it. What does that have to do with deficit? I currently have 3 plates I am banging regularly and a potential 4th and if this chick did that and I wanted to bang her then I would go for it.

I understand your point but not doing something because of "how it looks" to others is just as bad as being a nice guy in terms of your success with women and to a larger extent in life.

 

[Alvafe]

rule is when in doubt ask her out, you 2 alone, if she goes, then scale, if not there is your answer, move on

 

[Igetit!]

Put his arm around her...rub her back...run his fingers through her hair...

OP, acting timid never works to your advantage. If you want it, go for it and if she backs off, laugh it off and agree and amplify.

Could it lead to an uncomfortable situation? Yes. Could it lead to her sucking your c0ck? Yes.

But nothing is going to change until you make it change. Playing it safe is playing to lose.

I agree with what you're saying,in terms of if you want something you need to be aggressive and go after it.

But honestly,far as THIS situation goes,I agree with Backseatjuan. Thing is,from what I personally gathered from the OP's story,her putting her head on his shoulder was a REACTION to a polite gesture he made.

He got her a small gift,so she put her head on his shoulder for a second as a way of saying thanks. Similar to a girl going,"Aww...that's so sweet" to a gesture a guy does for her,only through action and not words.

If she had done that WITHOUT him getting her a gift first,I'd 100% totally agree. But seeing as how she did it in response to his buying her a gift,I see it as simply her way of saying thank you. Women do that....they'll touch you,like rub your arm/shoulder,give you a quick tight hug as a way of saying thanks in response to something done for them.

Could it be sexual interest? Well,with women,anything's possible. But seeing as how they've already know each other for two years and nothing's went down,I see it as simply her being polite.

Not saying he shouldn't go for it if he wants to,just that I personally saw it as her being nice.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

 

[crosscheck1331]

Hey guys, thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my post. I read all the replies and am grateful for all of them regarding my situation.

I felt I should add just a few things: Though I’ve known her for two years she wasn’t available the entire time that I’ve known her. She had a boyfriend for maybe a little more than half the time so no opportunity for me to make a move and I talked to other girls. I was okay with it though because we got along really well and she would invite me to parties she threw etc.

We kept in touch during the lockdown and she told me we should talk and see each other more regularly and this is when I started to think maybe she had liked me all this time. Once the restrictions were lifted we met up one day in the summer. She told me at one point she had no boyfriend and towards the end we ended up back at her place (she wanted me to get something) but nothing happened like I had mentioned. In the back of my mind I felt she wanted me to make a move but I didn’t see an opening while there and basically told myself I was probably wrong and talked myself out of it.

I got the impression she was mad at me over how it went down because she was hard to reach/seemed to always be busy afterwards. She just started acting differently and so backed off the last two months. I only saw her again the other day when I met with her- what prompted my first post.

I will check again to see any new responses but this is mostly what I had wanted to say (unless the replies remind me of something I had forgot to mention) – if anything happens I will come back and provide an update.

Thanks again for brothers for taking the time to read my post and offer any words of advice or encouragement.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sometimes it catches you offguard when you get a random opportunity you weren't ready for...like when she invited you back to her place.

Something I worked hard at getting better at was always being ready for random opportunities and taking advantage of them better.

 

[crosscheck1331]

Hey you guys, thanks again for having read and responded. Thought I'd provide an update since I started this thing in the first place - I am only going to post one more update after this. Some time after I made this I got in touch with her and asked her how everything was going. You know, because of the COVID and remote learning I don't see her at school and she was telling me how she was stressed with everything and can't wait for the semester to be over etc. I asked her when her last final is in December and when she told me I said I also finish around such and such time and we can meet up before the year ends. She was like yeah, let's do that. So that is where I am at now. I am probably going to get in touch with her on Thanksgiving and then start making plans to meet up sometime before the year ends. I'll let you guys know what happens, thank you.

 

[bat soup]

Hi Brothers,

I met up with this girl the other day to catch up on our lives. I’ve known her for like two years(I know her through school)--She did good in school last semester and made dean's list so I got her a surprise gift, just like a small box of her favorite pastries. It was less than like $20 so no big deal. It made her really happy and she leaned over and put her head on my shoulder, we were sitting next to each other on a bench talking. Something like this has never happened before with her so I was a bit caught off guard. We hug when greeting and saying bye but that’s the extent of any physical stuff.

Some background: We’re not like super best friends or anything but I feel like we know each other well. There’s been times where I FELT she liked me- she’s reached out to me a few times saying we should hang out and catch up after not seeing each other for a few months and she even invited me to her apartment once during one of said hang outs, but nothing has ever happened.

Thanks for reading – I’ll check back

The way to find out is to make a move. Get close to her, touch her (casually at first, as you would a friend) and gradually increase the level of contact. If she doesn't object, you'll end up having sex and if she does stop you (by moving away, for example) now you know that she's not interested.