How do I keep a FB?

[HoneyHitter]

Hi everyone,

My last fu<kbuddy (HB6.5, 21 y/o) "broke up" with me yesterday, saying we should just be friends. The past two months we'd get together once a week and I'd practically do her right away.

I lost my job about a month ago and just started a new job yesterday. The time in between jobs I was pretty much cashless and it definitely affected my health (no gym/less food) and behaviour (less outgoing). I also didn't make any effort to find new plates. Now she's saying she had sex with her dance instructor after he invited her to stay over after a late dance class.

Now, I actually saw that coming way ahead. I noticed the way she talked about him flirting with her and such. She'd say it was nothing, but I knew better. Since he's sort-of the "alpha" guy to her, I knew if this guy made a move he could get her. I just hoped she would keep calling me every now and then for some casual sex.

We both never refered to eachother as boyfriend/girlfriend and agreed on that. So I thought I was out of the relationship zone.
But now she's saying "there's no spark" between us and she's not in love.
I understand where that's coming from, since I didn't even try to keep her interest level up after the first time we had sex. Mostly because I thought that would only get me caught in a relationship.

I want to learn from this. How do you guys make sure a FB keeps you around, even when she's dating someone else?
Looking back I realize I have never really had a pure FB situation.

Funny thing:
She told me she "didn't see it coming". Now, this dance instructor gives classes in our city as well as in his hometown. When she started going to those classes in the instructor's home town, I actually encouraged her to follow her passion for dancing and take those extra dance classes (despite the travelling) if they would really get her ahead. She did get ahead, but in a totally different way than I expected.

After the "break-up" talk, I used her let's just be friends claim to hear her out. It seems this girl is spinning plates better than me! I was (at least) her 3rd plate.

Btw, as a note to the elder guys around here: don't worry about age.
This girl has had regular sex with guys more than 15 years her age.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Honey hitter,
Look don't fret,Dance instructors take first bite at all the young girls,he has plenty on the side,just be nice and in a few months things will be back to normal.

 

[STR8UP]

You just learned one of the most important lessons of being a man, and that is, "You will never own a woman". Even in a relationship.

If she decides to go elsewhere for whatever reason (and this is inevitable in a FB type relationship) you can either get upset about it and LOSE, or you can keep your cool, wish her the best, and maybe reap some benefits from it in the future.

So how does one KEEP a FB? In your case the only way is to let her go.

 

[Colossus]

The simple answer is that you don't keep a FB. These types of relationships are volatile and have a short shelf-life. Expect this going into it and you'll be prepared.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Thank you all for the good advice.

To be honest, I really hate being in "second best" situation.
Untill now I'd usually delete the girl's phone number after our last contact. But this time I'm going to deal with it differently. I'll start keeping in touch with her after 1 or 2 months of total abscence and invite her to social activities. At least, if I still remember her.

 

[NewMan]

To be honest, I really hate being in "second best" situation.

This is your ego talking.

You don't want a relationship with her - you want the pvssy.

When you enter the Fb situation you have to realize that you both need to do what's best for YOU. It's fun while it last's - but you also have to let the bird go and fly the nest - That way, the bird can come back....

So how do you keep this situation?

I've had some long lasting FB's situations - The way I look at it, I'm there for the pvssy - but I also try and add something to that person's life, in a postive way. Be it advice, be it help when required - or just someone that she can talk to about her sh1t (she'll tell her FB more than she'll tell a bf) - and most importantly, when she makes the decision to move on, make it drama free. Give her the space and respect it. This way, it'll be easier for her to call you up for some extra curicular activities in the future.

 

[radiodude]

Hi everyone,

My last fu<kbuddy (HB6.5, 21 y/o) "broke up" with me yesterday, saying we should just be friends. The past two months we'd get together once a week and I'd practically do her right away.

I lost my job about a month ago and just started a new job yesterday. The time in between jobs I was pretty much cashless and it definitely affected my health (no gym/less food) and behaviour (less outgoing). I also didn't make any effort to find new plates. Now she's saying she had sex with her dance instructor after he invited her to stay over after a late dance class.

Now, I actually saw that coming way ahead. I noticed the way she talked about him flirting with her and such. She'd say it was nothing, but I knew better. Since he's sort-of the "alpha" guy to her, I knew if this guy made a move he could get her. I just hoped she would keep calling me every now and then for some casual sex.

We both never refered to eachother as boyfriend/girlfriend and agreed on that. So I thought I was out of the relationship zone.
But now she's saying "there's no spark" between us and she's not in love.
I understand where that's coming from, since I didn't even try to keep her interest level up after the first time we had sex. Mostly because I thought that would only get me caught in a relationship.

I want to learn from this. How do you guys make sure a FB keeps you around, even when she's dating someone else?
Looking back I realize I have never really had a pure FB situation.

Funny thing:
She told me she "didn't see it coming". Now, this dance instructor gives classes in our city as well as in his hometown. When she started going to those classes in the instructor's home town, I actually encouraged her to follow her passion for dancing and take those extra dance classes (despite the travelling) if they would really get her ahead. She did get ahead, but in a totally different way than I expected.

After the "break-up" talk, I used her let's just be friends claim to hear her out. It seems this girl is spinning plates better than me! I was (at least) her 3rd plate.

Btw, as a note to the elder guys around here: don't worry about age.
This girl has had regular sex with guys more than 15 years her age.

This is because you need to be completely honest with each other and yourself about whats really going on and what you really want.

If it's an FB situation, then thats what it needs to stay as. If you get emotionally connected and she isn't, you know what to do. A man walks away from that and eliminates the issue.

Sounds like she has finally gotten past the sex and is ready for something more and she knows she doesn't want it with you. Remember, you were a FB, not a BF or something more.

Don't sweat it. You're fine.