How do I get over getting cheated on?

[Furyguy]

Stupid ****ing question, right? But this is something I've never had to deal with.

Guys that have had this happen to you in the past, how do I get over this?

Is the best way really just to cut her out of my life completely, or will I regret that? I feel totally unresolved. Like there's a million things I want to say to her about what a ****ing terrible thing she did, but in the end I know she won't give a ****, and when it comes time to talk to her I can never express myself very well anyways.

I am ****ing pathetic, eh? It's not ALL that bad. I have been sleeping with other (hotter) women (this is a new thing since we split, I was never unfaithful to her), I am still making gains in the gym, and making more money than I ever have before. I'm not letting this put my life on hold, either. Which makes me wonder if I can really get over this without having to go full no contact. I'd rather not do that, but it's been a month and this isn't getting any ****ing better. I feel like she is an ******* who can't possibly make my life any better. I don't understand why I don't want to just cut her out of my life once and for all.

Slap some sense into me brothers, please for the love of god.

 

[fearless_surrender]

know there's a lot worse. that's not worse then a girl leaving you for some other guy imho.

dude u banged other hot chicks, you live by the gun you die by the gun. trust in God, it all works out for the better.

u need kind of a friend, one that is kind of distant so it doesn't really matter what kind of impression you give, and just talk about it can be helpful while u jog around the tracks. if you want to talk about it with me you can hit me up.

 

[Proselytiser]

Keep going as you are going you sound like you are going good and if you keep this up and don't contact her, one of two things gonna happen:

You find someone better
She begs for you to take her back (but don't haha)

 

[fearless_surrender]

yea seriously you don't want that ****.. if u take her back what kind of man does that make you?

 

[PlaysToWin]

Is the best way really just to cut her out of my life completely, or will I regret that?

Yes, it's the best way and no you won't regret it.

 

[mrRuckus]

Saying something really gets you nothing. She really doesn't care anyway and you'll get nothing out of it. It's completely hollow. She'll just get satisfaction that you care enough to get angry and yell at her or whatever.

It says a lot about you that you even consider having her still in your life. She's basically told you that you are worthless enough to risk losing. It's insulting and disrespectful, and such things have no place in your life. Jettison them and don't look bad.

The only thing really is time. Go about dating others and then you just mostly forget about that one. The few girls that cheated about me, i remember and am thinking about now, but there's no emotion behind it. They are worse off and I am better off.

I haven't even talked to them since. One recently tried to facebook me after 5 years and i never even acknowledged it. She has zero place in my life, and it's insulting that she tried to grab a small part of me back.

 

[Weezy]

This is a slam dunk case.

You have to cut her out of your life. She cheated on you, that's it. You'll never trust her.

You will regret letting her back into your life, I promise.

Strait NC is byyour best and only option if you want to look at yourself in the mirror and respect yourself 6 months down the road.

 

[Ease]

The best remedy for this type of situation is the soothing touch of another girl.

Find a new girl and it'll take your mind off it and put you at ease.

 

[Furyguy]

Alright then I guess that is a pretty resounding answer from the community. Already got a couple new girls, and you're right they are perfect for getting my mind off ****.

Ruckus thanks for the advice on that being a hollow thing to do man, that's a great point and I appreciate it. I know my boys always got my back when I need em, no need to spill my emotions to this chick. Worthless enough to risk losing, thanks for putting that into perspective. Man I knew all this **** but I don't know how I lost sight of it.

I don't need this **** in my life, plain and simple I just don't need it.

Thanks for getting me back on track.

 

[WC2]

No you're not pathetic. And yes, it IS ALL that bad.

Let's put the BS aside here kid, getting cheating on is bad. You feel like sh!t, your friends tend to think less of you, and people around you in general feel as if you're that much less intelligent because you got PLAYED.

What all these people DON'T tell you is that 90% of them have been through the SAME thing, some of them probably still hurting. When they see YOU getting cheated on, they think these things to make themselves feels better.

Think of it this way. If your best friend got cheated on tomorrow, sure you would tell him you feel bad for him. But deep inside you know that you'd feel a sense of relief. Sort of like..

'Ahh.... now I'm not the only one who got played for a fool.'

Now that we've put away that whole mess, all that remains are your relations with the one who cheated on you. And no, it's not as simple as no contact. Well, yes it is, but we both know that no contact is sometimes tougher than not masturbating for a whole year.

Another depressing but realistic truth is that if you really cared about this chick, then no amount of prime p*ssy is going to get your head back on track in the short run. You already know this feeling.. when you bang some chick or hang out with a chick and you feel 'good' initially, but after you leave you just feel empty again.

The good thing is that THIS will not last forever, even if it may seem like it. In the long run, meeting other women will ultimately land you a chick who you will like more than you ever liked your EX, which might be your goal. For me, my goal was to find a woman I liked enough to get my mind off my EX, and then pursue my goals with a free mind. You could say I used her, but then again I get used by women all the time.

The real truth of the matter is that most men don't hold true to the no contact rule early on when they've been cheated on, because they feel the need to salvage the relationship by getting back at their EX, in hopes that she will see the light and get back with you, vowing to never cheat again. The fault in this thinking is that if she's cheated on you once, she will again. Even if you were a millionaire, she may risk it because she knows that you'll take her back.

Don't get me wrong, no contact is not a bad idea. In fact, it is what is going to help you get her off of your mind while you try to meet new women. But don't buy into the WHOLE concept of no contact just because, because after all a course of action without any emotional reason from your side is pointless. Sure, your reason for no contact might be to get her off your mind, but emotionally you still think of her.

Take the no contact a day at a time. If she contacts you, be polite and always make sure that you end the conversation. This puts us in a position of power and makes us feel better about ourselves. Don't give her the satisfaction that you're angry with her.. believe me, women THRIVE on us being depressed over them.

Solving this issue cannot be summed up with a single rule; it's a whole lifestyle change that is hard to become accustomed to.

If you're in need of more advice, let me know. I've been through this kind of thing and have come out on the other side, and have also faltered through getting back together with a woman who cheated on me a long time ago.

best of luck and happy holidays

 

[Furyguy]

Thank you for taking the time to help me out here. It really means a lot to me to get such a supportive response from the community.

I agree with all of what you said. Getting laid sure helps for a while but the anger comes back eventually.

There's a very good emotional reason for me not wanting to talk to her; she is a ****ing *******, and she makes me feel like **** every time I hear from her. I really need this crap out of my life.

There can be no forgiveness here for what she did. She has been begging me for a month now to take her back. What a mistake it all was, how it wasn't worth it, how she ****ed up and wishes she could take it back, how stupid she is. I don't care, there is no fixing this.

True I still feel like ****. I want to be able to think of her and feel nothing but quiet disdain. No more anger, no rage, no remorse, no sense of loss. What a waste of my time and energy to get so bent out of shape over a stupid girl. I really need to let it go. I guess it will just take time.

 

[mrRuckus]

I'm totally for keeping things simple.

Anger and pain fade in time.

Talking to exes is like picking at a scab. Sure, it'll heal eventually, but not as fast.

Keep it simple. Stop talking to her. You don't have to do anything else special to get over it 'faster' or anything because no one knows what will work. Time passes, then one day something reminds you of her or something you did with her and you realize you don't really don't care that much and you haven't even thought about her in a while.

I don't know what possibly could be gained from keeping her around other than a reminder that you got played.

I've been through all that stuff and done things both ways. No contact is better. *Maybe* much later on when she's going to let you meet her hot friends, but otherwise what does this b1tch offer you? Zilch.

See, it's been a month and you've been talking to her and you still feel that much pain and anger?! A month is a pretty long time. Stop picking the scab.

 

[Furyguy]

Ruckus you're right man, I appreciate it. Thanks for the support, and for showing me what I'm not smart enough to realize on my own.

 

[5string]

Good advice above.

Realize that it will very likely happen more than once.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

It happens to everyone at some point, and the best thing you can do is realize there is nothing you CAN do to change what happened.

Have some self-respect and cut her out of your life, and move on happy in knowing you're no longer with someone who didn't care for or respect you enough.

Then, know that there was nothing you could do to stop her from cheating. You can't control people, and knowing that fact makes moving on a hell of a lot easier.

It has nothing to do with you. She cheated and now she has to suffer the consequences of you leaving her in the dust.

When it hurts, just remember it was her fault not yours.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You will never get over it until you get over her.

 

[john91]

screwing all her friends is a good start