how do i get back in?

theanomoly

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I felt I like I won the lottery a couple months ago. I went into a lap dancing club with my friend and as they do a couple of dancers came over and started talking to us. The one that was talking to me was HOT.Turns out she makes porn as well. To cut a long story short she ended up leaving the club with me and I f*$KED HER BRAINS OUT.(No i didn't pay her for the sex and she only gave me 2 dances)
She said she didn't have time for a boyfriend as she was studying (as all dancers do!) she just wanted a "F*$K buddy" someone she could see a couple of times a week for sex.
I KNOW IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.I made the mistake of being too nice and accomodating to her. I am now at the stage with her were she is "too busy" to meet up as "she has to work" and she will "call me"
She is also VERY blatent. I've been with her when she tells men that call her to "F&*K off and dont call me again" she hasn't done that to me and is always polite so I believe I still can salvage this situation
What can I do to reestablish myself?
 

Derek Flint

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Strippers usually have "issues" and are very high-maintanence, either financially, emotionally etc...

The best thing you can do is to not contact here at all.

Ever heard of the "returning fox" theory?

Do a forum search on it.
 

Chrispy

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Originally posted by Derek Flint
Strippers usually have "issues" and are very high-maintanence, either financially, emotionally etc...

The best thing you can do is to not contact here at all.

Ever heard of the "returning fox" theory?

Do a forum search on it.
the word 'fox' is under 4 characters (doh!!) - could you explain it or post a link?
 

Jay Gatsby

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Returning Fox Theory doesn't apply to his situation. He failed because he became a "nice guy" and was more respectful to her than she probably thought she deserved to be, thereby lowering his worth in her eyes.

Here's a description of the Returning Fox Theory from FastSeduction. MrSex4uNYC writes on Ray's Returning Fox Theory:

At the first sign of disrespect to you OR passing up an opportunity to spend time with you, you dump her. when she calls you wanting to go out or something, you tell her that her behavior was unacceptable and that the only way you are going to let her hang out with you again is if she makes up whatever **** you want her to do because she broke the rules. If all you want from her is a kiss, get that. If all you want is for her to dress sexily, make her do that. If she doesn't agree to your terms tell her don't call you again until you are ready to meet my demands and HANG UP. The point of returning fox is that she is crawling back to you so you have the POWER in the relationship.
Ross Jeffries suggests issuing a warning at first, which is pretty much the same thing - you have to show that you're serious about it. "Don't be afraid to call her on bull**** she might pull. Girls will always test your limits... so the first time they do, call them on it. Tell her that you won't put up with that **** and not to do it again. NEVER forget you were born without her. And that there are a hundreds more like her and a thousands more that are even better than her."

Disrespect is also a form of test - she is testing you in order to find out whether you are a supplicating groveling taking-all-her-crap wussy... or a man. Mr Happy, ASF: "In order to pass such a test (an example of which is cancelling a date), you must:

Show that you don't lose your temper over it.
Show that you don't whine like a baby over it.
Show that it doesn't really phase you.
Show that you DO find it disrespectful and that you don't tolerate that.
(4) is the most important point, but you MUST do it in such a way that (1,2,3) are true."

The Returning Fox theory explained by the originator himself. Ray Parker, ASF:

A Returning Fox is one who has shown no previous interest in you or rejected you, but who has "returned" and approached you after you have forgotten her. This puts you in a temporary position of power.

With a Returning Fox, you should ask for whatever it is you want from her at the piont of return. If she does not come across, she likely never will, and you can send her packing once again, repeating the process as many times as you have to each time she returns.

For example, if she turned you down for a date, you stopped talking to her, and she now contacts you "just to say hi" just ask her out on the spot. Optionally, you can add a reference to how puzzled you are she'd contact you and how you don't really need to talk. If she doesn't bail out there, just ask for what you want.

An aggressive version of this strategy has the man asking for sex or requiring it for her to get back into his life. The theory is she must want something out of you to seek you out after rejecting you, and unless she agrees to your terms, she can just go packing again.

The method works very well in many situations. It also has short-term applications for Foxes who ignore you at clubs or parties and then "return" later."
Here's something else that might be of interest from Fast Seduction:

Things are looking grim if she doesn't seem to be returning a phone-call or an e-mail. But not all is lost yet as it all depends how you proceed from here.

One certain way to mess things up is calling / e-mailing her some more with the message being that although you are just slightly confused as to why she hasn't answered you yet, its ok anyway, lets try again, "here's my number one more time" etc. Bad. This is sure-fire method of losing her.

Another way to react is not to react at all - you sent your message, she received it, now its her turn to act, and if she doesn't, well, too bad. This method lets you keep your integrity and pride, but you could also be losing out on women who either can't seem to be able to make up their minds (but beware, they will definetly decide against you once they receive a supplicating follow-up message from you!) and/or are the kind of girls, that know to start "behaving" only after having received a few "slaps" from you.

So if hopes were high (you hit it off well, she gave you her number etc, any signals of possible interest you might have received from her will do) but now she seems to have disappeared - show that you WILL NOT TOLERATE such a behaviour, and only because you saw some potential for the two of you are you WILLING to give her ONE LAST CHANCE. But if she dares to f_ck up again - its bye-bye- and blam!-door-slam-time:)

A sample e-mail/voice message by ||0_ProB, ASF: "Hi [girls name]. This is [my name]. I wanted to let you know how disappointed I was that you didn't call me back. But, since I saw so much potential for us I thought I would give you one last chance. So why don't you give me a call."

This approach also works if she does return your e-mails and phone-calls, but never seems to have time to actually get together with you. So if she always seems to have some prior engagements or projects or business or other BS to take care of and never time for you, here's an example of a simple and direct message by Maniac High (http://www.pickupguide.com), ASF:

"Hi xxx
So are you going to make time to meet me, or are you always busy? I am free Sunday afternoon btw."
 

Falcon Eye

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Returning fox theory is very interesting.

Hey Jay,

Is there a link to any further reading on the returning fox theory. I find it very interesting and it seems like something that we should all be aware of and have the ability to put into practice whenever the opportunity arises.

Any further info would be appreciated.
 
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wow...i'm inna' similar situation at the moment and i will use this...good stuff :D
 

bbc

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Jay Gatsby,

I agree mostly with what you said\quoted.
THough dont you agree that women love to be chased?
Does a DJ chase women? Or mostly make ultimatums?

Sure he can afford to if he's over confident, over rich, over handsome etc. In reality women would not fall to his feet if he is not. They want that chasing thing and may respond very negatively to any kind of ultimatums.

yeah if you wanna dump her, that's good idea to show her how independent you are and how easy you can dump her.
But what if you dont?
 

Jay Gatsby

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Originally posted by bbc
Jay Gatsby,

I agree mostly with what you said\quoted.
THough dont you agree that women love to be chased?
Does a DJ chase women? Or mostly make ultimatums?

Sure he can afford to if he's over confident, over rich, over handsome etc. In reality women would not fall to his feet if he is not. They want that chasing thing and may respond very negatively to any kind of ultimatums.

yeah if you wanna dump her, that's good idea to show her how independent you are and how easy you can dump her.
But what if you dont?
We're getting way off topic here. The original poster wanted to know how to get a girl back who he lost by being too nice. Derek Flint suggested the Returning Fox theory, which has no applicability to the situation.

The Returning Fox theory has nothing to do with the chase from the man's perspective. It has everything to do with the chase from the woman's perspective -- because she's the one doing the chasing. In fact, under the theory, you're more valuable than she is, because you have something she wants. What does she want? She wants to conquer you! You're a challenge because you won't put up with her BS.

Here's another couple of excerpts from the Layguide that I hope will clear things up a bit:

Ross Jeffries: "You see, after years of experience and study, I've come to the conclusion that a woman can only experience real passion for if on some level she believes she could do something to lose you! Understand that when you show this willingness to walk away, in any area of your life, it conveys the message that you are the prize to be pursued, that you are the person of value, and they had better take advantage of the opportunity. This is an attitude that will move you forward in any area that's challenging you. By way of contrast, if you show a non-stop, forever and ever devotion to her, and put up with her crap and ambivalence, then where is that tension of knowing she could lose you? Answer: nowhere! And that's why you get nowhere when you put up with this kind of stuff! If you've seen an initially hot relationship grow ice-cold, this is one big reason!!!"

Ross Jeffries: "And one of the most true and powerful realities of human nature is: IF SOMETHING COMES AT VERY LITTLE COST, PEOPLE TEND TO THINK IT IS OF LITTLE VALUE! We believe that things that are difficult to possess are inherently of better quality and that things that are easy to posses are of little value or quality. In other words, absent knowing what something can do for them, people will make a judgement based on what they have to give up to get it. They confuse price with value. I certainly hope that you are smart enough to see the difference. Personally, I judge the worth of something based on what it will do for me. But practically speaking, here are some ways to do it in your behaviour in the field:

At the appropriate place and time, SHOW YOUR ANGER!! Guys who never get mad, who never show that they will stand up for themselves and make a woman feel a bit of unpleasantness are, in effect, giving themselves away for free!! Let the females in your life know that if they break your rules, cross you, or show any lack of respect that THEY ARE GOING TO PAY A PRICE!
Be willing to withdraw your time and attention and be unavailable! There are actually two rules working here: one is that people value more what they have to work for, but also the rule is: if it's rare or becoming MORE scarce it's viewed as being more valuable.

Well, in any case, as I've said, it's a reality, so use it in the following ways:

A. Now and again, cancel dates.
B. Don't always return her phone calls promptly
C. On occasion, and especially in the beginning, GET OFF THE PHONE FIRST!! Don't have unlimited time or willingness to talk!!
That should get her viewing you as scarce and therefore a lot more valuable and therefore something... She's Willing To Pay A Hell Of A Lot More To Get!! Now the final, and perhaps the most important rule I can give you is: Let Women (and people in general) Know What Your Rules Are And What You Expect Of Them!!! Now, I didn't say whine or demand. I just said let them know with the attitude of: Hey, these are the rules. If you care to obey them, great. You'll receive GREAT value in return. If not, please get out of the way because plenty of people are lined up who WILL pay, and gladly so.

Finally on this topic, you should take steps to totally eliminate from your life anyone in any capacity who will not pay your price, after you have clearly informed them what that price may be, and most especially if they have explicitly agreed to pay it. As I have long said, confidence works two ways: both in going for what you do want and moving away from what you don't. If you don't eliminate those who won't pay the price, then you will be undercutting your confidence when you want to move towards what you want, because your behaviour is not 100% congruent with your belief that you are a person of value who is deserving of the best."

Clifford's Seduction newsletter: "Make her put some work into hanging out with you in order for her to value you. Make her come and pick you up, make her spend some money on you, make her call and do you favors, etc. When she does things for you it will justify her own feelings for you and allow them to grow."

Ross Jeffries:

Scenario 1

Her: I can't make it. I've got a rare tropical disease that's causing me to shrink by the hour.

You: (dead silence for as long as it takes for her to talk again. Just say NOTHING!!!)

Her: Hello? Are you there? What's wrong?

You: What's wrong is I can't believe the bull**** I'm hearing.

Her: What?????

You: Look...you made a commitment to spend time with me and now you're blowing me off. You're disrespecting me and disrespecting my time and I'm NOT going to put up with it. My rule is, if someone makes a commitment to me, I expect them to keep it. If they can't keep it, I need to know at least a day in advance so I can make other plans. Got it? If you can live with that rule, great...if not, sayanora!

Then, HANG UP!!

Now, this may sound extreme, but man does it work well!!! In fact, she'll probably call back with five minutes and apologise and ask you out!!! I'm not kidding here; I've seen the hardest, jaded *****es go to giggly little girls, eager to please me when I've done this. It throws some kind of switch in their heads. I guess with some people, you don't really get their attention until... You Give Them A Swift Kick In The Ass!!

Scenario 2

You go to pick her up at her place and she either keeps you waiting outside for more than ten minutes, or lets you in and then proceeds to talk on the phone for at least that long while totally ignoring you. Wait for her to finish, and as soon as she does say something like this:

YOU: Can I ask you a question?

HER: Sure.

YOU: Are you being intentionally rude to test me, or are you just an accidental *******?

HER: (mouth dropping open in shock, unable to say anything!)

YOU: Don't ever keep me waiting like this again, ok? I'll always treat you respectfully, but I expect the same. Do you understand me?

HER: Uh… uh… yes.

YOU: Good. Let's see you make it up to me.

And at this point grab her and kiss her passionately. If you can, try to turn this into a **** then and there. Why give her an evening on the town and reward her rotten behaviour?
Now, does that answer your question?
 

comote

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Dudes don't think about it so hard, These posts with contrary theories, it has me dizzy. I thought we were just out to get laid. Unless you planned on marrying her just let it be.. Go find yourself another hot chick and forget it. If she calls you great if not, better.
 
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