How do I get a car to talk to me?

[SamePendo]

I can't get the females to talk to me, so now I want the car/s I own to talk to me!

I'm talking about as Knight Rider as you can get. Some audio software that talks to me (preferably in a womans voice), has some touchscreen stuff, and I guess some voice recognition software, so that it can answer to me.

I'm thinking about, you go to your car and turn it on, and depending on what time of the day it is, it goes "good morning/afternoon/night SamePendo". and if i took time to use it, "It's been a long time". Maybe something basic like asking (her) to turn up the music, switch the station, switch to cd, or something. To which she'd answer "Ofcourse SamePendo, anything else I can do to please you?", and other similar answers so it doesn't seem repetitive. Maybe even put it in so that she asks me out some time. It'd be funny to tell her:



"I'm sorry Dorothy, but me being a human and you a robot only means trouble, a evil cyborg could be born." Or something. And maybe, asking a specific question, like if I'm with a friend, I ask her: "Could you check the weather please Dorothy?" To which she'd answer "First sir, do I have your permission to run a scan on your companion? . . . . SamePendo, I've realized a gama ray scan on your companion, the male appears to have homosexual tendencies and enjoys sex with old men".

 

[Alle_Gory]

*Business Idea*

Don't you have some money lying around?

I'd be interested in a system like this. Maybe something that hooks up to the car via the OBDI & II interface to tell you what's wrong with the car when the warning lights come on.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

Hmmm....

Actually I'm an electrical engineer and this is definately one of my product ideas for future development.

High-tech car customization. I'm still amazed people don't have fully customized touch screen interfaces integrated into their cars.

A screen instead of a dash that displays all vital info and diagnostics in whatever color/mood scheme and style you want.

A large touch screen in the dash that controls A/C, wipers, lights, radio, GPS, displays diagnostics, and sets the mood of the car (imagine a bad a$$ sound driven display or a fish tank or "laser" light show etc...)

Carputers are a real hobby. People modify computers and integrate them into their car.

I want to take it to the next level. If someone beats me to it thats fine. If not I will seriously be developing the hardware/software within the next few years.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Talking cars went out in the 80's. I had one, looked like this:
http://memimage.cardomain.com/ride_images/1/2575/1241/6435620001_large.jpg

On Eddie Murphy's first comedy tape that came out in 1982, he talks about having a talking car. His joke is, though, that he bought the car in the ghetto, and it talks like it.

...I got in my car the other day, turned the key, and my car said, "awww, mannnn, somebody done stole ya battry. I say we go get the mutha fvcka."

 

[ketostix]

I wished someone would develop an affordable computer software for say a laptop where you could have full engine PCM access and bidirectional control to the same level as at least the OEM scanner and not cost about $4000+ like theirs does. The EPA required that automakers allow acces to their PCM coding but not their Body Control Module programming (back to needing the OEM scanner again and it's factory allowed limited control of programing). It would also be nice if GM and other automakers wouldn't charge you a $1000/year subscription for all their calibrations. And what's with paying for subscription for software and when you stop paying, poof it's gone?

ODB2 was touted as standardization and open access to all U.S. market cars. So much for that. What a nightmare it is for a tuner. Most of the more affordable and non-OEM diagnostic scanners are very limited in what they can do. My dream is to have one laptop with each automakers diagnostic software. You cannot even change the computer or the radio in most cars without that damn expensive oem scanner equip and calibration software. The same thing with factory service manuals. They put them online or on dvds and you have to pay like $1200/year for access and when you stop paying POOF it's gone. BS BS BS. And people wonder why late model cars cost so much to fix and hardly anyone really knows how to fix advanced problems.

 

[Desdinova]

The best thing I could think of is to have a voice recognition / speech software interfaced with artificial intelligence software. I'm actually kinda surprised noone's come up with that. Both pieces of software have been developed seperately.

As a side note, I'm gonna build a knock-off of that red scanner thing on the front of KITT and put it on my truck.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

Hmmm....

Actually I'm an electrical engineer and this is definately one of my product ideas for future development.

High-tech car customization. I'm still amazed people don't have fully customized touch screen interfaces integrated into their cars.

A screen instead of a dash that displays all vital info and diagnostics in whatever color/mood scheme and style you want.

A large touch screen in the dash that controls A/C, wipers, lights, radio, GPS, displays diagnostics, and sets the mood of the car (imagine a bad a$$ sound driven display or a fish tank or "laser" light show etc...)
I've had the same ideas for some time now. I'm also amazed noone did it by now. What the hell? What could be cooler than such an unusual dashboard? Instead they put LCDs, consoles and speakers whereever they can. Gross!

Carputers are a real hobby. People modify computers and integrate them into their car.

I want to take it to the next level. If someone beats me to it thats fine. If not I will seriously be developing the hardware/software within the next few years.

@desdinova: that KITT thing shouldn't be very hard to do; I'll be lurking around waiting for pics if you promise to will actually build it

 

[Bible_Belt]

I know a guy with a Kitt replica, minus the computer. My mechanic put a 383 stroker engine in his black '82 Trans Am.

 

[Duffdog]

I wished someone would develop an affordable computer software for say a laptop where you could have full engine PCM access and bidirectional control to the same level as at least the OEM scanner and not cost about $4000+ like theirs does. The EPA required that automakers allow acces to their PCM coding but not their Body Control Module programming (back to needing the OEM scanner again and it's factory allowed limited control of programing). It would also be nice if GM and other automakers wouldn't charge you a $1000/year subscription for all their calibrations. And what's with paying for subscription for software and when you stop paying, poof it's gone?

ODB2 was touted as standardization and open access to all U.S. market cars. So much for that. What a nightmare it is for a tuner. Most of the more affordable and non-OEM diagnostic scanners are very limited in what they can do. My dream is to have one laptop with each automakers diagnostic software. You cannot even change the computer or the radio in most cars without that damn expensive oem scanner equip and calibration software. The same thing with factory service manuals. They put them online or on dvds and you have to pay like $1200/year for access and when you stop paying POOF it's gone. BS BS BS. And people wonder why late model cars cost so much to fix and hardly anyone really knows how to fix advanced problems.

This is funny, I was just reading this thread from the beginning and had a chuckle. All the "new" ideas in this thread were already done in the late 90's --including the fully customizable instrument cluster. Simple Digital Systems makes replacement CPU's for every car which have all parameters completely programmable from your laptop...including the ability to fool OBDII smog computers and factory interface modules. As far as customizable BCM options, thats also easily done by replacing the BCU with a Carputer. Look that one up. It enables full control of the BCM via a laptop and touchscreen...

I was into this type of thing when I had a supercharged toyota tacoma and various outboard fuel management devices. One problem you will eventually run into with things of this nature is that many of the ideas you will come up with have already been patented and the people who own the patents are just waiting for someone to produce the product just so that they can sue you in order to make money.

Good luck!

 

[ketostix]

This is funny, I was just reading this thread from the beginning and had a chuckle. All the "new" ideas in this thread were already done in the late 90's --including the fully customizable instrument cluster. Simple Digital Systems makes replacement CPU's for every car which have all parameters completely programmable from your laptop...including the ability to fool OBDII smog computers and factory interface modules. As far as customizable BCM options, thats also easily done by replacing the BCU with a Carputer. Look that one up. It enables full control of the BCM via a laptop and touchscreen...

I was into this type of thing when I had a supercharged toyota tacoma and various outboard fuel management devices. One problem you will eventually run into with things of this nature is that many of the ideas you will come up with have already been patented and the people who own the patents are just waiting for someone to produce the product just so that they can sue you in order to make money.

Good luck!

Those options are cool and all if you want to custom program and tune a single car. But I don't want to take out the factory PCM or BCM and replace it with another expensive aftermarket PCM and BCM and replace the calibration that the automaker spent millions developing and voiding the warranty in the process. I would just like to have full factory scanner ability and service information loadable on a laptop without costing $4000 or more per car line, plus reocurring subscription fees.

It's just ridiculous that a person would have to spend so much to have full access to oem diagnostic and reprogramming ability. I guess manufactures can charge whatever they want for their software calibrations, but both the PCM and BCM code should be open and available to aftermarket diagnostic software vendors. A few hundred dollars would be a fair price for software to load on your PC and a connector that has full OEM level. Instead you have to buy a an OEM scanner for several $1000 and pay around $1000/year for calibration subscription. I just want the OEM diagnostic software on a laptop without costing an arm and a leg ugh.

 

[OzyBoy]

Turn the radio on. It talks alright. :rockon:

 

[azanon]

@desdinova: that KITT thing shouldn't be very hard to do; I'll be lurking around waiting for pics if you promise to will actually build it

It's been a few years since I read an article on it, but my understanding is that its actually very difficult to program a computer to have meaningful interaction. Back in the early 80s or so, someone developed the program ELIZA, and it would sort of spit back what you said in the form of questions or statements that gave the very crude illusion that it was actually understanding what you said. But here we are in 2009, and to my understanding, no one has been able to improve very much upon what ELIZA could do.

Correct me if I'm wrong on that, anyone.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

Desdinova was referring to the red led scroller, which is not an extraordinarily hard thing to do.

Meaningful interaction? Check out ALICE Bot. It's really cool.
http://alice.pandorabots.com
or
http://www.alicebot.org/join.html if you wish to pay for an advanced version & other things.


Here's a conversation between two bots:

J: How old are you?
A: I am 9 years old.
J: Nine? I don’t believe you : ).
A: : -) I don’t have any reason to deceive you.
J: Yes, you do, you’re a woman.

hahahaha

http://digg.com/software/Two_chat_bots_Alice_and_Jabberwacky_converse_with_each_other

Later edit:
Oh:

Type a comment to ALICE, and it checks the phrase and its key words for a response coded to those words. In contrast, Jabberwacky, another top-rated Internet bot produced by Rollo Carpenter, keeps track of everything people have said to it, and tries to reuse those statements by matching them to the writer’s input.
Neither chatbot has long-term memory, so they respond only to the last sentence written.
They do generate

Nonetheless, the cool factor is still high

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

What, you don't have On-Star? I can't get that b!tch to shut up.
:nervous:

 

[Maxtro]

"Hello car, how are you doing today?"

"Service engine soon light is illuminated"

"What is the cause of the problem"

"The engine is in need of service"

/facepalm

I know with out technology level it's possible to have a car give you feedback and status updates on it's mechanics.

It only needs to be able to recognized a few simple commands to be effective.

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://www.last.fm/music/Eddie+Murphy/_/Talking+Cars