how do i become ... THAT GUY

[emelec]

you know the guy who has amazing social proof. when he walks into the room people line up to give him high fives. the guy ppl are excited to see or is the first guy people HAVE to call first when they make plans to do something. the guy ppl open up to. a complete social machine. i have tried to be him but for some reason it doesnt work. like if i talk to some guy or girl theyll most likley pass by me the next day. or when i try to relate to them it doesnt work the convo seems to die down. as if they want to end the conversation quickly. or at best ill get a oh hey whats up man and thats it. so are there any tips from you soial butterflies that would help me become THAT GUY? lol itd really e appreciated since college is starting soon.

 

[Brighty]

Well, I mean you dont have to be a social butterfly with just the popular kids. I'm a social butterfly with the average to semi-popular kids and its actually landed me in the popular category, now I'm hanging out with popular kids/old friends and I'm still a social butterfly with the semi-popular kids. My advice is to read the HS bible (ALL of it) sticky and then you should have a better idea of how to act. Good luck!

 

[emelec]

well not necessarily the popular kids i just want people to be more open to me and like actually WANT to talk to me and hang out.

 

[Brighty]

its kind of hard to provide advice when I dont realy know you, whats your personallity like? Introvert or extrovert? Hobbies/activities? Do you want to be a social butterfly because you want that or because you want to to be popular/get girls?

 

[emelec]

i am deffinatley an introvert. i want to change that. and the side effect of making friends with everyone i guess would be popular and and turn it would get me more chances at meeting girls. but i just dont want to be that quiet kid anymore i mean have the ability at times to be the center of attention but its inconsistent. i just want to hang out with people who want to hang out with me. not just a simple hey man whats up and then we stop talking.

 

[Alkali]

I can help you. But you need confidence. It's so easy.

1. Hit on some ugly girls.
a. Ugly women like you
b. They blather on about you to their (hot) friends.
c. You get to know their friends.
2. Hit on the hot girls
a. You've had practice with all them ugly women (jargon is fun)
b. Guys will notice you hitting on all them hot girls
c. You'll be a party animal
3. Enjoy your company at all times
a. With hot and ugly girls clawwing at you, guys are entertained by you.
4. Have fun at all those parties.
a. Soon the ugly women will give up.
b. and you'll be the life of any party

I made this transaction in eighth grade. Just suck up your pride.

Yes, ugly 'hoes' (double entendre, baby) are the key.

 

[i am me]

u need to focus on gettin to kno one person at a time. when ur with someone (girl or guy), connect with em. talk to em, make em laugh, do things, hav a good time....when u really try to connect with whoevers around u, and u dont put pressure on yourself to be THAT GUY, youll slowly begin to become wut u want to be. cool guys dont think to themselves: I want to be cool. they do dorky things sometimes but they do it on their terms. they dont do anything they dont wanna do...remember that

 

[War Against Betaism]

That guy that you're referring to is usually seen as a natural leader. The reason they all line up to have high fives, call them first for plans, is because they have put their trust in him because he brings an aura that he's the one that knows what to do, and everyone looks up to him.

Some traits as a leader:
- Is always the one to lead
- Doesn't take **** from anyone
- Usually isn't the one that complains under any circumstance
- Helps others when in need, and not the wussy way
- Has good social skills
- Is confident
- Takes their time

The reason why it's so easy for them to go up to any person and talk is not only because of social skills, but mostly because they have the confidence of a leader. That paves the way for some of the other skills you learn here, but aren't able to execute because you don't have enough confidence in yourself.

 

[Eugene123]

Seems like u need to get the basic skills down. I recommend doing this
http://pickup101.com/ebook/30Days.zip (IT is REALLY REALLY REALLY HELPFUL)

And it's really easy to do.

 

[Plec07]

Your following the same path to get girls as I did, and you sound a lot like I was before I found this site. What I'll say now is you gotta get your head down and just take chances when those opportunities arise that allow you to be the centre of attention. You gotta do it regardless of what others might think about you. Never miss an opportunity. Eventually you'll start to realise people do like you and they will start to like you even more. This will in turn build your confidence and then being the centre of attention will be second nature to you, you'll start getting pissed off at the fact people won't leave you alone and you'll have too many girls around you to handle and you'll start wishing you weren't quite as popular .

Add me on AIM as plec07 or if you only have msn send me a PM with yours and I'll add you. Reading your post really reminded me of how I used to be and makes me want to personally help you become what you want.

 

[sandman6991]

Sounds a lot like my situation...good luck man!

 

[Cronus]

I have posted this before but here it goes

I assume u are talking about getting a better social circle, getting in to all the parties and being known as the guy to call and hang out with, and the one that all the girls want to date

Your first few weeks are important, everyone is new and getting to know each other.

1st be friendly w/ everyone and get everyones number.

*Get people together to go out.* Call up ppl that you think are cool and do stuff. Ex. movies, work-out, get somethin to eat, studyin, *parties*. If u get a bunch of ppl together to go to the movies, it social proofs you as the cool guy. Also, later on, ppl will invite you to do things w/ them to return the favor. This lets you meet more ppl.

Become friends with a lot of girls. DONT hit on them. There are sooo many girls out there. If you are a cool guy, they will introduce you to their friends and you get instant social proof. It makes things a lot easier. Also, some girls join sororities

After awhile, ppl will form groups that they hang out w/ 90% of the time. When, u have met some cool ppl, just start inviting the same ppl out over and over again. As they get comfortable around each-other, they will form a nice small group.
*Note*: One thing I have noticed is that u need a small group of ppl for them to get comfortable around each-other, somethin like 3-4 ppl. So you invite, say, just 3 ppl out w/ you to dinner. Start the conversations, then SHUT UP and let them talk and gain rapport.

I hope this helps, if u need more help/clarification PM me