How did you look at women after being with a bpd

[Infern0]

It's fine when kept to it's own little corner. But I have been rudely accosted with it.

Fact is about 1% of women have it. And i'd say that's about correct for people's amature diagnoses of it too.

Going into a thread telling someone that their girlfriend is very seriously psychologically ill, rather than just being female, isn't on and needs to be reigned in imo.

Naturally, everyone leaves you guys to it, because these threads can be a bit miserable. So you guys never hear any contrary views, or get challenged by some good sense.

I had one of them who had been diagnosed twice by seperate psychs.

I can yell you she did push a lad to suicide, and has gotten around a lot. She was 19 when i was with her and had been through over 25 guys.

So the percentage of them is something like 8% i belive, but they get through vastly more guys than "regular" women and they do serious damage.

Now, there IS clearly overdiagnosis, theres levels to this **** and your average hbb with mild daddy issues is nothing compared to what a true bpd is.

This site IS one of few places guys who HAVE had a true bpd can go to, and the attitude of just brushing it off or accusing people of making it up is not the go.

True BPD'S can cause serious mental trauma that as ive witnessed can lead to anything from losing your job to commiting suicide so I'd err on the side of caution when people think they have been with one. Usually if you have been with one, you know it.

 

[Infern0]

The percentage of people with any personality disorder is less than 10%. While I'm sure one or two guys here legitimately dated one person with BDP, I doubt several guys here did and very much doubt anyone dated more than one person with it, and if they did, I would question where they are meeting girls with mental conditions that represent less than 10% of the population.

Well if it's 10% then if there were 10 members on this site who had all only ever dated ONE woman, odds are there would be a poster who had dated one.

If we had 20 members who had all dated 2 women, then 4 of them would have.

We have hundreds of members who have dated 1000s of women.

Theres going to be more than a couple of people who HAVE dated them

They are 10/1, not 1000000/1

 

[Infern0]

No mention of what you are.

Because you are the victim in all that.

So no need to learn anything.

It's an extremely convenient frame.

It's a shame that it doesn't hold up to any sort of infield testing.

This'll be too complex to explain fully but guys who get in with BPDs often come from families that do have a lot of mental illness in them. This is why a lot of guys who had decent parents will spot a crazy ***** and just steer clear but a fuy who had a ****ed up mum will be drawn to a bpd and see her as just needing help etc.

It is trained in from the start, but what i will say is that people need to learn from their mistakes (me included) and take responsibility once they do know.

Anyway last post on this thread for me, its been done to death

 

[051AV]

Wow, this describes my ex perfectly. Mine was in therapy though. She said for PTSD (molestation when she was young I believe) but she also had a 100% match for all BPD traits. She hates her mother and wants to go see her "suffer" as she has cancer and lives 1500 miles away. The jealously was insane and irrational. Our big blowout came when I merely glanced at another woman at the dog park. BPD flipped out and had a meltdown for the ages. We were allegedly in an exclusive relationship when this happened. After our blowout she called a beta male orbiter to pick her up from my house and I never heard from her or saw her again. That was almost 6 months ago. Have been NC since. Who the f*uck needs it. Life is WAY to short to compromise your values and character for a hot girl who may give great sex but acts like a 12 year old brat with no moral compass.

Most BPD chicks won't deal with a DJ or alpha because they cannot control them. They usually leave after a fight and hookup with a beta male--that they can control. Really screwed up way to live. It's sad, but they honestly cannot help it as it's the way their brain is mis-wired.

My ex would be a perfect woman if she wasn't a BPD, smart, attractive, sadly she is too messed up to be with, she claimed she hated her father, her family dis-owned her for years, her mom couldn't control her. She loved control it didn't matter who it was she is a little control freak, she p*ssed a lot of her co-workers off because she wanted control. The guy she replace me with jumps to every finger snap what she wants she gets, he's a beta male you google beta male there would be a picture of him. I don't tolerate being controlled she tried it with me she found out I do what I want to do, I think it scared her that she couldn't manipulate me like she does with 90% of the guys she comes across. The 12 year old brat is correct she would sure act like one, she used to baby talk as well, I did see a real childish side to her, I've later read BPDs are emotionally stunted. She was the one woman in my life that the fights were intense they were emotional fights she would get furious. Been NC with her over 2 years, life is good

 

[wolf]

Just gonna chip in with my own comment on this.

I 'believe' I dated a girl who had npd/bpd with sociopathic traits almost 3 years ago. On top of that she had an excess of testosterone (diagnosed by dr).
I knew from the first date that something wasn' right. My gut was knotted and this voice popped up in the back of my head and said "go home and don't contact this girl again". I didn't know what that meant so ignored it as I knew I could easily score with this 5/10 chick that night.
Within 1 month I thought it could be love. By 3 months I had bad anxiety. 5 months and I was on anti depressants and had suicidal ideation.
What I didn' realise is that chick was a perfect blend of..

My Mom (bpd)
My Dad (npd)
My Stepdad (npd)
My Stepdads Wife (bpd)
My Mom's long term bf (psychopath)

All 5 caused me emotional pain as a kid and all 5 abused me in some way.. psychologically, sexually, verbally, emotionally, physically as well as abandoning me.

This chick bought all of those old feelings to the surface. She didnt cause me new pain instead it was old pain and I had to confront all of that **** in one go through her with no understanding of it.

I have had my fair share of women and was successful with dating and bedding women etc but this girl just caught me by the balls and tried to castrate me.

She wasnt the best looking girl and I knew Id had better but I fell for her magic show. Thanks to her I am now an all round better Man and still in Therapy dealing with my childhood issues that I would never have faced if I'd never met her. She was a necessary evil and i regret nothing but putting that rope around my neck seemed so easy to do 3 years ago.

So let's stop all this hating on one another and just realise that each Man must walk his own path in life. We are here to share our story so that other Men may learn. Perhaps even so before they too decide that they can't handle it anymore and feel like checking out.

Be better, be you, be free

Peace
Wolf

 

[Speculator E]

My ex would be a perfect woman if she wasn't a BPD, smart, attractive, sadly she is too messed up to be with, she claimed she hated her father, her family dis-owned her for years, her mom couldn't control her. She loved control it didn't matter who it was she is a little control freak, she p*ssed a lot of her co-workers off because she wanted control. The guy she replace me with jumps to every finger snap what she wants she gets, he's a beta male you google beta male there would be a picture of him. I don't tolerate being controlled she tried it with me she found out I do what I want to do, I think it scared her that she couldn't manipulate me like she does with 90% of the guys she comes across. The 12 year old brat is correct she would sure act like one, she used to baby talk as well, I did see a real childish side to her, I've later read BPDs are emotionally stunted. She was the one woman in my life that the fights were intense they were emotional fights she would get furious. Been NC with her over 2 years, life is good

Good job staying NC. They are like an addiction in my experience. Did she ever hoover? My recent BPD ex is currently doing that but in a strange way. I've been getting spoofed phone calls from random phone numbers but all have the area code and first three digits being the same (they are the same area code and first 3 digits as my cell number). It's highly likely it's her doing it. I never answer though. Been NC for over a year now and to be honest was starting miss her. But this thread reminds me why I don't want her back.

 

[Speculator E]

On one hand since leaving my bpd/npd ex i am grateful to see how amazing and kind some women can actually be....however the realization that i spent several years of my life with a sick person still has a slight affect on me.

This was not your typical npd this woman was sick on another level. I really do think she is capable of killing someone. Hopefully she gets help and doesn’t but may the lord help the next guy with her.

It was very easy for me to ignore her recycle attempts because disgusted is not even a word. I saw her slash tires, spit in people’s drinks, laugh about her friend being hit by a car, pick up knives and come towards me, manipulate herself out of being in trouble with the cops. Her family also contacted me afrer the breakup to told me how abusive she was and how she ruined her self esteem.

I am no angel...but i do know that i do have the ability to genuinely care about other people. I am just disgusted knowing that women/people like this actually exist. I am ashamed i let her so deep in my life..especially now that i see what is out there.

It’s a scary thought for us guys that want kids, be very careful who you breed with fellas. Couldn’t pay me enough to **** a bpd raw even if she said she’s on the pill.

Just think how lucky you are that you didn't marry her and had kids. The guy who is trapped in a 20 years marriage with a crazy BPD who abuses him almost every single day. That could've been you. I frequent a BPD forum for abused loved ones and I hear similar stories about that. Think of it as a small mistake and life lesson learned. You make small mistake early so you don't make the big mistakes later on in life. The big mistake here would have been if you ended up trying to marry them.

 

[wolf]

Just think how lucky you are that you didn't marry her and had kids. The guy who is trapped in a 20 years marriage with a crazy BPD who abuses him almost every single day. That could've been you. I frequent a BPD forum for abused loved ones and I hear similar stories about that. Think of it as a small mistake and life lesson learned. You make small mistake early so you don't make the big mistakes later on in life. The big mistake here would have been if you ended up trying to marry them.

Just like my cousin did and his wife is diagnosed bpd and has been in psychiatric care several times. They have 2 kids both kids have problems emotional/mental.

 

[skinnyguy]

I dated my first BPD this year (2017 was the year of bad dates, can’t wait for it to be over). It made me stay away from women for a while. I started thinking I was WAY better off single than with a BPD. Luckily the relationship didn’t go that far. Can’t imagine what it’s like to be in a serious relationship with one.

 

[051AV]

Good job staying NC. They are like an addiction in my experience. Did she ever hoover? My recent BPD ex is currently doing that but in a strange way. I've been getting spoofed phone calls from random phone numbers but all have the area code and first three digits being the same (they are the same area code and first 3 digits as my cell number). It's highly likely it's her doing it. I never answer though. Been NC for over a year now and to be honest was starting miss her. But this thread reminds me why I don't want her back.

I haven't heard from her, I don't think I will either, she claims I intimidate and scare her, I think its the fact she can't control me like she does with other guys, she learned the word no from me. I miss her as well but I know she will never change she will always be damaged goods I look at her past its been a train wreck since she was a early teenager she's in her 30s now.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Guy searches internet to classify her as a type of mental illness (or gets encouraged by others to do so).

Guy then takes that frame (understanding of the world) around with him. And it's how he makes sense of things.

Confirmation bias caused by cognitive dissonance. That’s my unprofessional diagnosis.

My older sister would flip out and scream and yell, is suicidal, 44 years old and cant even maintain a bank account. Seriously she stress of having a bank account is too muhlch anxiety for her to handle dealing woth over drafting. 4 years ago i bought her a tv for xmas because she didnt have 200$ for one. At 40 years old.
She can't work a job with responsibilty because the stress puts her in a bed for a week. She will quit a job with expectation. And she isnt stupid this is the disorder. She is quite briliant actually when it comes to writing and drawing or painting. She is ridciculously artistic but cant function in normal society. She has no credit. Its ruined because paying bills on time was too much she got behind the just quit. This is not normal functioning.

Psshht, this sounds like my sister who’s only 20. Then again, I hate her and cannot stand her lol

but a fuy who had a ****ed up mum will be drawn to a bpd and see her as just needing help etc.

We all need help dude.