How did you look at women after being with a bpd

[captain55]

On one hand since leaving my bpd/npd ex i am grateful to see how amazing and kind some women can actually be....however the realization that i spent several years of my life with a sick person still has a slight affect on me.

This was not your typical npd this woman was sick on another level. I really do think she is capable of killing someone. Hopefully she gets help and doesn’t but may the lord help the next guy with her.

It was very easy for me to ignore her recycle attempts because disgusted is not even a word. I saw her slash tires, spit in people’s drinks, laugh about her friend being hit by a car, pick up knives and come towards me, manipulate herself out of being in trouble with the cops. Her family also contacted me afrer the breakup to told me how abusive she was and how she ruined her self esteem.

I am no angel...but i do know that i do have the ability to genuinely care about other people. I am just disgusted knowing that women/people like this actually exist. I am ashamed i let her so deep in my life..especially now that i see what is out there.

It’s a scary thought for us guys that want kids, be very careful who you breed with fellas. Couldn’t pay me enough to **** a bpd raw even if she said she’s on the pill.

 

[noBSgames]

Now that I saw my ex and her signs I see it a lot in others very much so dating profiles.. and speaking shes still trying to recycle even when married told me close friend her marriage was out of "love" and when she told me this I almost fell out of my chair laughing because the reason why she said that was my friend she's getting married soon to my best friend of 24 years and she offered to help her get a wedding planner.. I swear man I don't know if she knows what comes out of her mouth and how stupid she sounds.. she told her off in a nice way saying I don't do arranged marriages.

 

[exhausted]

They're cruel and have the mouth of a snake.
They flip out and rage over nothing to perposterous degree. I've never been talked to so horribly in my life, over nothing.

I was more in shock than anything by this chaotic behavior. And i have been kicked out of one basketball game and a baseball game for fighting and suspended from school in jr high and high school once each again for fighting (bad temper when young but I am complete opposite as an adult) .
And I was SHOCKED by their violent behavior. What's that tell you?

 

[Billtx49]

And I was SHOCKED by their violent behavior. What's that tell you?

It tells me that with her low functioning disorder level, be glad she stayed verbal and wasn’t the type that takes her rage into the physical realm. Some do. Could have been fists, knife, or gun. Matter of fact, I would bet if you come across a woman that claims her ex beat her, you have found a physical rager that started that process with a weak man.
Count yourself lucky your girl was only verbal guy…

 

[noBSgames]

Mine would laugh when she got pissed or if you pissed her off she would listen to heavy metal and she tried to drink my whole bottle of wine.. shes 230lbs and I'm a little over 145lbs I had to throw her on the bed to get her to sit down and stop trying to go in my cabinet trying to drink whatever I had...

 

[Billtx49]

Mine would laugh when she got pissed or if you pissed her off she would listen to heavy metal and she tried to drink my whole bottle of wine.. shes 230lbs and I'm a little over 145lbs I had to throw her on the bed to get her to sit down and stop trying to go in my cabinet trying to drink whatever I had...

Yes, some of women internalize their rage and discomfort also. Self medication to excess possible, but usually physical self harm. The personality base and her internal issues determine how a woman reacts to issues they’re not emotionally equipped in an uncomfortable situation to handle rationally.

 

[noBSgames]

Yes, some of women internalize their rage and discomfort also. Self medication to excess possible, but usually physical self harm. The personality base and her internal issues determine how a woman reacts to issues they’re not emotionally equipped in an uncomfortable situation to handle rationally.

It was really stressful that night

 

[exhausted]

Yes, some of women internalize their rage and discomfort also. Self medication to excess possible, but usually physical self harm. The personality base and her internal issues determine how a woman reacts to issues they’re not emotionally equipped in an uncomfortable situation to handle rationally.

My ex told me she smoked pot daily for 4 years because she was miserable.
I was like wtf. Disgusting.

She also would say all the time she doesn't deal well with stress. But always made stress out of NOTHING

 

[Infern0]

Well obviously BPD women are particularly extreme cases, however my experience of over 2 years with one of them did change my whole perspective on things a lot.

Prior to my BPD experience i was living a blue pill reality, thanks to my mother who raised me being sonewhere on the BPD spectrum herself, she was a perpetual victim and feminist who did everything she could to purge all masculinity from me. So for a long time i did belive women were these precious angels and the men who slept with lots of them were bad guys who were taking advantage of them...

But if i had to point out the biggest lesson i learned which i belive applies to virtually all women it's this.

Women, by nature are HYPERGAMOUS.

DUDES will take a flawed woman and try to fix her up or just deal with the fact she has failings. And dudes will a lot of times be loyal even in the face of a "better offer" because we have a sense of honour and can be satisfied with a "good enough" GF.

Women, they will trade up if they get an offer to. Doesnt matter how long you have been together or any of that, if you go through a rough patch and some new dude whos doing a bit better comes into her life she will be off like a shot.

 

[051AV]

After you've been with a BPD woman it makes you a lot more aware you've become programmed to spot the issues before you start getting too involved with a woman that has issues. The worst part about being with a BPD chick is the recovery period where you put the pieces of the puzzle back together and you say to your self what the phuck happened. They try make your life messed up and dysfunctional like theirs, the toxicity they create spills on to you and it affects you mental well being. My ex is a high functioning BPD nobody in the outside world knew she had issues, she's caused my replacement so much stress in his life he's had a heart attack. You have to be strong and stand up to these women never let them walk all over you never let them have the upper hand, I always stood up to my ex she pushed I pushed back.

 

[exhausted]

After you've been with a BPD woman it makes you a lot more aware you've become programmed to spot the issues before you start getting too involved with a woman that has issues. The worst part about being with a BPD chick is the recovery period where you put the pieces of the puzzle back together and you say to your self what the phuck happened. They try make your life messed up and dysfunctional like theirs, the toxicity they create spills on to you and it affects you mental well being. My ex is a high functioning BPD nobody in the outside world knew she had issues, she's caused my replacement so much stress in his life he's had a heart attack. You have to be strong and stand up to these women never let them walk all over you never let them have the upper hand, I always stood up to my ex she pushed I pushed back.

Yep they are straight chaos and dysfunction.
Like you i stood up as well and that meant constant arguing and bs.
They are a heartless souless breed and lsck intelligence

 

[noBSgames]

After you've been with a BPD woman it makes you a lot more aware you've become programmed to spot the issues before you start getting too involved with a woman that has issues. The worst part about being with a BPD chick is the recovery period where you put the pieces of the puzzle back together and you say to your self what the phuck happened. They try make your life messed up and dysfunctional like theirs, the toxicity they create spills on to you and it affects you mental well being. My ex is a high functioning BPD nobody in the outside world knew she had issues, she's caused my replacement so much stress in his life he's had a heart attack. You have to be strong and stand up to these women never let them walk all over you never let them have the upper hand, I always stood up to my ex she pushed I pushed back.

Man this is so true.. my ex I remember her telling me that her ex was going to jump off a bridge because she did not want to be with him or some crap like that.. if she cared or not I don't know.. I know she has a habit of drunk calling her exes as she says.. then she would come to me telling me she did a bad thing by doing that. We had a two year relationship together but some stuff she said was really red flags and I wished I ran.. even if it was almost two years.. more so when she told me her mom said "I'm surprised you are still with him" now that I look back on this everything was planned.. the fact she married this guy back in her country and told me she loved me and missed me the night before I could care less what she does..

To this day she still posts these stupid things trying to find info on me or acting around if I found anyone.. WHO CARES!! instead of trying to find out worry about your husband who is over 1,000 miles away.. I have no clue why Spanish women do that.. the more I think about this the very start of our relationship I remember her talking about her family wanted her to marry this guy but she did not want to and all that BS well look here 3 years later.

also her friends I don't suspect they know.. she would always tell them the bad the guy has done.. but damn how in the hell is it not obvious she slowly faded me out of her social media profile then only her family knew I was still around her then next thing you know she blocked me (good) and she started posting her pictures of her wedding and all..

Man now I know why everyone was like ah man when I told them I was dating a Dominican girl..

 

[exhausted]

I really think this bpd things is jokes. A weird way to look at life.

I had a guy on here recently claim that my choosing not to break things off with women in person "is creating bpd in women".

Op of this thread has claimed elsewhere that "broke guys get bpd chicks". "High quality women only go out with the rich".

LARaider has claimed that I'm bpd.

Exausted reckons all modern women are bpd.

So on, and so forth.

You guys might not realize, but looking from the outside it's like a little cult. Where every behaviour that falls foul of your particular needs for that particular human being gets pathologized as suppossedly having a very serious mental condition.

Which, i'm quite sure could itself be framed as a sort of narcissism (if I were so inclined).

This, gentleman, is no way to spend your 30's. And it's getting pretty weird how it pops up in normal discussion, like it's normal - when it isn't.

Breaking up with women isn't causing bpd. A woman spitting in a cup isn't bpd. A woman divorcing a rich guy isn't bpd. A woman not wanting the d isn't bpd. Women disrespecting you isn't bpd. Someone rejecting that frame generally as a lense through which to view all interactions with women isn't bpd.

Personal responsibility, gents. Start there.

Haha made me laugh a bit. No most women are worthless and there are damaged women that are bpd from abuse and others when raised spoiled brats bpd traits are main characteristics of their personality.

You also have to do the math of all the millions of healthy relationships that will never come to this forum. People are here because of problems and one main one being bpd or npd traited women. So even if a thousand of us are on here citing a bpd, there are 100 million that aren't , meaning maybe most of us are right if not who would come here for insight?

 

[noBSgames]

I know what I had to deal with and she definitely hit all the signs

 

[AJ84]

The percentage of people with any personality disorder is less than 10%. While I'm sure one or two guys here legitimately dated one person with BDP, I doubt several guys here did and very much doubt anyone dated more than one person with it, and if they did, I would question where they are meeting girls with mental conditions that represent less than 10% of the population.

 

[Billtx49]

The percentage of people with any personality disorder is less than 10%.

I would question where they are meeting girls with mental conditions that represent less than 10% of the population.

Anywhere, anytime. That’s an irrational and non realistic last statement. If 10% of the guys out there are azzholes, will you never come across one lady, or do you just need to meet them in azzhole clubs?

To answer the OP’s question, I see her red flags immediatelly now and Not rationalize them away as I did in the past.

 

[exhausted]

Go read my thread on npd traits those are ALL honest stories. Like 10 or more.
My ex was diagnosed bipolar with npd traits by 2 diff psycholgists over 4 year period. She admitted this to me.

My oldest sister, has a wonderful loving heart but is manic depressive bipolar.
They have similar traits. Chaos growing up and the same with the exgf. My mom said my sister would cause so much chaos i woukd leave the house on my bike at 12 years old and go to the park and shoot basketball for 4 hours straight just to get y from the warzone she created.

My older sister would flip out and scream and yell, is suicidal, 44 years old and cant even maintain a bank account. Seriously she stress of having a bank account is too muhlch anxiety for her to handle dealing woth over drafting. 4 years ago i bought her a tv for xmas because she didnt have 200$ for one. At 40 years old.
She can't work a job with responsibilty because the stress puts her in a bed for a week. She will quit a job with expectation. And she isnt stupid this is the disorder. She is quite briliant actually when it comes to writing and drawing or painting. She is ridciculously artistic but cant function in normal society. She has no credit. Its ruined because paying bills on time was too much she got behind the just quit. This is not normal functioning.

I was dating my ex about a year, we stopped at subway and the credit card machine was out so we couldn't buy anything. I said lets go somewhere else to eat no biggie she said no, we came home and she went to bed at 530pm. I tried to talk to her she ignored me for ten mins. Like wtf? Layed in my bed and wouldnt even talk to me because subway wtf. She went to sleep till 10 pm then came out, yelled at me and stormed out the fuchin door to go home. Like wtf? I was sitting there confused. I still am. I dont own subway i didnt break the cc machine why the fuch was i punished with the silent treattment and screamed at 5 hours later then bailed on?

These are npd and bpd responses to normal life.

They can not handle anything and punish and take it out on you. Thats the thing they ggrest you as their punching bag.

Im not complaining about a girl who wont bang or ltr me. Im complaining about a girl who hides her crazy bpd for a year then it comes out and kills your soul. After they act like this they behave extremely loving for a few weeks then do it again. This comes out once you are connected for the long run. Not a month on spinnig plates.

 

[Billtx49]

This comes out once you are connected for the long run. Not a month on spinnig plates.

Amen. Once you eventually get too emotionally close to her, the crazy demon comes out of it’s hiding place and slaps you across the head.…
Once you’ve lived through a tsunami, in person, you know without a doubt how it impacted your perception of reality, and have no need to argue that experience with inexperienced men.

 

[051AV]

People that have never been with a BPD woman or a woman that has a mental illness don't understand, its very real, it can be really scary, if your not careful it can cause you health problems and screw you up mentally.

 

[noBSgames]

People that have never been with a BPD woman or a woman that has a mental illness don't understand, its very real, it can be really scary, if your not careful it can cause you health problems and screw you up mentally.

So true... my ex the other day said no matter which way I turn I'll always be there.. wtf?? you are married now.. so why??