How did you handle it past 30?

MarcoLTSX

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HI guys!

Here is the story:

Back in college I was heavily into Pickup, dating, and used all the popular methods out there at the time. I did pretty good. Had several girlfriends (mostly open relationships), experienced one 4-some, had a lot of crazy sexual adventures, and lived my best life ever overall...

Then at 25, after a series of terrible jobs (life after college is ****ing not fun at all...), I decided to go live abroad and build my own business online. Long story short, it worked, but crashed during cov!d and I had to go back home where I no longer had any connections (Everyone from college just left into other towns, and the few I talked to... It seemed like we were completely disconnected then.)

Today, I’m 29, I’m rebuilding my business from scratch (after a long covid-depression), I know it will be okay financially as I’ve already done it before, but something else catches my mind: I feel like my tastes and desires with women have completely changed.



When I was abroad, I had an LTR with a 35yo Chinese woman (looked way younger, and very energetic.) The breakup with her due to distance was part of my depression. This year, after rebuilding my mental health, I tried going back in bars, clubs, and bringing chicks home. My skills are still there, I still get the results, but it doesn’t feel the same anymore.

I don’t get much joy anymore from bringing home 18–25-year-olds. I even end up being their “dad-figure” in most cases; not that I want it, but they keep asking me questions about life when they hear about my past...

My town is a small student town. When I was a student myself, it was great, but today, I can’t find a single bar or night environment that is not designed only for very young people. The few 30yo I’ve met so far here were boring to death and severely depressed (maybe just because I was in a bad phase myself, but still...)

I also noticed that since the time I lived in Asia, I had way more trouble to connect with people on a deeper level back here in Europe. I talk about my experiences, and they nod their head, but they can’t relate, and don’t understand why I don’t feel “at home” here.



I still deeply love nightlife and want to be around people at night, I’m a social butterfly, but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. The way I see it now, the best option is: as soon as my business is fully operational again, to move back in a big city where (from my experience) it’s easier to find people from all walks of life in night/party environments.

But I wanted, if possible, some points of views of people who already passed the early thirties (or are literally into their 40s) and can relate, or have some insights, ideas, shared-experiences, or comments about this situation.



You can help?
 

Dr.Suave

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You are still pulling 18-25 year olds. I dont see any problem here but that will not last foerever, enjoy while you can.
 

Killakittie

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I had something similar happen to me at 29 where I had a mini existential crisis. All in all it was just me getting older and my preferences and expectations changing. I would just recommend listening to yourself, pay attention to the "new norm" and rediscover who you are. Just like how our tastebuds change every 7 years we also change and evolve over time. Maybe this is the first time this has happened to you and you think there's something wrong. There isn't/

PS: When I was 29 I had a 19 yr old gf who I was with until like 32...So you're good man. Now at 38 I still get 25yr old's who overtly flirt with me in public even though I'm far less interested in dating and going out like I used too.
 

Jesse Pinkman

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If you are over the age of 25, you have zero place in a college town or any small town. If you are a single guy in your 30s, big cities are the only legitimate option. I used to feel the way you do when I was spending my early 20s in a college town. You get the pressure to mature faster and think life ends at 30 or even 25. You have to reprogram yourself by moving to a world class city, only way you can keep the game lifestyle going.
 
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