How did YOU conquer Approach/Coversation....?

[Malachi]

Ok so there are alot us guy's who have ****s but really don't use them alot as were **** at..or won't or even afraid to approach that would find some comfort in hearing how the real dj's on this forum managed to conquer the approach, and the conversation that follow's...like i guess chat-up line or the first few sentences i guess.

I do approach every now and again, when the op is there and i'm not feeling like a wimp....but i think i fail on the conversation side of this...just want to know how you guy's managed.

Please don't direct me to the bible which i've read a few times...i wanna get FRESH opinions....as times change and so do people.

-Malachi

ON A SIDE NOTE: i send that i was a skinny guy who couldn't gain weight....i've now gained like 3-4lbs....not much, but to someone who finds it impossible to gain weight...it's good!.

 

[Brak86]

Wow, conversation. The one thing that haunted me the most about DJing. I was grown up with no sisters and at an all-boy school. I fault that (not to mention not being a natural) for not being good at conversation.

But i conquered conversation over time. Its a really slow process (atleast for me), and im still not great at it.

I was basically conversation retarded for many years of my life. Therefore, what i had to do was listen to people. I listened to my friends, i really payed attention to what everyone talked about with each other. What did i come up with? Really fleeting, unimportant stuff. Most people talk about what they have been doing/what they are gonna do in the future. Also, people talk about other people A LOT (friends, family, enemies etc). Also, what i have noticed is that people repeat things to other people (i dont know if they consciously realize this or just that everyone forgets). But ive noticed people that go to a person and tells them about something, only to come back a week later and tell them the same thing. The more confident i became, the better i become at conversation. You really have to learn to say WHATEVER is on your mind. That is the msot important thing ever. DO not think about what the reactions will be from your words. Just voice your goddamn opinion.

 

[Distant Light]

Well there is actually one thing that trys to stop everyone and thats approach axiety, everyone gets it some get it more than others. This is what causes most people to freeze up but if they are actually practicing and learning they will start to see improvement. Only way you could get good with the conversation is if you learn the elements in the seduction world. (Such as what are negs, C&F, hoop theory, Screening,etc) Most people here don't know what there doing they just go in str8 for the rapport or eject early because they run out of things. Like seriously, I've always wondered how the hell does anyone not have anything to say, if you were talking with your friend you could talk all day but this one time your with a hot girl and you can only hold a conversation for 2 mins.

I don't even feel like explaining opening and all that, too me though it may seem the hardest but it is by far the easiest if you know what your doing.

 

[Malachi]

Yeah it's just the hardest thing i find is the first like 2-3 sentences that comes outta my mouth...like the first thing you say to them.

 

[Dude2Stud]

Same problem here, it's not hard approaching for me, but holding the conversation.

 

[tobby]

orignally posted by Distant Light

Like seriously, I've always wondered how the hell does anyone not have anything to say, if you were talking with your friend you could talk all day but this one time your with a hot girl and you can only hold a conversation for 2 mins

When you talk to your friends they're interested and also try to help in the conversation. When you run out of things to say, you or the other person will add to the conversation or think of something. Some girls tend to just stand there and act "pissed". Usually if girls were more receptive sometimes it would be easier, but I guess that also adds to the screening process.

Another example, let's say a girl approaches you. (Even if it's not to hit on you.) Do you just stand there silently and stare at her? (Most people don't, if you do then you need some confidence lessons ) If she starts the convo, you usually try and talk to her and help the conversation. She probably walks too if you don't do anything but stand there.

 

[Distant Light]

I don't think i explained that properly but either way when approaching don't expect her to be into the conversation, as I was watching a DYD CD and TD was guest speaking. He talks about doing the 90/10 rule, it is a must that at first you speak 90% and her 10% of the time, because you just met so you have to talk and talk. (Thats why i think mystery says to be very talktative if you want to get good) also he demonstrated a neat way to bait girls kinda like your telling them exactly wat to say. An then he had 3 guys demonstrating it on each other.

 

[j8snx1]

Conversations WERE a toughie, and everyone SHOULD agree.
I had troubles with conversating with GIRLS my entire life...until I stumbled upon this place in '05.

I never could flirt, maintain an interesting convo, or even approach a cute girl in the old days. I'd freeze up, and at best, I would make eye contact without even smiling. I get the chills thinking of my past. However, I conquered that fear by reading the SoSuave tips OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

What sosuave recommended, I did it. I thought to myself, "You can't be a loser forever; you have to do this!" Just the whole thought of being 30+ and never even having a date scared the crap out of me. Therefore, my fears of the future drove me to overcome my fear or rejections and/or talking with girls.

 

[silverwex]

I have just started approaching!!! Its easy once you get into it.

Have a look at my tip in the tips section to see how i got over the fear!

 

[Malachi]

I did approach last night, but i sucked at it BIGTIME...one of the funny moments of the night was when i said

ME:"HEY GIRLS ALLLRIGHT" .....i said this too excitedly and they looked at me and probally thought i was weird.

Then i approached another 2-3 girls....after that....

But i found that i'm totally ****E at conversation...but i think i'm getting the approach under control even though i was crap at talking.

I'll put up another thread about what MADE me approach.