How did I play this?

[Glassguy]

Hard when you can't just hop to the next one that easy because you are fairly average.

BTW, I also had a girl I rejected online and I message her sometimes and she messages me about our various dating experiences. I told current girl about her. It's not like I ambringing her up 24/7 but I didn't feel I was massively disrespecting her.

It takes me hard work to find suitible women and I am mid 30s and can't just hop from women to woman that easy, sorry.

Also, generally girls making you jelly is a sign of high IOI in some cases. Especially when they are young and a bit naive like this one is.

Trust me, your girl isnt using this as a high IOI.

And I am only reading more justification from you. I just turned 40 and almost every chick I go out with and smash is 26-32. All 7.5's and up. And I live in a smaller area population wise. I try to spin plates and am always looking for more options. Sometimes I have 4-6 options, sometimes 2. But I am always looking to add to the current stockpile so I dont wind up in your exact situation.....taking sh!t from one chick because she is the only option.

I'd also rather be completely single and doing my own thing than putting up with this shyte. And the chicks I am talking to know this. I am a busy man (professionally, hobbies, family wise). I dont have the time for it. You shouldnt either.

 

[The Duke]

You made it clear. She isn't respecting that. Now its a power struggle.

Withdraw attention. Curtail the texting and phone calls. Don't take her out to dinner or any activities, just show up at her place late and only for sex! Leave first thing in the morning. 2-3 times of that and their attitude usually changes. Start looking for other women.

Its difficult for most women to rationalize and solve issues that's why its hard to get anywhere discussing things with them. Most really don't want to solve problems either.

 

[Glassguy]

You made it clear. She isn't respecting that. Now its a power struggle.

Withdraw attention. Curtail the texting and phone calls. Don't take her out to dinner or any activities, just show up at her place late and only for sex! Leave first thing in the morning. 2-3 times of that and their attitude usually changes. Start looking for other women.

Its difficult for most women to rationalize and solve issues that's why its hard to get anywhere discussing things with them. Most really don't want to solve problems either.

Indeed. I wouldnt even stay until first thing in the morning. I'd be throwing my clothes on right after the jizz hit her face lol.

"That was fun, I will be in touch babe. I hate to run but I have to _______".

 

[Fruitbat]

Bravo that you

Trust me, your girl isnt using this as a high IOI.

And I am only reading more justification from you. I just turned 40 and almost every chick I go out with and smash is 26-32. All 7.5's and up. And I live in a smaller area population wise. I try to spin plates and am always looking for more options. Sometimes I have 4-6 options, sometimes 2. But I am always looking to add to the current stockpile so I dont wind up in your exact situation.....taking sh!t from one chick because she is the only option.

I'd also rather be completely single and doing my own thing than putting up with this shyte. And the chicks I am talking to know this. I am a busy man (professionally, hobbies, family wise). I dont have the time for it. You shouldnt either.

Do you have/have had children? Is your objective to just crush poon?

How have you not had this repeatedly because every single woman I have ever dated in 20 years has pulled some stupid shyt with me.

I agree with not taking this shyt but just ditching a woman straight up for this.....seems a bit immature, if you can't handle a woman doing this....where are you going to find a woman who doesn't pull this shyt.

I get you are smashing multiple hot women blah blah but you are not me, and it's not cool to just wave your penis about here, this isn't what this thread is about, thank you.

 

[dude99]

The issue is, she was pushing me - "are you angry because I did this"etc which I initially said I don't give a shyt, carry on, just know the dude likes you (in a jokey way) and I think he's a chump.

Then, she got super pissed off because I didn't accept he's entirely platonic, then I got pissed off because she was acting like a stupid kid.

I go so far with the "don't react" but at points one has to just tell it as it is. Not reacting.....well, if you don't react when some chick is all over you best pal....there is only so far you can not react. When she is blatantly trying to jelly you up, I call out on HER behaviour rather than "oh, shyt, I am losing this girl" if that makes sense.

I guess i misunderstood the superpissed part. I didn't realize she was that mad. I thought it was just to push your buttons.

Yes if she was super pissed, then yes 100%. Withdraw 100% attention. She really has zero grounds to be super pissed

 

[Glassguy]

Bravo that you


Do you have/have had children? Is your objective to just crush poon?

How have you not had this repeatedly because every single woman I have ever dated in 20 years has pulled some stupid shyt with me.

I agree with not taking this shyt but just ditching a woman straight up for this.....seems a bit immature, if you can't handle a woman doing this....where are you going to find a woman who doesn't pull this shyt.

I get you are smashing multiple hot women blah blah but you are not me, and it's not cool to just wave your penis about here, this isn't what this thread is about, thank you.

1.) Yes.....14 yr old daughter that I have full custody of since she was 6. It makes no bearing to dating, smashing poon, etc. If a woman has a problem with that, they are demoted to fvck buddy or replaced. End of story, no negotiation.

2.) Some try to act this way and I dismiss it/scold them like a child with a smile on my face. If they do it again, I turn them into a fvck buddy and nothing more. If they are too stupid to realize whats happening and continue doing it, I ghost them and shift the little attention they had left to someone else that was more deserving. Next.

3.) I totally agree with it. If its not making you both happy and satisfied, tell her to gtfo or ghost her. Seems simple to me.

4.) It is exactly what this thread is about. I am no Brad Pitt but I have standards on both HOW I TREAT women and how I EXPECT TO BE TREATED. Period. I treat them all the same and the ones that start drama/create drama/dont make me happy and satisfied (both sexually, emotionally) get nexted. Period.

You have basically allowed people to treat you like this for 20 years because you put up with it. People will only treat you how you allow them to treat you. End of story.

Run with the dogs and dont b1tch when you get flea bites.

 

[Fruitbat]

1.) Yes.....14 yr old daughter that I have full custody of since she was 6. It makes no bearing to dating, smashing poon, etc. If a woman has a problem with that, they are demoted to fvck buddy or replaced. End of story, no negotiation.

2.) Some try to act this way and I dismiss it/scold them like a child with a smile on my face. If they do it again, I turn them into a fvck buddy and nothing more. If they are too stupid to realize whats happening and continue doing it, I ghost them and shift the little attention they had left to someone else that was more deserving. Next.

3.) I totally agree with it. If its not making you both happy and satisfied, tell her to gtfo or ghost her. Seems simple to me.

4.) It is exactly what this thread is about. I am no Brad Pitt but I have standards on both HOW I TREAT women and how I EXPECT TO BE TREATED. Period. I treat them all the same and the ones that start drama/create drama/dont make me happy and satisfied (both sexually, emotionally) get nexted. Period.

You have basically allowed people to treat you like this for 20 years because you put up with it. People will only treat you how you allow them to treat you. End of story.

Run with the dogs and dont b1tch when you get flea bites.

Well, with the help of this forum I called this chick out and have withdrawn. I probably wouldn't in the old days, so that's a start.

Note she already wholeheartedly apologised and promised not to do it again.

The reason I asked about kids is I haven't any. My ex wife went clinically insane and I had to start looking for this again. It was not my fault and I lost my dream of a family and kids. It ruined my life. I am not saying this to get a hug, I am explaining why some guys don't have the ruthless streak in the same way. If a woman says the slightest hint of not wanting kids, THAT is when I am utterly ruthless. You may be looking for perfect treatment, but I have other priorities than how I am treated, but I recognise that being treated like shyt is not going to make a woman respect me enough to have my kids, which is why I am learning all the time

This chick is the first I have dated in 4 years who is mid 20s and pro kids. I have had countless encouters with 30-35 year olds who are very much undecided.

This is why I can't just dismiss shyt because I am running out of time and mid 20s chicks don't just turn up in my life often. If I had done this already, I wouldn't give a shyt. Women would be an amusement and I would treat them as such.

 

[Glassguy]

Furthermore, the next time she brings this dude up, just get up, not say a word and walk the fvck out. Go home, go get a drink, go to the gym...whatever you want to do.

Just smile at her and leave and dont say anything. She will blow your phone up wondering what happened. Do not respond. Wait a few hours and text her "You and I are obviously on a different level for whatever this is between us. I am going to take some space and time and figure out what I want to do. I'll get back to you later".

Then completely ghost her for 2-3 days and I guarantee you her little attitude will be adjusted.

 

[Glassguy]

Well, with the help of this forum I called this chick out and have withdrawn. I probably wouldn't in the old days, so that's a start.

Note she already wholeheartedly apologised and promised not to do it again.

The reason I asked about kids is I haven't any. My ex wife went clinically insane and I had to start looking for this again. It was not my fault and I lost my dream of a family and kids. It ruined my life. I am not saying this to get a hug, I am explaining why some guys don't have the ruthless streak in the same way. If a woman says the slightest hint of not wanting kids, THAT is when I am utterly ruthless. You may be looking for perfect treatment, but I have other priorities than how I am treated, but I recognise that being treated like shyt is not going to make a woman respect me enough to have my kids, which is why I am learning all the time

This chick is the first I have dated in 4 years who is mid 20s and pro kids. I have had countless encouters with 30-35 year olds who are very much undecided.

This is why I can't just dismiss shyt because I am running out of time and mid 20s chicks don't just turn up in my life often. If I had done this already, I wouldn't give a shyt. Women would be an amusement and I would treat them as such.

So you want to knock up this little b1tchy acting woman who obviously likes orbiters and attention and thrives on it right in front of you, so you can be linked to her for the next 18 years while you pay her child support and barely see the kid?

You need some help bro.

 

[Fruitbat]

So you want to knock up this little b1tchy acting woman who obviously likes orbiters and attention and thrives on it right in front of you, so you can be linked to her for the next 18 years while you pay her child support and barely see the kid?

You need some help bro.

You get that entire analysis from a woman mentioning a male friend to make a man a bit jealous at the start of a relationship?

OK, I'll wait another 4 years for the next prime child bearing chick to come along, perhaps she'll be the same so I'll wait another 4 till I am 43....keep trying and I might be finding the one on my 83rd birthday.

You do not realise the dating market for some men. You obviously have some good shyt going on for you, but don't beat down others who lack the options and choices you have in life.

There are no grounds to assume this woman is going to screw me like this based on doing some stupid jealousy game followed by an apology.

90% of women I know like orbiters, especially when you know hardly anyone in a new country and the dude finds you jobs and work for nothing in return.

 

[Glassguy]

You get that entire analysis from a woman mentioning a male friend to make a man a bit jealous at the start of a relationship?

OK, I'll wait another 4 years for the next prime child bearing chick to come along, perhaps she'll be the same so I'll wait another 4 till I am 43....keep trying and I might be finding the one on my 83rd birthday.

You do not realise the dating market for some men. You obviously have some good shyt going on for you, but don't beat down others who lack the options and choices you have in life.

There are no grounds to assume this woman is going to screw me like this based on doing some stupid jealousy game followed by an apology.

90% of women I know like orbiters, especially when you know hardly anyone in a new country and the dude finds you jobs and work for nothing in return.

Yes thats exactly what I gather from it. Stop playing the poor pitiful me card and get out there my man. Next the women looking for orbiters.

Either change your approach and have some standards of keep dealing with the same thing. I am not beating you down, I am waking you up. At a few weeks into this and this stuff happening? I would be out like the wind.

INSANITY- doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results.

 

[resilient]

My advice @Fruitbat is if you want to settle down with a chick you're keen about, screen early and better.

When you withdrew attention and soft-ghost/next, that was your signal to approach and secure new plates. This vacuum of space gives her the opportunity to shape up like a good soldier and correct her behavior or risk losing the opportunity to become your main plate.

You say you can't tackle on a harem of options like @Glassguy then work on your ability to line them up. This will help you with your confidence to not put up with the crappy behavior you disapprove of when formulating in your mind if she's LTR material for a family down the road.

You can influence her behavior when she throws games at you to make you jealous when you feel more confident in your ability to walk away. Calling out her behavior after she crosses the line displays self-respect though that has to come from a place of security and not insecurity (thinking the other guy is a threat).

Remember, no one is forcing you to date her. You can always exercise your ability to walk away. You always have a choice as a man. Never forget this.

Obviously, a few weeks of dating just one girl isn't going to give you enough knowledge to know if she has long-term potential, you will, at least, know if she's worth keeping in the bullpen to compete with your other options.

She needs to earn your respect while you work on staying consistent with your behavior and frame. It's a two-way street.

 

[Fruitbat]

My advice @Fruitbat is if you want to settle down with a chick you're keen about, screen early and better.

When you withdrew attention and soft-ghost/next, that was your signal to approach and secure new plates.

You say you can't tackle on a harem of options like @Glassguy then work on your ability to line them up. This will help you with your confidence to not put up with the crappy behavior you disapprove of when formulating in your mind if she's LTR material for a family down the road.

You can influence her behavior when she throws games at you to make you jealous when you feel more confident in your ability to walk away. Calling out her behavior after she crosses the line displays self-respect though that has to come from a place of security and not insecurity (thinking the other guy is a threat).

Remember, no one is forcing you to date her. You can always exercise your ability to walk away. You always have a choice as a man. Never forget this.

Obviously, a few weeks of dating just one girl isn't going to give you enough knowledge to know if she has long-term potential, you will, at least, know if she's worth keeping in the bullpen to compete with your other options.

She needs to earn your respect.

Best sex I ever had- fact
Best age I have ever dated at 24.
Prettiest I have dated since I was like 22
Cooks/cleans/dotes on me usually
So many things going for her. I usually get no ****, just really good loving from her.
Does not expect much from me, ever. Just wants to stay in, doesn't spend my money either.

I am not dismissing this based on her being a typical young girl doing stupid shyt, but taking this in isolation gives somewhat a false reading.

She is also from a very diferent culture. She is very jealous of me as are most Asian girls....there are 100s of reasons she could be acting like this....she could find the fact I was cool weird and she expects me to be as jealous of her as she is of me. she could know she is using this guy a bit and feels guilty and wants to tell me.....she could be testing whether I trust her. I just don't see this as black and white "she's a ho who wants orbiters".

Obviously I don't shower her with praise now, I feel this is more a power testing exercise. I did loads of stupid shyt to girls when I was young.

Problem is, she nailed me for not seeing others as it's a massive no-no in her culutre to be dating other girls and her, which checks out. So any plate spinning needs to be very private and I run the risk of losing her.

Dating does my head in.