How did I handle this?

[johnhat57]

I started seeing this HB8 a few months back. All signs looked good (good family, great sex, hanging out was fun) when I asked if she wanted a relationship. She said "no, but I'd like to be FWB." Perfect. All is well. Basically we agree to FWB and to only be exclusive with sex. Everything goes to plan.

Fast forward to the last 2 weeks and she suddenly starts being miserable for no reason. We hang out and she complains and starts being savage to me. Tells me I am an inadequate in no uncertain terms. I play it wrong, go full on doormat and take it for a few days. Then, tonight, she tells me that she doesn't have as much fun with me as she did with her exs (namely one guy that was really rotten to her). I tell her that's a crappy thing to say and she accuses me of being sensitive. Starts visciously mocking me and tells me that I should go pout somewhere.

Her eyes turned like saucers when I said "I'm done being your emotional tampon" and asked her to leave. I was angry but didn't say anything mean to her. Just commented that I didn't want to take it anymore and that this was it.

I walked her out to her car. Told her goodbye and that was that.
Did I do this wrong?

 

[marmel75]

You started it wrong...why the hell did you ask for a relationship?

 

[shesabranchswinger]

As long as you stay no contact you ended ok no Oscars will be given but you might keep your peace of mind if you don't fall for her trap if she try's to come back.

Major issues with her that you will not be able to fix only she can. Mainly the fact that she thinks she can disrespect and abuse you and you will be a push over.

There is not a piece of pvssy on this planet that is worth your dignity. You may not believe it but there are billions of women on this planet and some know how to treat a man you just bumped into one that doesn't at this point in her life.

 

[lizardking82]

Lesson 1: guys don't ask for relationships. Things are either understood or she wants to become exclusive with you.

Lesson 2: no matter if FWB, LTR or just friends with a girl, when the drama starts, you give one chance for her to behave better. If she doesn't, you withdraw attention and leave that relationship.

Follow these and we won't see you posting about things like this for a long while here.

 

[sazc]

you did right, stay away. from my perspective she got scared of letting you in emotionally so she decided to push you away, violently. That's just my uneducated guess. People do this all the time because they are afraid of getting hurt. She's not ready to be anyones anything.

 

[dude99]

I started seeing this HB8 a few months back. All signs looked good (good family, great sex, hanging out was fun) when I asked if she wanted a relationship. She said "no, but I'd like to be FWB." Perfect. All is well. Basically we agree to FWB and to only be exclusive with sex. Everything goes to plan.

Fast forward to the last 2 weeks and she suddenly starts being miserable for no reason. We hang out and she complains and starts being savage to me. Tells me I am an inadequate in no uncertain terms. I play it wrong, go full on doormat and take it for a few days. Then, tonight, she tells me that she doesn't have as much fun with me as she did with her exs (namely one guy that was really rotten to her). I tell her that's a crappy thing to say and she accuses me of being sensitive. Starts visciously mocking me and tells me that I should go pout somewhere.

Her eyes turned like saucers when I said "I'm done being your emotional tampon" and asked her to leave. I was angry but didn't say anything mean to her. Just commented that I didn't want to take it anymore and that this was it.

I walked her out to her car. Told her goodbye and that was that.
Did I do this wrong?

Sounds like a girl who wants to be treated poorly. As she isn't having fun with you as much as she had when her ex treated her poorly. Sounds counter productive but some girls are just wired that way.

I think she could be damaged goods. She got moody on you because she may be the girl who craves fighting. When you went full beta on her , all attraction to you died. Im not saying this is right but had you treated her like garbage what do you bet she would have fallen in love with you.

This one is dead. You did the right thing and kicked her to the curb.

 

[Reykhel]

great sex, hanging out was fun

Yes yes yes yes. This is all you want my man. This is key. This is good.

when I asked if she wanted a relationship.

No no no no no. Why why why why why. You see, you started to complicate the above "great sex, hanging out was fun". There was
no need to complicate or add anything to that. This was the key to the downfall. This was bad.

Note: A man who gives up his time and his commitment to a woman loses value in the eyes of others. Recognize this. At this moment she started to lose respect for you simply because you inadvertently made her value higher than yours. As a result, she cannot respect you. Woman love differently then men....woman's love must come from respect and adoration. If you beg her for a relationship, something clicks inside her and she wonders why a healthy free man would voluntarily offer to tie himself down. She may still be "happy" with you, but something will be brewing underneath the surface that doesn't feel quite right.........and it will come out later.

being miserable for no reason.

No longer fun. See first point.

We hang out and she complains and starts being savage to me.

No longer fun. See first point.

Tells me I am an inadequate in no uncertain terms

The disrespect starts to come out. She's overtly telling you that she doesn't respect you. She is a useless cvnt.

I play it wrong, go full on doormat and take it for a few days

Yeah, work on those boundaries. Say it "No, bytch. no." Get used to saying it.

she tells me that she doesn't have as much fun with me as she did with her exs

Telling you that her interest level is gone.

namely one guy that was really rotten to her

Telling you that a bytch needs to be treated like a bytch. "no, bytch. no". "bytch shut the fvck up"

I tell her that's a crappy thing to say and she accuses me of being sensitive. Starts visciously mocking me and tells me that I should go pout somewhere.

telling you that you shouldn't be taking her crap. Don't tell her it's a crappy thing to do, tell her "well fvck off back to him then bytch. oh wait you can't, because he dumped your whiny bytch azz. I should shake that guy's hand and have a beer with him. In fact what am I doing talking to you."

Her eyes turned like saucers when I said "I'm done being your emotional tampon" and asked her to leave. I was angry but didn't say anything mean to her. Just commented that I didn't want to take it anymore and that this was it.

Bravo. Good man.

Did I do this wrong?

Stick with the first part.......good sex and having fun. Do that with multiple women if possible. Don't complicate life for yourself. Relationships
are a pain in the azz at the best of times.
Shore up your boundaries......any disrespect towards you and let her have both barrels. "get out bytch, you're walking home"
Imagine if she was speaking to your mother or father like that, or your best friend, or your younger cousin.......you'd slap her at the
first sign of disrespect no? metaphorically speaking of course.....

The end was good, well done.

 

[RangerMIke]

When women start acting b!tchy and distant... just walk away. When chicks do this it is a sign of waning interest. Don't listen to any BS relationship coaches, there really is nothing you can do about this. If you try harder to make her happy, she will only lose respect for you... which will accelerate her bad behavior. Go find other chicks.

 

[johnhat57]

Thanks gents. I am going on day 2 of NC and struggling a bit. I've had the time to reflect on the relationship and realized how sh!tty she was the entire time. I'm not going to contact her, but based on her personality I wouldn't be surprised if she contacted me (either with something mean or nice...can't tell). Is the appropriate response silence?

 

[shesabranchswinger]

Thanks gents. I am going on day 2 of NC and struggling a bit. I've had the time to reflect on the relationship and realized how sh!tty she was the entire time. I'm not going to contact her, but based on her personality I wouldn't be surprised if she contacted me (either with something mean or nice...can't tell). Is the appropriate response silence?

Yes silence is the response, unless or course she wants to have a heart to heart and realizes her mistakes and will not go down that road again. But the chances of that happening are slim and none so don't bank on it. Move forward with your life if she wants to be part of it she will make the appropriate corrections to be part of it.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Thanks gents. I am going on day 2 of NC and struggling a bit. I've had the time to reflect on the relationship and realized how sh!tty she was the entire time. I'm not going to contact her, but based on her personality I wouldn't be surprised if she contacted me (either with something mean or nice...can't tell). Is the appropriate response silence?

Either that or "LOL" and block. May as well spin her hamster wheel on the way out.