How could this have gone wrong? fml

[jc.dunn]

K so I met this girl at the bar on friday... we hit it off super well. We made out for probably a whole hour (well lets face it i wasn't counting), then my friends and her friends went out to dennys for some late night food, she was snuggled up next to me the whole time. Unfortunately I didn't get to spend the rest of the night there, but we had another makeout session after she gave me her phone number.

Anyways today we were supposed to meet up and she totally disappeared... wouldn't pick up her phone or anything. She told me she would call me after work (at 430) and its 8 now... obviously I've given up on the whole thing for tonight, but what could cause a girl that was soooo into me (and made plans, and said she was excited to see me, etc.) to totally stand me up?

I'll be updating this post as to what happens, its still possible she has a legit reason, but that she wouldn't even call me is kind of weird. Any ideas as to why this would happen? This is the most baffling behavior i have EVER experienced.

 

[jc.dunn]

Also, is there any good way to handle this ridiculous situation?

 

[jc.dunn]

Also I should add she was the designated driver for her friends, so it wasn't just some random drunken thing.

 

[DJDamage]

K Any ideas as to why this would happen? This is the most baffling behavior i have EVER experienced.

Why this happened? because you are not at the top of her priorities list. She maybe seeing other guys or she got invited to a GNO and totally forgot about you.

Also, is there any good way to handle this ridiculous situation?

Yeah don't wait by the phone. If a girl doesn't call you back or picks up the phone when you call, make new plans or better yet find another date for the night.

 

[jc.dunn]

I guess it is the first night of spring break for her... still the NERVE. She didn't seem like the type to do that, my mistake i guess. I got another question though, if she apologizes or whatever, how will I know she won't flake out again. I'm thinking I'll just say "How do i know you won't stand me up again?" but if anyone has any other good ideas, i'm all ears. Perhaps I should flat out reject her after doing this?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I guess it is the first night of spring break for her... still the NERVE. She didn't seem like the type to do that, my mistake i guess. I got another question though, if she apologizes or whatever, how will I know she won't flake out again. I'm thinking I'll just say "How do i know you won't stand me up again?" but if anyone has any other good ideas, i'm all ears. Perhaps I should flat out reject her after doing this?

Dude! Relax, you made out with a girl, you didn't get engaged! Don't mention anything about it. Give it a couple days then give her a call, if its her Spring Break this week, its kinda bad timing especially if she went out of town. If you don't hear back from her after you call during the middle of the week, then leave it alone.

Making out is like saying hello in my book.... in other words its no big deal




PIMP

 

[jc.dunn]

umm the making out wasn't the point... like she was all over me and everything. The reason i'm so pissed is that (oh right should have mentioned this) is that I was waiting at school for her to call me (she said she would right when she finished work) and she didn't pick up her phone.

 

[jayhood]

Don't call her or think by doing more is the solution to your problem. Wait for the time being and see what she does. Have a careless attitude. Remember, it takes two. She also must Put in the effort.

 

[DJDamage]

I guess it is the first night of spring break for her... still the NERVE. She didn't seem like the type to do that, my mistake i guess. I got another question though, if she apologizes or whatever, how will I know she won't flake out again. I'm thinking I'll just say "How do i know you won't stand me up again?" but if anyone has any other good ideas, i'm all ears. Perhaps I should flat out reject her after doing this?

Most women who pull a stunt like this are self serving, self absorbed creatures, I highly doubt she will realise that she has done something wrong (or maybe not even care she has done so). Women who have lots of options do not miss a night's sleep just because they flake on a guy when there are plenty of other guys around to go out with. For a hot young woman, the water in the well doesn't run dry!

If she does call you to apologize (don't ask her to do so she has to find it in herself to apologize which as result you would also be able to gauge her interest in you). If she does apologizes, tell her that it was ok, that you went out with the boyz to the bar and had a great night. If she wants to go out again, tell her that she has to make it up to you this time and judge her based on that. It goes without saying that if she flakes again, she is cut out from your life for good.

 

[jc.dunn]

K well that more or less sounds like the game plan now, I'll keep everyone posted if anything noteworthy happens. Still happy to hear any thoughts.

 

[DonJuan11]

K so I met this girl at the bar on friday... we hit it off super well. We made out for probably a whole hour (well lets face it i wasn't counting), then my friends and her friends went out to dennys for some late night food, she was snuggled up next to me the whole time. Unfortunately I didn't get to spend the rest of the night there, but we had another makeout session after she gave me her phone number.

Anyways today we were supposed to meet up and she totally disappeared... wouldn't pick up her phone or anything. She told me she would call me after work (at 430) and its 8 now... obviously I've given up on the whole thing for tonight, but what could cause a girl that was soooo into me (and made plans, and said she was excited to see me, etc.) to totally stand me up?

1 - she wanted some action the night before
2 - she wanted an ego boost the night before
3 - she realized she was really drunk the night before
4 - she wanted to stay home with her boyfriend
5 - her husband came home

I'll be updating this post as to what happens, its still possible she has a legit reason, but that she wouldn't even call me is kind of weird. Any ideas as to why this would happen? This is the most baffling behavior i have EVER experienced.

Guys get so confused about this. Love is not unconditional. Just because she stuck her tongue down your throat one night doesn't mean she cares if you are dead or alive the next night. She probably just wanted some action that night at the bar because she got in a fight with her boyfriend and needed an ego boost. Be very happy you made out with her.

 

[jc.dunn]

hahah well definitely wasn't the boyfriend or husband issue, or the drunk issue (she was the dd). The weird thing is that she kept on leading me on for 2 days after. Whatever the case i'm sure your right, unless it turns out she was stranded without a cellphone on the side of the highway or some bull****, i guess the only solution is NEXT. I guess i just gave her to much credit.

 

[NewAndImproved]

Any ideas as to why this would happen? This is the most baffling behavior i have EVER experienced.

It's happened to me on more than several occasions. Never assume anything when it comes to women. NEVER.

In one instance, I heard through the grapevine that this girl was into me. Day one, met up at a party, dance, kino...Next day, another party, walk her back to her room, invite myself in, makeout and then get her number. Call her a few days later...no dice. Ganji her for a week or so. She then texts me asking if I'm going to our mutual friend's b-day party. I say "perhaps." See her there. Flirt, all seems well but then she's bouncing around from guy to guy as she gets drunker. Then some dude approaches me and starts complaining about that girl. Apparently he had hooked up w/her too...and claims she bounces around from guy to guy, not doing much other than making out and then flaking.

In another instance, on NYE, I had my best outing of my life. Not only did I look great but my game was on a whole other level. Had a girl wrapped around my fingers within 30 minutes. New Years kiss. Great convo too, perfect mix of fun and substantive. At one point she disappeared to the bathroom. Came back and I got her #. We had plans to meet when she returned to town. A few days later, I texted her something funny...no response. She responded like a wk later via facebook. By this time, school was about to start again (we happen to go to the same school). She asks what's up about a wk into school. I run into her at a party, she gives me a huge hug, explains that she had phone troubles. She again disappears to the bathroom. I see her a few weeks later, drugged out of her mind. Turns out she's a coke addict.

My point with all of this is that you just never know. Because I'm inexperienced, I make a big deal out of these little things when I should be enjoying them for what they were--in the moment fun. Not every girl you meet is a LTR or even a f buddy. Keep playing the field.

 

[axxo]

K so I met this girl at the bar on friday... we hit it off super well. We made out for probably a whole hour (well lets face it i wasn't counting), then my friends and her friends went out to dennys for some late night food, she was snuggled up next to me the whole time. Unfortunately I didn't get to spend the rest of the night there, but we had another makeout session after she gave me her phone number.

Did you isolate her from your and her friends? You should have taken her home instead of taking her no.

Anyways today we were supposed to meet up and she totally disappeared... wouldn't pick up her phone or anything. She told me she would call me after work (at 430) and its 8 now... obviously I've given up on the whole thing for tonight, but what could cause a girl that was soooo into me (and made plans, and said she was excited to see me, etc.) to totally stand me up?

This is a classic 101. Read about Franco. Do NOT contact her whatsoever. Let go of that idea. Go and sarge other girls.

 

[jc.dunn]

"Did you isolate her from your and her friends? You should have taken her home instead of taking her no."
Umm yes... actually I took her into the photo booth at this club and start sucking on her tits... she was the designated driver (meaning NO alcohol). We're in canada so we're all 18 and don't have anywhere to go (i couldn't take her home, as other people were driving me, etc.) plus my friends wanted to party with her friends.
Thats why i'm so baffled by the whole thing. I know theres a million posts on this from AFCs who get stood up, and i'm not gonna pretend it hasn't happened to me, but this time was different. I did everything right pretty much (with the exception of calling her I guess).


Next time i get a girl this into me I'm gonna let her sit for 3 days or so. I guess since she was SO enthusiastic and SO into me I made the mistake of not thinking i needed to play these stupid games and **** her tonight.

I've been thinking about this, and i've come up with a possible game plan as i figure I have nothing to lose from this now, but I still want to **** her.

Background info: I sent her a message on facebook
"So I'm pretty shocked you stood me up... I hope theres a good reason."

Possibility 1 (unlikely): She actually had a good reason (death in the family, etc). She calls me, apologizes and we hang out another time. I will not wait around for her or anything this time.

Possibility 2 (likely): She went out, met girls or whatever (doesnt really matter, she forgot about me). She may or may not really message me back, it doesn't really matter.
Heres what i'm gonna say if this is the case:
"K well obviously the other night was just because you think i'm hot and you just wanted some action. I made the mistake of thinking you were a sweet country girl and even thought you had girlfriend potential. Since this is obviously not the case, how about you do us both a favour, come over here and **** me now."


Any thoughts, or is this just a terrible idea? Keep in mind she already rejected me so I'm not worried about pissing her off. Also, what are your guys thoughts about the message I already sent?

 

[jc.dunn]

"This is a classic 101. Read about Franco. Do NOT contact her whatsoever. Let go of that idea. Go and sarge other girls."

K if this is my problem I obviously did it a couple times, I guess I just didn't want to let it go because the ***** through such a brick in my schedule. Surely there must be some way to let a girl know that you won't put up with this ****? the problem is that I need to get through to her.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

umm the making out wasn't the point... like she was all over me and everything. The reason i'm so pissed is that (oh right should have mentioned this) is that I was waiting at school for her to call me (she said she would right when she finished work) and she didn't pick up her phone.

Read what you wrote above here again. You were waiting for her to call you because she said she would..... and when she didn't call around the time she indicated, you freaked out and called her...

You look desperate and you can sense it in the urgency of your post. You need to relax....

Again, making out is not a big deal. Lots of girls love to go out and have a little fun, doesn't mean they want something with you. Kill that desperation because this chick already sees it in you.





PIMP

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Background info: I sent her a message on facebook
"So I'm pretty shocked you stood me up... I hope theres a good reason."

Wow dude... just read this post, please tell me you didn't send that message?? Especially on Facebook where all her other friends will be able to see how desperate you are acting....

Possibility 1 (unlikely): She actually had a good reason (death in the family, etc). She calls me, apologizes and we hang out another time. I will not wait around for her or anything this time.

Over-analyze much???

Possibility 2 (likely): She went out, met girls or whatever (doesnt really matter, she forgot about me). She may or may not really message me back, it doesn't really matter.

It does matter...you now why?? Because your interest level is at 2000 and her's is at 20.... Your burying yourself more and more with each step. You honestly need to STOP messaging her. She knows you called, however your not a priority at the moment. Instead of trying to prove your worth to her, take it as a hint that she's not interested enough in you to want to see you again... Instead of wondering why, just find some more girls...

Heres what i'm gonna say if this is the case:
"K well obviously the other night was just because you think i'm hot and you just wanted some action. I made the mistake of thinking you were a sweet country girl and even thought you had girlfriend potential.

A girl has GF potential because you made out with her and sucked on her t*ts? Wait or was it the great conversation?? You don't know anything about this chick to be able to say she's relationship material at this point. You've got a lot to learn if that's your screening process. Again, take it as a sign that this girl is either a) flakey b) an attention w-hore c) not interested in you......

Since this is obviously not the case, how about you do us both a favour, come over here and **** me now."

LOL.... you've got to be kidding me. Why stop there then? Might as well get a billboard put up on the local freeway by your college and let everyone know that your trying to get in contact with her and that you would like to stick it to her..

Any thoughts, or is this just a terrible idea? Keep in mind she already rejected me so I'm not worried about pissing her off.

Your frame is completely messed up. You keep thinking about how she will react. Do you want her AND all her friends to see you as a desperate AFC? Well you just did by sending that Facebook message. And she's clearly rejected you, but you can't take the hint. You know what your losing by continually contacting her? The possiblity of banging her friends...

Also, what are your guys thoughts about the message I already sent?

That message you sent sealed your fate. She now officially views you as a desperate AFC. You will never hear from this girl again unless you run into her at school or see her at a party where she has to acknowledge you.

You might think I'm being a d-ick, but I'm just trying to make you realize where you steered off course........waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off course. If a girl tells you she's going to call you and she doesn't, the WORST thing you can do is call her. That gives off the impression to her, that you:

a) have nothing else going on in your life
b) are desperate
c) are creepy.


You don't have to wait 3 days after you meet a girl to call her, especially if you hook up with her. But what you have to do is take control of the frame. You put the power in her hands (waiting for her phone call) and ultimately made yourself look incredibly desperate when she didn't call.

NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!

Lastly, stop analyzing every possible scenario, whether you know it or not, you've already got one-itis for this chick. If you didn't then you would stop embarassing yourself and leave her alone. She's most likely a young, slvtty party girl. Go meet a few more and play it right this time. I can't understand why all you young dudes are so anxious to get into a relationship, when all you really want is sex. There are PLENTY of hot, young, horny b-itches that will fuvk you on the regular without having to date them.



PIMP