How can you be a player if you have kids?

[Epicwinguy]

If you have a kid or worse, multiple, you will need to deal with constant whining/crying plus the cost of providing for them. They also obviously take away time that you could be using to build yourself up/increase your value and meet women especially when they get a little older and you have to take them everywhere for their extracurriculars. It just baffles me how so many on here don’t seem to realize how having children gets in the way of living the player lifestyle.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Why in the fvck would a father of non-adult children desire to be a player?

 

[Barrister]

Unclear on what you mean by "player lifestyle," but if you just mean having multiple plates at once, it is definitely possible. I acknowledge it could be difficult if your child is with you close to 100% of the time, but if you are at 50/50 or less with your child you can easily spin plates while taking care of your kid. Most women who you are not seriously involved with aren't going to care one way or another about you having a child either so long as you are showing them a good time when you meet up with them.

Not sure why you would think this would be so difficult.

 

[SW15]

If you just mean having multiple plates at once, it is definitely possible.... if you are at 50/50 or less with your child you can easily spin plates while taking care of your kid.

Not sure why you would think this would be so difficult.

Most men in the United States see their children less than 50% of the time. The more typical custody arrangement is Mom has the kids Mon-Fri and Dad has them on weekends.

There's enough time.

Not a father but know some single fathers in real life.

Most women who you are not seriously involved with aren't going to care one way or another about you having a child either so long as you are showing them a good time when you meet up with them.

This would be true at the plate/casual sex level. Some women would be peeved about not getting a lot of weekend time with a man, especially if they are childless women. Childless women who work Mon-Fri jobs can have a decent amount of weekend available time.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I think it would add a valuable data point to this discussion if those participating in it would state whether or not they have children of their own as it adds validity to the participant's POV, if you don't you're simply speculating.

I do.

It's certainly possible to be a "player" if you have children, what it takes away from your free time it returns to you in plausible deniability to maintain several plates. Just a thought.

 

[Barrister]

Most men in the United States see their children less than 50% of the time. The more typical custody arrangement is Mom has the kids Mon-Fri and Dad has them on weekends.

There's enough time.

Not a father but know some single fathers in real life.

This would be true at the plate/casual sex level. Some women would be peeved about not getting a lot of weekend time with a man, especially if they are childless women. Childless women who work Mon-Fri jobs can have a decent amount of weekend available time.

No doubt about it that for some women a man having a child becomes an issue. Sometimes even right up front before anything even gets semi-serious. However, if you are looking for an LTR, there are women out there who will work with you on your schedule and be willing to share the time. Some women will even WANT to meet your children if they like you enough. I know this is hard for some people to believe on SS who think all women are evil.

 

[Scars]

I have a daughter and I get plenty of pvssy. I don't bring plates around my kid though. I do co-parenting with my BM. I'd imagine for a full time single dad it would be much harder.

 

[SW15]

No doubt about it that for some women a man having a child becomes an issue. Sometimes even right up front before anything even gets semi-serious. However, if you are looking for an LTR, there are women out there who will work with you on your schedule and be willing to share the time. Some women will even WANT to meet your children if they like you enough.

The best fits for LTRs for single dads are single moms. Some childless women are open to single dads. Things get dicey with single dad-childless woman LTRs. Some childless women will want their own kids while the single dad doesn't want more kids. Some childless women (most commonly 40+) don't want to deal with his kids on a long term. If a woman has made it to 40 without her own kids, why would she want to start dealing with kids now, especially ones that aren't her own?

I think childless women are better equipped to handle single dads than childless men are with single moms. Due to male thirst, I think the childless man-single mom pairing is more common than the single dad-childless women pairing.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you have a kid or worse, multiple, you will need to deal with constant whining/crying plus the cost of providing for them. They also obviously take away time that you could be using to build yourself up/increase your value and meet women especially when they get a little older and you have to take them everywhere for their extracurriculars. It just baffles me how so many on here don’t seem to realize how having children gets in the way of living the player lifestyle.

This obviously is written by someone who is young and immature because if you had kids you would care less about the question you asked because your focus would be on your kids.

Unless you were one of those deadbeat Dads running around which there are plenty of apparently...

 

[jimwho]

It just baffles me how so many on here don’t seem to realize how having children gets in the way of living the player lifestyle.

You wouldn't be baffled if you had a great kid. One day you will read what you wrote and feel massive guilt and regret when your daughter hands you your home made fathers day card. You'll see.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Yes I date and to some, I may be considered a "player" (multiple steady partners), but the first thing I am at this juncture in my life is a Father. Dating single, childless women can be ok if its super casual, but it always ends because there is always another guy who is willing to invest more (time and resources) in your plate, and propinquity is real, women, in general, are fickle and will go to the highest "bidder".

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You wouldn't be baffled if you had a great kid. One day you will read what you wrote and feel massive guilt and regret when your daughter hands you your home made fathers day card. You'll see.

Everyone has to grow up sometime I guess

 

[SW15]

It just baffles me how so many on here don’t seem to realize how having children gets in the way of living the player lifestyle.

I can see your point on this. I've never been enthusiastic about having kids and have never had them. Childless men have more freedom. Freedom has its benefits.

If you have a kid or worse, multiple, you will need to deal with constant whining/crying plus the cost of providing for them. They also obviously take away time that you could be using to build yourself up/increase your value and meet women especially when they get a little older and you have to take them everywhere for their extracurriculars.

I agree that these are all inconveniences.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I can see your point on this. I've never been enthusiastic about having kids and have never had them. Childless men have more freedom. Freedom has its benefits.



I agree that these are all inconveniences.

You wouldn't understand unless you had one. Then you'd understand.

Kids force you to not be self centered and selfish, which many guys could use help with these days.

In some ways until you have a child and understand the lessons you learn from that, I feel there is a certain completeness that is lacking.

 

[2Rocky]

Going back about 5 years
Week on week off for kids. Never brought strange women home when they were there but there were times my kids found some of their stuff in my car when I picked them up. Luckily nothing too adult.

Sometimes "friends" would come into town and stay on the weekends kids weren't there. Often I'd leave for the weekend to go somewhere else , and meet women in the process. Less Gaming, and more social circle. Was fun toying with the Single moms at the PTA fundraisers and sports events. You ever made a date out of a 2 hour break between volleyball games?

Hit the neighborhood bar while kids at practice or lessons. Get numbers there. Staying out at the bar until closing time was less and less attractive as time wore on.

And to be frank, Single mothers are more available and accessible when you are a Single dad. "Well he has his kids so he can't be THAAAT bad of a guy..."

 

[MatureDJ]

A man with kids can play SingleDaddyGame; single mommies will look at him like Mike Brady.

 

[Epicwinguy]

Everyone has to grow up sometime I guess

I would genuinely like to try and understand why you are so adamant that every person should have kids

 

[2Rocky]

A man with kids can play SingleDaddyGame; single mommies will look at him like Mike Brady.

View attachment 8754

I was on a first date with a mother of 3 and she said "if we got together we'd be like the Brady bunch" and I replied "But we'd have enough for a Basketball team!"

Oh man she wanted a second date BAAAD...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I would genuinely like to try and understand why you are so adamant that every person should have kids

I'm not saying every guy should have kids. I am saying you would never have the attitude you do about them if you had them.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I can see your point on this. I've never been enthusiastic about having kids and have never had them. Childless men have more freedom. Freedom has its benefits.

Freedom to get drunk, fvck, and then die alone. It’s fun for a while but I don’t see the appeal to never have kids.