How can we avoid women flaking on us?

[Masculinity]

Flaking is one of my pet peeves because our free time is limited and people who waste it aren't worth our time. I have been talking to a few girls lately and they were obviously interested in me (strongly). I even call them and avoid texting as much as possible, I tell them flaking is a pet peeve for me and that I rather not make plans if there's a chance they will cancel.

However, I keep getting flaked on and it's driving me bananas. What can I do on my side to reduce flaking? I show plenty of good value and they show plenty of interest. Anyone have experience with this and have some tips?

 

[escaleraroyal]

easy dont call them

 

[J Roc]

stop caring. i always have multiple plates spinning. if i setup plans with a girl and she doesnt fall thru i just call up the next girl on my list and make plans with her. Your power lies in your options!

 

[Mr. Fantastic]

What can I do on my side to reduce flaking?

^Here is your problem. You are focusing on "getting" the woman (or women ) instead of focusing on the women getting you. The goal shouldn't be getting a woman to go on a date with you, the goal should be to find a woman who is interested in you. If she flakes you, you should be happy that you didn't waste time with a disinterested chick.

I show plenty of good value and they show plenty of interest. Anyone have experience with this and have some tips?

A woman is guilty of disinterest until proven otherwise. If she flakes she isn't interested. Also stop trying to "display value". This is the number one thing that will put you in a place you don't want to be in with a chick.

Robyn923b: "How is displaying value bad? All it does is raise her interest level!"

Mr. Fantastic: "When you display value the woman's interest level in you as a person doesn't go up, she is only interested in the things you can offer her ergo she still isn't interested in you. Before you were a loser who couldn't do anything for her, after displaying value you are just a loser who can offer her things. This is the type of woman you should avoid."

Robyn923b: "So are you saying I'd be happier with a woman who could care less what I offer her?"

Mr. Fantastic: "Exactly. That's why the golden rule to weed out women is 'see how she treats those who can do nothing for her.' Most women are more interested in what you can offer them (whether it be money, status, good sex, etc.), than who you are as a person. Which is why they go for the the star's and celebrities."

Never look for signs of interest because your vanity will get in the way and ambiguous things will turn into signs of interest. If you assume they are disinterested you will have them proving themselves to you.

If she will talk/ text you but won't date you, she's not interested in you. If she will have sex with you but won't kiss you, she is not interested in you. If she flakes on you and she dates you irregularly, she is not interested enough in you. What you are looking for is a chick who will go out of her way to be with you. Even then that doesn't guarantee that she is interested in you.

I once knew a man who was making a six figure salary at a job he didn't want (some corporate job ) and hated his life because of it. After a while he said fvck that and quit his job to spend his time hunting and taking other people hunting. He was much happier but barely made a fraction of what he made at his corporate job. His wife left him because he quit his job and could no longer support the lifestyle she wanted. This is failure. Not getting a woman isn't failure, but being with a disinterested woman is failure.

Spend more time weeding out disinterested chicks and less time worrying about building interest.

 

[Masculinity]

Never look for signs of interest because your vanity will get in the way and ambiguous things will turn into signs of interest. If you assume they are disinterested you will have them proving themselves to you.

+1 to you reputation for this response.

Great, detailed advice, Fantastic. I never saw flaking from this perspective before--it really helped me--thanks a lot, bro.

Now, I'm a little confused by the print in bold above ^

What do you mean by if I assumed she's disinterested. Did you mean to say I should assume IS interested?

 

[Big Sexy]

Don't act Very available. If you are TO avaiable, some girls will think your gona be clingy crowding them.. DO TXT leaves less converstion. Say things that intrigue them to want to see you. dont be mushy. Be Sexy. End convo fast.. Say what you want then act like you have to go your busy with work or sompn like that... Example gota run lota work to do Drinks Friday???

 

[TopGun2000]

best advice i've seen so far :rockon:

^Here is your problem. You are focusing on "getting" the woman (or women ) instead of focusing on the women getting you. The goal shouldn't be getting a woman to go on a date with you, the goal should be to find a woman who is interested in you. If she flakes you, you should be happy that you didn't waste time with a disinterested chick.



A woman is guilty of disinterest until proven otherwise. If she flakes she isn't interested. Also stop trying to "display value". This is the number one thing that will put you in a place you don't want to be in with a chick.

Robyn923b: "How is displaying value bad? All it does is raise her interest level!"

Mr. Fantastic: "When you display value the woman's interest level in you as a person doesn't go up, she is only interested in the things you can offer her ergo she still isn't interested in you. Before you were a loser who couldn't do anything for her, after displaying value you are just a loser who can offer her things. This is the type of woman you should avoid."

Robyn923b: "So are you saying I'd be happier with a woman who could care less what I offer her?"

Mr. Fantastic: "Exactly. That's why the golden rule to weed out women is 'see how she treats those who can do nothing for her.' Most women are more interested in what you can offer them (whether it be money, status, good sex, etc.), than who you are as a person. Which is why they go for the the star's and celebrities."

Never look for signs of interest because your vanity will get in the way and ambiguous things will turn into signs of interest. If you assume they are disinterested you will have them proving themselves to you.

If she will talk/ text you but won't date you, she's not interested in you. If she will have sex with you but won't kiss you, she is not interested in you. If she flakes on you and she dates you irregularly, she is not interested enough in you. What you are looking for is a chick who will go out of her way to be with you. Even then that doesn't guarantee that she is interested in you.

I once knew a man who was making a six figure salary at a job he didn't want (some corporate job ) and hated his life because of it. After a while he said fvck that and quit his job to spend his time hunting and taking other people hunting. He was much happier but barely made a fraction of what he made at his corporate job. His wife left him because he quit his job and could no longer support the lifestyle she wanted. This is failure. Not getting a woman isn't failure, but being with a disinterested woman is failure.

Spend more time weeding out disinterested chicks and less time worrying about building interest.

 

[aura]

More attraction, more rapport, more trust.

 

[Mr. Fantastic]

What do you mean by if I assumed she's disinterested. Did you mean to say I should assume IS interested?

Well yes and no. Assume that she'll be interested before you get her number, but while you are dating always assume that she is disinterested. That way while you date her she will have to prove her interest to you.

For example, let's say you date Chick A and she isn't interested in you. Most men will say "oh gee I must be hot stuff, because Chick A is dating me" while she may just be trying to kill a boring night. If you assume she is disinterested and treat her like a disinterested chick she will quickly fall out of your rotation.

Now let's say you date Chick B and she is very interested in you. If you treat her like she is disinterested she will put in the extra effort to see you that Chick A did not. This is how you will know which one of your chicks is interested. However do not get the interested chick mixed up with the desperate chicks. There is a fine line between the two. True passionate love only exists when either person can walk away at any moment and not look back.

 

[Aaron B]

stop caring. i always have multiple plates spinning. if i setup plans with a girl and she doesnt fall thru i just call up the next girl on my list and make plans with her. Your power lies in your options!

this is the best approach in my experience

you have to view the date as an opportunity you are providing for her

it is your responsibility to contact the girls and extend the invitation

if she is unwilling to take advantage of that opportunity for whatever reason, you have learned everything you need to know

you haven't lost anything. the focus should be on you, not on her

what happens in these situations isn't nearly as important as how you think and feel about it

talk is cheap and low-risk for her. it should not be used as a gauge of her interest level in you

the reality is that highly-interested women don't flake