How Can I Save My Marriage

[Warrior74]

This thread triggered my memory of this quote, " The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. "

Henry Thoreau made that observation about 150 years ago. What's changed ?

The internet. The internet is all james camron on that sh1t, Game Changer. At least now you can vent, whine, and learn from others what ever it is you are living in desperation about.

 

[Nutz]

At the same time, start going out more. Develop a social life, no matter how hard it is at first. Become a leader in and out of your household, developing your confidence at the same time.

Be fun, always have something interesting planned. This will do FAR more to save your marriage or any relationship than any counseling, and it may just keep the seperation and divorce from occurring. If it is not already too late, you could just make that gina tingle again.

Hopefully this can help....http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/relationship-game-week-a-readers-journey/.

I was just going to post that. DaveFromHawaii has his sh!t together, but it wasn't always like that. I did something similar in that the only way to regain power is by showing her you're not afraid to A) dump her and B) you'll have options and live better than her after the fact. I wrote about this the other day on my blog:

http://funandsocial.blogspot.com/2010/03/competition-anxiety.html

 

[Miamidad81]

Today, I decided to get a private investigator to see where she's been going at night from 8-10 pm when she says she's going to the gym. The PI caught her going to some dude's house, giving him a pop kiss, and walking like a couple to the car and then going to the gym together. He has it all on video. I haven't told her ****, but I told her Mom what a ***** of a daugther she has. Her mom tipped her off, and she shot off from the gym to go back to her Mom's house.

I'm glad I was able to find out before wasting any more energy on this ***** of a woman that I wasted 7 years of my life with.

 

[Rescue Mission]

Today, I decided to get a private investigator to see where she's been going at night from 8-10 pm when she says she's going to the gym. The PI caught her going to some dude's house, giving him a pop kiss, and walking like a couple to the car and then going to the gym together. He has it all on video. I haven't told her ****, but I told her Mom what a ***** of a daugther she has. Her mom tipped her off, and she shot off from the gym to go back to her Mom's house.

I'm glad I was able to find out before wasting any more energy on this ***** of a woman that I wasted 7 years of my life with.

so, is this enough to finally stop making excuses and divorce her 100% for good, and move on with your newly found freedom?

You should hit up the clubs/bars this weekend and hook up with some new women - you are no longer considered a cheater, even if you are officially married. She broke the contract first, so now everything, EVERYTHING you do is fair game, even if you pay 3 escorts $500 to have a four-some, tiger-woods-style, you are a FREE man who can fvck and have fun with as many women as you want, as much as you want!!!!!!!

Are you happy??

 

[Miamidad81]

I have had sex with 3 different strippers who all are beyond gorgeous and 10's, but unfortunately I still feel like ****. This person was my entire life for the past 7 years and it all seems like a gigantic waste. I feel completely taken advantage of and like a major chump for having been so good to her all these years, and her always blaming her unhappiness on my family, when in reality she just wanted to live the life of a slut.

I am really hating life right now, and wish I could undo so many things. My son is stuck in the middle of all this, and I'm really pissed off at her the most because of the effect this is gonna have on him.

 

[jophil28]

I have had sex with 3 different strippers who all are beyond gorgeous and 10's, but unfortunately I still feel like ****. This person was my entire life for the past 7 years and it all seems like a gigantic waste. I feel completely taken advantage of and like a major chump for having been so good to her all these years, and her always blaming her unhappiness on my family, when in reality she just wanted to live the life of a slut.

I am really hating life right now, and wish I could undo so many things. My son is stuck in the middle of all this, and I'm really pissed off at her the most because of the effect this is gonna have on him.

Let me ask you two questions.
When was the first time that you felt that tug in your gut that something was seriously not OK in your marriage..?

Did you try to placate your wife when she was upset or unhappy or hissy with dinners, gifts, pleading and "understanding". Did you try to transform her bad moods into good moods by trying to please her with gestures of generosity or compliance with her wishes?

 

[grayclif]

I hope you didn't tell her mom that you have a PI. That should be your lil secret in the event this ends up before a judge.

 

[zekko]

You're out banging strippers but you're upset that she kissed a dude? Sounds like there might be issues on both ends here.

I'm not sure I would call doing strippers "improving myself" either, but to each his own. Different strokes and all.

 

[Miamidad81]

Well I've only banged the strippers since she left the house after our fight. It seems the easiest rout to take considering how closed off from the outside world I have been for so long. I definitely will try to end the habit though.

The way they were walking on video, it looked like they had a very high comfort level, and therefore probably have been doing this for a long time.

 

[jonwon]

Today, I decided to get a private investigator to see where she's been going at night from 8-10 pm when she says she's going to the gym. The PI caught her going to some dude's house, giving him a pop kiss, and walking like a couple to the car and then going to the gym together. He has it all on video. I haven't told her ****, but I told her Mom what a ***** of a daugther she has. Her mom tipped her off, and she shot off from the gym to go back to her Mom's house.

I'm glad I was able to find out before wasting any more energy on this ***** of a woman that I wasted 7 years of my life with.

Like I said many threads back, if she isn't fuc*ing you, the chances of her fuc*ing some other guy is extreamly high.