How can I get my gf back? Please help!

[guerreiro]

Hi guys...

I'm in trouble. Last week (friday) I went out and picked up a couple of chicks in a club. The problem is, I have, or used to have, a girlfriend. So Saturday I went to her place and she saw evidence of this on my neck.

Since women have a special talent for spotting this kind of thing, I tried to lie and say it was a bruise or something, but the damage had been done. So i eventually confessed, and we broke up. Shaggy's "It wasn't me" advice would've come in handy.

However, she had never been the jealous type, and, to quote Main Source, "now I'm realizing that I love her". I screwed up real bad, because I hurt someone who didn't deserve it. Lots of girls might deserve it, but not her. And I did it, I ruined it.

It sucks so bad that I'd rather hear from her that she had also cheated on me, so I wouldn't feel so guilty.

So, after a week of not speaking to her, yesterday I went to her place again just to give back some of her stuff that was with me. We had a long talk, and she says she wants to be angry at me, but she can't, and that she's very disappointed and all.

I told her I wanted her back, but she's already told everyone exactly what's happened (including her closer friends and family) and I guess that's a problem, you all know how women are.

Well then I said I wanted a "last hug" since we wouldn't be seeing each other ever again, it was very emotional, and then, suddenly, we kissed. A long one.

I've been with her for a year, and that was the best kiss ever. Not even our first kisses felt like that. And somehow, it all seems to make sense right now, it's like we needed that "spark" back in the relationship, and I have some hope that we can get back together.

Actually that's why I was cheating on her, I felt like someting was missing. Stupid me!

I feel like such a jerk, but I've learned my lesson. If we get back together, I won't cheat on her ever again, and I'll become a better person for that. Well, that's my illusion right now. That's what happens when nice guys try to become jerks: they screw up and end up hurting themselves.

Anyhow, I just want her back, and I might not be able to do that, but I ain't leaving without a fight.

So I ask you, my friends... How do I get her back? She says it's all very complicated, but I can FEEL we can do it. Any tips on what to do, because I don't want to scare her too much.

And please remember folks... Cheating is NOT cool, this multiple girlfriends thing is only good for so long... Once you feel she's getting serious, it's your duty as a man to let her know what she's getting into... True Don Juans don't hurt people for no reason!

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I am not a relationship expert, but I can tell you that the key is gonna be for her to forgive you. Only then will you two be able to continue. Ask her if she will. If you get back together, you'll know she's forgiven you whe you see she doensn't throw the incident in your face.

 

[chlywly]

You don't love her, if you did you wouldnt have done it, you're just going through the you dunno what ya gone till its gone syndrome, oneitis is on the same concept plane...

Either let her go with dignity, or do what you can to apologise and get her to forgive you...

If you chose option b) then don't **** around on her anymore...

But you dont love her, you're just upset that you lost something you didnt think about before

 

[NewMan]

She will never forget - and ever if you do get back together, she will constantly bring up the fact that you cheated on her.

Things will never be the same.

You F'd up. Learn from it.

If you still want her back, it's up to her to forgive. You've talked to her, told her how you feel, the balls in her court.

Let her have some time to think it through - tell her you want her back you F'd up.

My advice - start clean.

 

[guerreiro]

Thanks for your help, guys. You were all right.

It turned out that the ball was, indeed, in her court. About two weeks ago, she called me saying she wanted to talk. She came to my house and we talked for hours, and in the end, after i said i wanted her back, she said she had forgiven me and wanted to keep seeing me, but not as a boyfriend, since she is ashamed of being with me in front of her family and friends. We kissed again and all but...

You know, I agreed, but deep down I think we both know this is torture. We haven't talked since. Lesson learned!

 

[Longview]

ive been there

it will never be the same again, if she doesnt want to be with you properly then its not worth it.

I went through exactly the same thing and we just saw each other sometimes acted like we were together but we never were and we were never the same again.
We did that from march to september this year and eventually it just all came undone, best thing to do is to make a clean break remain friends but dont act like bf/gf cause it will just **** you up like it did to me, when she moved on.

It may hurt and be really difficult but its the best thing to do, can save you alot of heartbreak in the future.

You did inface **** up big time like me, but ive learnt from it and so can you.

Long

 

[new_juan]

For some reason, girls don't usually forget very easily. For instance I have observed that when an argument starts between a couple the girl can almost always cite almost all of the guys previous transgressions, however, the guy has trouble remembering anything accurately.

For me personally I have never been able to leave mistakes behind with women, cheating always seem to haunt the relationship.

I would reccomend just putting this behind you and moving on. All's fair in love in war and girls do the same stuff to guys all the time so don't feel too bad about it.