How Can I Get my Ex-Girlfriend Back (HELP!)

[dap]

I think the most important thing is that you apologize for being a huge jerk and then say that you understand why she woudn't want to get back together. With that, I would move on and try to act more mature next time.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

she's sick of dealing with it. you aren't ready for a mature relationship.

Can't believe you're still here Backbreaker. Whats up man?

Although your entire post was accurate, it made me uneasy. Why shouldn't she try to find and help out on what my problem is? Isn't a relationship meant to be built? Isn't it about being there for your significant other when they're falling?

I feel like part of the relationship was molded into helping her own self-esteem issues.

from my view point the 2nd one took the cake. it's not even so much that you got mad at her, people get mad. you took a grenade and turned it into a nuclar warhead.

I've done and said alot worser things that I am, even now, ashamed to write about. About two weeks before this happend I told her that I was going to approach a couple of girls that were across the street, whilst she was there, and told her to take my keys and go home. I think that was the point when she started seriously resenting me, but remained normal untill the next time, which is now.

 

[betheman]

I've done and said alot worser things that I am, even now, ashamed to write about. About two weeks before this happend I told her that I was going to approach a couple of girls that were across the street, whilst she was there, and told her to take my keys and go home. I think that was the point when she started seriously resenting me, but remained normal untill the next time, which is now.

how would you have responded had she said she said she was going to approach a couple of other guys? what the hell is going through your mind?

 

[backbreaker]

what i find ironic is that on this site if a girl were to show that type of clear disrespect the poster woudl be castrated and told to grow a sack and leave the girl, for a DJ doesn't put up with that type of ****.

however when you do it, just apologize and all is well.

OP you need to seriously look in the mirror and figure out why you act the way you do. you have zero room to talk about anyone's self esteem issues.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

what i find ironic is that on this site if a girl were to show that type of clear disrespect the poster woudl be castrated and told to grow a sack and leave the girl, for a DJ doesn't put up with that type of ****.

however when you do it, just apologize and all is well.

OP you need to seriously look in the mirror and figure out why you act the way you do. you have zero room to talk about anyone's self esteem issues.

Well I have to admit, that alot of it was "unpleasant joking". I said alot of things that were for my own self amusement (sadistic), and I guess, for psychological control if you look from the outside looking in.

Approaching girls (being a pickup intern) infront of her was abit of a dig -- Normally, she isn't going to approach a few guys or try to make me jealous, because of this fact (she knows I can get other girls easily). But I went too far in trying to make her realize that -- way past the mark. It's like a guy who just learnt how to drive and buys a lamborghini for his first car, then crashes it.

However, if I changed this behavior, why isit deemed "too late"? Thats why I question that four-letter word. It should never be too late.

 

[Sofomore]

Well I have to admit, that alot of it was "unpleasant joking". I said alot of things that were for my own self amusement (sadistic), and I guess, for psychological control if you look from the outside looking in.

Approaching girls (being a pickup intern) infront of her was abit of a dig -- Normally, she isn't going to approach a few guys or try to make me jealous, because of this fact (she knows I can get other girls easily). But I went too far in trying to make her realize that -- way past the mark. It's like a guy who just learnt how to drive and buys a lamborghini for his first car, then crashes it.

However, if I changed this behavior, why isit deemed "too late"? Thats why I question that four-letter word. It should never be too late.

It's too late for THIS girl.

It's not too late for you to change out of your immature state of mind. Clearly you are a ticking time bomb and this girl knows it. Once you didn't make up with her after the second break up the air cleared for her and she realized you actually were a sh!tty boyfriend and that she can do better.

Grow up man. It's sad to read your posts because you are playing little high school games to screw with your (now ex) girlfriend's head.

 

[Sofomore]

To be honest, I don't want her to be happy without me, I don't want her to move on and experience some other guy.

Dude what the fvck is wrong with you? You are a terrible person.

 

[bigm98]

This is the problem right here with the pick up community and a lot of people on this site. You get so caught up in the game that you forget how to have meaningful relationships. You analyze every situation, every sentence, ever feeling. Although it's good to be aware of these things, it's no fun to sit around digging through sh!t just to figure out "how to have the upper hand." If you're spending that much time trying to keep attraction high, eventually it's going to backfire. You can't just be a d!ckhead the whole relationship thinking women will put up with whatever sh!t you give them (contrary to popular belief on this site). The best women have self-respect and morals. Only insecure/psychotic women will stick around for mental abuse. The fact that she has decided not to get back with you pretty much tells me that she is way more mature than you.

A real man doesn't feign indifference or pretend to care less. It's not in a proper males lifestyle to change his own beliefs/outer image to gain control or please others. In fact, it's pretty childish and immature. You guys broke up twice over the same issue, which tells me sh!t isn't changing on YOUR end any time soon.

Luckily for you, you'll find a lot of people here who are in similar situations. I find most of the time people who read this site go through some stages: 1.) they come here feeling all powerful and sh!t over the recent influx of information they receive from the DJ bible or other threads 2.) They then start feeling down on themselves due to a recent breakup or lack of success with women, because although they know what to do, they lack confidence 3.) They get angry at women and believe that being a total d!ck to them will make a woman believe you're not a beta maleand have panties dropping like in every FR you find on this site 4.) They eventually realize that being a man isn't about what you read on this site, what you learn in a book, or what other people say it is. Being a man is a mix of personal experience, having principles, ambition, and integrity. If people don't like what you do, fck it, too bad for them. On that same note, if you DO find people who like you, what you do, and how you do it, it's ok to give them your respect and your time. A woman who stays with you for 1.5 years after you've been a real a$$hole (not the good kind) deserves your respect. From what I can tell there were no red flags, no nothing from this woman. All trouble stemmed from you.

Incredibly accurate. Should definitely be sticked.

 

[ScottMustaine]

Although your entire post was accurate, it made me uneasy. Why shouldn't she try to find and help out on what my problem is? Isn't a relationship meant to be built? Isn't it about being there for your significant other when they're falling?

I have to ask you, did you try to help her fix her 'personallity' issues ? Because I have a picture you were just throwing your frustrations on her and her, being silent.



@SoSuave666 We discussed in inbox, thanks for the help dude. Though I still stand that he should just say sincerely what he feels and apologize, not because he wants her back, but because of being a human. Of course apology when he actually sees the damage he has done. But your theory is true.

You should never apologize to **** women make and blame it on you, we all know how retarded they can be, but there are still nice women out there who are decent and not retarded pesky brats.




So far all I've got to say.. "Dude...The show is over."



I advice you to go to talk with a psychologist about anger issues, but DON'T TAKE MEDICINE.

 

[andy_4029]

wow OP I cant believe I just read this thread, you sound EXACTLY like me. Same scenario with my ex, dated for 1 year and I honestly have no idea how she stuck with me for so long because of how i was treating her. I initiated a mutual break up, did NC for 3 weeks but then I wanted to get back. I asked her and she said no, and its been 4 weeks NC since then. At this point I realize its 99% over and theres nothing I can do about this particular girl, but please keep updating this thread and let us know what happens because I want to know what you do to fix this problem. I am honestly scared I will end up growing old and alone because of this, I always meet plenty of girls with extremely high interest and just treat them like **** until they leave.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

Updating for Andy:

Finally got around to speaking with her, after numerous attempts and her blocking out my number when it rang. Apparently she had left her phone at home, whilst going out tot jog. She has taken up this new extreme motivation to get fit since we've broken up.

Anyway, from her tone I can tell she is emotionally devastated yet firm in her decisions. She is still going with the notion of being seperate because "its for the best" and that talking to me is going to distress her even more. She has stated that for the last 2-3 weeks, she has been fine and concentrating on her work, untill when she speaks to me over the phone - she breaks down and cries.

After a tedious and painful task to get her to meet up with me, she agreed. But only agreed to it, so that it will be a good send-off and not to reconile a relationship. When we broke up the last time, she was adamant about her decisions then, but still came home, and had sex with me that same evening.

She is afraid that i will try to "manipulate" her into doing that again. That I will "touch, hug, etc" her a way. I can tell that she is just trying to be strong. She insists that she doesn't want to "hurt" me and has thoroghly made up her mind. Her heart tells her otherwise, but her mind and thoughts tell her that it is the logical thing to do.

She has hung up the phone numerous times when her parents come into the house or are walking beside her bedroom, incase they discover that she is talking to me. She als has removed alot of positive boyfriend-related posts on her fitness blogs asof recent, so all of this is telling me that she is trying to build up an even more muck around the already existing facade around and about me - I don't believe it's a stint on her "moving on", but rather an aim to conceal her emotions and forget about me, the LOGICAL way.

So, we're going to meet up this weekend and have a "chat". She hung up once, then texted me explaining that she doesn't want to speak anymore. I fought and fought it out over text untill I just called her again, which ofcourse she picked up. I asked her why she was playing games with the meetup with a slightly angrier tone in my voice, and she then complied again.

I'm not sure if she feels guilty, but what the heck - I wouldn't want her to appear just out of guilt and to bargain.

I had to persuade her that i had to show her "something" for her to agree to come and chat with me. I infact have nothing to show her, but I made up this quasimagical plan on how we can see eachother on good terms which is borderline "obsessive", but also passionate - Just so she can see and realize how much I want this to work between us.

I only fear, that this time though, she will NOT give in so easily as before, or atall for that matter.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

Bummppp.

 

[Cabal]

Douche.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

Douche.

Lold, how left-field and out of place.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Back In 6 Months.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

I think that's been the general consensus on this thread.

Not that i'm one to judge. glass houses and all...

I keep forgetting how easily influenced people are on internet forums, especially when following a general consensus in threads. It only takes one or two people to say something and the rest follow like sheep.

Should've posted in Mature Man

 

[blindnowisee]

Nothing is eternal - relationships come and go.

Two things I've learnt over the years:
- strive to always be aware of everything that is happening around you (e.g. projected on this situation: acknowledge that the relationship was going downhill.. the last X weeks it all fizzled to an end)
- that there's always 2 ways of viewing situations: positive and negative.

I'll elaborate:

Your gf ends the relationship.

Negative: my world is destroyed.. she was my everything. I'm completely shattered / broken. My happiness is completely dependent on hanging onto this one girl. This one woman out of billions of women.. She was THE ONE (btw 'The One' is a concept that falls into the same category as unicorns and leprechauns)

Positive: I'm free.. I can pursue my own passions / interests / hobbies without having to ensure that you're not upsetting anyone. You're the trailblazer - go forth and blaze a new trail.. your own trail.

In which category does "desperately trying to figure out how to get my ex back" fall into?

 

[Cabal]

I'm 31, definitely a mature man forum candidate, and I've been dealing with sh*t you couldn't imagine.

I'm not following any general consensus. The only posts I've read are yours, that's my way. I get into consensus only after I've pitched in, I don't do forming opinions by proxy (you'll find from the forum I have a personal problem with people who do, it got me shanked).

You ARE a douche.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

z

I'm 31, definitely a mature man forum candidate, and I've been dealing with sh*t you couldn't imagine.

I'm not following any general consensus. The only posts I've read are yours, that's my way. I get into consensus only after I've pitched in, I don't do forming opinions by proxy (you'll find from the forum I have a personal problem with people who do, it got me shanked).

You ARE a douche.

Lol so, you're 31? And? No, you're not mature. Maturity doesn't denote to name calling. I would acknowledge you, if you and me knew eachothers real names, but even then, I probably would continue to rip a giant fart at your expense.

Your opinion and negative energy is none of my business Cabal. Calling other men "douches" for their wrongs against the opposite sex is like rallying with feminists at a radical anti-male festival. I'll write your cardboards for you.

 

[yyyy1313]

You ****ed up dude, it's over. You crossed the line of no return with this girl.

It's tough to be in a relationship with someone that gets to see all the facets of you. You shared everything with this person including the ugly side that you wouldn't show to anyone else. At least you know how ugly you can be in a relationship. You now just have to work on it so you don't make these mistakes in the next one. I can relate, I ****ed up in a similar fashion. Only difference in my situation is I ended it after realizing I needed to work on me.

Good luck man, hope you do some self reflection improve upon yourself and move on.