How are you supposed to treat your oneitis crush?

dap

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I have oneitis, but its not that bad. I just get a little nervous around her (i dont get that nervous around other girls). I know the cure for oneitis is to go after ten other girls, and all that stuff, but how should you treat the girl you have oneitis for? Do you ignore/avoid her to get the oneitis to go away? Do you flirt with her and try to overcome your nervousness/treat her like you would any other girl?
 
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Scought

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It can be a tough situation.

And, to be honest, a little oneitis is going to creep up no matter who you are.

I know the advice is to date other women, and that may work, however, we all meet one girl that is head and shoulders above the other women we are dating. It's impossible to not have more feelings for her, as she is hotter/funnier/easier to get along with, than the others.

The point, though, is to fight through it and realize there are tons of hot women everywhere, and that acting any different towards her, compared to others is a mistake.
 

LowPlainsDrifter

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I had a terrible case of oneitits recently. I got over it by simply resolving to find other women, chat them up in bookstores, find them on the Internet, etc.
Also, get busy and "get a life." I found a bunch of enriching activities to involve myself in.
It's almost magic - when you work on yourself, women sometimes just appear out of nowhere...
 

dap

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Yea, i understand all that stuff. But meanwhile I have to keep seeing the girl i have oneitis for (shes in a class of mine). Do I ignore her? Treat her like any other girl? Flirt?
 

reset

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Scought said:
It can be a tough situation.

And, to be honest, a little oneitis is going to creep up no matter who you are.

I know the advice is to date other women, and that may work, however, we all meet one girl that is head and shoulders above the other women we are dating. It's impossible to not have more feelings for her, as she is hotter/funnier/easier to get along with, than the others.

The point, though, is to fight through it and realize there are tons of hot women everywhere, and that acting any different towards her, compared to others is a mistake.
Good view Scought. Seems like many posts here say if you think one girl is better than the others there is something wrong with you.

I think just actively fighting through it helps. An AFC would just dive in and lose themselves. I'm actually fighting through something like this. At least I'm aware of it though.

For me all I can do is remind myself indeed I do have options. I remind myself of all the successes I've had with women, big or small, and keep the perspective that while this girl may be special, there's nothing stopping me from meeting other girls that are just as, if not more, special.

It's kind of a fake it till you make it approach, but it's a start. Visualization. Thinking of abundance. See yourself talking to hot women, and women who are "special" like it's nothing. The more you do that, the more real it becomes in your mind.

Another thing is to find something you're passionate about, and just lose yourself in it. When you do that, you stop thinking of chicks. For me it's writing music, once I get in that zone, it's like I keep rediscovering something better than women.

See in posting here, I've just given myself a prescription for what it is that I HAVE to do.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

omgwtfm8

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What happens when you are talking to other chicks, going on dates with others, partying, but no matter how much you do; You just can't seem to stop thinking about that one?
 

Fred Da Head

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In the good old days, there was an acronym for the solution to this: GFTOW.

Getting a life works, too. Actually, it probably works even better; women should never be anywhere NEAR the center of your universe.
 

spread_love

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dap said:
I have oneitis, but its not that bad. I just get a little nervous around her (i dont get that nervous around other girls). I know the cure for oneitis is to go after ten other girls, and all that stuff, but how should you treat the girl you have oneitis for? Do you ignore/avoid her to get the oneitis to go away? Do you flirt with her and try to overcome your nervousness/treat her like you would any other girl?

Yep, that's the key just to treat her like any other girl and think to yourself why is she so special?...what does she have that the thousands, millions out there don't?...and lastly...why on earth am I putting her up on a pedestal and her not me?
 

spread_love

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LowPlainsDrifter said:
I had a terrible case of oneitits recently. I got over it by simply resolving to find other women, chat them up in bookstores, find them on the Internet, etc.
Also, get busy and "get a life." I found a bunch of enriching activities to involve myself in.
It's almost magic - when you work on yourself, women sometimes just appear out of nowhere...
So did I man, looking back she was a spiteful, arrogant slut and I was just disillusioned...

It almost happened again but I just thought of the last situation and asked myself...come on J what she does really have that the others don't?

I found my answer and we are close friends, there is a lot of fun flirting between us and I still find her attractive but she is happy in her relationship and a cool chick so **** it...it wasn't meant to be...such is life.
 
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