How are women able to go from high interest to low interest in such a short period

[Bingo-Player]

Just doing some reflecting on myself this afternoon and something i kept coming back too was how do women manage to go from such a high interest to such a low interest in a matter of hours

Example:

HB 8 is hot for me and texts ME asking if im going to the club tonight and i should text her when im out ...

Great i think , guaranteed lay here .... like when the fvck do HB 8’s ever randomly text you out of the blue these days and ask you if you wanna meet especially when i know full well this girl has orbiters texting her 25 hours a day – interest is clearly high

So We meet up in the club I’m pulling out smooth material but I don’t exactly feel like she’s burning up for me and my attempts at isolation are being dismissed so i eject and leave

Later see her leaving with another dude which irriates me but im seasoned when it comes to dealing with chicks like this so let it go over my head

Naturally haven’t contacted her since , and her likewise

Ok whatever bishes be crazy ......next !

What i cant get my head around is how she went from hot to cold within a matter of hours over seemingly nothing, its disturbing

I keep replying the frame over in my head to find what went wrong but cant think of much

This example is just one of many , is it just something that happens when your dealing with good looking women ?

 

[Roni_88]

Just doing some reflecting on myself this afternoon and something i kept coming back too was how do women manage to go from such a high interest to such a low interest in a matter of hours

Example:

HB 8 is hot for me and texts ME asking if im going to the club tonight and i should text her when im out ...

Great i think , guaranteed lay here .... like when the fvck do HB 8’s ever randomly text you out of the blue these days and ask you if you wanna meet especially when i know full well this girl has orbiters texting her 25 hours a day – interest is clearly high

So We meet up in the club I’m pulling out smooth material but I don’t exactly feel like she’s burning up for me and my attempts at isolation are being dismissed so i eject and leave

Later see her leaving with another dude which irriates me but im seasoned when it comes to dealing with chicks like this so let it go over my head

Naturally haven’t contacted her since , and her likewise

Ok whatever bishes be crazy ......next !

What i cant get my head around is how she went from hot to cold within a matter of hours over seemingly nothing, its disturbing

I keep replying the frame over in my head to find what went wrong but cant think of much

This example is just one of many , is it just something that happens when your dealing with good looking women ?

That has happened to me lately also in a frequent basis.. mostly with 7- or 8s .. the only thing you can do is just don't give a **** about it (I know easier said than done),, don't rationalize about it and jump to the next one.. and surprisingly they will look for you again in most cases.. since you didn't feed her attention ego or show weakness .. at the beginning I would always get irritated or break my head thinking what happened.. now I just take it as what it is with their million illogical reasons and continue. If they need me they know how to find me.

 

[Obsidian]

Most likely, she only had a moderate level of interest in the first place. She was perhaps bored, or bruised by another guy, or something similar, so she reached out to you to feel better. She never truly had any high interest. She just pretended.

I say that as someone who got burned recently by a hot-and-cold chick who I went out with for a little while. Girls will pretend.

(The other alternative is that she is a bit crazy.)

 

[expos]

Most likely, she only had a moderate level of interest in the first place. She was perhaps bored, or bruised by another guy, or something similar, so she reached out to you to feel better. She never truly had any high interest. She just pretended.

I say that as someone who got burned recently by a hot-and-cold chick who I went out with for a little while. Girls will pretend.

(The other alternative is that she is a bit crazy.)

This. It's feeding a need for their over-inflated ego. Don't feed them anymore drivel. Realize that you can always find a better looking chick, or one that looks like the girl you are into and try to bang them too. I had a streak of women in my twenties (blonde, short, big boobs) that I had plowed through - all looking very similar. I was able to get through every little breakup because I didn't have that scarcity mentality.

OP - you are going to be fine! To hell with that b!tch.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

It is completely normal for me to feel hot-and-cold toward chicks. My interest level often goes from high to low in an instant. Usually I obsess over a chick then lose all interest right after fvucking them.

Yes.

At this stage, I too anticipate in advance that the boredom will begin to rapidly rush in once I go the distance with any one particular girl.

I read a field report recently from some guy who claimed to deliberately go beta to varying degrees with girls he was seeing in order to gauge how fast their interest would wane. Maybe you can explore a similar route, OP? Maybe not in the interest of timing how long it takes for them to ditch you, but as a means to completely desensitize yourself to this sort of experience.

 

[G_Govan]

How are women able to go from high interest to low interest in such a short period

They never had "high interest" to begin with. That's the rub. It's either that or you said/did something really extreme to turn them off, which unless you're mentally ill isn't usually the case. They have so many options that average men are shuffled around like a deck of cards.

They use our general thirst and ego against us. You can easily blind yourself to what's actually taking place if you have more interest in them than they you.

 

[G_Govan]

If you go out on 10 first dates and zero of them go any further, I think it's prudent to ask yourself what went wrong and fix it so it doesn't happen again.

You can't just isolate things that happen on the date.

How did you meet these women in the first place?

What's your history with them?

How old are they?

How attractive are they?

A lot of men have this false belief that they can "control" the outcome of any date if their game is good and ignore red flags about the behavior of the women they're with.

You need to be comfortable with knowing that there will be women you interact with who simply aren't into you... enough or at all sometimes. Develop some standards of your own and stop constantly chasing women with little to no interest giving away your time and attention for free.

Stop making it so easy for them to use you.

 

[Atom Smasher]

It's because bar skanks and club rats are the lowest life forms on the planet. I decided they were a waste of my time at 22. To each his own.

 

[Mr_Maximus]

Most likely, she only had a moderate level of interest in the first place. She was perhaps bored, or bruised by another guy, or something similar, so she reached out to you to feel better. She never truly had any high interest. She just pretended.

I say that as someone who got burned recently by a hot-and-cold chick who I went out with for a little while. Girls will pretend.

(The other alternative is that she is a bit crazy.)

I am thinking the same as above..

Bingo, can you share more and tell us why you thought HB8 was hot for you?

 

[Bingo-Player]

thanks for everyones input

i aint worried about her , infact i was surprised about how easily i removed that nagging feeling to "reason" with her the following day

this is definitely an ability I've gained from this forum over the last 18 months and something I'm pretty proud off

i wasn't mad , just bewildered as to why go to the trouble of texting me wanting to meet and then changing her mind at the last second

but saying that back to myself it dosent sound too confusing at all , we know full well women at the best of time have trouble making and keeping decisions

anyway moving off this specific example because i feel we are missing the point

I'm now 90% certain that a majority of the modern game is futile unless you are able to figure out a way to get her to invest in you

it dosent need to be much but without it , you are going to be constantly subjected to examples such as the above

i failed to get this girl to invest anything in me other than a simple text , and as a result i paid a heavy price

all the ****y funny , value , confidence, texting games mean absolutely fvck all without investment on her part

why would a woman need to commit to you without reason ? she can have her pick of guys with expensive cars , watches , money most nights of the week

so lets have some examples of investment on her part

Emotional - this is the hardest because you need her to open up and the only way you can do this is by either a, spending large amounts of time with her which risks you being friendzoned or b, going through some sort of euphoria / trauma with her .........(if anyone wants to add to this please feel free)


physical / materialistc -no not sex ..... i mean stuff like getting her to give you a ride and making her go out of her way , getting her to go shopping with you , letting her pick an outfit/ aftershave for you .....all of this is good because it forces her to see you as HERS


sexually- finally my favourite although I'm not the best at it and again difficult to pull off because you need to make sure you ramp up that primal attraction with her and slowly .....this takes confidence and a lot of it ......wanting glances turn into inappropriate brushes into inappropriately placed hands .....into tearing each others clothes off

its tricky but when you get it right there isn't a better feeling in the world and you can guarantee she will never look at another man

feel free to chip in guys

 

[Bingo-Player]

I am thinking the same as above..

Bingo, can you share more and tell us why you thought HB8 was hot for you?

as i said above my spidey senses were tingling .....the final straw was when i got that text out of the blue from her

" MAKE SURE YOU LET ME KNOW WHERE YOUR AT TONIGHT SHOTS ARE ON ME "

i don't know about the rest of you but when a chick texts you something like that out of nowhere to me it reads

" I'm horny asf and have taken it upon myself to select you to pound the living sh1t out of me "

 

[Atom Smasher]

Sounds like she summoned you to her own playing field (where she feels free to change the rules on a whim).

To another point you made, another way to get investment from a woman is to have your own little "secret" between you, something that's just between you and her. This is another thing that makes them feel like they've known you for a long time.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is such bad advice.

In BP's example, she ended up leaving with another guy. So, he did something that BP failed to do. Our mission is to find out exactly what WE do wrong in these situations so it doesn't happen again.

Only caveat here is if she called him out specifically to make another guy jealous.


'don't worry about it!' and 'Next!' are too commonly used around here.

If you go out on 10 first dates and zero of them go any further, I think it's prudent to ask yourself what went wrong and fix it so it doesn't happen again.

The thing that is mind boggling to me is some of the dates that I thought went awesome, ie all signs pointing towards high interest from her, her initiating things...touching, kino, sometimes even kissing, etc and you never hear from them again afterwards

Then other dates that you thought didn't go well at all the girl texts you the next day saying how much fun she had and that she wants to see you again.

I mean, WTF??

 

[Obsidian]

Yeah, I'm with you on that.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Because she bull****s you so you never know exactly whats on their mind so dont dwell on **** much and whatever happens happens.

 

[Trump]

as i said above my spidey senses were tingling .....the final straw was when i got that text out of the blue from her

" MAKE SURE YOU LET ME KNOW WHERE YOUR AT TONIGHT SHOTS ARE ON ME "

i don't know about the rest of you but when a chick texts you something like that out of nowhere to me it reads

" I'm horny asf and have taken it upon myself to select you to pound the living sh1t out of me "

:nono:

To me it reads: "I want to how desperate you are. Are you going to answer my question directly or be laid back and cool and make me think you already have a girl you are having sex with."

WORDS mean NOTHING to girls. That text could mean 100 things, she could also mean;

1) she got confused and that text wasn't meant for you
2) she was thinking about you but then changed her mind
3) she needed a ride home so she wanted to buy you a drink for payback

Or many other things. There is NOTHING in her text that says she wants to have sex with you.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

It's because bar skanks and club rats are the lowest life forms on the planet. I decided they were a waste of my time at 22. To each his own.

But I had sooo much fun tonight!

Women are like cats.. jump on your lap one minute... off somewhere else the next.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Sooooo... since no one has seemed to point out the main problem here, I'll go ahead and do it myself:

HB 8 is hot for me and texts ME asking if im going to the club tonight and i should text her when im out ...

And THIS, my friend, is where you lost. Lemme explain:

1. Assuming you just met this girl, right off the bat you lose your frame. She hits you up one day and asks if you're going to be free THAT SAME DAY... and you say yes?? No bueno - when you're first starting out with a girl, last-minute same day plans are a "no-no." It (a) shows you're too available, (b) gives the impression you were desperately waiting for her to hit you up to hang out, and (c) makes her feel like you have nothing else going on OR no one else chasing after you. All of which can cause panties to dry up quickly. Understand this: just because she hits you up to hang out doesn't mean she psychologically NEEDS to see you. Believe it or not, she might be calling you so she can actually HEAR that you have other things going on already, and that she needs to call in advance before making plans with you - that way, her subconscious will get that you're an attractive guy that probably has other options... which will only make her want to fight more to be WITH you.

2. She told you to text you when you're out. In other words, she's now giving you orders, and you're obeying. Which makes HER the one wearing the pants in this yet-to-be-a-relationship scenario - and women don't want to be the ones wearing the pants. So, when she told you to text her when you're out... well, for one, you shouldn't have agreed to the outing; but two, if you were going to go along with the plan anyway, you should have just said "no need, I'll pick you up" or "no need, just meet me there at x-time."

3. The club is not a place for a date. The club is not a place for a date. The club is not a place for a date.

Repeat that mantra, and never, EVER take a new girl to the club as a date, for a few reasons. One, it's usually noisy and doesn't allow you two to talk and actually get to know each other. And two - and I can't believe I have to point this out to you - is that there is competition EVERYWHERE. Like, TONS of other single dudes are at the club waiting to pounce on her, and you threw her right into their pathway! No bueno - especially if she's the one that brought it up, you should have turned that offer down and said something like: "But hey, why don't you and I go out to x-place on Sunday for dinner/drinks/activity of some kind besides the club?" THAT would have allowed you to have her one-on-one, which is CRUCIAL in getting her to feel comfortable enough to want to sleep with you.

Anyway... hope this helps!

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Most men can't judge a woman's interest and mistake being friendly for high interest.

 

[Roni_88]

This is such bad advice.

In BP's example, she ended up leaving with another guy. So, he did something that BP failed to do. Our mission is to find out exactly what WE do wrong in these situations so it doesn't happen again.

Only caveat here is if she called him out specifically to make another guy jealous.


'don't worry about it!' and 'Next!' are too commonly used around here.

If you go out on 10 first dates and zero of them go any further, I think it's prudent to ask yourself what went wrong and fix it so it doesn't happen again.

Why are you excusing her behavior and not seeing into what she did ? ,, I basically said don't give a **** because with her actions she said enough .. if interest is high that would have not happened. we should always seek for improvement but you cant just let her get away with everything and see it as the "guys" fault. Its called having standards.