How approach women in a social environment without loose status?

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

While I used to approach women on the street, I found very difficult approach them on a specific social environment.

For example at the university or at the gym. In this kind of situation I always ended being a guy who attract a lot of women, but I also feel stuck in this particular situation.

The reason is because, when approaching women, you never know what their reaction can be, and when other people are watching, they speak, and they end to put a label on you like "he is the guy who approach and get refuse". This can especially ruin your potential with ither girls.
Being rejected by a girl it mean that other women loose interest on you.

Just for doing an example, today at the gym I was keeping my self confident status, play the game of status with the other men who tried to put me down. Keeping this self confident, misterious state, I always attract a lot of women. So today I was speaking with the girl at the gym reception for asking some questions. She ended rejecting me just for asking question about the gym, shaking her head no. I kept my cool and just go away from her.

In Italy, I saw many women doing this. Just shakind their head for **** testing you, and also pretending your approach after they shaked the head. I always stay away from these girls, that just start everything with a toxic entitlement.

But the point I want to say is this: in a social environment is easy to loose status, and you can loose it just because a woman start to shake her head, **** testing you. How can we approach "the right way"? Is there a way to approach without loosing status?

This is one of the main reasons why I don't approach women in this kind of places.

 

[BPH]

Don't hit on a gym receptionist...

One of my plates works as one and she absolutely hates how many older guys come in and try to flirt with her while she's just trying to do her job.

To answer your original question, it helps to approach women in places that you do NOT frequent. I'm writing a piece on this, basically what I did was approach women at the beach my family visited each year for vacation. When I was back home I would drive about 20 minutes and walk around the mall.

Because you are correct - if you approach women in the same places, over time you will see those same women and develop a bad reputation.

 

[SW15]

Don't hit on a gym receptionist...

One of my plates works as one and she absolutely hates how many older guys come in and try to flirt with her while she's just trying to do her job.

I agree with this. At the gym, don't hit on a gym receptionist or even a fitness class instructor. I started an excellent thread on this topic in 2020 about hitting on women who have jobs where they are required to interact with the public.

Successfully Approaching Women at Work (General Public Workers)

The idea of approaching women while they are at their jobs containing interaction with the general public is a topic that is somewhat contentious among men. When I think of women who work with the general public, these are the categories that come to mind of women to approach. Strippers...

www.sosuave.net

To answer your original question, it helps to approach women in places that you do NOT frequent.

you are correct - if you approach women in the same places, over time you will see those same women and develop a bad reputation.

I'm a big believer in mixing up venues for meeting women. In a bigger city environment like where I live, this is easy to do. I mix up where I daygame and the bars where I go to. You'll always be meeting new women with no past history by doing this.

 

[Clockwerk50]

In a social environment, it’s often best to approach your targets indirectly. This means your initial strategy should involve drawing them to you rather than approaching them directly. You can capture their attention by positioning yourself around their periphery in various locations without making a direct approach, or by befriending them and gradually getting closer while maintaining an appropriate friendly distance, or by engaging in a cat-and-mouse game—showing interest and then stepping back. This approach minimizes the risk of resentment or counteractions if things don’t go as planned. Also, you have to give them space since too much attention early on will actually just suggest insecurity and raise doubts as to your motives.

In this interaction, you may have come across as too thirsty and eager, which can be a turn-off and can come off as a having no options. Also, since she is a receptionist at a gym, she is likely accustomed to being around attractive people, and let's be frank, you just recently started going to the gym.

 

[corrector]

All this crap for asking legit questions about the gym...no wonder it is 68%. It is really rocket science, lol!

 

[Manure Spherian]

While I used to approach women on the street, I found very difficult approach them on a specific social environment.

Right. Most men with women didn’t get them by approaching.

 

[user252009]

That's why I don't approach, the cringe of seeing some random dude trying to talk to a hot girl at the gym and the girl not being interested kills me inside - and I'm not even the guy approaching her

 

[The Diver]

While I used to approach women on the street, I found very difficult approach them on a specific social environment.

For example at the university or at the gym. In this kind of situation I always ended being a guy who attract a lot of women, but I also feel stuck in this particular situation.

The reason is because, when approaching women, you never know what their reaction can be, and when other people are watching, they speak, and they end to put a label on you like "he is the guy who approach and get refuse". This can especially ruin your potential with ither girls.
Being rejected by a girl it mean that other women loose interest on you.

Just for doing an example, today at the gym I was keeping my self confident status, play the game of status with the other men who tried to put me down. Keeping this self confident, misterious state, I always attract a lot of women. So today I was speaking with the girl at the gym reception for asking some questions. She ended rejecting me just for asking question about the gym, shaking her head no. I kept my cool and just go away from her.

In Italy, I saw many women doing this. Just shakind their head for **** testing you, and also pretending your approach after they shaked the head. I always stay away from these girls, that just start everything with a toxic entitlement.

But the point I want to say is this: in a social environment is easy to loose status, and you can loose it just because a woman start to shake her head, **** testing you. How can we approach "the right way"? Is there a way to approach without loosing status?

This is one of the main reasons why I don't approach women in this kind of places.

Not to put you down , but your post has a lot of contradictions:
A man who claims to have status, has confidence and attracts a lot of women, won't be bother with what others think about him , what people label him with or worried about his status due to Smartly approaching women.

 

[Lean Baby Face]

As a general rule don't hit on women who are part of communities where the male numbers massively outweighs the female, such as fitness, diet (except vegan maybe), gaming, rock music, or right-leaning political groups since you can be very sure the women there are sick of constantly dealing with approaches all the time by men who think their shared interests are all that's required for them to be attractive in the eyes of these women.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

Thank you all guys for the answers.
About that receptionist, I really wasn't trying anything with her, I just was giving her my medic certificate (wich the gym requires) and thats it. That woman just got triggered because I just was speaking with her, and nothing else. So, I don't even like her, but she did this rejection stuff just because she is just a bit dump I think.

Since I ignore women, and I play the game of the selector, I make women compete each others to have my attention. So basically, each time I am in a social environment, women start to compete, make me see their asses, trying to cross my path while I walk, or more rarelly, they even try to speak with me. Many of them try to force me to look in their eyes.

So, since I do this from many years, I like I got this skill of being the guy who attract and select women. The fact is that is very easy to loose this image by just speaking with a dump girl who misunderstand my intention, and reject me just beacuse I have to give her the medic certificate. In that moment I played cool.

Since this point I am a good player, but once I have to approach, social environment are very risky.


But there is another thing I would say.

In this kind of social environments, people are manly always the same people. I was frequenting a bar near the university years ago. that bar was frequented by many guys, and we all became like a giant group where everybody knows everybody.

Since this tactic I used, and even because i am genuinely selective (I dislike stupid women and narcisistic ones too), I ended many times by having women telling me "I love you" or "I like you, you are the best".

What I want to say is: "in a social environment is way more risky, but is also easier to play game on the same women withou being direct". And when women see you almost everyday, and see me as a high value men, is very esay to get them like you a lot, without even say a word.

This is my experience of years doing this, and rarely went beyond this.

I remembered that when I was approaching women in this bar, without caring what people think, women were jealous, and my social status raised up, even if I wasn't successfull. In that period of my life I wasn't giving a **** of what people think.

But after, what happened? That basically all the men in that social environment gathered against me, trying to put me down in in any possible way. This is why today I resent approach women. Mainly because of men, and if all the men start to be aggressive towards me, it became a problem to stay in that gym.

I always had my own "way" to act and think, and this seems to be a trigger for many men.

What do you guys thinks about this?

Thanks all for your answers

 

[RangerMIke]

The only reason why anyone would feel uncomfortable with an approach, regardless of the situation (social situation, in a store, walking around, in a gym) is because they are getting ahead of themselves. No one should EVER, at the point of introduction, assume ANYTHING is going to happen. It is one step in a process.

I. Introduction.
II. Gauge attraction
III. Ask for number of a date
IV. She shows up
V. You have a good time
VI. Repeat step V until it ends (which is what usually happens) or die in old age.

I. Introduction: The purpose is to see if the person is willing to engage you and give you an opportunity to see if the person is attracted to you. That's it... there is nothing else to it. There is absolutely NO WAY anyone can screw this up because only one of two things can happen (1) She seems attracted, conversation is easy, she stays engaged. (2) It's awkward as fvck, she's not engaged... distracted, or as what happens occasionally, she just shoots you down HARD. If it's (1), you can move on to the III. and try to make a date. If it's (2), that's good too, you can now flush her from your mind and move on to the next one.

If a man is having a hard time striking up a conversation with people... well... Goggle how to do that, there is plenty of help out there teaching people how to do this. The only advice I'll give about this is to learn how to do this with ANYONE, and practice... Any man that has approach anxiety with women doesn't have enough practice. Start out just striking up conversations with other dudes or woman you have no interest in AT ALL. If all you do is try to engage only women, you are attracted too you will not get enough practice. It's like trying to hit free-throws in a big game when you haven't tried to hit a free throw in a low pressure practice by yourself in your yard.

 

[jhonny9546]

Yes, this is an issue if you are trying to play "the game" in your "common" circle of exposure. Which are the best ways we can keep our anonymity and make approaches or try with women without getting targeted as a player in our city or most close circle?

 

[manfromitaly]

In my opinion the best way not to lose status in environments like the gym is to approach indirectly, for example if a girl is using a machine near you you could say something casual, just to attract attention, something that doesn't give away the possibility of rejecting you.

The gym is certainly not the best place to approach.

You have to be intelligent, the best you can do without losing face is this in my opinion.

Be as indirect as possible, if a girl likes you, that's enough, she'll create the opportunity.

This is my point of view, I could be wrong

 

[SW15]

Which are the best ways we can keep our anonymity and make approaches or try with women without getting targeted as a player in our city or most close circle?

Since I graduated college almost 20 years ago, I have lived in 2 of the 15 most populated metropolitan areas in the United States. These are metro areas with population in the millions. I have never had a problem with getting targeted as a player. I have kept my anonymity when approaching. Most men in larger metropolitan areas will stay mostly anonymous when doing in-person approaches so long as they go to at least a few different venues over time. It is good to mix up your nightlife venues and your non-bar "daygame" type spots.

Most men do not "game" too hard in their social circles. While plenty of men try to use social circles in their dating lives, it's usually not for building up a large number of notches. They'll use their social circles to date someone on a longer term basis. In a paragraph below, I'll explain how that can work.

Both in-person approaching and using social circles are declining. A lot of in-person approaching has been replaced by the use of swipe apps and trying to slide into the DMs of a stranger/semi-stranger on a social media platform. Some DMing has replaced some social circle game if the DMing is of with whom you share common friends/acquaintances.

In general, social circle interactions are better options in the shorter to medium to for finding a girlfriend. If you're looking for an extended relationship (1-5 years or more), your best bet for getting that with the least amount of grief and frustration is through a social circle. You won't have to do as many approaches in either non-bar venues or nightlife venues or take as many rejections. You won't have a miserable time on swipe apps.

For men with social circles, the problem with the social circle method eventually becomes sustainability as social circles get pissed at men who continually exchange girlfriends, even if the relationships are semi-long (1-5 years). The behavior described in the last sentence is serial monogamy, so it is accurate to say that social circles get pissed off at serial monogamists. It is important to remember that social circles generally have a blue pill viewpoint on romantic relationships. A man might be able to pull 2 LTRs from a social circle without marrying one. After 2 instances, he will have typically bled the social circle dry. In a lot of cases, this doesn't matter to men, as they are simply looking to settle down and exit the phase of life where they are actively seeking new sex partners. This is the type of man that never makes it on to a forum like SoSuave, but every single one of us would know a man that fits that description.

 

[Sleeperhead]

I was on a train a few months ago. It is busy rush hour and the train is packed, so I have to stand. This girl gets on and is standing next to me, she catches my eye because she is wearing a red lace top, showing some cleavage. After a while she goes to sit down directly in my line of sight. She is not paying me any attention, she hasn't even noticed me.

I casually observe her sit down, she clocks on to me looking at her. At this point I don't really care, I run my eyes up and down her body while she gazes back. Her reaction is a mixture of nervousness and interest. I break off the eye contact, feeling ****y because I have made an impact on her.

She moves to the back of the train while looking at me, I can't really read the situation. She could've moved because I was creeping her out. I simply hold eye contact with her and then turn around to sit down. A couple of minutes later I notice her sitting opposite me on my right, which at this point confirms to me that she wants to be approached.

 

[corrector]

Thank you all guys for the answers.
About that receptionist, I really wasn't trying anything with her, I just was giving her my medic certificate (wich the gym requires) and thats it. That woman just got triggered because I just was speaking with her, and nothing else. So, I don't even like her, but she did this rejection stuff just because she is just a bit dump I think.

Since I ignore women, and I play the game of the selector, I make women compete each others to have my attention. So basically, each time I am in a social environment, women start to compete, make me see their asses, trying to cross my path while I walk, or more rarelly, they even try to speak with me. Many of them try to force me to look in their eyes.

So, since I do this from many years, I like I got this skill of being the guy who attract and select women. The fact is that is very easy to loose this image by just speaking with a dump girl who misunderstand my intention, and reject me just beacuse I have to give her the medic certificate. In that moment I played cool.

Since this point I am a good player, but once I have to approach, social environment are very risky.


But there is another thing I would say.

In this kind of social environments, people are manly always the same people. I was frequenting a bar near the university years ago. that bar was frequented by many guys, and we all became like a giant group where everybody knows everybody.

Since this tactic I used, and even because i am genuinely selective (I dislike stupid women and narcisistic ones too), I ended many times by having women telling me "I love you" or "I like you, you are the best".

What I want to say is: "in a social environment is way more risky, but is also easier to play game on the same women withou being direct". And when women see you almost everyday, and see me as a high value men, is very esay to get them like you a lot, without even say a word.

This is my experience of years doing this, and rarely went beyond this.

I remembered that when I was approaching women in this bar, without caring what people think, women were jealous, and my social status raised up, even if I wasn't successfull. In that period of my life I wasn't giving a **** of what people think.

But after, what happened? That basically all the men in that social environment gathered against me, trying to put me down in in any possible way. This is why today I resent approach women. Mainly because of men, and if all the men start to be aggressive towards me, it became a problem to stay in that gym.

I always had my own "way" to act and think, and this seems to be a trigger for many men.

What do you guys thinks about this?

Thanks all for your answers

How did the gym lady reject you if you did not ask her out or make any move? Are you just saying non verbal rejection? You did not get an IOI from her? You just said you went about your business.

What about racial dynamics? What is your race and the race of the lady?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Thank you all guys for the answers.
About that receptionist, I really wasn't trying anything with her, I just was giving her my medic certificate (wich the gym requires) and thats it. That woman just got triggered because I just was speaking with her, and nothing else. So, I don't even like her, but she did this rejection stuff just because she is just a bit dump I think.

Since I ignore women, and I play the game of the selector, I make women compete each others to have my attention. So basically, each time I am in a social environment, women start to compete, make me see their asses, trying to cross my path while I walk, or more rarelly, they even try to speak with me. Many of them try to force me to look in their eyes.

So, since I do this from many years, I like I got this skill of being the guy who attract and select women. The fact is that is very easy to loose this image by just speaking with a dump girl who misunderstand my intention, and reject me just beacuse I have to give her the medic certificate. In that moment I played cool.

Since this point I am a good player, but once I have to approach, social environment are very risky.


But there is another thing I would say.

In this kind of social environments, people are manly always the same people. I was frequenting a bar near the university years ago. that bar was frequented by many guys, and we all became like a giant group where everybody knows everybody.

Since this tactic I used, and even because i am genuinely selective (I dislike stupid women and narcisistic ones too), I ended many times by having women telling me "I love you" or "I like you, you are the best".

What I want to say is: "in a social environment is way more risky, but is also easier to play game on the same women withou being direct". And when women see you almost everyday, and see me as a high value men, is very esay to get them like you a lot, without even say a word.

This is my experience of years doing this, and rarely went beyond this.

I remembered that when I was approaching women in this bar, without caring what people think, women were jealous, and my social status raised up, even if I wasn't successfull. In that period of my life I wasn't giving a **** of what people think.

But after, what happened? That basically all the men in that social environment gathered against me, trying to put me down in in any possible way. This is why today I resent approach women. Mainly because of men, and if all the men start to be aggressive towards me, it became a problem to stay in that gym.

I always had my own "way" to act and think, and this seems to be a trigger for many men.

What do you guys thinks about this?

Thanks all for your answers

Not to beat on a dead horse, but hypothetically speaking, if the receptionist had been male, you probably wouldn’t have thought twice about his reaction. From my perspective, it seems you might have expected a specific response from her, possibly due to your body language or tone of voice. She might have also been overwhelmed by her workload. Regardless, it sounds like your 'womanizer' ego took a hit. However, if she paid so little attention to you, it won’t impact your reputation as a 'womanizer,' and this interaction won’t affect your future conquests, especially if your skills are as impressive as you claim they are.

And yes, men that are always skirt chasing are in great danger from husbands, boyfriends, and insecure males. They attack in hidden ways and see themselves as moralist prosecutors, but it basically stems from envy. One of the biggest attraction parameters are status, fame, and reputation, so it is best to suffer the attacks with dignity and keep on seducing.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

Not to beat on a dead horse, but hypothetically speaking, if the receptionist had been male, you probably wouldn’t have thought twice about his reaction. From my perspective, it seems you might have expected a specific response from her, possibly due to your body language or tone of voice. She might have also been overwhelmed by her workload. Regardless, it sounds like your 'womanizer' ego took a hit. However, if she paid so little attention to you, it won’t impact your reputation as a 'womanizer,' and this interaction won’t affect your future conquests, especially if your skills are as impressive as you claim they are.

And yes, men that are always skirt chasing are in great danger from husbands, boyfriends, and insecure males. They attack in hidden ways and see themselves as moralist prosecutors, but it basically stems from envy. One of the biggest attraction parameters are status, fame, and reputation, so it is best to suffer the attacks with dignity and keep on seducing.

My skills are not impressive, as I stated I am not so successfull and I end to get a lot of refuses.
About the girl, she basically just refused me with the body language, but today that same girl, was giving me a very nice smile looking me in the eyes. So, I think that was a **** test. In italy a lot of women just shake your head no, just to see if you are sensitive to the refuse. In fact, happened many times, that the same girl after shaking the head in a no, also aspected me to approach. I saw this dynamic many times.

Yes, as you say, many of these men are doing this hidden and covert attacks, trying to make insecure or to put me down. Envy you say? Probably, after I read the rational male, I see them as AFC, and they probably are, so I know I can walk with confidence.