Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
As we discussed in the previous LJBF thread, there are 2 possibilities with a LJBF rejection; either it is a sh!t test intended to determine a guy's value insofar as she is undecided as to whether to become intimate or not with him - or she is offering up the standard LJBF rejection as I detailed here:
LJBF Dynamics
In this instance I would say the likelihood of this situation being a sh!t test would be high. Pre-intimacy was already established (the French kissing) and the situation was further developed by her not him (her apartment, fixing drinks). If her intent was finding a platonic male friend for good conversation it was hardly implied by her behaviors.
In either case a man's default response should always be to excuse himself from the situation. The reason for this is because it serves his best interest whether she is testing him or is rejecting him. If he is confident enough in himself to walk away from the sexually tense environment she created, he proves himself as decisive enough to put himself above being 'played' like this. Ergo, he leaves her with the impression that he is the PRIZE, has contacts with better prospective women than disingenuous girls sucha as herself and is confident enough to take away his atentions from her and thus passes her sh!t test while placing the responsibility of a re-connection on her (where it should be anyway). If she has in fact had a change of heart (her perogative) and is using the LJBF as a means to reject him, he still benefits from all of the above and plants the 'seed of doubt' in her about her initial estimation of his acceptability for her intimacy. And even if she is truly not interested in the guy, he walks away on his feet and not his knees, playing friend with her and wasting still more time that could be far better spent with more productive prospects.
It is really one of the few win-win situations for a guy to make a wholesale withdrawl of his attentions when he is confronted with an LJBF. Women know all too well how an LJBF places social pressure on a guy to accept what basically amounts to an ultimatum of negative social proof and that's a hell of a sh!t test no matter what her real intent is. If the guy turns down her offer of friendship, he's the d!ickhed, not her. But the guy that can do what common sense and gut instinct points out to him will be the one to succeed, with her and himself.
Human being's natural inclination is to avoid confrontation. This is why we have trouble making direct eye conteact (see the Boot Camp articles), it is central to an animal's attack posture. Ever stare at a dog for any amount of time? Usually they will turn away from direct staring or attempt to come up to you in affectionate supplication because they instinctively know this is how confrontational behavior is intitiated. When you had staring contests as a kid or when prize fighters attempt to 'psych out' opponents by a continuous stare it is a preclusion to conflict and in some cases violence. It prompts a fight or flight response that our ancestors wisely evolved for us.
When a man makes an approach to intimacy with a woman this is becomes confrontation. If she is unsure of a man's sexual acceptability for her intimacy she must resort to psycho-social, learned behaviors to diffuse this confrontation. Preferably these techniques should be priorly reinforced and proven to diffuse just such a confrontation, thus the LJBF response is acted out through generations of women across many different cultures - quite simply it works more often than not. You can also apply this to women who not-so-nonchalantly weave into their conversation that they have a boyfriend in an effort to diffuse a potential suitor's interests. It's basically a proactive LJBF rejection.
It's the guy who is unwilling to accept these conventions that makes the most lasting impressions of confidence with women. It goes against what our common human heritage dictates for us - avoid conflict, don't make waves, be her friend, etc. By not accepting a LJBF you emphatically make known that you are good at confrontation, you have an understanding of her motives and you're confident enough in yourself to make it known. Not only does this impress her of potential for security provision it also implies good genes (attractants for both long term and short term breeding). The problem for most guys is enacting this and making it a default behavior when our biology would have us move away from conflict rather than engage an unacceptable social dynamic that is subtley damaging to his interests.
As a side note, I highly disagree with this poster though - the details of his first contact and the particulars of a date are vitally important to any valid assessment of his situation. For all we know he could've mentioned something inappropriate to the woman on the way back to her appartment that instantly killed her IL.
LJBF Dynamics
In this instance I would say the likelihood of this situation being a sh!t test would be high. Pre-intimacy was already established (the French kissing) and the situation was further developed by her not him (her apartment, fixing drinks). If her intent was finding a platonic male friend for good conversation it was hardly implied by her behaviors.
In either case a man's default response should always be to excuse himself from the situation. The reason for this is because it serves his best interest whether she is testing him or is rejecting him. If he is confident enough in himself to walk away from the sexually tense environment she created, he proves himself as decisive enough to put himself above being 'played' like this. Ergo, he leaves her with the impression that he is the PRIZE, has contacts with better prospective women than disingenuous girls sucha as herself and is confident enough to take away his atentions from her and thus passes her sh!t test while placing the responsibility of a re-connection on her (where it should be anyway). If she has in fact had a change of heart (her perogative) and is using the LJBF as a means to reject him, he still benefits from all of the above and plants the 'seed of doubt' in her about her initial estimation of his acceptability for her intimacy. And even if she is truly not interested in the guy, he walks away on his feet and not his knees, playing friend with her and wasting still more time that could be far better spent with more productive prospects.
It is really one of the few win-win situations for a guy to make a wholesale withdrawl of his attentions when he is confronted with an LJBF. Women know all too well how an LJBF places social pressure on a guy to accept what basically amounts to an ultimatum of negative social proof and that's a hell of a sh!t test no matter what her real intent is. If the guy turns down her offer of friendship, he's the d!ickhed, not her. But the guy that can do what common sense and gut instinct points out to him will be the one to succeed, with her and himself.
Human being's natural inclination is to avoid confrontation. This is why we have trouble making direct eye conteact (see the Boot Camp articles), it is central to an animal's attack posture. Ever stare at a dog for any amount of time? Usually they will turn away from direct staring or attempt to come up to you in affectionate supplication because they instinctively know this is how confrontational behavior is intitiated. When you had staring contests as a kid or when prize fighters attempt to 'psych out' opponents by a continuous stare it is a preclusion to conflict and in some cases violence. It prompts a fight or flight response that our ancestors wisely evolved for us.
When a man makes an approach to intimacy with a woman this is becomes confrontation. If she is unsure of a man's sexual acceptability for her intimacy she must resort to psycho-social, learned behaviors to diffuse this confrontation. Preferably these techniques should be priorly reinforced and proven to diffuse just such a confrontation, thus the LJBF response is acted out through generations of women across many different cultures - quite simply it works more often than not. You can also apply this to women who not-so-nonchalantly weave into their conversation that they have a boyfriend in an effort to diffuse a potential suitor's interests. It's basically a proactive LJBF rejection.
It's the guy who is unwilling to accept these conventions that makes the most lasting impressions of confidence with women. It goes against what our common human heritage dictates for us - avoid conflict, don't make waves, be her friend, etc. By not accepting a LJBF you emphatically make known that you are good at confrontation, you have an understanding of her motives and you're confident enough in yourself to make it known. Not only does this impress her of potential for security provision it also implies good genes (attractants for both long term and short term breeding). The problem for most guys is enacting this and making it a default behavior when our biology would have us move away from conflict rather than engage an unacceptable social dynamic that is subtley damaging to his interests.
As a side note, I highly disagree with this poster though - the details of his first contact and the particulars of a date are vitally important to any valid assessment of his situation. For all we know he could've mentioned something inappropriate to the woman on the way back to her appartment that instantly killed her IL.
