Hot n cold woman

[SoylentGreen]

Hey y'all! Quick question. I have read lots about sh!t tests and still have a problem dealing with this one girl I work with. This isn't directly related to picking up, but it still affects my overall "social value" around work.

There is this one girl who is a total b!tch to me. For NO reason. She constantly, constantly puts me down. She calls me names, jumps on ANYTHING I say incorrectly, points out EVERYTHING I do wrong. Tells me she thinks short guys look like "kids" etc.

The weird thing is that she turns it on and off. Actually, the way she acts is kind of like what the mystery method guys say about qualifying, then dis-qualifying. I feel like I'm being played. She'll be REAL nice one second, and two seconds later, she'll disrespect me again. She'll be a TOTAL ***** and five minutes later she'll offer to grab me a coffee.

Today, she initiated a conversation with me while we were working. She asked a question to which I had an elaborate reply. First of all we (people at my work) always talk to each other while working. We often have conversations while NOT looking at each other; such is the nature of my job.

As I was answering her question she cuts me off with:
"I'm not even listening to you, you know, I havent heard anything you said in the last minute or so, I'm TRYING to eat and I'm surfing the net"

I was so pissed. Here we have someone asking me a question and when I answer she says she isn't paying attention. Whats the deal? It made me so enraged....I blurted out something about "girls her age" and basically made myself look like an ass in front of my other co-workers.

So..heres the question:
When someone is blatantly ignoring you while you are talking and then TELLS you they aren't listening (with a snotty tone of voice), what is the appropriate response? Or how would YOU respond?

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Sounds like a snotty b!tch who likes to push your buttons. I'd ignore the cvnt entirely, but when you do interact with her, never let her make you angry. You think she's socially retarded but you tell no one, you make her deduce it from your actions.

 

[Warrior74]

snotty *****..but she probably likes you and doesn't want to. You probably make her feel insecure and outclassed. Her Ego won't let her grovel before you, she must destroy you! But wait, she kinda likes you, so she must be nice! But she feels weak being nice so she must destroy! lol. It's massive insecurity. Just steer clear.

 

[Jitterbug]

She's practically begging you to put her in her place for being a bad little girl.

However, since you're at work, you can report her behaviour to the supervisor / manager. That's what he/she is paid to do.

If the genders were reversed, your coworker would be bent over faster than she could say "ouch!" by the anti workplace harrassment crew.

 

[jophil28]

As I was answering her question she cuts me off with:
"I'm not even listening to you, you know, I havent heard anything you said in the last minute or so, I'm TRYING to eat and I'm surfing the net"

You ever see a cat playing with a mouse ? The cat is doing ( and enjoying ) 'cat power' tactics and every once in a while the cat will wallop the mouse just to see how loud the mouse squeals.
You are dat lil' mouse.

Here is a suggested response to her shootdown in the quote above -

You , " Surfing the net ha ? You know that we have a 'no porn' policy don't ya."

She snaps back with some smart a$$ reply.

Now you take the reins and divert her, " Oh my, that dress? I bet your grannie got a lot of wear out of that little number . It should be back in fashion in about another ten years."

and so on..

Drawing attention to a baitchy woman's appearance will send her into a downward spiral . All other topics will be immediately dropped and hopefully she will learn that messing with you results in her feeling bad about how she looks.

 

[Mr. Me]

"I'm TRYING to eat and I'm surfing the net""

"Wow, I'm so impressed by your resolve to multitask."

 

[Jitterbug]

Drawing attention to a baitchy woman's appearance will send her into a downward spiral . All other topics will be immediately dropped and hopefully she will learn that messing with you results in her feeling bad about how she looks.

Just make sure she isn't the type who'd run off to HR and file a complaint about you. Putting b!tches down is easy in general, but not so smooth at work.

 

[jophil28]

Just make sure she isn't the type who'd run off to HR and file a complaint about you. Putting b!tches down is easy in general, but not so smooth at work.

Life, and women, are never risk free. So what if she whines to HR?
Jeez, it sounds like you younger guys are convinced that you are going to come off second best so your solution is to run silent.

The OPs options are to -
Suck it up, or get in her face and put her in her place, or tease her like I suggested, or quit and find another job .

 

[Jitterbug]

Uncle jophil, I like taking risks and pissing off annoying gits (my fav movie is John Cleese's How To Irritate People ), but not when the reward is bugger all. Arguing with women in general is pointless and a big waste of time. Doing so at work, at the risk to your employment in this economic climate is just plain silly. Having said that, my workplace is one of those where HR has a huge axe and their team are full of feminazis so I avoid pissing them off whenever possible.

The OP is in the right atm. There's no point acting overly hostile to put himself in the wrong and give her the victimhood power. I wouldn't run silent if I were him. I'd tell the b!tch to cut that sh!t out, and if she fails to heed the warning, I'd let the manager deal with it by simply using a few magic words, some of those being "workplace harassment, bullying".

 

[Poonani Maker]

I wouldn't associate with fvcked up women like that. They'd get the axe from my world.

 

[decades]

give her as little "supply" as you possibly can.

 

[jophil28]

.. my workplace is one of those where HR has a huge axe and their team are full of feminazis so I avoid pissing them off whenever possible.

Nephew Jitter, your description of your workplace sounds horrible and it ain't no place for a man to be.. WTF are you doing in a work environment in which a woman or women (in HR) can nuke you. They will do so if or when a the situation arises if or when you speak the unspeakable. I have seen them turn on a guy like an angry viper.
I would never EVER work with women who have that amount of power and whose only claim to significance is that they hold a psych degree. Sheesh..NEVER.
IF you generate income, wealth, sales or revenue for your employer then YOU are the one with the power, not some baitch who strides the halls like a Deputy Principal on a mission,

As our old wise friend, LMS would say so eloquently about women in power," It isn't the natural order of things."

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You're dealing with a Coquette.

THE COQUETTE

The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction-while waiting, the victim is held in thrall. Coquettes are the grand masters of this game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration. They bait with the promise of reward-the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame by association, power-which, however, proves elusive; yet this only makes their targets pursue them the more. Coquettes seem totally self-sufficient: they do not need you, they seem to say, and their narcissism proves devilishly attractive. You want to conquer them but they hold the cards. The strategy of the Coquette is never to offer total satisfaction. Imitate the alternating heat and coolness of the Coquette and you will keep the seduced at your heels.

 

[SoylentGreen]

You're dealing with a Coquette.

THE COQUETTE

The ability to delay satisfaction is the ultimate art of seduction-while waiting, the victim is held in thrall. Coquettes are the grand masters of this game, orchestrating a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration. They bait with the promise of reward-the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame by association, power-which, however, proves elusive; yet this only makes their targets pursue them the more. Coquettes seem totally self-sufficient: they do not need you, they seem to say, and their narcissism proves devilishly attractive. You want to conquer them but they hold the cards. The strategy of the Coquette is never to offer total satisfaction. Imitate the alternating heat and coolness of the Coquette and you will keep the seduced at your heels.

This sums it up quite nicely...


All of the other posts were very helpful as well. You all just confirmed my inner thoughts. I will have to play it carefully because I am not ready to possibly lose my job yet and I don't want to lose my cool either, which would make me look 'beta'. I will just put her on "ignore" and maybe - once in awhile, when no managers are around - I'll throw her coquette-ness back at her, and see how SHE likes it.

I can dish it out as well as anyone else, its just that she tends to "bomb" me quickly and quietly and usually just out of the earshot of the manager. And then when/if I lose my cool, the managers only see ME acting out....but like I said I will just keep it cool for now.

 

[Phyzzle]

As I was answering her question she cuts me off with:
"I'm not even listening to you, you know, I havent heard anything you said in the last minute or so, I'm TRYING to eat and I'm surfing the net"
....
When someone is blatantly ignoring you while you are talking and then TELLS you they aren't listening (with a snotty tone of voice), what is the appropriate response? Or how would YOU respond?

You should respond, "Okay, so listen up this time, it's important: ", then begin to drone on and repeat everything you just said. That's what drives them crazy. Just play dumb, be all business, totally ignore the snotty tone and subtext. She will give up trying to get a rise out of you.