Hot Aussie who "only wants to be friends"...

[bigneil]

When I was 41 I dated a 19 year old beauty who had sex with me 15 minutes after we first met.

I did not try to date a 41 year old woman who had ignored me for 10 years. Jesus Christ.

 

[VladPatton]

When I was 41 I dated a 19 year old beauty who had sex with me 15 minutes after we first met.

I did not try to date a 41 year old woman who had ignored me for 10 years. Jesus Christ.

Many, many of them come back to a familiar guy. Whether it's because of a separation, divorce, or out of options. All of a sudden they realize you weren't so bad and you may be the one who will actually stay with her, unlike the others.

 

[bigneil]

Many, many of them come back to a familiar guy. Whether it's because of a separation, divorce, or out of options. All of a sudden they realize you weren't so bad and you may be the one who will actually stay with her, unlike the others.

Yes, the 19 year old (now 25) since got married, had a baby, and got divorced (which I was so disappointed to learn about). I wouldn't take her back, but I still love her.

 

[wifehunter]

Walk, waste of time.

I couldn't of said it better.

I takes guts to walk, beta/AFC/wussies will stick around to start a lost cause.

 

[dude99]

Many, many of them come back to a familiar guy. Whether it's because of a separation, divorce, or out of options. All of a sudden they realize you weren't so bad and you may be the one who will actually stay with her, unlike the others.

It's true. I'm 44. I dumped an ex when i was 19 years old and like clock work every 5 years she keeps checking in to see if i will take her back. My answer is always no.

 

[Glassguy]

I am going to go against the masses here. You can probably get a/some lay(s) out of her, if thats what YOU want.

Agree with her that you want to be friends too. Then go out "as friends". Tell her about the other women in your dating life like she was one of the guys. "Hey I smashed this great looking chick from bla bla", etc. Make comments on how good of a friend she is. Pretty soon her hamster will take over and she will be going "Why does he only want to be friends with me? Am I ugly? Doesn't he like me?" Many women want to be friends on THEIR terms, but not yours. Once she thinks its on your terms and not hers, she is going to try to change the terms by getting you to want her a gain. Exploit that behavior and get her back to her house and nail her. I have done this with success on multiple occasions, "fvcked" my "friend". Its a game with the womans emotions and its pretty effective.

I agree. It's a way to get out of the friend zone but takes a little time and patience. I have used this before. I was either nailing the chick on my terms shortly thereafter or she couldn't take me treating her like one of the boys and bounced.

One key point on the above post......chicks who are half interest won't be able to handle you putting them in the friend zone on your terms

 

[mikey2012]

Soooooo...

Around 10 years ago, I met a mega hot Blonde Aussie at a play we were both at.

We hit it off right away.

I played with her a bit, and specifically DID NOT ask/get her number. I actually left ahead of her, and chatted up outside with some other people I knew.

She ran out looking for me, and asked me for my number (I did not have to initiate...after-all...I am me...hahaha)..

A couple days later, I called her to hang out...

BUT...

Right away...she wanted to switch to "email only"..which was really odd.

When I asked straight into why...she said it was because she "only just wants to be friends". She furthered by telling me that talking on the phone, only leads guys on.

oh...

great...

Not really sure why I kept talking to her...probably because she was really smoking.

We hung out a few times, but no matter HOW WELL things felt like they "could" have progressed...it was always "no, I am only looking for friendship".

I pretty much dropped it after that.

She was back and forth between Australia and the USA...but EVERY time she came back into town...she wanted to meet and hang.

Alright..whatever.

After a few months...of "casually hanging out"...with her NEVER wanting me to call her or chat on the phone (think I tossed her # anyway by that point)..it just became silly.

Again...she reiterated that she is "only looking for friendship".

After that, I did not bother with her...

6 years pass...never really cared much after...but then 4 weeks ago...she sends me a Facebook Friend request. We start chatting over messenger...

She tells me she moved in town permanently.

She was living in Hawaii...had a long term BF...he was a drug addict...abusive...moved back to LA.

Wants to reconnect.

I was flirting with her quite a bit, and she was flirting back...but again...this is EXACTLY how we were before.

We decide we should get together and meet/chat/catch-up.

Right after the convo ended...I thought to myself..."what am I doing with time?"

This is a girl who:

a) won't chat on the phone
b) has told me numerous times, she is only interested in friendship
c) has guys all over her.


We are both 41 now...and sure...it's cool to hang out with a hot Aussie...but for what?

I find that there always seems to be 2 points of view when it comes to similar situations:

1) keep the friendship...use her as a pivot to one of her friends (though I have NEVER met any of them)... keep HER in the friendzone.

or

2) stop wasting my time.


After reflecting on how the "relationship" has been...I really cannot see ANYTHING going beyond what already has been...and I really do not care as much as I did 10 years ago.

I am correct in completely walking away on this one?

Naturals would have no trouble escaping the friend zone . For you - just walk away.

 

[harrison9876]

mmmmm...I think I should clarify something.

I knew her "off and on" for 10 years.

We are in no way "good buddies" or anything like that.

When she was in town (back and forth between Aussie-land and here), she would always want to "hang"...

It actually got quite silly after a while...so I tossed her number and never called/messaged her again. Also dropped her from FB as I could not be bothered.

Last time I spoke with her was 4 years ago.

She "Friended" me on FB a couple months back...told me she has moved back into town permanently...and wants to "catch-up"

C&F is never a problem of mine...but she has ALWAYS been very guarded...and does not drink. So getting her to loosen up is a nightmare.

"Technically" I have plans with her tonight...but I am actually thinking of bailing.

Main reason - I really don't care.

She also does not have a car, and she lives at LEAST an hour away.

Though I have purposefully and successfully placed women into the "friendzone" in order to flip the situation (as suggested above)...I feel like I can find better things to do with my time...

Know what I mean?

 

[FitRick]

She controlled the frame from the get go.........the frame grab was insisting to switch to email because talking on
the phone only leads men on.........you accepted her frame and agreed to be friend zoned.......

....you hung out for a few months.......because she was "smoking hot"? But you weren't fvcking her or gaining any benefit from
"hanging out" with her. So after a few months it became silly........nah it was silly from the get go to entertain her and be her girlfriend....sounds like you were mesmerized by her "smoking hotness"......

So ten years ago she was "smoking hot" and she's been riding the c0ck carousal no doubt.......fvcking a skanky drug addict etc.....now ten years later she is reconnecting with you. Could it be that her smoking hotness is fading and she wants to reconnect with that old beta friend who could make a nice provider right now? Now that her smv is fading.......

shes far past "the wall" she's looking for the "sure thing" that she can or thinks she can still get

 

[harrison9876]

Alright...

Quick update.

Bailed on the fist meeting.

She emailed me over FB next day...C&F from my end...flirting back and forth.

Went out with her a few days later.

When we met, she immediately hugged me...but she held it way too long. I actually pulled away after a "normal" time frame, but she kept on holding me longer - which was weird. But then again...I AM a rock hard piece of man candy after-all...hahaha.

Had a good time...but I felt nada from her end...felt very "plutonic" - which is pretty much what I had expected.

Hung out with her until around 12:30am...and just feeling like I was wasting my time with this girl (which I already knew)...left it at that.

When I got home, I found there was a FB and email message from her. nothing crazy. Just her saying she had a good time and was happy we reconnected and caught up.

Even though I KNEW I was wasting my time going in...still felt a bit dumb...but whatever.

A week later, she is again a bit flirty with me over FB message...so I respond C&F. I went with it...whatever.

Figured I would try to attempt the "let's just be friends" thing noted above...which I HAVE done before to a HB9 Ford Model I was banging a few years back - and YES it works extremely well.

This situation felt different though...and was pretty sure it was not going to work on this girl.

I called her up early today, and asked if she wanted to hang out tonight - Told her I'd come by just after 7:00pm sometime, we'd chill, hang, grab something to eat, etc.

She was totally excited and down for it...was totally looking forward to it...

1 hour later...she changes her mind and bails on me in a text msg.

hahahaha...

Supposedly she has a "tenant meeting" in her apt. complex that she needs to go to. Said, "but hey...next time you are in the Pasadena area, let me know, and we can catch up".

ummmmm...yeah...I'll get RIGHT on that...

Did not respond...deleted her #...deleted her from FB.

hahaha...

oh well...

I am sure she will "eventually" call/text me...or catch on that I deleted her from FB...

Have no real interest in speaking with this girl again (pointless)...so will deal with that, if/when it happens.

onward and upward.

 

[FwoGiZ]

Even just reading this was a waste of time...
I can't believe this went on so long.
So moral of the story, **** em asap or don't at all.

 

[logicallefty]

Alright...


Supposedly she has a "tenant meeting" in her apt. complex that she needs to go to. Said, "but hey...next time you are in the Pasadena area, let me know, and we can catch up".
.

She may have had an interest level of 9.2 out of 10 for you, but that one other guy who she has a 9.3 for out of 10 probably became available and trumped your spot; thus the "tenant meeting" thing was a complete line of bull. That would be my guess. You did the right thing by moving on though. The he|| with her. NNEXT..