Hot and Cold, Hot and Cold, Drive them Wild!

[Starriol]

Yeah, push pull as explained by Mystery on "venusian arts".
Read that.

It basically means making one step forward and two steps back, as he puts it.

What is this? A GREAT example, right of the book was Mystery dragging a girl closer to him, them while running a finger down her chick tenderly saying "This couldn't work out" and then literally pushing her away or making a back turn or some other IOD (indicator of disinterest)

 

[The_Unit]

When do u stop using the hot/cold approach? My friends think this girl has fallen for me, yet i'm not sure since i'm not good at reading signals. I'm stumped.

 

[GaryUranga]

I came across this while doing some reading. It summarizes so much about AFC's and challenge. I was thoroughly impressed.

"People are inherently perverse. An easy conquest has a lower value than a difficult one; we are only really excited by what is denied us, by what we cannot posses in full. Your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction. Most people miscalculate and surrender too soon, worried that the other person will lose interest, or that giving the other what he or she wants will grant the giver a kind of power. The truth is the opposite: once you satisfy someone, you no longer have the initiave, and you open yourself to the possibility that he or she will lose interest at the slightest whim. Remember: vanity is critical to love. Make you targets afraid that you may be withdrawing, that you may not be interested, and you arouse their innate insecurity, their fear that as you have gotten to know them they have become less exciting to you. These insecurities are devastating. Then, once you have made them uncertain of you and of themselves, reignite their hope, making them feel desired again. Hot and cold, hot and cold-such coquetry is perversely pleasurable, heightening interest and keeping the initiative on your side. Never be put off by your target's anger; it is a sure sign of enslavement."

(The Art of Seduction, by Robert Green, Page 71)

Another thing that struck me is that most of us DJ's wouldn't put up with too much of this from a girl. Use this tactic to your advantage, and watch out for it from your targets!

AMEN!

 

[Hitman10000]

I do this all the time.

 

[Babnik]

I understand this, but why does it never work for me...

If I act disinterested - she just leaves and finds another boy.

If I act interested - she shows interest back.

I can call up a girl and try to get her hot and then when I go cold, she goes "OK, bye" and then call next time and get her hot and invite over and she says "OK"


I have been banging my head against this desk for months because I can't find a way to apply push and pull. Is this so that she is attracted? More attracted? She already wants you, should it be used?

It just don't happen this way.... it happens on bigger interval where I disappear but DURING the date I just screen them and hang out, just talk about nothing really.... There is no serious interest there. It only shows once we get in bed...

 

[Ripper]

I understand this, but why does it never work for me...

If I act disinterested - she just leaves and finds another boy.

If I act interested - she shows interest back.

I can call up a girl and try to get her hot and then when I go cold, she goes "OK, bye" and then call next time and get her hot and invite over and she says "OK"


I have been banging my head against this desk for months because I can't find a way to apply push and pull. Is this so that she is attracted? More attracted? She already wants you, should it be used?

It just don't happen this way.... it happens on bigger interval where I disappear but DURING the date I just screen them and hang out, just talk about nothing really.... There is no serious interest there. It only shows once we get in bed...

Listen carefully. I'll try to explain v.briefly the concept behind push-pull (as understood by Greene) with a series of questions. Hopefully you will get something out of it that will help you...

Why do we 'push-pull'?
Because it creates uncertainty in the other person. The girl is wondering whether you like her or not. When people talk about being a challenge, this is partially what they're referring to.

Why is uncertainty an emotion that we want to invoke in girls/people?
Because, as humans, we are innately curious. We are fascinated by paradoxes and such like - things that don't make sense. Things that have us constantly wondering fall into this category. It is essentially the same emotion writers of TV soaps aim to invoke in their audiences. They call it UT - Unresolved Tension. Thus your 'target' is a slave to you in the same way that someone who watches is a soap is to the program. Essentially you aim for the same UST (S = Sexual) that the writers often give to the male and female protagonists. So, in fact you can see, UT actually works on two levels -

1) As a relationship between the characters in the story
2) As a bond between the audience and the program.

What must you never be when seducing?
Boring.

Greene's seduction theory is basically predicated on our innate desire to do the wrong thing (a la Adam and Eve).

 

[6-heads lewis]

this is all to complex and childish. its easier to just go tbrazil and buy a wife.

i know a guy who basically bought a hot chick from portugal. now she works in his cleaning business, he satisfies her basic living necessities and egts to fuk her whenever he wants. hes slimy n fat, shes FINE.

 

[PeterNorthisawesome]

If this was true how does marriage work? Basically the man has to confess his love on his knees and gives a diamond that symbolizes his eternal love for that one girl... how would you make it so it stays interesting?