Hopeless?

[alwayslead8821]

I can't feel comfortable around people.. All I want is to be my fvcking self around people its depressing. Has anyone else had this problem? Is there anything that I can do to get over this Sh!t? It is so frustrating... The girl of my dreams likes the real me but for some fvcking reason it is so hard to be myself. I don't know what it is. Sometimes it just seems like I can't even think! Every time I turn into this awkward shy guy that is probably to nice and it makes me sick.. It's even to the point were the girl said she doesn't think I am her type but she did say when I'm myself she likes me a lot. So what the hell do i do!?:cuss: I do have the feeling of being hopeless and I'm sure that is not helping

 

[Wasabi_Master]

you just have to not give a sh!t about how people think of you. You need to develop confidence otherwise people will walk all over u.

how old are you?

 

[alwayslead8821]

21, and yes this is slightly a drunkin rant but it has been pissing me off! I do all I can to be confident, I read this stuff all the time I just cant pull it off

 

[Wasabi_Master]

Yeah i used to be like you too, shy and nice... actually i kinda am too now but got my confidence, nice when i want to be and to who, I got this through some health issues i experiences a few years back that made me realize that im her on earth by myself, so I started doing what i wanted to do that made me feel good (joined the gym, cut down on drinking, started going out more, stopped playing video games, educated myself more ...did better in college)...

I think you just need to realize that your here by yourself, and in the end you will go by yourself (sorry for making it sound depressing but its true).

I read a bunch of books found on this website and if they taught me anything is that be in control of your own life and everything else will follow, trust me... girls (that hottie you r talking about ) will pick up on that (your control of your life, your goals and your drive) and they will love you for it,

if your fake or if you act fake, who knows you might get laid but they will see through you and your will be back where you started!

-Read some books on this website, I mean READDD!! not just skim through, understand them , they will change you.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Here's your solution:
Make small talk with people you run into throughout the day, and CARE about them. Get your mind off yourself and take a deep, genuine interest in whomever you engage.

You WILL find yourself becoming much more socially adept and confident if you follow my advice. The key is caring about the other person.

 

[ENIGMA16]

The absolute best solution to your problem is to get out and small talk with people. Your shy persona is your defense mechanism because you feel subconsciously that if you're yourself and you open up that you are vulnerable. The best way around this is to talk to as many people as possible so that you eventually realize it's not that big of a deal and that you don't need such a defense.

Everyone typically has some kind of defense mechanism like this; I used to be like you, but now I've been able to push it back to the point where I can talk and joke around with people and be myself but my new challenge is initiating kino with girls I don't know, because I'm not usually a touchy feely kind of guy. So I'm working on being more touchy feely with everyone I know so that I can get more comfortable at it.

But the more challenging situations you put yourself in the more you'll realize that you don't need to defend yourself with that anymore. Go out to the bars one night with your friends and set a goal of talking to 10 strangers that night. Do that 2-3 times a week for a few weeks (while of course engaging in conversation more in your everyday life) and come back and tell us how you're doing. I guarantee that you will make progress.

 

[alwayslead8821]

I'm starting the dj boot camp and I will be updating frequently for advice

 

[hnmw]

Number one thing: work on improving your self esteem.

 

[hnmw]

I know how you feel, been there before. It's tough, but I know you can pull through.

 

[Relations]

The quickest, easiest way to build up confidence is to fake it. Just act how you want to and pretend to be confident. The positive reactions from people will naturally boost your genuine confidence.