As a scientist, and with this singular opportunity, I decided to conduct an experiment once I started started figuring out game. I'm not sure there was a future with this ex-girlfriend, but she's always gotten in touch month after month, even when I was acting like a beta. I figured that if you always get based on what you've always done, what if you start to change things up? Call it a real New Years Resolution.
We briefly dated summer 2012, long enough for me to chase her away. Then again in early 2013. The sex was fantastic and she definitely had strong feelings for me. After she dumped me in early February, she eventually got engaged to another guy, but broke it off this past fall. She started contacting me again, but we went back and forth via text and thus she really never felt like she had to see me. She stood me up once and I told her not to call or text again. A month later, beginning of December, she got back in touch. My semester finals were approaching and I told her she'd have to wait. Yet I made mistakes and kept on texting her during finals. When they ended,I called her, and later that night she texted me telling that she didn't think it was worth pursuing. I got butthurt and told her she was "such a fool."
Here's where things get REALLY interesting.
Two days later I ran into her on the street while out for a night with friends. I set up a date for the day after Christmas, and she even texted me later that night telling me I looked good and that she was looking forward to it. I texted her in between running into her and the date and she ended up cancelling. She claimed that she was heading home to California (earlier than her original flight) and apologized. I decided that rather than to remain silent or do a takeaway like I've always done, I came up with something extremely high value that I was going to be doing the next day if we hadn't gone out and told her that it works out because I had that extremely high value thing come up anyway. She ate it up and told me she was bummed about the date and would contact me when she was back in town in January.
Here's the case study.
Last year, at New Years, I texted her at midnight. She responded immediately by text from her family's trip. I texted her again on January 4th and we went back and forth, me asking her questions. I repeated every few days. When she was back in town she scheduled a date. We went out, had fun, and ended up back at my place for sex. We only saw each other for a few weeks because I'm sure I overpursued but I can't remember the play-by-play. I know I double- and triple-texted a lot.
This year at New Years, I was silent. On January 7th, she texted saying she was thinking about me, hope I had a great New Years, and "to say hello." I reciprocated and told her to let me know when she was back in town. She couldn't wait and three days later she let me know her availability for this past weekend to catch up and have a drink (MLK Day weekend). I told her, "On Friday, grab a bottle of wine and head over to my place and we'll make dinner and catch up." She agreed. I was silent until Thursday, and I confirmed, and then later on that evening she asked me "Red or white wine?" I said, "Surprise me." She came over, we made dinner, caught up, had fun, and had sex. She left and texted "Thank you" and I responded "My pleasure" and she said Goodnight.
Two very different scripts to get me to the same place in roughly the same amount of time, when a month ago she said she didn't see anything worth pursuing. Of course this year was a whole lot less effort. As it is I don't think pursuing her at all would have worked this year because of all my beta moves. That's scientific proof that your material works.
Here's my question. I let Saturday pass without contact. Midday on Sunday, I texted "Hey! I want to see your sexy smile again. When are you free this week to get together?"
30 hours later, she finally responded. "Sorry for the delayed response. I believe I'm free on Thursday and Saturday."
I said, "No worries hon. Meet me at X time at X place on Thursday. Looking forward to it!"
A couple hours later, she says, "Would you please permit me to be a bit blunt with you?" I found this odd, because this is over text, and where else can people be more blunt than over text.
I say, "Of course, I want to hear everything you want to say. If something's bothering you, why don't we talk in person on Thursday. Or you're welcome to call me and tell me about it."
She waits until this morning to respond. "Yes we will talk in person, it's nothing too important. I did realize looking at my schedule I have plans Thursday I forgot about. I will text you asap when I know I am actually free"
I respond, "Thanks for letting me know! Well I'd love to see you when you're free, so yeah, check your schedule and get back to me. Have a great week!"
I'm comfortable walking and never looking back. I'm just trying to figure out whether she's testing my masculine core, she's butthurt because I didn't reach out the day after sex (even though she texted me on her way home on Friday and I thought that was a good place to cut it off after responding), or she's genuinely not interested in anything else. From this girl's pattern, if there were anything final she were going to say to me, she'd definitely say it to me rather than drop off the face of the earth and she has ALWAYS kept lines of communication open.
I also think that maybe now that I've reached out after the date she feels a little more self-assured like she can take her time to respond, and lean back, and knows more where she stands with me. How long does it typically take (hours, days, weeks???) for a woman to realize that if she doesn't reach out, she's never going to hear from me again? I will say that the longest we've gone without contact since I saw her in December to Friday when she came over is 9 days.
My own take is that this is different from her past experience with me because last year I was responding to her posture and now she's forced to respond to mine, and she doesn't like it at all. I'm centered, non-reactive, and willing to walk away, and she's just testing me with nonsensical drama. But I'd love some advice.
We briefly dated summer 2012, long enough for me to chase her away. Then again in early 2013. The sex was fantastic and she definitely had strong feelings for me. After she dumped me in early February, she eventually got engaged to another guy, but broke it off this past fall. She started contacting me again, but we went back and forth via text and thus she really never felt like she had to see me. She stood me up once and I told her not to call or text again. A month later, beginning of December, she got back in touch. My semester finals were approaching and I told her she'd have to wait. Yet I made mistakes and kept on texting her during finals. When they ended,I called her, and later that night she texted me telling that she didn't think it was worth pursuing. I got butthurt and told her she was "such a fool."
Here's where things get REALLY interesting.
Two days later I ran into her on the street while out for a night with friends. I set up a date for the day after Christmas, and she even texted me later that night telling me I looked good and that she was looking forward to it. I texted her in between running into her and the date and she ended up cancelling. She claimed that she was heading home to California (earlier than her original flight) and apologized. I decided that rather than to remain silent or do a takeaway like I've always done, I came up with something extremely high value that I was going to be doing the next day if we hadn't gone out and told her that it works out because I had that extremely high value thing come up anyway. She ate it up and told me she was bummed about the date and would contact me when she was back in town in January.
Here's the case study.
Last year, at New Years, I texted her at midnight. She responded immediately by text from her family's trip. I texted her again on January 4th and we went back and forth, me asking her questions. I repeated every few days. When she was back in town she scheduled a date. We went out, had fun, and ended up back at my place for sex. We only saw each other for a few weeks because I'm sure I overpursued but I can't remember the play-by-play. I know I double- and triple-texted a lot.
This year at New Years, I was silent. On January 7th, she texted saying she was thinking about me, hope I had a great New Years, and "to say hello." I reciprocated and told her to let me know when she was back in town. She couldn't wait and three days later she let me know her availability for this past weekend to catch up and have a drink (MLK Day weekend). I told her, "On Friday, grab a bottle of wine and head over to my place and we'll make dinner and catch up." She agreed. I was silent until Thursday, and I confirmed, and then later on that evening she asked me "Red or white wine?" I said, "Surprise me." She came over, we made dinner, caught up, had fun, and had sex. She left and texted "Thank you" and I responded "My pleasure" and she said Goodnight.
Two very different scripts to get me to the same place in roughly the same amount of time, when a month ago she said she didn't see anything worth pursuing. Of course this year was a whole lot less effort. As it is I don't think pursuing her at all would have worked this year because of all my beta moves. That's scientific proof that your material works.
Here's my question. I let Saturday pass without contact. Midday on Sunday, I texted "Hey! I want to see your sexy smile again. When are you free this week to get together?"
30 hours later, she finally responded. "Sorry for the delayed response. I believe I'm free on Thursday and Saturday."
I said, "No worries hon. Meet me at X time at X place on Thursday. Looking forward to it!"
A couple hours later, she says, "Would you please permit me to be a bit blunt with you?" I found this odd, because this is over text, and where else can people be more blunt than over text.
I say, "Of course, I want to hear everything you want to say. If something's bothering you, why don't we talk in person on Thursday. Or you're welcome to call me and tell me about it."
She waits until this morning to respond. "Yes we will talk in person, it's nothing too important. I did realize looking at my schedule I have plans Thursday I forgot about. I will text you asap when I know I am actually free"
I respond, "Thanks for letting me know! Well I'd love to see you when you're free, so yeah, check your schedule and get back to me. Have a great week!"
I'm comfortable walking and never looking back. I'm just trying to figure out whether she's testing my masculine core, she's butthurt because I didn't reach out the day after sex (even though she texted me on her way home on Friday and I thought that was a good place to cut it off after responding), or she's genuinely not interested in anything else. From this girl's pattern, if there were anything final she were going to say to me, she'd definitely say it to me rather than drop off the face of the earth and she has ALWAYS kept lines of communication open.
I also think that maybe now that I've reached out after the date she feels a little more self-assured like she can take her time to respond, and lean back, and knows more where she stands with me. How long does it typically take (hours, days, weeks???) for a woman to realize that if she doesn't reach out, she's never going to hear from me again? I will say that the longest we've gone without contact since I saw her in December to Friday when she came over is 9 days.
My own take is that this is different from her past experience with me because last year I was responding to her posture and now she's forced to respond to mine, and she doesn't like it at all. I'm centered, non-reactive, and willing to walk away, and she's just testing me with nonsensical drama. But I'd love some advice.
