Hoa do i approach women when anxious

[will123]

I have just started a new job. When I first started going I was okay speaking to women saying hello, acknowledging them out of politeness.

However, when I was talking to the manager about leave, a noticed a woman staring at me. When I looked at her, she quickly looked away, pretending she was not looking.

After I came back from leave, I would be chasing after the manager to check my overtime hours, when I noticed this sake woman looking at me. When I looked at her, she HD eye contact with me for about 3 seconds, before I started chatting to the manager.

Recently, I was on my way in and she was on her way out and be bumped into each other. We both were trying to hold the door open for the other in an awkward way. Anyway, because I was wearing my own uniform, she stopped to initiate talk to say knew company clothes have been delivered and to get some. She then complimented my looks and said "well you really smart.".

Since then I feel anxious to speak to her. Any help would be good. I am trying to overcome my shyness and anxiety with women.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Run the anxious game and see where it takes you. Women don't care if a guy is nervous or not if she's attracted to you. Check if she is by testing the waters. She'll open up soon enough whether she likes you or not.

 

[Kotaix]

Physically speaking, excitement and anxiety are the same feeling. It's up to you which one you choose it to feel like.

This is the kind of woman that is worth pursuing. If she does actually like you, she'll say yes to any advance you make.

 

[will123]

Run the anxious game and see where it takes you. Women don't care if a guy is nervous or not if she's attracted to you. Check if she is by testing the waters. She'll open up soon enough whether she likes you or not.

How will I know if she is opening up?

I feel like she has given LOTS of IOIs. Catching her staring at me and then looking away as if she was not looking. Again noticing her staring, and when I look, she maintains eye contact for 3 seconds. When she started a conversation about my uniform and complimenting me saying I look really smart, I noticed she was 100% focused on me. Her body was facing me completely, head on. She had 90%+ eye contact, like she was uninterested on what was going on around us. And then yesterday I spoke to her about work-related matters and she turned her body 180 degrees in her chair to face me and continued facing me as I approached her, like waiting for me. In the conversation she asked me when my next day off is. Now I am wondering if the next day off is a ruse to see when I am available?

Are these what you mean by her opening up to me?

 

[HaleyBaron]

You sound like a guy in a romance chick flick, no offense. Don't think about it and just go for it. Pull her aside one day or find the right meeting, and just ask her what she thinks of you. All this overthinking isn't looking confident to her and soon she'll just think you're a child. I flirt with the women at my workplace, but I don't go for it cause I'm smart enough not to [as hot as it would be]. But that isn't for everyone.

 

[Plinco]

I have just started a new job. When I first started going I was okay speaking to women saying hello, acknowledging them out of politeness.

However, when I was talking to the manager about leave, a noticed a woman staring at me. When I looked at her, she quickly looked away, pretending she was not looking.

After I came back from leave, I would be chasing after the manager to check my overtime hours, when I noticed this sake woman looking at me. When I looked at her, she HD eye contact with me for about 3 seconds, before I started chatting to the manager.

Recently, I was on my way in and she was on her way out and be bumped into each other. We both were trying to hold the door open for the other in an awkward way. Anyway, because I was wearing my own uniform, she stopped to initiate talk to say knew company clothes have been delivered and to get some. She then complimented my looks and said "well you really smart.".

Since then I feel anxious to speak to her. Any help would be good. I am trying to overcome my shyness and anxiety with women.

I doubt she's attracted to you. Even if she was I would not recommend making any kind of moves unless you don't care about your job.

 

[jacktheripper]

OP, don't **** where you eat...

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I’ve done plenty of work romances. This is one of the few times I don’t go balls-2-the-wall. I make sure I’m either almost certain she’s interested. Or I have plausible deniability.

 

[will123]

OP - keep your work and your d1ck separate. Trust me bro. Women are there, in and around your job, to test your d1ck and hold you back. That’s all it is. Be a grey man at work.

Do daygame/nightgame cold approach to meet women. It’s the best way.

Cold approach? Even if not giving signs of interest? Don't you read them first?

 

[Plinco]

Cold approach? Even if not giving signs of interest? Don't you read them first?

Signs of interests or not, work places are just terrible for picking up women. Or like I said, unless you really don't care about your job then go for it

 

[HaleyBaron]

If you do go for a work girl, make sure to keep business 100% outside the office. If she tries to do anything or talk that stuff at work, make her know on the spot to keep it outside of work. No flirting or other innuendos.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Assess your work culture. Fortunetly mine is very open to employee dating. We’ve had quite a few marriages at my Organization.

 

[characternote]

Assess your work culture. Fortunetly mine is very open to employee dating. We’ve had quite a few marriages at my Organization.

I always assume it's just a US thing, personally.
I'm in the UK. The girl i've been sleeping with I met at work


My brother has been with 2 girls from his work.

About 90% of my friends are either engaged too or in serious relationships with work colleague.

I guess it's just a culture thing, but it's literally how everyone hooks up in England. So I always laugh at the 'don't $hit where you eat' / company policy blabla posts.

But yeah, if you live in a country where this isn't allowed then obviously look elsewhere

 

[HaleyBaron]

I always assume it's just a US thing, personally.
I'm in the UK. The girl i've been sleeping with I met at work
View attachment 8250

My brother has been with 2 girls from his work.

About 90% of my friends are either engaged too or in serious relationships with work colleague.

I guess it's just a culture thing, but it's literally how everyone hooks up in England. So I always laugh at the 'don't $hit where you eat' / company policy blabla posts.

But yeah, if you live in a country where this isn't allowed then obviously look elsewhere

Damn you got her locked down hard.

 

[Plinco]

Damn you got her locked down hard.

It doesn't look like to me. From that I'd guess her interest level is about 5/10

 

[HaleyBaron]

It doesn't look like to me. From that I'd guess her interest level is about 5/10

It's the second text that revealed it to me. When a girl brags [or complains] about you having so much things to do and people to see, she is locked down emotionally and wants to be part of his entourage. That is what I meant by locked down. Not necessarily she's his slave.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

It's the second text that revealed it to me. When a girl brags [or complains] about you having so much things to do and people to see, she is locked down emotionally and wants to be part of his entourage. That is what I meant by locked down. Not necessarily she's his slave.

True. All my LTRs complained about me ‘working too much’.

 

[SW15]

OP - keep your work and your d1ck separate. Trust me bro. Women are there, in and around your job, to test your d1ck and hold you back. That’s all it is. Be a grey man at work.

Do daygame/nightgame cold approach to meet women. It’s the best way.

Anxiety is not good for game. Must be confident.

Most men work jobs where approaching while at work isn't recommended. Pre-pandemic, I did some approaches of women who worked in the same office building but different companies and got numbers/dates. It's possible to get dates doing that depending upon the office building. Office buildings closer to the central city and singles dense neighborhoods are best for doing this.

Non-bar venue and bar cold approaching is difficult. Doing some amount of event type approaches that are weaker social circle game might be in order. Alumni group approaching is super easy. I've heard of the occasional couple forming through a co-ed sports league, but more people fail with those than succeed.

 

[will123]

Where I work I am a temporary worker. I move from place to place where I am needed. So it isn't a big issue. Plus I don't think the companies cares as long as it doesn't cause issue at work

 

[SW15]

Where I work I am a temporary worker. I move from place to place where I am needed. So it isn't a big issue. Plus I don't think the companies cares as long as it doesn't cause issue at work

Temporary workers have a lot more freedom. I agree that it wouldn't be a big issue as a temp.