Hmmmm... 2 Recent Field Reports

[Ben Wallace]

2 Field Reports... same disappointing story


Day #1 of 2

So I'm out on a night with some of the guys at a cheap student spot... the standard within is poor but I scope one girl who does stand out easily HB8 and close in on her. I find the perfect opportunity at the bar to start a conversation with her by seeing she's trying to take a photo with her friends using her cameraphone... I seize the opportunity and offer to take the photo. I get my drink in at the bar and end up joining them on their chairs and set about this girl, doing the whole conversation routines. After a short while I head back to the guys to re-evaluate and have some jokes with them in the meantime.

I head back over to the girl after 30 mins or so and we dance and I bring in wingman to occupy the two other girls... I build up the Kino until it gets to the point that I've got to leave and isolate the girl by taking her to the lobby and kiss close her with a REALLY good response [LOL], and give her an I'm awful with faces why don't we take a photo so that when 2moro comes you know exactly who I am when your phone rings...

My intention now is to secure some time with this girl to progress beyond that kiss close so I keep it simple and drop her a txt to set up a day and a time... she bites, and we organise the venue, day and the time... a few days past and on the day itself she bails with an 'I'm ill' excuse, albeit a very genuine soundin one... I gauge her IL and give her the 'Makes things easier for me, I was in a bit of rush to make tonight' response, then put it to her why not rearrange for ___________ then alter the time and she's all for it... the days pass and I get a txt and we get a repeat of the before on her part but she asks how my time was in the capital, and that she'll txt me once she's better... so I tell her that I'd had a wicked time and just finished up working on production on this artist's new album...

And I never hear from the girl again..!

Day #2:

I'm at a Thursday night at a club and I'm in the members upstairs with some mates having some jokes and getting madly drunk... I go downstairs and check out what's happening and I notice a girl HB8 who I wouldn't mind getting into and I get a good eye contact... I head back upstairs to the bar to get a drink in and head back down, before the girl I'd just seen downstairs has pursued me upstairs and has initiated conversation with me...

She comes to me with an are you Alex? And how she thinks she's met me before in another club... so I tease the girl, explore the Alex thing and suss her out if she's just bluffing and using it as a general convo starter just to have a little fun with her... we keep on it, and a photographer walks by and wants to snap us, so that was great photo evidence for me to see what this girl was about the next day... I number close the girl and catch back up with the mates and let the name issue stew with her to ensure a positive response on the follow up

I drop her a txt early afternoon the following day and decide to alter the failed method of #1 above... this time instead of going straight in for the date I make a little small talk via txt to test the water and build some rapport before then droppin the lets grab a drink together... it took her a while to get back to me, she must have checked the photo over just to make sure all was good, lol, and when she got back to me we exchanged a few jokes about the photo and she was interested in if I'd had a good time etc and small bits of info were turned into short conversational pieces, all the while keeping the convo focussed on her...

Saturday I had a couple of phone issues so I was sloppy at getting back to the girl in the above, and dropped her a final txt at 7pm in response to a previous one she'd sent earlier, to set up the lets grab a drink Q nicely on the next txt I sent over to her, which would have probably been on the Sunday since I was about to head out for the night...

But a reply never came, lol... one bit of information I got from her was that she was back in the city for a night out later in the week so I stewed over two options... an early evening Saturday night txt got forgotten about in the events proceeding it because I've done as such myself, or the IL that existed had just vanished... so I let Sunday roll by and figure I'll txt her this evening with the 'how about we grab a drink later this week? You tell me some more about you and I'll even tell you a little bout me..' [having kept the name mystery going with a small amount of C&F]



Do I think I'll get a reply... we'll see, but if #2 follows #1 then I probably won't...

But hmmmmm, 2 FRs with quite similar disappointing outcomes... it'd be much appreciated if anyone could offer some insight as to what may have gone wrong in either of the above... I read these girls as having at least a decent [and High on #1] IL, and they do bother to reply initially when txts make the option of not doing so rather easy... it doesn't make sense why they'd run with a convo demonstrate IL, then flake... I don't even get a chance to get that drink and run some real game outside of the club to convert on these girls...

 

[BigMike]

I am concerned about your first contact procedure. TExt messaging is something I only use as a last resort when calling someone who I am already friendly with. I would NEVER use it for the first call. EVER. IMO it makes you look nervous or weak or something. Like you need time to think of things to say.

I suggest never doing anything that gives her the opportunity to think that you may be lacking confidence.

Texting instead of calling does that IMO

 

[Ben Wallace]

Good point. I never really thought of it as an issue... I'll go out and close these girls without much hesitation then I'll txt out of ease or convenience...

I think it's just a habit that's come about, but I'm not sure where it started.. possibly with an ex who was HUGE on textin [and ironically did turn out to be low in confidence]... stewing it over, I could kick myself because I can see where it's comin from, but that said I still think its poor to flake before the first date based on the choice of communication...


The alternative? I should phone I guess... but lets say I don't get through, am I to expect a call back or do I take command and give a second call say early evening or the next day?

EDIT: And what about those girls who you call, they miss the call and text you back later? Do you get involved in a txt convo or do you seize that moment to call them?