Hmm is this a shiit test?

[dcfball]

so i call up a girl who i've been casually talking to, fluff etc... pop the how about that game of golf(mini golf...) tonight, she tells me she cant bc she has this college age church group thing and doesnt have any money to go out(i ignored this.. didnt give her the "ill pay for you!" ****), just said oh so you want to take me out on a cheap date? shes goes what? and i ignore that and continue talking...anyways she says i should go with her blah blah its fun blah blah... ok i give her some c&f and tell her she has to come get me if im gonna go.. she agrees but made mention of the fact that i gotta drive from my apt to there since she is driving about 25 mins just to get to me. i say we will see and thats that.

anyways is this a **** test just to see if ill go with her anywhere? im really not into god at all but i know youth groups like this arent always about just that...

guess my Q was, is it my right decision to go with her? was her saying shes going there a **** test just to see if i wanna hang with her or what? i've been pretty cool the whole time ive known her and i think maybe i need to give a little slack

 

[dcfball]

hmm actually bro i dont think i ****ed up on any of those points. i usually have girls meet me at my place no problem ever. and besides my place is on the way there, she knows im very busy and last time i talked to her she said well give me a call when yah got time.. this was like 6 days ago and i made clear mention i had free time TODAY.

but the group thing... you're probably right, im gonna go and just have fun, not take things to seriously

she is a 7-8 but really down to earth and i think maybe this one i need to loosen a little slack up with

 

[DJ_Dork]

Originally posted by GigaloDJ
Hehe you really fvcked up in all areas there didn't you?

#1. Don't schedule the date in the same day you make the call.

#2. Don't go to any group thing. It should just be YOU and HER.

#3. Don't tell her to come pick you up. (especially if you live far!)

I don't think you'll ever see her naked at this point. Use this as a lesson and go pick up some new ones.

-GDJ

Disagree on #1 and partially #3. #1 - doesn't matter. If she's willing to hang out/date whatever on the day you call - it's cool.. just give at least 5-8 hours notice (same goes for friends.. hate it when a punkass friend calls me up at 6p and says to hang out at 8.. I usually tell em to fuk off) #3 - try "meet me at this place.." method. But I guess it's okay since you don't have a ride.. lol.

 

[Big Pappy]

...she tells me she cant bc she has this college age church group thing...

So, you're looking for tail at a bible study/retreat?
I don't think this chick is going to date you or anything until you conform to her beliefs. And then, she won't do anything until you're married.

Enjoy!

 

[dcfball]

i got a ride...just why should i drive? =D
also yeah that weirded my out when she started mentioning this bible thing, but i know this girl a little bit past a random number close and she isnt in the "wait till marriage" crowd.... anyways...

i went, she came by around 6...took her all of 1 minute to let me drive her car(2003 pt cruiser, not my type of car but still its nice). we walked past each other and i got a nice little flirty playful nudge in the ribs followed by a remark on my cologne, she was dressed sexy too... nice.

anyways ill skip all the bs... it was cool, all the people in the group making remarks like we're bf/gf which was odd, she never said against that which was cool. after her little study thing we went to mobile(only thing open) she bought me some food haha... and then we went to some dudes house from the group(totally shoulda taken the hints she didnt want to go bc neither did i really... more like peer pressure by the other people to go... a movie and cuddling at my house was in the stars if we didnt but eh...). we chilled for a bit and talked on the couch with some light kino before both of us realizing we were just to tired and should continute another day

anyways we get along great... i wish i woulda been able to spend alone time with her at some place other than at a church group where i could initiate more kino

anyways i'm going out of town tommorrow and saturday i work... prolly don't wanna call her then and sunday is the superbowl.... all her little buddies are trying to get me to come to church and then their superbowl party(YEAH FUKCING RIGHT) with her because we "make such a cute couple" ugh whatever

 

[dcfball]

i forgot i totally got kinda afc when pulling up to my place. instead of ending it there, i said something about "....unless you wanna come up and chill for a minute.. no awkward position intended(i gotta play the sex thing cool with this one)" and she goes "no no. you're tired"

i turned it on her about having to get up early but still... seems like all igot was a ncie long hug and short cheek kiss...GUESSING BECAUSE OF THAT REMARK

 

[dietzcoi]

I think you are making a mistake with the holy-roller type. Dated one myself in college, would up in church every Sunday. As an AFC, I went right along with it. Got some sex but paid a big price.

I do not think you want to go down this road. Not much difference between these nuts and the real nuts in a cult...

Dietzcoi

 

[strong like bull]

... i wish i woulda been able to spend alone time with her at some place other than at a church group where i could initiate more kino

imo this is a great indication that you must take more action. youre a man, right? act like one! real men dont ask permission, they take what they want!

raah!

if youd like to spend some alone time with her - which should your goal from the start - make it happen. CREATE A WAY! get her back to your place, to her place, hell, even a park bench in a nice neighborhood. anywhere isolated! anywhere that it can be just her and you.

especially with her religious background, its understandable for her to have... high resistance. she wont give it up easy. especially if its in close proximity to her friends - she wouldnt want to do anything "slutty" that her friends would find out about.
thats why youve got to get them isolated - you need to bypass all of that social conditioning she has, which suppresses her desires. get her to open up.

i forgot i totally got kinda afc when pulling up to my place. instead of ending it there, i said something about "....unless you wanna come up and chill for a minute.. no awkward position intended(i gotta play the sex thing cool with this one)" and she goes "no no. you're tired"

i turned it on her about having to get up early but still... seems like all igot was a ncie long hug and short cheek kiss...GUESSING BECAUSE OF THAT REMARK

just a tip - even though you word it to seem harmless, dont ask women what they want, so much as tell them what they need. rather than give the power to them, with "unless you wanna come up..." , say something like "why dont you come up to my place for a drink?"

tell you what, it doesnt even matter WHAT you tell her to come up for. if shes into christian stuff, say youve got some great christian stuff. if she digs a certain genre of movies, books, music, etc that you do... invite her up to check it out. thats the beauty of it - you tell her that, so she can tell herself "hey, im just going up to check out his music collection. im not a slut!" it reassures her. she feels safe. so she comes up, you give her a tour, keep things light, c&f. make a couple drinks, sit back and relax. let things mellow out. relaaaaaaaax. thats when the mood begins to set. the bedroom eyes, lower voice, all that sensual and sexual stuff comes into play.

hey, lets be honest - YOU know what shes there for. SHE knows what shes there for. but again, the social conditioning and not wanting to be a slut.. youve gotta make it easy for 'em. make it seem harmless; make it seem natural, comfortable and perrrrrrfectly ok for her to come back to your place.

just relax and take it one day at a time. lifes too short to stress over women, or sex.

good luck, have fun,
SLB.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Originally posted by DJ_Dork
Disagree on #1 and partially #3. #1 - doesn't matter. If she's willing to hang out/date whatever on the day you call - it's cool.. just give at least 5-8 hours notice (same goes for friends.. hate it when a punkass friend calls me up at 6p and says to hang out at 8.. I usually tell em to fuk off) #3 - try "meet me at this place.." method. But I guess it's okay since you don't have a ride.. lol.

You guys crack me up If it's the same day you call or not means nothing, time doesn't mean alot either aslong as you both have it.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by dcfball
i got a ride...just why should i drive? =D

Many reasons for that, actually. And they go deeper than you might imagine. I think GigaloDJ has an idea of why this is.

=D

You want to have and communicate that you have "ways and means" and that you can and will always handle yourself. Some guys think that "ways and means" implies that you coast off others, let them do the work (a pimp mentality, which I've never seen the appeal of..)

What it really means is that you handle yourself and handle your own business.

You get your own place (hard for college-age kids--but this requirement gets more true as you get older).

You get your own transportation.

You pay your own way and don't think anything of it.

I'm older, so I know whereof I speak. And women see this before guys clue into it, generally, which is one reason why they go for guys older than themselves.

Now -- you probably CAN and DO handle yourself, but you need to communicate that, too. And having her pick you up in this situation, this early, does anything but.

What's behind that? Just this: relying on others for your food, your housing, your transportation means you're always 2nd rate at best--that you're subservient and and dependent on others, and you're forced to become submissive, actually.

Women can smell this on a guy and will put up with it for a time. The quality ones put up with it for about 5 mins, the low quality ones will accept it longer and the damaged ones will carry the guy all the way.

You DON'T want to be this guy or to have women who accept this guy.

All that ^^^ is kinda wordy. Keep it simple and think of it this way:

A "boy" will rely on others (and most "guys" do this until their mid-20s) while a "man" will handle himself. And he shows this by getting his own place, his own transportation, handles his own business, can pay for himself, etc. Women look for this, recognize it and respond to it.

A guy can get away with being a "boy" for a time...but not forever.

The earlier the transition is made, the better.

So why should you drive?

Because you're the man and this is "your" date. With her. Next time -- you set the date, you pick her up, you drop her off. The date is "yours", so handle it. She expects this and is looking for it and is judging you on it. Show that you can handle this with ease--with so much ease, in fact, that you're not even paying attention to meeting her judgment you've got it so down--right? Otherwise LJBF her before she does it to you and handle it as a friendship. Then everything you've done to date is fine.

I picked up on this idea from A-D and recognized where I wasted so much time in the past: keep in mind, that if she doesn't allow this to happen (you setting the date, you picking her up, you dropping her off) that her IL is probably low or she's unwilling to let a romantic relationship develop with you -- recognize that if that's the case and LJBF her before she does it to you.

 

[dcfball]

hey thanks guys!! actually during the date her and some friends from this group were totally girly giggly. it was driving me nuts!!! i did find some things out about her! she is a little more promiscuous than the typical church girl and even asked me if i thought she was a slut or if my view of her had changed at one point. anyways.... i'll call her tuesday or something and set up a more traditional date.