Hitting a low on NC

[headFirst]

Hey guys.. need some support. I've been in NC Since June 25th.. I broke it the first time after 2 weeks and I really wish I never did but started it again june 25th.

I've been doing good for a while but now that I'm almost done with my summer intern in Cali, I'll be heading back home to the midwest in another 2 weeks. It's been on my mind off and on thinking about contacting her when I get back.. as I will be right around the 60 day mark of no contact. My birthday did just pass and she didn't say anything.. And I know I did a lot for her bday back in May..

A little background info: I was the one who initiated the NC by telling her I couldn't be her friend anymore because of the feelings.. and stopped answering her texts that night.. THen I wasn't sure if that was really the right thing, and of course I kicked the wasps nest talking to her again. She said she was sick of me coming in and out of her life when I wanted to and told me to leave her the Fvck alone. There was a little more to it than that but I'm just giving the gist. I did so much for this chick and she just set me off.. so I told her that'd be easy to do because she will prob end up pregnant or with an std because she apparently has multiple sex partners was in a sorority. She graduated this past December and still goes back apparently to the frat houses and who knows where else to get her casual sex in..

So anyway she comes back with the comment, that if she has an std then I do too, because she said when we were sleeping together she said she said we wern't exclusive and she meant it.

I did however tell her in the beginning that if she was sleeping with someone else to tell me and I wouldn't be sleeping with her anymore at the same time she's banging someone else (that's just disgusting to me).. She said, "fair enough." Apparently she forgot or the alcohol she drinks every weekend is getting to her. Instead of me reminding her What I told her in the beginning.. I just flipped and was driving on the Cali freeway so I didn't have much time to collect what i wanted to say and text. Instead I just called her a frat mattress and told her she really was a slut. I know I shouldn't of said that.. I also told her how if she loves her ex so much then something is not right with her, if she can easily do all that stuff.. (her ex committed suicide apparently after she broke up with him a year ago.)

Anyway.. I just have so much mixed feelings about it lately.. I was fine for a while but now that I know I will be home in a few weeks it's been on my mind a lot. A part of me wants to just say hello, but a part of me doesn't.. I just have this weird feeling inside of me telling me something is not right but I don't know if contacting her is the right thing.

I just think that sometimes I'm the one who was acting so AFC and caused all this when I could of just took the high road. But I didn't and it eats me up inside because I don't know if I'm the one who messed up and should be feeling sad.. or if she is.

This would probably make more sense if you read my originally thread. It's a long read, but it will give you an idea of everything that i went through.


Here was my originally thread if you care to read:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=195118

Any suggestion to stay strong?

 

[flashpoint]

a guy killed himself because of her and you asking yourself if you did something wrong? THAT seems messed up.

SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU. NEVER WILL. AND IS FOCCIN AROUND ANYWAYS.

not your fault. you cant change people by merely acting "alpha" or what. just do the right thing, leave her behind and make the next girl happy.

 

[bigneil]

I think girls secretly love it when guys commit suicide over them. They probably don't attend the funeral, and are getting laid during the wake.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Hey guys.. need some support. I've been in NC Since June 25th.. I broke it the first time after 2 weeks and I really wish I never did but started it again june 25th.

I've been doing good for a while but now that I'm almost done with my summer intern in Cali, I'll be heading back home to the midwest in another 2 weeks. It's been on my mind off and on thinking about contacting her when I get back.. as I will be right around the 60 day mark of no contact. My birthday did just pass and she didn't say anything.. And I know I did a lot for her bday back in May..

A little background info: I was the one who initiated the NC by telling her I couldn't be her friend anymore because of the feelings.. and stopped answering her texts that night.. THen I wasn't sure if that was really the right thing, and of course I kicked the wasps nest talking to her again. She said she was sick of me coming in and out of her life when I wanted to and told me to leave her the Fvck alone. There was a little more to it than that but I'm just giving the gist. I did so much for this chick and she just set me off.. so I told her that'd be easy to do because she will prob end up pregnant or with an std because she apparently has multiple sex partners was in a sorority. She graduated this past December and still goes back apparently to the frat houses and who knows where else to get her casual sex in..

So anyway she comes back with the comment, that if she has an std then I do too, because she said when we were sleeping together she said she said we wern't exclusive and she meant it.

I did however tell her in the beginning that if she was sleeping with someone else to tell me and I wouldn't be sleeping with her anymore at the same time she's banging someone else (that's just disgusting to me).. She said, "fair enough." Apparently she forgot or the alcohol she drinks every weekend is getting to her. Instead of me reminding her What I told her in the beginning.. I just flipped and was driving on the Cali freeway so I didn't have much time to collect what i wanted to say and text. Instead I just called her a frat mattress and told her she really was a slut. I know I shouldn't of said that.. I also told her how if she loves her ex so much then something is not right with her, if she can easily do all that stuff.. (her ex committed suicide apparently after she broke up with him a year ago.)

Anyway.. I just have so much mixed feelings about it lately.. I was fine for a while but now that I know I will be home in a few weeks it's been on my mind a lot. A part of me wants to just say hello, but a part of me doesn't.. I just have this weird feeling inside of me telling me something is not right but I don't know if contacting her is the right thing.

I just think that sometimes I'm the one who was acting so AFC and caused all this when I could of just took the high road. But I didn't and it eats me up inside because I don't know if I'm the one who messed up and should be feeling sad.. or if she is.

This would probably make more sense if you read my originally thread. It's a long read, but it will give you an idea of everything that i went through.


Here was my originally thread if you care to read:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=195118

Any suggestion to stay strong?

So her ex commited suicide over her. Are you planning on making the chick go two for two?

Your best bet is to euthanize the relationship with this chick period and give her a permanent time out.

If I heard some chicks ex committed suicide over her I wouldn't waste my time with her from jump.

Ex commits suicide over her.

Slore who gets drunk and banged every weekend by other dudes.

Sounds like someone to really pine over. You've invested while she get's drunkenly molested every weekend. Chalk up the L. Learn from the experience and move on with your life.

 

[headFirst]

Aww man guy, not this again!!!

I know lol, it's only been a month though. Trust me I'm trying to move on and forget. I was doing great for a while but now that I'm getting close to coming home (she only lives like 10 min away from me) and she went to the same school as I went to, and currently go to for my Masters. So I just feel like shes on my mind a lot more because there is a huge possibility of me running into her.

To everyone else:

I know and I agree with all of you guys. I just sometimes wonder if I went about it all the wrong way. We used to hang out almost everyday.. Idk I guess I will never know and I'm sure beyond my emotional thought process and thinking more logically it probably is more fault of hers than mine.

Also, I wanted to run this by you guys to see what your thoughts are. We have a mutual friend.. He was more closer to her than me and she recently introduced us a couple months ago. We got a long well and hung out a few times before I left for my intern. He knows me and her are not talking and he told me he told her that whatever happened is between me and her. And he didn't want to know.

But lately when I text him he's like stand offish or wont reply.. I have a feeling she got to him and told him only her side making herself look like the victim.

Should I ask him what's up.. I really didn't want to get into it with him about what happened between me and her. It's not worth it for her sake and mine. Maybe it will be different when I come back and we actually hang out or something again. I have a feeling he likes her though but I can tell he's too AFC to get with her.. Or make any moves, so she's long ago placed him in the friends only category.. and he's just in her little ***** category. He lives an hour away from us, and he drove to her to see a movie on his bday..

Anyway.. what also alarms me about this guy.. is about a month ago when me and "her" were having are dispute over text he texts me and says, "yoooo." This was the first time I had talked to "her" in a couple weeks.. and I haven't talked to him in almost a week maybe more. At that exact time he texts me saying that.. And I'm like yea?

He didn't respond.. Then I was just like, you are a cool guy but it's between me and her.. assuming that was why he was texting .. to support her or something. So he's like what? I was just texting to say heyy.. stuck in traffic and hadn't hit you up in a while..

So we shared a few more texts and that was it.. I found that very coincidental.. Idk what do you guys think I should do with him?

 

[Zippapants]

Forget the guy. If the guy tries to talk to you again, be cool with him, but if he's acting standoffish and not replying, he doesn't seem like that much of a friend in the first place.

And more importantly, drop the girl, man. She's too much. Just from reading both threads I can tell that she just isn't worth your time. I know it's hard to accept, but you CAN do better than her. You want someone who wants you, and this girl isn't the right one. She has her own issues, issues you can't solve, nor should you want to.

Go out, spin plates, and let this girl fade from your thoughts.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Sounds like maybe it was crazy-universe timing, he sends you a text same time you are arguing, you merge the two together in your mind because of your mental ruminations on this dude going after the chick you are one-itis crushing on.

You've got to let them both go. If he was a real friend something would have gelled more by now, you wrapping him back into this female with your neuronal-linkages only associate him with her more and more in your mind -- you have to let them both go.

Fvck her man. She treated you like sh1t. You told her she was a slvt--you were right--you asked her to TELL YOU if she was non-exclusive (disease spread, personal taste...you have RIGHT TO THIS) -- she lied, ignored your requests and banged other dudes AND you...

This woman is a SELFISH-CVNT.

You must LET HER GO.

Go masturbate the sperm out of yourself until you stop thinking about women all togehter and get this b1tch out of your head.

Or go find some other woman nearby to spend time with.

If you are in a university setting you are in a GOLDMINE of single women right now. This evil bish shouldn't be a concern. You'll be back at school and have more opportunities for all sorts of new women whom you have a chance at a FRESH history with--whom you have the OPPORTUNITY not to REPEAT past mistakes.

So she lives near you. Whatever. At most you'll see glimpses of her every ONCE IN AWHILE. And when you do say in your head, 'oh that's the bish who fukked my heart...cvm-guzzling *****' -- that might make you feel better even if its sinister and evil! It helps me! Maybe it's what you NEED TO TELL YOURSELF to burn her out of your brain.

Any minute or moment further that you hinge will be a waste of your own life and extra-credit for evil bishes.

Post here or PM ME every time you want to contact her...write ME what you would write her...ANYTHING to keep this woman away from your psyche...

PS -- if an Exboyfriend committed SUICIDE this should be like an entire CHORUS AND PARADE of RED FLAGS to you...

Look how torn up you are now.

You want her to suck another man's soul?

Check your self-esteem son!!!!! You deserve better!!!!!!

 

[Renegade357]

Whoa dude, run and keep on running!! She needs to be NC for 100 years. After that you can talk to her.

 

[headFirst]

Thank you guys. Idk what id do without this site..

 

[Purefilth]

Stay on course buddy, no room for crazies in my life anymore, you should keep nc up, and look out for a decent girl.

 

[headFirst]

So here is a strange update..

So today I'm dropping off the sexy Colombian girl that spent the night with me last night off at her place..

pic : http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/428671_10150603452107034_1787680891_n.jpg

So I see some awesome mountains with clouds circumventing down them and I go out and take some pictures and upload them to facebook.. I open my facebook to see I was tagged in a picture from a mutual friend from that girl I'm in NC with.. This mutual friend is another girl. I open the pic and I see it's the "girl" I'm in NC with, and the other girl going in for a kiss on each cheek of the "guy" I was telling you guys about early..

So I'm like wtf.. I'm not even in the picture for one god da!n thing, two I've been doing my own thing minding my own business having fun out in california and they pull this ****.

So I text the guy, I'm like why am I tagged in a picture that I'm not even in with you in it...

Him: oh, that was "her" friend who tagged it.. I;m not sure she understands the situation lol..

me: I'm like no, "lol" I'm sure she understands it just fine.
me: That's fVcking immature.. but it's funny they did that.

him: it's just a tag. not a big deal

(me thinking, fvck you man, you know exactly what it is, and were probably laughing about it while they did it).

me: lol idc, i woke up with that sexy colombian chick in my bed this morning.. hopefully you woke up with both of them in yours.

him: nah i'm not into one night stands
(that's because he's too AFC to make any moves regardless if he was)

me: yea me either.. I've been seeing this girl for a while..

end of convo.



This frustrates me because I'm still trying to move on from this girl and now she pulls this..

I removed myself from the tag, and removed the other broad from my friends on fb.. won't give them the chance to do that again.

 

[Renegade357]

Woulda been better just to remove the tag a week or so later and then completely ignore. But at least you didn't contact her about it. Anyway keep rolling around with the colombian girl.

 

[headFirst]

Yea I wish I would of, but it's just frustrating.. Apparently you can't trust anyone anymore.. Not even guy friends.

 

[Trump]

I think girls secretly love it when guys commit suicide over them. They probably don't attend the funeral, and are getting laid during the wake.

Agree, happened to my brother. Wife killed him, got all his assets and money, over half a million, on top of it. Police believed her version of events because she was innocent victim.

To the OP, you sound unfocused and a bit of a drama queen.

Ive never understood no contact theory...if the girl is already not phoning, why would you tell her you have is go no contact. She already doesnt care about you, no need to remind her. If she is phoning or texting, answer politely. Just don't waste money or time meeting her face to face.

 

[headFirst]

Agree, happened to my brother. Wife killed him, got all his assets and money, over half a million, on top of it. Police believed her version of events because she was innocent victim.

To the OP, you sound unfocused and a bit of a drama queen.

Ive never understood no contact theory...if the girl is already not phoning, why would you tell her you have is go no contact. She already doesnt care about you, no need to remind her. If she is phoning or texting, answer politely. Just don't waste money or time meeting her face to face.

She was still contacting me.. What are you talking about?

 

[headFirst]

To the OP, you sound unfocused and a bit of a drama queen.

well i guess my emotions are just running wild
because i was doing fine.. but now that i know im coming home in the next 2 weeks.. shes been on my mind a lot more.. and kind of was depressing me
then i had a good night with the colombian girl..
and then i get a bomb dropped on me like this
and all sorts of questions and anger are running through my mind

 

[Renegade357]

and then i get a bomb dropped on me like this
and all sorts of questions and anger are running through my mind

It's not really a bomb. It's her trying to get attention and screw with your mind. The more you ignore it the stronger your position becomes. Either get over her now or get over her later. Your choice.

 

[headFirst]

Well i just wonder if my messages to the guy friend were in the wrong.. or if it was whatever at that point.

 

[bigneil]

@Trump. Sorry to hear about your brother. It puts a lot of the problems here in perspective.

@headFirst, I wouldn't contact any mutual friends about the girl. It's just another level of indirection. Another self-centered human to mess things up. He might even like her and be making fun of you for everything you say, putting it in whatever context suits his agenda.

 

[headFirst]

@Trump. Sorry to hear about your brother. It puts a lot of the problems here in perspective.

@headFirst, I wouldn't contact any mutual friends about the girl. It's just another level of indirection. Another self-centered human to mess things up. He might even like her and be making fun of you for everything you say, putting it in whatever context suits his agenda.

YEa that crossed my mind too.

@ Trump.. sorry as well to hear about your brother. That truly is horrible. I know we all know how bad it feels to hit rock bottom.. It's a shame what it can cause us to do.