Highs and lows are killing me.

[Floridaboy23]

I've been talking to a few girls lately but as it happens, 9 out of 10 always fizzle out in no time. Partly because I get bent out of shape too easily and part of it most likely due to either being too sexual or running out of things to talk about, becoming less spontaneous. I'm not good at staying in the mindset of "I'm an amusing, sexy motherf*****" for very long before I becoming boring or come on too strong. It's hard to even put it in words how I f*** things up. I pissed off one chick the other night because I was depressed about another, hotter chick who didn't seem as receptive as she had been. Another chick, just a little while ago, put me on hold after I offered up the idea of hanging out. All three of these chicks put me on hold at one point or another and forgot about me...only one of them called me back even though the chick earlier said she'd call me back only after I sent her a message on her profile. I'll probably just forget about all of them but it just seems like I'm being very unstudly and can't quite get back on track. My ego is way too fragile.

I'm thinking about calling the hot chick again but maybe I shouldn't since now I have doubt in my mind and don't know if I can be charming at all. I also get very bland and un-spontaneous. Are there any articles that list interesting things to talk about? I've been very good on the phone in the past and turned girls on but I can't ever just be totally confident for very long.

 

[Kings_royalty]

Partly because I get bent out of shape too easily

About what exactly?

to either being too sexual or running out of things to talk about,

Girls love $ex as much as guys, so there is no such thing as being to sexual unless you are being creppy about it.

'Listen' to a girl when she talks and you'll never run out of things to say. If
she talks about going to the mall yesterday, you can continue the conversation by saying 'which mall', 'which store in the mall', etc.

for very long before I becoming boring or come on too strong.

If you are coming on to strong, you need to relax and take a breath. Guys do this when they get 'over' excited.

pissed off one chick the other night because I was depressed about another, hotter chick who didn't seem as receptive as she had been.

Bad move, girls don't want to hear about your problems, they want up beat, fun, exciting type of conversation.

My ego is way too fragile.

You need to do something about this 'first'.

 

[pressure0354]

eh ill try a litte ditty

the above reply has some good points, continuing on with it......

i see a lot of the word "doubt" and a general frustration theme going on. I can understand frustration when trying to get girls to like you. I've had it many times when I would try too hard or just be clueless and worried.

I would go ahead and clear your head real quick, then call the girl you mentioned saying you might call. Just remember that the reality of it all is that it does not matter if any of these girls like you or not. Don't get bent out of shape because they don't immediatly call you back or don't make plans or etc.

I would say start doing some different stuff. Take a bike ride on a trail, go bowling with your friends, go camping, play a sport, do some fun stuff. That would not only help your self-esteem but give you lots of stuff to talk about. Another important thign is to - ask questions. I am currently interviewing for a real job and one of the most useful tools when not knowing what to talk about is to ask questions - then see if you can relate their answers to any of your experiences, if not, well ask more questions until you can.

Good luck brother - don't let chicks get to you and don't try so hard. Just think of all the practice you are getting in dealing with women once that right girl comes along.

 

[Floridaboy23]

met up with one of the girls I mentioned earlier

just got dropped back off at my house and now I'm wishing I'd never met up with her. I had been ****y talking to her online and on the phone so I figured she must like this sort of thing. It seemed alright at first and I had her laughing but then we came back to my house where my dad and little sister who always comes over on thursdays were about to arrive. I told her we should go out to a back trail, park and get out and talk some more. So she's driving and I tell her where to go and she's just being a complete rebel about the whole thing all of a sudden. Overall, it just seemed like I wasn't as charming or something after a while and she was more interested in listening to a mix cd as we drove around....she told me she liked to multi-task and I told her I did not and that my personality was better when I was distracted. At the end, I tried to kiss her anyway and of course I figured she wasn't going for it. I had incorporated kino and she wasn't resistant to that but it just went downhill in a pretty much unspoken way. It just kills my confidence to be in situations like that. After I tried to kiss her I just said,"yeah I can tell you probably don't like me so it's cool." Then she said,"yeah, you're a little too ****y."

I feel worn out and exhausted now and almost don't feel like talking to any girls. Maybe after I call the hot chick, depending on what happens, I'll just stop altogether. Situations like this leave me feeling flat and charmless....like I'm just not able to live up to my true potential even though the other person IS NOT ideal usually anyway. I'd still like to charm a girl out of her pants but it doesn't look like I have to worry about that happening. Once I get in person half the time I just feel like the conversations are one-sided and I get aimless and too ****y, if that's even what the real problem is. I had an im conversation with a woman last night who was married so I used her as practice....I thought was being pretty smooth and entertaining. I sent her a couple pics and she said they were nice. At the end though I was being a little bit ****y and trying to be funny....and she said something along the lines of,"you seem really full of yourself like you're up your ass and although amusing to listen to, honestly you're not much to look at so get a grip on yourself, Mike, or nobody else will want to." And the sad thing is it seems half true even though I feel like an attractive, likeable guy.

 

[Floridaboy23]

ps. the sad thing is the right girl (at least a Ms. RIGHT NOW) might have already came and went....but since I'm apparently so hit or miss, I blew it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You're expectations are way too high for the amount of experience that you have. Adjust them to you particular skill level and you'll begin to see your success stabilize.

 

[Floridaboy23]

I see your point...but personally I don't think this chick was better looking or too good for me. Granted I'm not the most experienced but I've already woo'd and bedded some pretty damn attractive older women. 5 of the 7 gals I've done it with were older than me and at least met my physical standards...one of the two younger ones was mildly attractive, the other one wasn't. I've met up with a lot of other younger ones and for some reason it rarely ever goes anywhere and peaks with us fooling around. So it kind of upsets me and quite frankly shocks me that I fail so miserably with the younger ones. I know my potential though....my ability to intrigue. But maybe I just upped my game because the older women appeared more unattainable at first. (?) weird ****, I know.

 

[Floridaboy23]

also, I kind seem to find articles that address specific conversation topics....I think I'm getting too narrow as that's what lust does so it's preventing me from spontaneity. I draw blanks when I'm talking sometimes and don't know what else to say that might lead the conversation. Think I've gotten too isolated lately and too used to online....where half the time I am pretty damn entertaining.