High Score Theory Questions - 1 Past Girl and 1 Present

[Reyaj]

Really looking for a response from Des on this but I'll make it public so perhaps others can add inputs or gain knowledge.

So I think this theory is fantastic and has a lot of merit! What I love about it is that it actually gets into the mechanics of attraction and choice of women which is what I'm truly interested in.

I may be getting married soon so I want to see if I am making a good decision but also just want to understand the dynamics of how women rank the men they've been with and the choices of who takes precedence so I really have more questions than anything.

So let's start with my ex-girlfriend who I was in a relationship for 5 years and engaged to. I met her when I was around 30 and she was 27. She had told me that prior to me she had only had sex with 2 other men (I mean intercourse as I believe she's blown several others though I never cared to ask). The man she lost her virginity too was her boyfriend and they were together a long time as well, probably a few years at the least. He wanted to marry her but she ended up breaking up with him. I don't know why she broke up with him... she mentioned he upset her somehow and she kicked him out of his house. She did slip one time and mention she was trying to get him back for the next year...

The 2nd guy she slept with was a co worker she had and was attracted to. He was a little older than her (even me) and she had gone out with him one night and got drunk and slept with him.

So then after dating a ton she met me and long story short we were in a relationship for years... Early on she told me that one of her good friend's husband was good friends with her ex and that she may run into him when she goes to see her. Now keep in mind they were very good friends, my ex girlfriend was the maid of honor in her wedding and she was very fond of her little baby girl. Well I told her that if we were in a relationship I would not like her going over there with the potential to be around him. She listened... She never went there again while we were dating and obviously her friend got upset and ended up removing her from Facebook. So this action obviously showed her dedication to me and our relationship..

There was one other hicup that came up... A few years into our relationship I one day saw that her ex boyfriend was all of a sudden one of her friends on Facebook. I confronted her about it and she said that he added her and she accepted and didn't think much of it. I let her know I was upset and she let me go on her facebook to remove and block him. Never had any issue about it at all, and just wanted to make sure I wasn't mad.

So based on all that is it fair to say I had a higher score than her ex boyfriend who she lost her virginity to? If not, do you think if her ex pursued her, she would have gone back with him? I really felt like she was invested me.. What I am trying to really see and understand is if you can come in higher then a previous lover or even the man a girl loses her virginity to... If you can elaborate on how you think these feelings of emotions and attraction work in a woman that would be awseome!

Ok the next girl is my current girlfriend.... She was 24 when we first started dating and will be 28 soon, so its been 4 years.... We have a great relationship... she is super into me and never has done anything to disrespect me. However as I've stated in other threads she was not a virgin and has had past sex partners. I never wanted to know or think about it so I never asked her how many she has been with. The one I know for certain is her ex boyfriend before we dated because I had asked her the last time she had sex when we started dating and she mentioned this guy. She said they were officially together for a short while and then it was kind of an on/off relationship over the next year. She didn't lose her virginity to this guy and I presume she's been with others before him.

This guy is interested in her and has tried to get her back at least once that I know of while we were dating. There was an incident before my girlfriend and I were official (we were seeing each other and having sex) that he was at a party of a mutual friend. My girlfriend told me before hand that he would be there and wanted me to come. So my girlfriend didn't seek him out at the party but the minute I left her side to use the bathroom there he was talking to her. She seemed friendly to him but I don't think did anything that was out of line. I came over to her while they were talking and she introduced him to me. We both kind of stood there and he started to get visibily annoyed. After a few awkward minutes he said I'm going to back to the other group and my girlfriend said ok and that was that...

Anyway I know my girlfriend really liked this guy prior to us being together... They are both going to be in a wedding together soon because of this mutual aquaintance.. Is it possible to have a higher score than the previous guy who had been with her before you were? How does the attraction, emotions and choice work here?

See I need to figure out if I should marry this girl.. and the only thing that really is bothering me is that she's not a virgin... Reading all this stuff about how virgins make the best candidates for marriage has really messed my head up guys. Despite my girl not being a virgin she really hasn't done anything negative that I can see being attributed to having sex with previous men before... Feel free to ask questions about her behavior though in case you think I'm missing something.

 

[Desdinova]

So based on all that is it fair to say I had a higher score than her ex boyfriend who she lost her virginity to? If not, do you think if her ex pursued her, she would have gone back with him? I really felt like she was invested me.. What I am trying to really see and understand is if you can come in higher then a previous lover or even the man a girl loses her virginity to... If you can elaborate on how you think these feelings of emotions and attraction work in a woman that would be awseome!

Each girl's high score list is going to be different. With some, there is clearly one guy sitting with a extremely high score, and every other guy has a significantly low score. However, women can have more than one man at the top with extremely high scores. That's how I would analyze your ex. She has two men at the top with extremely high scores; You and her ex-BF. In these cases, it can be a bit difficult to tell who is on top. If you invested more time and caused more emotional fluctuation, you would have likely come out as the winner as your score would increase. When there's two men competing for the top spot, the one who is no longer in her life isn't going to remain at the top because he's not causing her emotions to fluctuate in any way.

However, women sometimes enjoy keeping both of these men in their life. It's the ultimate in emotional fluctuation for her, because two high value men are competing for the top spot.

Anyway I know my girlfriend really liked this guy prior to us being together... They are both going to be in a wedding together soon because of this mutual aquaintance.. Is it possible to have a higher score than the previous guy who had been with her before you were? How does the attraction, emotions and choice work here?

It is very possible to have a higher score than a previous guy. You don't need to be the cherry-popper to be at the top. However, you still need to get in early. Here's the part that bothers me about your current GF:

She said they were officially together for a short while and then it was kind of an on/off relationship over the next year.

Being on and off with a woman causes a LOT of emotional fluctuation. He's caused both extreme positives and extreme negatives in her emotions. Unless you've put her through the emotional wringer yourself, he's likely in a higher spot than you.

See I need to figure out if I should marry this girl.. and the only thing that really is bothering me is that she's not a virgin... Reading all this stuff about how virgins make the best candidates for marriage has really messed my head up guys.

Yes, a virgin would be the best route to go. However, it's not entirely necessary to have a virgin if the guys before you were AFC pvssies. My GF thinks the world of me, but I was her 2nd lover. Her first lover posted love songs about her on Youtube and even got a picture of her face tattooed on his body. She ended up putting a restraining order on him because he was a desperate stalker.

Despite my girl not being a virgin she really hasn't done anything negative that I can see being attributed to having sex with previous men before...

My biggest question would be... What have you done to cause her a high amount of emotional fluctuation? I ask this because you're competing with a guy who's already done it to her.

 

[Smartone84]

I'm very curious about one part of this all that @Desdinova mentions. You claim that a guy can legitimately increase his high score/Score points by emotionally fluctuating a girls feelings, even with NEGATIVE fluctuation. So you're implying that having legitimate/deep disagreements or even semi big fights can be a GOOD thing?

 

[Reyaj]

Each girl's high score list is going to be different. With some, there is clearly one guy sitting with a extremely high score, and every other guy has a significantly low score. However, women can have more than one man at the top with extremely high scores. That's how I would analyze your ex. She has two men at the top with extremely high scores; You and her ex-BF. In these cases, it can be a bit difficult to tell who is on top. If you invested more time and caused more emotional fluctuation, you would have likely come out as the winner as your score would increase. When there's two men competing for the top spot, the one who is no longer in her life isn't going to remain at the top because he's not causing her emotions to fluctuate in any way.

However, women sometimes enjoy keeping both of these men in their life. It's the ultimate in emotional fluctuation for her, because two high value men are competing for the top spot.

This makes sense. I definitely invested more time, we were in a relationship together and she never saw him again while we were. I think she was bi polar so I'm sure she created her own flucations regardless of who she was with. I was always wondering if a girl would always be more inclined to go back with the man she lost her virginity too. I am glad to hear that the answer to that is no. As far as the importance of getting in early though... is it not possible for a man to come in later in the sex partners and get to the top of her list?

Being on and off with a woman causes a LOT of emotional fluctuation. He's caused both extreme positives and extreme negatives in her emotions. Unless you've put her through the emotional wringer yourself, he's likely in a higher spot than you.

Yes I thought the exact same thing when she told me... It was ironic because she was trying to tell me that thinking that I would feel better about it but I told her to shut up cause it's the opposite.

I don't know if I put her through the emotional ringer or not... I don't think I have purposely.. maybe earlier in our relationship. The thing is this girl told me she is afraid to lose me... She is almost certain that I was cheating on my ex with her when we first started hooking up (It is true but I never admitted it) and she often gets paranoid about me cheating (though she has never caught me). Does this classify as the emotional ringer? If so its more of what she is doing to herself than anything I purposely do. I think better understanding what it means to make a woman's emotions fluctuate is key and we all need more explanation on it. For example does this mean telling a girl you love her one day and then acting uninterested the next?

Yes, a virgin would be the best route to go. However, it's not entirely necessary to have a virgin if the guys before you were AFC pvssies. My GF thinks the world of me, but I was her 2nd lover. Her first lover posted love songs about her on Youtube and even got a picture of her face tattooed on his body. She ended up putting a restraining order on him because he was a desperate stalker.

It's also not entirely probable at this stage of our lives... From a practicality standpoint the best bet is finding a girl with a low partner count right? What this means is to find a conservative girl... and most of the ones that are even into their early 20's are most likely religious freaks... Is it worth dealing with the dogma? Isn't it normal for both men and women to have sex? Wouldn't a girl who has had sexual experiences perhaps understand things better than a virgin in regards to sex and relationships? Look at this milf I posted about in my other thread for example... She supposidely was only with her husband and now she's a nympho freak who wants to do me... She is 44 years old too..

My biggest question would be... What have you done to cause her a high amount of emotional fluctuation? I ask this because you're competing with a guy who's already done it to her.

See above... I don't think I purposely have done anything but she is always paranoid about me cheating.. Again would this fall under the emotional fluctuation that causes attraction or it is other things?

The one thing I can say is that I think I treated this girl better than any previous guy has... This includes taking her out, spending time with her family, and being there for her during times of need. Do any of these things count for anything?

 

[Desdinova]

So you're implying that having legitimate/deep disagreements or even semi big fights can be a GOOD thing?

Yes, but you can't keep her in negative emotion. You have to have positives as well.

As far as the importance of getting in early though... is it not possible for a man to come in later in the sex partners and get to the top of her list?

The problem is, women are drawn to men who will cause emotional fluctuation. Women will find them fairly quickly after they start dating. Women are much more vulnerable at the beginning of their dating career than they are later in it, mainly because they become jaded and emotionless from dating lots of men. It's not easy to penetrate a woman's emotions when she's numb and has her guard up. It's going to be an uphill battle for you, and it's likely not worth the effort, as she'll be surrounded with orbiters, have ex-bfs as friends, and will likely have some feminism indoctrinated into her.

She is almost certain that I was cheating on my ex with her when we first started hooking up (It is true but I never admitted it) and she often gets paranoid about me cheating (though she has never caught me). Does this classify as the emotional ringer? If so its more of what she is doing to herself than anything I purposely do.

Part of emotional fluctuation is what women put themselves through with their imaginations and fantasies. You just need to plant the seeds, and she will help them grow.

I think better understanding what it means to make a woman's emotions fluctuate is key and we all need more explanation on it. For example does this mean telling a girl you love her one day and then acting uninterested the next?

Yes, that's one of the things you can do. A lot of the tips on Sosuave cater to emotional fluctuation. Being late for a date, cancelling on her, making your dates short, being spontaneous, ****y/funny, push/pull, etc. All of that causes emotional fluctuation. Putting her through a negative emotion and then leading her into a positive one (or going the other way) is essentially what you're doing. You can also bounce her emotions back and forth. However, try to avoid an abundance of intense negatives. You don't want her to associate negative emotions with you. You're better off being "complicated", "sophisticated" or "mysterious".

From a practicality standpoint the best bet is finding a girl with a low partner count right?

Correct, but you also have to remember that it could possibly be the first or second guy who alpha-widows her.

What this means is to find a conservative girl... and most of the ones that are even into their early 20's are most likely religious freaks... Is it worth dealing with the dogma?

For a time I was honestly considering attending church to find a woman, even though I'm pretty much an atheist. Some religions are very intense while some are fairly passive when it comes to indoctrinating their members.

Wouldn't a girl who has had sexual experiences perhaps understand things better than a virgin in regards to sex and relationships?

It's your job to teach her those things. She will learn. All women learn from somewhere.

I don't think I purposely have done anything but she is always paranoid about me cheating.. Again would this fall under the emotional fluctuation that causes attraction or it is other things?

It could be either. Women who are jaded will accuse their men of cheating, so this isn't a very good indicator.

The one thing I can say is that I think I treated this girl better than any previous guy has... This includes taking her out, spending time with her family, and being there for her during times of need. Do any of these things count for anything?

Not really. Any guy can do that stuff. If you cause her emotional fluctuation on top of it, then it will mean something to her.

 

[Reyaj]

Yes, but you can't keep her in negative emotion. You have to have positives as well.

What's the key to finding the right balance of this? Are relationships with few fights and disagreements doomed?

The problem is, women are drawn to men who will cause emotional fluctuation. Women will find them fairly quickly after they start dating. Women are much more vulnerable at the beginning of their dating career than they are later in it, mainly because they become jaded and emotionless from dating lots of men. It's not easy to penetrate a woman's emotions when she's numb and has her guard up. It's going to be an uphill battle for you, and it's likely not worth the effort, as she'll be surrounded with orbiters, have ex-bfs as friends, and will likely have some feminism indoctrinated into her.

Would the emotional fluctuation be the 2nd phase of attraction? The first step is obviously the "pick up" where a girl decides whether to give you an opportunity to date. I think a lot of this attraction is based of looks.. however what your high score theory enlightened me on is that the "looks" of what attracts a woman usually comes from an impression made on them early in their life. This is a big reason why women have different types of guys they are attracted to. In most cases it seems you have to pass this criteria before you are given the opportunity. This really helped explained why I'd see women with all different looks of guys, often those which I wouldn't think would be considered generally attractive. It probably stretches further as to why women prefer thugs vs intellectuals, dark featured versus light featured and all etc... and vice versa.

But it is after this point of initial attraction where you can aim to cause emotional fluctuations. But yes for those women have been jaded I agree its most likely not worth the effort but if you did want to pursue it.. what would your best bet be to trigger these kind of emotions? This is the formula that might really be the secret of attraction and seduction...

Part of emotional fluctuation is what women put themselves through with their imaginations and fantasies. You just need to plant the seeds, and she will help them grow.

Amen.... This is what I've found with this milf I've posted about on the other thread.. I've barely said anything to get her attracted to me... but her own imagination has somehow made her infatuated... my strategy has really been to say less and hope I don't fvck it up which I've already come close to lol

Yes, that's one of the things you can do. A lot of the tips on Sosuave cater to emotional fluctuation. Being late for a date, cancelling on her, making your dates short, being spontaneous, ****y/funny, push/pull, etc. All of that causes emotional fluctuation. Putting her through a negative emotion and then leading her into a positive one (or going the other way) is essentially what you're doing. You can also bounce her emotions back and forth. However, try to avoid an abundance of intense negatives. You don't want her to associate negative emotions with you. You're better off being "complicated", "sophisticated" or "mysterious".

Does this stop once you are in a relationship with a woman? I mean I'll flat out ask you... do you still actively do this in your current relationship?

Correct, but you also have to remember that it could possibly be the first or second guy who alpha-widows her.

This means that one of these guys created an impression on her which she'll compare every future guy to and none will meet that standard, right? If a girl has been with multiple guys but they were chumps it still is possible to get to the high score right? Just less probable but possible, right?

For a time I was honestly considering attending church to find a woman, even though I'm pretty much an atheist. Some religions are very intense while some are fairly passive when it comes to indoctrinating their members.

I'd probably do the same should I become single again.. and most likely target a foreigner.

It could be either. Women who are jaded will accuse their men of cheating, so this isn't a very good indicator.

She did have at least one of her exes cheat on her, but I think its more of her believing I cheated on my ex with her and wondering if I'd do it again.

Not really. Any guy can do that stuff. If you cause her emotional fluctuation on top of it, then it will mean something to her.

Every guy can but not every guy does. I think I've done both so hopefully I have the high score. As of now I don't have any reason to believe I don't but there's a few more tests with her ex upcoming which i'll be paying close attention to.

 

[Desdinova]

What's the key to finding the right balance of this? Are relationships with few fights and disagreements doomed?

Not at all. Keep things fun, a bit on the immature side, be selfish sometimes, and don't worry about pissing her off once in a while. In fact, you might want to sometimes piss her off intentionally. This is how you avoid being "boring".

Would the emotional fluctuation be the 2nd phase of attraction? The first step is obviously the "pick up" where a girl decides whether to give you an opportunity to date.

Emotional fluctuation begins from the moment she notices you. Women will take notice of anything that gives them an emotional jolt. Personally, I believe that this is the FIRST phase of attraction. After that, you need to take advantage of the fact that she noticed you.

what your high score theory enlightened me on is that the "looks" of what attracts a woman usually comes from an impression made on them early in their life. This is a big reason why women have different types of guys they are attracted to. In most cases it seems you have to pass this criteria before you are given the opportunity. This really helped explained why I'd see women with all different looks of guys, often those which I wouldn't think would be considered generally attractive.

Exactly. Sometimes that initial emotional "jolt" will come from just the way a guy looks. Other times, it will come from what he's doing. This is why being surrounded by other women will work in the same manner as having the right looks.

But yes for those women have been jaded I agree its most likely not worth the effort but if you did want to pursue it.. what would your best bet be to trigger these kind of emotions? This is the formula that might really be the secret of attraction and seduction...

All the things taught on this site will help get you any kind of woman. Some things will work better on certain types of women, and by "types" I mean their personality and not their physical appearance. A HB4 can have the mindset of a HB9, and vice versa, so looks aren't exactly a good way to judge a woman's personality.

The bottom line to getting any woman to like you is confidence. That's it. You must be confident in everything you say to her, you must be confident in your manhood, confident that you're the best damn thing to happen to her, confident that you'll go find another woman if she fvcks things up, etc etc. It always boils down to confidence.

Does this stop once you are in a relationship with a woman? I mean I'll flat out ask you... do you still actively do this in your current relationship?

Yes I do. I've done it so much with other women that it's pretty much become part of my persona. I'll poke fun at things she does, I'll do things that I want to do even if she doesn't like it, and when she gets pissed off at me, I'll try to make her laugh. If she stays pissed off, I just leave her alone. If she's sad or upset, I'll move her into a more positive emotion. The problem with most men is they focus on trying to prevent a woman from getting mad or sad. You need to let her go into those emotions, and sometimes you need to let her stay in them for a while. If she's in a pissy mood and your one effort to fix it doesn't work, then tell her "Okay, have fun. I'm going to go do (selfish activity)" and then you leave her there. Sometimes just walking away from her is enough to get her to transition from her negative emotion.

This means that one of these guys created an impression on her which she'll compare every future guy to and none will meet that standard, right? If a girl has been with multiple guys but they were chumps it still is possible to get to the high score right? Just less probable but possible, right?

Correct, but remember that women aren't attracted to chumps, so the likeliness of her dating a plethora of them is pretty low. The only thing guys like us have working in our favour is that today's men are very much feminized. This may possibly lower a woman's standard when it comes to finding a confident man. In other words, her dating history may consist of semi-confident men... until you come along and show her what a truly confident man is.

I'd probably do the same should I become single again.. and most likely target a foreigner.

These are the things I was considering, and I ended up dating a Japanese woman. I personally found the cultural difference to be a bit too much for my liking. I may try dating a woman from a non-Asian country next time.

The religion thing requires time and effort, and it's something I didn't get around to. I think it might have been fun to try it though.

I think I've done both so hopefully I have the high score. As of now I don't have any reason to believe I don't but there's a few more tests with her ex upcoming which i'll be paying close attention to.

Figuring out where you sit on her list can either be easy, or difficult. There is no doubt in my mind I'm at the top of my GF's list. With some of the other women I've dated, I'm not so sure. I did my best to give them the deepest emotional imprint possible, but whether it was enough or not isn't exactly clear.

 

[AJ84]

If she's willing to marry you despite suspecting (rightfully) that you are cheating and despite having the option of the ex boyfriend then I would say you are high on her list.

The emotional fluctuations are likely in part due to her not trusting you, and she has good reason not to. This is not all in her head, as you stated, as obviously you actually are cheating so there's some vibe that you are giving off that is raising red flags with her.

But, like I said, she's willing to marry you anyway despite this, so there must be other things about you that she is placing above her mistrust.

I don't know honestly if that is a good foundation from which to build a marriage but people get married for lots of reasons, not all of which are the best ones and some of these marriages are successful. I think it comes down to what people are willing to put up with from each other.

 

[Reyaj]

Not at all. Keep things fun, a bit on the immature side, be selfish sometimes, and don't worry about pissing her off once in a while. In fact, you might want to sometimes piss her off intentionally. This is how you avoid being "boring".

Ok this is my personality in a nut shell lol I think I need to tone it down a bit though, sometimes I go too far. Glad my personality is congruent with causing emotional fluctuation in women though.

Emotional fluctuation begins from the moment she notices you. Women will take notice of anything that gives them an emotional jolt. Personally, I believe that this is the FIRST phase of attraction. After that, you need to take advantage of the fact that she noticed you.

A female doctor I went on a date once with told me that she knows within seconds or minutes of meeting a guy if there's chemistry... Does this really boil all around looks? If not what else could give them an emotional jolt upon first meeting you? It seems like a girl will see you and either be attracted or not.. However looks are subjective and what your HST thread taught me was that it's heavily influenced on attraction they experience early in life. I was talking to one of my Caucasian buddies who is a prototypical rocker... He mainly is only into other caucasian women and told me he isn't attracted to black or asian women. His little sister however only dates black men. He told me that when she was growing up most of her friends were black. Is this a good example of how early impressions influence attraction as an adult?

A HB4 can have the mindset of a HB9, and vice versa, so looks aren't exactly a good way to judge a woman's personality.

The bottom line to getting any woman to like you is confidence. That's it. You must be confident in everything you say to her, you must be confident in your manhood, confident that you're the best damn thing to happen to her, confident that you'll go find another woman if she fvcks things up, etc etc. It always boils down to confidence.

Absolutely and so true! I've had chicks that were average reject me, attractive girls hook up with me and vice versa! Confidence is important but I think the one fallacy people get taught is that if you're confident you can get everyone. What I found is this "Confidence may not always get you women but without confidence you can't get women"

Yes I do. I've done it so much with other women that it's pretty much become part of my persona. I'll poke fun at things she does, I'll do things that I want to do even if she doesn't like it, and when she gets pissed off at me, I'll try to make her laugh. If she stays pissed off, I just leave her alone. If she's sad or upset, I'll move her into a more positive emotion. The problem with most men is they focus on trying to prevent a woman from getting mad or sad. You need to let her go into those emotions, and sometimes you need to let her stay in them for a while. If she's in a pissy mood and your one effort to fix it doesn't work, then tell her "Okay, have fun. I'm going to go do (selfish activity)" and then you leave her there. Sometimes just walking away from her is enough to get her to transition from her negative emotion.

I'm the same way except that I think when she gets mad I try too hard to cheer her up. I think it might be good to leave her alone and walk away. I'll try this, but I think I have most of the others down.

Correct, but remember that women aren't attracted to chumps, so the likeliness of her dating a plethora of them is pretty low. The only thing guys like us have working in our favour is that today's men are very much feminized. This may possibly lower a woman's standard when it comes to finding a confident man. In other words, her dating history may consist of semi-confident men... until you come along and show her what a truly confident man is

Her ex was a cop so I don't think I have that advantage there. But from what I gather despite having an alpha job he didn't have a lot of experience with women.... But regardless the fact that I've been in a relationship with her for years should supercede it provided I'm her high score guy.

Curious but can women ever reason over their emotions? Let's say one of those attention wvhore cvck carousel chicks finally settles for some boring schmuck and gets the white house with the picket fence and some kids... Let's say one of her high score guys from the past comes around... Would she most likely cheat or not? I'll tell you from my experience with my ex... her sister was in this same scenario I described and ended up meeting the guy she described as being so in love with from her past. Her husband definitely didn't know how to have a reign on her though.. He may be partially to blame.

These are the things I was considering, and I ended up dating a Japanese woman. I personally found the cultural difference to be a bit too much for my liking. I may try dating a woman from a non-Asian country next time.

The religion thing requires time and effort, and it's something I didn't get around to. I think it might have been fun to try it though.

Really? I have this idea in my head that Asian women are subservient to men.. Was she just boring to be with?

If she's willing to marry you despite suspecting (rightfully) that you are cheating and despite having the option of the ex boyfriend then I would say you are high on her list.

The emotional fluctuations are likely in part due to her not trusting you, and she has good reason not to. This is not all in her head, as you stated, as obviously you actually are cheating so there's some vibe that you are giving off that is raising red flags with her.

But, like I said, she's willing to marry you anyway despite this, so there must be other things about you that she is placing above her mistrust.

I don't know honestly if that is a good foundation from which to build a marriage but people get married for lots of reasons, not all of which are the best ones and some of these marriages are successful. I think it comes down to what people are willing to put up with from each other.

I agree... what would be scary though is if she no longer was attracted to me if we were married because she feels she won by taming me..

 

[Desdinova]

A female doctor I went on a date once with told me that she knows within seconds or minutes of meeting a guy if there's chemistry... Does this really boil all around looks?

Hard to say. It could be looks, she could have been watching him from afar before they actually interacted with each other.

His little sister however only dates black men. He told me that when she was growing up most of her friends were black. Is this a good example of how early impressions influence attraction as an adult?

I would guess so

"Confidence may not always get you women but without confidence you can't get women"

Agreed 100%

Curious but can women ever reason over their emotions?

Yes they can, but those emotions can torture them for a very long time afterwards.

Really? I have this idea in my head that Asian women are subservient to men.. Was she just boring to be with?

Yes she was. I can honestly say that I really didn't have much fun with her. We chatted, we went out and did things, but she was completely uninteresting.

 

[pipeman84]

Ok the next girl is my current girlfriend.... She was 24 when we first started dating and will be 28 soon, so its been 4 years.... We have a great relationship... she is super into me and never has done anything to disrespect me. However as I've stated in other threads she was not a virgin and has had past sex partners. I never wanted to know or think about it so I never asked her how many she has been with.

What kind of 'great relationship' is that when after 4 years you know less about her sexual past than I know about a random girl after spending 20min trawling through her social media?

A female doctor I went on a date once with told me that she knows within seconds or minutes of meeting a guy if there's chemistry... Does this really boil all around looks? If not what else could give them an emotional jolt upon first meeting you? It seems like a girl will see you and either be attracted or not..

I've heard this too from a female and I believe it 100%. It's not just the looks or how he's dressed per se, is more of his total presence and how he carries himself and whatever patterns (both conscious and sub) he triggers within her. I think it's also true for men. That's why I'm convinced that true attraction is there from the start....if she's wishy-washy at first but then suddenly becomes attracted once she finds out facts about you...ie you've a good job, live in good neighborhood - all these logical things why you're a good catch - then that's not true attraction, it's a need based one.

 

[Reyaj]

What kind of 'great relationship' is that when after 4 years you know less about her sexual past than I know about a random girl after spending 20min trawling through her social media?

Most girls these days have had sex.. Unless you're super pious i think it's a pretty natural occurrence.. Do you really need to know every sexual episode a girl you are with has had? Even if your answer to that is yes I guarantee that you never will outside of you dating a virgin.

That's why I'm convinced that true attraction is there from the start....if she's wishy-washy at first but then suddenly becomes attracted once she finds out facts about you...ie you've a good job, live in good neighborhood - all these logical things why you're a good catch - then that's not true attraction, it's a need based one.

Agree here.