Well guys, it's only been about a week and a half of college for me so far, but already I've learned so much that I wish I could pass back to myself in high school 4 years ago. I hope I can do it for you, I just really hope you take it to heart.
First of all, do not kid yourself. There are cliques, there are stereotypes, and there is a social ladder in every avenue you will ever pass by in life. However, in high school people have no problem overlooking those things because they have people next to them that they can count on to follow the exact same stereotypes as them.
It's the easy way to find 'friends'. But in reality, people don't know exactly who they are, so they don't think twice about allowing a label to be plastered onto them and following a group.
Immaturity is a part of life, but no matter how much you might disagree with me now, when you leave the bubble you're in, you'll see that people are SO alike. Those 'punks' sitting in the corner, the 'preps' on the other side of the room, and every one in between, are people just like you.
They might not see it, but that's not important. What's important is that you see it.
One of the most important things you can do to have fun in life is to meet people. Know people. It doesn't matter how much you're alike, it doesn't matter how much you can actually get out of knowing someone. People are social by nature. If you're standing in line next to someone, and they're not talking to their friend, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SAY HELLO. Ask them questions about themselves, it doesn't matter if by the end of it if all you know is their name, or not even that! When you see them in the hall, you can say hi and have someone to talk to as you walk to class. When you have gym with them next year, you'll already have the ice broken before you even look them in the eyes! The greatest thing about it is that you decide how far it goes. If you want to be good friends with them, you can offer to go check out a movie or something. If you don't, then all you have to do is say hi. In high school, you're around the same people all the time. When you get to know them, it will be so much more fun. It will be easier to get girls, it will be easier to have friends to hangout with when you're ever-so-bored. Popular people have more fun, period. As long as you're not horrendously disfigured, or have slurred speech, etc, you can be popular. You can be at -10 in the looks department, but you can still network with people and I promise there are ways to turn that -10 into a 6 or 7. The key, very simply put, is to get over the stupid impediments your mind puts on you when it comes to doing what humans have been doing for thousands of years... talking to other people. Ignore the stereotypes and social classifications. Even if you meet 1 person and 1 other person laughs at you for socializing with the first person, that will not happen every time. In the end you will have more friends than 'enemies', but don't be afraid to take on those enemies that you would never have gotten along with in the first place.
If you want to have fulfilling, awesome high school memories, you MUST step over your boundries. Your parents and society have put a fence up around you to protect you, but you have to understand that you don't need it anymore. You can think for yourself. So now you draw your own lines. You decide things for yourself.
To become great, you must be proactive. You must take initiative. So I ask you now, take the initiative to meet everyone. UNDERSTAND that the discomfort you get is so minute compared to the benefits you will get from talking to people.
About life after high school, you need to understand two things.
First of all, do not kid yourself. There are cliques, there are stereotypes, and there is a social ladder in every avenue you will ever pass by in life. However, in high school people have no problem overlooking those things because they have people next to them that they can count on to follow the exact same stereotypes as them.
It's the easy way to find 'friends'. But in reality, people don't know exactly who they are, so they don't think twice about allowing a label to be plastered onto them and following a group.
Immaturity is a part of life, but no matter how much you might disagree with me now, when you leave the bubble you're in, you'll see that people are SO alike. Those 'punks' sitting in the corner, the 'preps' on the other side of the room, and every one in between, are people just like you.
They might not see it, but that's not important. What's important is that you see it.
One of the most important things you can do to have fun in life is to meet people. Know people. It doesn't matter how much you're alike, it doesn't matter how much you can actually get out of knowing someone. People are social by nature. If you're standing in line next to someone, and they're not talking to their friend, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SAY HELLO. Ask them questions about themselves, it doesn't matter if by the end of it if all you know is their name, or not even that! When you see them in the hall, you can say hi and have someone to talk to as you walk to class. When you have gym with them next year, you'll already have the ice broken before you even look them in the eyes! The greatest thing about it is that you decide how far it goes. If you want to be good friends with them, you can offer to go check out a movie or something. If you don't, then all you have to do is say hi. In high school, you're around the same people all the time. When you get to know them, it will be so much more fun. It will be easier to get girls, it will be easier to have friends to hangout with when you're ever-so-bored. Popular people have more fun, period. As long as you're not horrendously disfigured, or have slurred speech, etc, you can be popular. You can be at -10 in the looks department, but you can still network with people and I promise there are ways to turn that -10 into a 6 or 7. The key, very simply put, is to get over the stupid impediments your mind puts on you when it comes to doing what humans have been doing for thousands of years... talking to other people. Ignore the stereotypes and social classifications. Even if you meet 1 person and 1 other person laughs at you for socializing with the first person, that will not happen every time. In the end you will have more friends than 'enemies', but don't be afraid to take on those enemies that you would never have gotten along with in the first place.
If you want to have fulfilling, awesome high school memories, you MUST step over your boundries. Your parents and society have put a fence up around you to protect you, but you have to understand that you don't need it anymore. You can think for yourself. So now you draw your own lines. You decide things for yourself.
To become great, you must be proactive. You must take initiative. So I ask you now, take the initiative to meet everyone. UNDERSTAND that the discomfort you get is so minute compared to the benefits you will get from talking to people.
About life after high school, you need to understand two things.
- You cannot focus all of your energy on the future and give up the pleasures of the present
However
- The more you focus on the future, the better the future will be[/list=1]Think of it this way. You want to buy a car. The longer you invest your money, the more you'll have, so the better the car you can buy. But if you invest it forever, you'll never have your car. Here's where the decision part comes in, this is what you need to pay attention to. You have to decide how long you're willing to wait to get a good car. If you take the unsensible, immediate pleasure only choice, you'll choose to have a cheap car immediately. However, if you choose the other unsensible, overcautious choice, you'll never have a car, just some very valuable, intangible numbers in a bank. It is up to you to decide where you draw the line. In real life, this is where your values come in.
When you apply that analogy to meeting people, you can see it this way: on one end you can meet no one, but on the other hand you can meet everyone. The difference is, there is no downside to meeting more people. In fact, the more people you meet, the less discomfort you will get by meeting another. So if you want to look at it mathematically, there is always more good than bad to meeting someone, so you should be meeting as many people as you can. Don't be afraid to be social AT ALL. Basically, meet people as long as it adds to your social life. If and when you reach that point is for you to determine, but I can say that that's still a long way for me.
Don't be afraid to grow up just because you'll be different than everyone else. You don't have to be an idiot or immature to have a good time. I knew a guy in high school that reminds me so much of the people I've met in college, because he was not afraid to shake someone's hand and introduce himself. He didn't have a "group,' his group was whoever sat next to him or bumped into him during the day. People had no problem with him, even though he didn't wear their clothes or play their sport.
But I promise you that when you reach that point you will enjoy life so much more, and the great thing is you have access to it at your fingertips. All in all, I can't really say I expect people to listen to me. They might applaud me for my post and then completely ignore it the following day, but I hope someone does take it to heart because many of the changes people go through when they get to college are available to you guys in high school, and when they happen you only wished they happened sooner.
Yes i have some mates who im good friends with but others im just friends with and get a hello here and there.
