High School 101: Body Language

Sammo

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Have you ever had a hunch about someone? Have you ever decided wether or not you like someone before you have spoken a single word to them? Have you ever gotten the feeling that someone just lied to you? That's body language sub-conciously giving you messages folks. If you have been at this site for a while and haven't really got much out of it then body language is a great place to start. Let me elaborate.

Firstly, the mind and the body are linked on a sub-concious level. Up to this point all the experiences that you have been through have built up to a degree and these experiences reflect your confidence and well-being through your body. Your posture, your speed, even your tone of voice (all though we are leaving that out for now), these plus a few things combine together to create your first impression. If you don't allready know, first impressions are ussually what makes or breaks your chance with a girl, first impressions are everything! After a first impression a girl decides:

Are you confident?
Are you attractive?
Are you succesfull? (this IS transmitted through body language)
Are you comfortable?
Are you happy?
Are you desperate?

These things are all transmitted to her subconciously. MOST of this is transmitted through your body language. 60-80% of all communication is transmitted to people through their body language. Isn't that amazing? That means people have an 80% idea of wether or not they like you just by LOOKING at you. A girl is 80% sure she wants to **** you after just LOOKING at you.

Now this is why you can't get a girl without good bodylanguage: you see those decisions up above? A girl makes her mind up about those things, and she sticks with those choices. Their like light switches. They are either ON or OFF, there is NO middle ground. Once its off its ****en hard to turn on and not worth the effort, better not **** it up! :)

So now you know the importance let me get you in to some stuff you can improve straight away! Make sure you practice each thing for a while before moving on, you want to be doing it unconciously.

Your hands/fidgeting
A thing i see around a lot is people fidget and play with things. NEVER and i repeat NEVER put your hands in your pocket, it just subconciously reeks of insecurity. Dont swing your hands around when you walk, keep them by your side and move them naturally, not all over the place. Don't do over exxagerated hand motions, slow - subtle hand gestures work best. Never play with anything like a pen, a bit of bark, etc. Keep your hands empty, next to your side. Not clenched in fists, just leave em hangin there.

Your head
Stop looking at the ground. Get your chin up and excersice that vision. Have it so high that you feel stupid. When you walk past someone looking at the ground it is just telling them you want to walk past them and have no confrontation what so ever. Look up, explore the world. Also, when you look at something move your head SLOWLY, fast movements of the head looks nervous and worried. Nice and slow head movements. Practice practice practice.

Your size
Take up some room. This is makes you look extremely confident and alpha. When your sitting spreeeeead your legs, if theres a table or a chair then chuck ya leg up on it. Take up all the room ya can. Stick your chest out (be careful with this, it can start to look stupid). When your standing move your legs a little wider and take up more room, have your weight equally on both feet. Take up more room and watch everyone notice you more.

Your speed
SLOW DOWN! Nice and slow movements, make sure they are all the same though. No point walking slow and turning around quickly. It should look as if the world is waiting for you, that's what you want. As if you can control the fabric of time itself. You appear so calm and detatched, girls just love it. Take bigger steps.

You dress
It isn't exactly body language, but had to do with first impressions and im not going to make a whole post on it. I don't really care what you wear, just make sure that it isnt cheap ****, buy some good clothes, you know what looks good. I dont want this to turn in to a debate about what looks best. I will say one thing, try to stay in lighter colours, it gives people a subconcious reaction to you and you stand out more. Dark colours are still useful if you contrast it with lighter colours.

That's all i really have to say. Learn the above and you will reap the rewards. I want you all to know that this isn't an exscuse to 'stand in the corner and look cool'. Body language wont do it all for you but it will do ALOT for you if you locate your ****. The good news is that your improved body language will naturally give you more confidence.

Also, check this out:

"The pick-up doesn't start when you talk to her, it starts when you get up in the morning"

Meaning, the second you get out of bed to when you see her is going to have an effect on your success. Man, you NEED to be having a good day, make sure you are always in a good mood and getting the **** done you said you where going to do.

Oh well im out, next part is on tonality.
 

Viper

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Good but with if the girls already gotten a 'first impression' of you? Well this still work, will she notice a change? Since I'm 5'9 and I'm a tall person, alot of this stuff should be easy to adapt to. Definitely trying this at school today.
 

Pfeile

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Great post Sammo. Very perceptive. :)
It really is amazing how influential your body language is. Because I go to uni now, I see thousands of people every day, and I find it fascinating just observing other people's body language. You can tell so much about a person with one short glance.

And people who don't fidget, walk at their own pace with their head held high etc., I just find myself subconsciously judging them positively. Even if they arennot in reality 100% confident with themselves (who is?), they look it.

One final thing on size; It's not how big you are, but how you use the size you have. I'm small myself (5'4) and I've always thought I was at a disadvantage. But I see guys my size or smaller who walk around doing all those things you mentioned and they look infinitely more confident than some 6ft guy who walks around looking at the ground, afraid that if he looks someone in the eye he'll drop dead or something! :p So basically, anyone can have good body language, regardless of how tall/big you are. :)
 

NYC Dude

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Great job there Sammo. Quite possibly one of the best pieces of advice that I read on this site was a few years ago, about body language too. Now everyone compliments me on my posture, and it has worked wonders.
 

Jay-X

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Originally posted by Viper
Good but with if the girls already gotten a 'first impression' of you? Well this still work, will she notice a change? Since I'm 5'9 and I'm a tall person, alot of this stuff should be easy to adapt to. Definitely trying this at school today.
where do you live? in vietnam? i'm 5'9 myself and i'm often referred to as the "short one"... and italians are certainly not the tallest people on earth...
 

Jay-X

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Originally posted by Soniq_red
Five-Nine is short! Good thing i'm 5-10".

unluckily i know... i hope that i will grow another couple of inches (even one would be good), but i'm already 18... anyway, i've always looked younger, now i'm starting to develop, my face is becoming more and more mature, my facial hair is starting to show and i'm always hungry... so maybe, at least an inch i will grow before i hit my 20s....
 

SlyD4rK

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nice post Sammo

David D. mentioned a lot of this stuff in his book, but i havent heard the 'size' thing yet...nice post
 

Sammo

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With the whole issue of girls you all ready know, it's hard to tell wether or not they will notice the change. You have to start talking to them more for a start, if you have turned all the 'light switches' off then it's going to be hard to turn them on.

It is definettaly possible after a long break. Either way, start meeting some new girls but thats not saying dont try with these girls. Just make sure they aren't your main prospects.
 

Sammo

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Originally posted by Pfeile
One final thing on size; It's not how big you are, but how you use the size you have. I'm small myself (5'4) and I've always thought I was at a disadvantage. But I see guys my size or smaller who walk around doing all those things you mentioned and they look infinitely more confident than some 6ft guy who walks around looking at the ground, afraid that if he looks someone in the eye he'll drop dead or something! :p So basically, anyone can have good body language, regardless of how tall/big you are. :)
Deffinetely true! Man, one of the most alpha guys i know is tiny! He pulls *****es. Its funny watching some people well over 6" pay so much attention and give so much respect to someone so short.
 

PeoplesChamp

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Great Thread!

I'd say first and foremost one should focus on EC and not looking down. So many people subconsciously "reject" themsevles before the opposite sex ever gets a chance...

I too have become very interested in this topic in recent months. I am currently taking experimental psychology and I've been toying with idea of designing an experiment involving the topic of body language. In order to do that you have to review ALL the literature on the subject. I'll be sure to keep you guys posted on whether I learn anything of use or interest.
 

GateKeeper

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Brilliant Articulation. This will probably be sticky'd somewhere
 

The-Sultan

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Nice thread, i like it orginial thoughts aswell.
 

pimpfromdayone

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Nice..... don't know if you mentioned it or not, but, walk about with a smile on your face, and when you look at girls, put on a seductive smirk. I think smiling is one thing a lot of guys don't do because they think they can pull off the "badass" look, but they don't realize that you can still be just as cool if you smile, and you'll be more attractive. Taking up space, GREAT ideas. You know, guys like Joe Pesci and Al Pacino are short but when they walk into a room, they are the biggest guys in there. Walking slow also goes along with talking slow and confidently. Girls like to hear a confident man talk.
 

bladeux

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Good post, some never seen before information in there.

I was wondering though, what's wrong with having something in your hands while walking? I mean I never thought a little thing like that would be a BAD thing.
 

Holy Mo' Fo'

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i quit my school a while ago because i was tired of being everyone's ***** who they could make fun of. probably the best decision i ever made. anyway i went to a see a concert at my old school last night about 2-3 months later, and i was wearing one of those really puffy jackets, and i was just kinda quiet-confident and smiling... and i was amazed! all the girls who had barely noticed me before suddenly took me to be their long lost friend and hugd me and stuff :|

It was pretty sweet, but now i knowe i can do better

Thanks for all the tips, Sammo, you rock.
 

danrizzy

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Nice one Sammo, i have already done the wider stances, but the other tips were great. I'll have to test them out, heh.
 
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